Gimme a Break
Are you one of those people who get annoyed when someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you get angry when you see someone try to cut in line at the post office, as if their time is more important than yours? Do you mumble "idiot" under your breath when you see someone run a red light? Do you get annoyed when you see a frazzled mom trying to corral two screaming, tired children in a grocery store and blame her for disrupting your peace because she can't control her kids?It's so easy to feel angry at people who are disrupting our environment. We all have to live by rules or society breaks down, so when people violate the rules it makes us angry. After all, if we have to stand in line, drive the speed limit, and stop at a red light then everyone else should too, right?
Wrong. Sometimes there are exceptions. Good ones. Sometimes people can't help breaking the rules. Sometimes there is a justified reason for someone to push against societal norms.
For example, one time I was driving down a local road on my way to a doctor appointment. I heard frantic honking behind me. In my rearview mirror I saw a red sports car trying to cut in and out of the slow moving traffic in an obvious attempt to get going faster. Soon more than a few people were on their horns. The light turned red and we all stopped, except I noticed the red car pull out into the left turn lane and turn on their right turn signal. Clearly they wanted to cut in front of the lead car when the light turned green. When the light turned green, the red car quickly accelerated and tried to cut in front of the other car, who sped up in an attempt to make them pay for their transgression. There was almost an accident. The red car reluctantly merged with traffic and continued trying to weave into a lead position.
In my own head I was thinking, "Gee, I wonder why that guy is in such a hurry. Maybe he should allow more time for driving if he has an appointment. Next time he'll know better. He doesn't have the right to ask us to move out of his way just because he's a poor planner." I'm sure people in other cars were cursing at him under their breath.
I pulled into the parking lot of my doctor's office, which was attached to a hospital. I saw the red car in front of me, parked right in front of the emergency room doors. Both car doors were open and I saw a man assisting his pregnant wife out of the car. She was screaming in obvious agony. The man was frantic. I could tell he didn't know if he should help his wife into the emergency room or leave her to go get help.
Obviously this man was not trying to "get away with something" or break the rules. He needed to get to an emergency room right away and was doing everything he could to communicate that to the people in his way. Maybe his actions were rude. Maybe they violated social custom. But he had a good reason.
Sometimes I'm in a hurry too, even though I try to allow extra time to get where I need to go. Sometimes things come up. Sometimes I've even cut people off in traffic because I couldn't figure out which lane I needed to be in until the last moment. We've all done that, right?
The next time you see someone doing something odd, something that breaks the rules, ask yourself if maybe he or she has a good reason. If a car cuts you off, assume the driver has a really good reason. You won't feel so angry. We rarely get to find out what the reason was, so why not assume it's for the higher good. Now when someone cuts me off in traffic I send out a little prayer for them to reach their destination safely. I hope that people will let him pass so there is no accident. And I also hope that the driver isn't in a hurry to get to the hospital where his or her mate has suffered some traumatic injury. When I see a woman standing in line at the post office with two crying children and a harried look on her face I will let her go ahead of me. Because I've been there too. We all have.
Sometimes people are just having a bad day. Maybe they've reached their limit and just can't handle another crisis. The more we help people who appear to be in distress the more likely they are to help a distressed person themselves, which could very well be YOU someday. Instead of assuming people have the worst of intentions, what would happen if we started assuming they have a good reason to do what they're doing? Give people a break. Someday you might need one too.