The Path to Purpose
October 4th, 2006 by Erin Pavlina
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People ask me all the time how they can figure out their purpose, their one true path through life. I’m sure there is more than one way to get there, but let me share the method I used to finally find my way. Perhaps it will work for you too.
What do you want to be when you grow up?
When people asked me this question growing up I had three answers at various stages of my youth: a teacher, the President of the United States, and “of service, I want to help others.” I wanted to be a teacher because that’s the only job I ever really saw in action. I wanted to be the President so I could fix everything I thought was wrong with the world. And as I grew older, into my teen years, I had witnessed so much suffering that I decided I needed to help people; I wanted to be a hero and fight injustice. Also, throughout my childhood, beginning at age 4, I had a deep and abiding interest in the paranormal, largely due to all the experiences I was having.
A psychic reading with Char
In 10th grade, my mom and aunt gifted me with a reading by Char, the psychic. Char is a truly gifted and wonderful psychic who is fairly popular these days, God bless her. She was my hero back in 10th grade. My mom went with me for the reading since I was underage. When I asked Char what I would be doing professionally, in the future, she actually said, and this is a direct quote: “Interesting. I see you doing what I’m doing.” My heart soared! I mean, the excitement was overwhelming! But then she looked at me and said, “Erin, just because you’re interested in something doesn’t mean you have to do it professionally.” Why did she say that to me? Hopes dashed, confusion, huh? She told me she saw me writing nonfiction and helping a lot of people. I asked her about becoming a parapsychologist and she told me it wasn’t as glamorous as people thought.
College walks into my life
When it came time to decide my major in college, I was torn between Physics and Psychology. I wanted to know and understand how the universe worked, and I also wanted to understand how people worked. But since I was pretty lousy at math and science, I chose to major in Psychology. I have to admit that a part of me wanted to major in Parapsychology but there weren’t too many schools offering such programs, and I was too chicken to leave home. However, before deciding firmly, I did contact Dr. Thelma Moss, a professor at UCLA who was a parapsychologist (featured in Poltergeist actually). I asked her about the profession and she warned me not to go into it because it was mostly statistics. Bummer. There was that math thing again. And she said there was no money in it and no one believed the research either. So I chose Psychology.
Years of Study
I got my Psychology degree with little fanfare, but by this point I realized I didn’t want to be a therapist. We were taught that to be a therapist you had to distance yourself emotionally from your clients or you would take on too much of their suffering and you needed to be able to slough it off at the end of the day. That didn’t sit well with me at all. I was so empathic. I couldn’t imagine treating people like their feelings weren’t affecting me. I didn’t know what to do, so I turned myself back towards physics by entering a graduate program in Human Factors Engineering. My goal was to work for NASA in the space program and help humans adjust to the rigors of space, psychologically. I know… it was a stretch, but it’s all I had. Or was it?
Enter Steve
Steve and I met while I was in my last semester of graduate school. I was about to head to Texas for a PhD program but my heart was with Steve and I decided to stay. I took a lousy job as a receptionist just to pay the bills and complained bitterly to Steve every day how much I hated my job and how I didn’t know what to do. He said, “What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?” I replied, “That’s easy. I would write a book. I’d be an author.” He said, “Then do it!” Long story short, I wrote my first novel in just 16 days about my experiences in high school with the paranormal. A chapter a day. It was easy! And Steve read my story and said it was a B+. High praise. I tried to get it published but got rejected by all 3 publishers I sent it to. What a dolt I was to let that stop me. But I didn’t have my personal power button turned on back then. 
Adrift
Adrift and undecided, I went to work with Steve at his company, Dexterity Software. I really enjoyed working with Steve. We were engaged by this point so I figured that helping him was helping us. When our publishing deal went south, I was really adrift. I took a temp job to pay the bills while we got ourselves back on our feet. I started my web consulting business as well, with moderate success. Web development was a far cry from psychology though. I also started VegFamily magazine which was a little closer to my heart because I was helping people raise their vegan kids confidently. I did what I could to help us survive, but I was not living a life on purpose.
