People ask me all the time how they can figure out their purpose, their one true path through life. I’m sure there is more than one way to get there, but let me share the method I used to finally find my way. Perhaps it will work for you too.
What do you want to be when you grow up?
When people asked me this question growing up I had three answers at various stages of my youth: a teacher, the President of the United States, and “of service, I want to help others.” I wanted to be a teacher because that’s the only job I ever really saw in action. I wanted to be the President so I could fix everything I thought was wrong with the world. And as I grew older, into my teen years, I had witnessed so much suffering that I decided I needed to help people; I wanted to be a hero and fight injustice. Also, throughout my childhood, beginning at age 4, I had a deep and abiding interest in the paranormal, largely due to all the experiences I was having.
A psychic reading with Char
In 10th grade, my mom and aunt gifted me with a reading by Char, the psychic. Char is a truly gifted and wonderful psychic who is fairly popular these days, God bless her. She was my hero back in 10th grade. My mom went with me for the reading since I was underage. When I asked Char what I would be doing professionally, in the future, she actually said, and this is a direct quote: “Interesting. I see you doing what I’m doing.” My heart soared! I mean, the excitement was overwhelming! But then she looked at me and said, “Erin, just because you’re interested in something doesn’t mean you have to do it professionally.” Why did she say that to me? Hopes dashed, confusion, huh? She told me she saw me writing nonfiction and helping a lot of people. I asked her about becoming a parapsychologist and she told me it wasn’t as glamorous as people thought.
College walks into my life
When it came time to decide my major in college, I was torn between Physics and Psychology. I wanted to know and understand how the universe worked, and I also wanted to understand how people worked. But since I was pretty lousy at math and science, I chose to major in Psychology. I have to admit that a part of me wanted to major in Parapsychology but there weren’t too many schools offering such programs, and I was too chicken to leave home. However, before deciding firmly, I did contact Dr. Thelma Moss, a professor at UCLA who was a parapsychologist (featured in Poltergeist actually). I asked her about the profession and she warned me not to go into it because it was mostly statistics. Bummer. There was that math thing again. And she said there was no money in it and no one believed the research either. So I chose Psychology.
Years of Study
I got my Psychology degree with little fanfare, but by this point I realized I didn’t want to be a therapist. We were taught that to be a therapist you had to distance yourself emotionally from your clients or you would take on too much of their suffering and you needed to be able to slough it off at the end of the day. That didn’t sit well with me at all. I was so empathic. I couldn’t imagine treating people like their feelings weren’t affecting me. I didn’t know what to do, so I turned myself back towards physics by entering a graduate program in Human Factors Engineering. My goal was to work for NASA in the space program and help humans adjust to the rigors of space, psychologically. I know… it was a stretch, but it’s all I had. Or was it?
Steve and I met while I was in my last semester of graduate school. I was about to head to Texas for a PhD program but my heart was with Steve and I decided to stay. I took a lousy job as a receptionist just to pay the bills and complained bitterly to Steve every day how much I hated my job and how I didn’t know what to do. He said, “What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?” I replied, “That’s easy. I would write a book. I’d be an author.” He said, “Then do it!” Long story short, I wrote my first novel in just 16 days about my experiences in high school with the paranormal. A chapter a day. It was easy! And Steve read my story and said it was a B+. High praise. I tried to get it published but got rejected by all 3 publishers I sent it to. What a dolt I was to let that stop me. But I didn’t have my personal power button turned on back then.
Adrift and undecided, I went to work with Steve at his company, Dexterity Software. I really enjoyed working with Steve. We were engaged by this point so I figured that helping him was helping us. When our publishing deal went south, I was really adrift. I took a temp job to pay the bills while we got ourselves back on our feet. I started my web consulting business as well, with moderate success. Web development was a far cry from psychology though. I also started VegFamily magazine which was a little closer to my heart because I was helping people raise their vegan kids confidently. I did what I could to help us survive, but I was not living a life on purpose.
A couple of years ago, Steve had me sit down and do an exercise. I call it the Heart, Body, Mind, and Soul exercise. Steve discusses this in his article, Living Congruently. The exercise asks you to answer these four questions:
- What do you want to do? (desire)
- What can you do? (ability)
- What should you do? (purpose)
- What must you do? (need)
Then you look at your list and try to see if there’s anything or any thread that made all four lists. For example, one of my talents is writing music. That landed in my “What can you do?” category. But it wasn’t in any of the others. Explore the universe landed in my “What do you want to do?” category but didn’t make the cut in any of the others. However, I did notice there were a few things that landed in all four categories. They were:
- Help bring the planet to a state of love, peace, and harmony.
- Explore and utilize my paranormal abilities in service to others.
- Communicate, through writing, what I know and what I remember about Source, life, and the universe.
- Help people and end suffering.
Okay, so now what? When I looked at my list all I saw was, “Give this woman a cape and some super powers and sic her on the bad guys.” I waited, but my cape never arrived in the mail. Must have gotten lost. I considered creating another online magazine that would explore life, the universe, and everything. I considered getting into politics so I could get in there and start making changes. I thought about writing another book. I even considered going back to school to finally become the parapsychologist I think I was supposed to be, but the math requirement hadn’t changed. Darnit.
I was using a control strategy to try to figure out what to do. I brought my lack of success to Steve (as usual) and he said, “Ever since I’ve known you, you’ve been interested in the paranormal. You’ve had more real experiences than anyone I’ve ever known. If you had all the money in the world you would still be interested in the paranormal and pursue it. I don’t think you realize that your purpose has been chasing you since you were a child. Why do you think you had all those experiences growing up?” He was right. The paranormal followed me my entire life; my interest in it never waned.
Letting go and allowing purpose to find me
Back in college I tried so hard to bury my intuitive abilities so I could be normal. Now I realized I had to unbury them so I could help people. But how? I reopened my heart chakra. I had a long chat with my guides who were happy to see I was listening to them again. I released all the fears I had about going public about my abilities. I began meditating again. I turned my “radio” back on and turned up the volume. I immersed myself in the paranormal up to my eyeballs. I allowed it back in.
I told the spirits that I was ready and willing to help people, and they made me able. Once that contract was signed, my abilities grew so fast and so quickly. My head was spinning (not Exorcist style!) and I could barely keep up with the tasks they were giving me. Appear on the Criss Angel show, meet Doreen Virtue and get confirmation, give psychic readings to friends, family, and then total strangers. Start a blog and start telling people what I know. Begin seeing and hearing dead people. Boost my abilities through practice. Meet John Edward. Form a psychic development group so I could practice my abilities and be around other people into the paranormal.
If someone had told me last year that I would be a professional psychic medium today I would have thought they were smoking crack.
Finding your purpose
I am literally living a dream, people. I have never been so happy and fulfilled in my life. I really think that each of us has a similar path to purpose. Do the exercise I did and see what emerges. Don’t be afraid to dream. Don’t be afraid to embrace your true desires. Don’t worry about the how, just handle the why and the how will come. Get back in touch with your true self, not the one created by fear and ego and years of schooling. Who are you really? Why did you come here? What is in your heart, your body, your mind, and your soul? What does your spirit yearn for? What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail? What interests would you have if you were financially free?
Do not give up on finding your purpose. Find your purpose and you will find nirvana.