The Exercise
A couple of years ago, Steve had me sit down and do an exercise. I call it the Heart, Body, Mind, and Soul exercise. Steve discusses this in his article, Living Congruently. The exercise asks you to answer these four questions:
- What do you want to do? (desire)
- What can you do? (ability)
- What should you do? (purpose)
- What must you do? (need)
Then you look at your list and try to see if there’s anything or any thread that made all four lists. For example, one of my talents is writing music. That landed in my “What can you do?” category. But it wasn’t in any of the others.  Explore the universe landed in my “What do you want to do?” category but didn’t make the cut in any of the others. However, I did notice there were a few things that landed in all four categories. They were:
- Help bring the planet to a state of love, peace, and harmony.
- Explore and utilize my paranormal abilities in service to others.
- Communicate, through writing, what I know and what I remember about Source, life, and the universe.
- Help people and end suffering.
Purpose emerges
Okay, so now what? When I looked at my list all I saw was, “Give this woman a cape and some super powers and sic her on the bad guys.” I waited, but my cape never arrived in the mail. Must have gotten lost. I considered creating another online magazine that would explore life, the universe, and everything. I considered getting into politics so I could get in there and start making changes. I thought about writing another book. I even considered going back to school to finally become the parapsychologist I think I was supposed to be, but the math requirement hadn’t changed. Darnit.
I was using a control strategy to try to figure out what to do. I brought my lack of success to Steve (as usual) and he said, “Ever since I’ve known you, you’ve been interested in the paranormal. You’ve had more real experiences than anyone I’ve ever known. If you had all the money in the world you would still be interested in the paranormal and pursue it. I don’t think you realize that your purpose has been chasing you since you were a child. Why do you think you had all those experiences growing up?” He was right. The paranormal followed me my entire life; my interest in it never waned.
Letting go and allowing purpose to find me
Back in college I tried so hard to bury my intuitive abilities so I could be normal. Now I realized I had to unbury them so I could help people. But how? I reopened my heart chakra. I had a long chat with my guides who were happy to see I was listening to them again. I released all the fears I had about going public about my abilities. I began meditating again. I turned my “radio” back on and turned up the volume. I immersed myself in the paranormal up to my eyeballs. I allowed it back in.Â
I told the spirits that I was ready and willing to help people, and they made me able. Once that contract was signed, my abilities grew so fast and so quickly. My head was spinning (not Exorcist style!) and I could barely keep up with the tasks they were giving me. Appear on the Criss Angel show, meet Doreen Virtue and get confirmation, give psychic readings to friends, family, and then total strangers. Start a blog and start telling people what I know. Begin seeing and hearing dead people.  Boost my abilities through practice. Meet John Edward. Form a psychic development group so I could practice my abilities and be around other people into the paranormal.
If someone had told me last year that I would be a professional psychic medium today I would have thought they were smoking crack.Â
Finding your purpose
I am literally living a dream, people. I have never been so happy and fulfilled in my life. I really think that each of us has a similar path to purpose. Do the exercise I did and see what emerges. Don’t be afraid to dream. Don’t be afraid to embrace your true desires. Don’t worry about the how, just handle the why and the how will come. Get back in touch with your true self, not the one created by fear and ego and years of schooling. Who are you really? Why did you come here? What is in your heart, your body, your mind, and your soul? What does your spirit yearn for? What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail? What interests would you have if you were financially free?
Do not give up on finding your purpose. Find your purpose and you will find nirvana.
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October 4th, 2006 at 6:32 am
Great post, Erin.
I must have missed Steve’s post but the 4 questions exercises seems to be really helpful. Will need to do it myself.
BTW, how do you meditate?
October 4th, 2006 at 7:04 am
Thanks, Erin. This was an inspiring post - particularly the letting the “how” take care of itself.
October 4th, 2006 at 9:56 am
Thank you for your essay. It fell on eyes that were desperate to absorb them.
Thank you.
Adiaha
October 4th, 2006 at 3:21 pm
This was excellent Erin (as usual) and really helped me, as well as tying in with the recent email reading you did for me.
October 5th, 2006 at 1:42 am
That was a good post, as usual.
You know, I still can’t believe that the first thing I do when I go online is read your blog and Steve’s. I remember the time when I first read your blog and thought, “Oh my god, Steve’s married to a kook! What is this guy thinking??? He’s letting her out! Lock her up somewhere!”
How I’ve changed.
I still haven’t had any personal paranormal experiences though, but I think it’s mostly because I’m scared.
October 5th, 2006 at 10:24 am
Monkeyboy, I have the same issue with fear. I’ve had many paranormal experiences in my life, but they tend to create a fear reaction for me. I don’t know why - I am intensely interested in the paranormal and I know I have a connection to the Spirit world that’s just part of who I am. The only thing I can think of is when I was young (3 or 4 years old) I had some very frightening experiences.
Occasionally, I ask for a confirmation of my connection and get it, then get scared and ask it to go away. So I’m playing cat and mouse with the Other Side.
Imagine what we could do if we could just learn to let go of the fear.
Erin, I would love your input on this. How do we let go of the fear and become who we’re meant to be?
October 5th, 2006 at 11:03 am
Lol monkey..
Psychics?? Pbbbt…
Who believes in that stuff??
I do wish I had some cool purpose chasing me since I was a kid…. my best skills were talking a LOT of smack and generally getting in trouble.
October 5th, 2006 at 12:31 pm
Some things haven’t changed right Dan? LOL. You know you love me.
Wendy, I’ll talk about how to let go of the fear in a new entry. I’ve got a lot of experience with that.
Monkeyboy: Sometimes I think we should be locking Steve up.
October 5th, 2006 at 12:57 pm
Cool post, though I don’t agree with the ‘not good at math’ crutch. Maybe that was just a subconscious push away from that and towards what you really wanted to do, what you do now, but I doubt it was a real hinderence. Math skills can be developed, and its not like you were going into theoretical physics, you would be only doing statistics/probability which even business students (notoriously bad at math) master. Not liking math is another thing, and no one should do what they don’t like, but not good at it, no, your definitely smart enough.
October 5th, 2006 at 4:46 pm
Very insightful and helpful post. I’m having trouble outlining my own process. My purpose didn’t come to me until I abandoned fear and I was willing to accept it. All along, there were strong hints, but, like you, the fear thing got in the way. Once that lifted, it was like voosh.
(I must learn how to use words.)
October 5th, 2006 at 5:14 pm
“Voosh” works for me. I read a quote a long time ago that said something like, “If you understand the meaning of what I’ve said, we’ve communicated. It doesn’t matter what words we used.”
October 8th, 2006 at 3:17 pm
This is sooo beautiful. Thanks for sharing, Erin! =) So happy for you!
October 9th, 2006 at 11:29 am
Erin,
I, like you have had an unrelenting interest in the paranormal since childhood. I don’t feel like I have any fear. However these experiences are fiew and far between for me. Can you offer any insight as to the possible reason why?
Thanks!!
October 9th, 2006 at 5:48 pm
Erin Johnson: Your radio is on but the volume is not turned up high enough to you to hear the broadcast. Work on increasing your connection by listening more often to your intuition, figuring out whether you are clairvoyant, -audient, -sentient, or -cognizant, and getting in direct contact with your higher self and spirit guides.
October 25th, 2006 at 1:01 am
You sound like you’re in a very happy place in your life right now Erin and I’m happy for you
August 17th, 2007 at 9:45 pm
[...] Erin Pavlina presents Erin Pavlina’s Blog » Blog Archive » The Path to Purpose posted at Erin Pavlina’s Blog. Enjoy! [...]
September 18th, 2007 at 9:08 am
[...] LittleKeebler, do the exercise in The Path to Purpose and see what emerges. __________________ Erin Pavlina Psychic Medium, Author, Speaker, Blogger, Wife to Steve Pavlina "Erin’s reading was unbelievably insightful. In just 20 minutes she helped me sort through 4 major areas of my life that I’ve been struggling with in therapy for more than 8 years! I was stunned. I’m truly amazed at her abilities, and I am so thankful I found her when I did." - Jeanette in Tulsa, OK [...]
October 11th, 2007 at 8:58 pm
[...] With this nagging question welling up directly, viscerally, I had one of those little accidents that aren’t really accidents that helped give me an answer. I stumbled across an article by psychic medium Erin Pavlina on her blog from about a year ago entitled “The Path to Purpose.” If you haven’t run across Erin and her husband, personal development guru and blogmaster extraordinaire Steve Pavlina, these two have mountains of wisdom posted on the internet, free for the using. [...]
October 26th, 2007 at 9:23 am
[...] Applying "Congruence" Personally To all — This is both a statement and an announcement. Recently, my father died. It was unexpected — and it was sudden, but fortunately quick. I believe I have worked through the impact of this, but one thing it left in its wake was a new viewpoint on my life I never had before: both of my parents are now dead. I’ve written about this at some length on my personal blog, but the "Cliffs Notes" version is that I found myself staring into the question: What is my legacy? What do I have to offer of benefit to … to anyone? Then, lo and behold, I stumble across “The Path to Purpose” on Erin’s blog. In this she references Steve’s earlier article, “Living Congruently.” Working through the questions in the exercise, it boiled down to a more fundamental question for me personally: What is the most important thing in my life? The Inner Light, of course. I’m sure most of the readers here have their own understanding of this, and call it by any of a billion names. For me there’s a special sweetness to this which I describe in my blog article “The Holy.” There was my legacy, right in front of me. It was my understanding of the Inner Light, and what helps me get there, and stay there. With that in mind, I have relaunched my Words to Heal and GratefulNotes blogs because, really, this is what they should have been about all along. I shut them both down some time ago because I wasn’t reaching my audience, so it was apparent I needed to step back and rethink them. So, as Steve has said, "Universe, you’d better back me up." Thank you all, __________________ Daniel Words to Heal http://www.wordstoheal.com The Meaning of Existence (and all that) http://www.danielbrenton.com [...]
November 2nd, 2007 at 7:15 am
[...] Do the exercise in my blog entry, The Path to Purpose to determine your true north. __________________ Erin Pavlina Psychic Medium, Author, Speaker, Blogger, Wife to Steve Pavlina "Erin’s reading was unbelievably insightful. In just 20 minutes she helped me sort through 4 major areas of my life that I’ve been struggling with in therapy for more than 8 years! I was stunned. I’m truly amazed at her abilities, and I am so thankful I found her when I did." - Jeanette in Tulsa, OK [...]
December 2nd, 2007 at 2:45 pm
[...] Writing may be your talent and passion. Add a way to draw an income to it and also find a way to make a contribution with it and you’ll be all set! Read my blog entry, The Path to Purpose if you haven’t already. __________________ Erin Pavlina Psychic Medium, Author, Speaker, Blogger, Wife to Steve Pavlina "Erin’s reading was unbelievably insightful. In just 20 minutes she helped me sort through 4 major areas of my life that I’ve been struggling with in therapy for more than 8 years! I was stunned. I’m truly amazed at her abilities, and I am so thankful I found her when I did." - Jeanette in Tulsa, OK [...]
December 21st, 2007 at 9:21 am
[...] Make your job a purposeful and integral part of your personal life. When you wake up in the morning, do you immediately start looking forward to getting to work or are you immediately bombarded with a sense of dread? Do you push your personal interests and unique talents aside and head off in heavy traffic to work at something you don’t actually enjoy? Achieving true happiness at your job often depends on integrating making a living with doing something you find personally meaningful. To take it another step, resolve to use the New Year to find a job that provides purpose rather than just money. For more on this, read our post Why and How to Look for a Job You Love and take a look at Erin Pavlina’s The Path to Purpose. [...]
December 24th, 2007 at 4:48 pm
[...] Read my blog entry on The Path to Purpose and you’ll see that you’ve got to find a career that earns the income you want, that you are passionate about, that fulfills you, and that you are good at. Do the exercise in the article and see what you come up with. __________________ Erin Pavlina Psychic Medium, Author, Speaker, Blogger, Wife to Steve Pavlina "Erin’s reading was unbelievably insightful. In just 20 minutes she helped me sort through 4 major areas of my life that I’ve been struggling with in therapy for more than 8 years! I was stunned. I’m truly amazed at her abilities, and I am so thankful I found her when I did." - Jeanette in Tulsa, OK [...]
May 12th, 2008 at 3:02 am
[...] on all the tv and radio programs in the day. I’ve written about the reading she gave me in another blog entry. After my meeting with her, though, she gave me the name of the woman who mentored her and taught [...]
July 17th, 2008 at 8:05 am
[...] you simply want to work outside. Then go from there. When I did the exercise in my blog entry, The Path to Purpose, I realized that exploring and sharing what I know about the afterlife and the paranormal is what [...]
September 13th, 2008 at 11:19 pm
[...] Pavlina presents Erin Pavlina’s Blog » Blog Archive » The Path to Purpose posted at Erin Pavlina’s Blog, saying, “People ask me all the time how they can figure [...]
September 15th, 2008 at 3:33 am
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September 20th, 2008 at 12:58 am
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September 21st, 2008 at 6:43 am
Living by Design Blog Carnival No.28…
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