Do We Choose Our Children?

Question:  I know you’ve previously stated that a reincarnated soul chooses their own parents, but do you (as a soul) ever get to choose the soul of your potential children?  Do souls get together and plan like that, or is it much like real life and you just end up with who you end up with?

Answer:  As you mentioned, I wrote an article in the past called Picking Our Parents and Life Circumstances which discusses the process by which we select suitable parents who will help us accomplish our goals in life, either by being great models of what we are to learn or by challenging us.  But do parents choose their kids too?

I’ve learned a lot about how this works while doing intuitive readings for people, because I can see the circumstances surrounding impending births.  In fact, while we always choose our parents and life situation, we don’t always choose what children we will have.  I’ve seen several variations in the ether.

The first situation I’ll describe is when you and your child’s soul choose each other before you’re both born.  So both of your souls are in the ether and you make a deal, a contract, a decision that one of you will be the parent and one of you will be the child.  The parent soul incarnates, does their thing, and when the time comes, if the circumstances are still right, the child soul will become your child (either through pregnancy or adoption, it will get to you somehow!).  Deal done.

In the second situation I’ve seen, an incarnated person makes a contract with a soul that has yet to incarnate.  You probably don’t do this consciously, though I’ve known people who were aware of their contracts even though they were already incarnated.  Usually it’s your higher self or the child’s guides who work out the arrangements, much as I described in my article on Choosing Your Parents.  In this case, the child sort of has the upper hand because they chose you, and you are not consciously choosing this particular soul, but are instead trusting your higher self and guides to find an appropriate soul to be your child.

I’ve also had people ask me during readings if they are destined to have children.  In some cases I can see they’ve made a contract with a child before incarnating so I tell them that yes, indeed, there is a child contracted to come to you.  I can usually pick up on details around the arrangement, like why they chose you as a parent and what they’re waiting for. 

I’ve also read for people that have no contract with a child soul at all.  In this case, you’ve decided to incarnate but did not decide in advance if you yourself would someday be a parent.  It becomes a choice for you later.  If you decide you want a child, you request one from the ether.  One may not come to you, though.  Again, circumstances have to be right for the child to choose you as its parent.  If a child does come to you, it has been deemed appropriate by the child’s soul, your higher self, and the guides.  If you decide you don’t want a child, you’re not breaking any karmic contracts by refusing to have children.

Does the child have a contract with just one parent or both?  In some cases I’ve seen that the child appears to have a contract with just one parent, but the circumstances are just fine with the other soon-to-be parent as well.  Sometimes during readings I have said, “Oh this is your challenging child, the one you have karma to work out with.”  And my sitter usually confirms that they are aware of their particular “issues” and that the other parent doesn’t seem to have the same issues to work out with that child.  However, sometimes the contract is made with both parents.  I usually only see that when the contract is made after the two parents are together.

Can contracts be broken?  You betcha!  Remember, once we incarnate, we have free will.  You can decide you don’t want to fulfill a contract with a child.  I see it all the time.  Life can be very challenging and you may decide that bringing a child into the world isn’t in your or its best interests.  Sometimes the child decides to break the contract because your life circumstances have changed to the point where it doesn’t think it’s going to learn the lessons it wants to learn.  No hard feelings here, though.  The child will find other suitable parents or decide to skip incarnating.  If you have a soul connection with the child, you’ll see it again when you disincarnate.

What about siblings?  Do they choose to incarnate together?  Yes, I see this frequently too.  In fact, I knew that both of my children had chosen to incarnate as siblings.  They have a contract with each other to go through life as siblings.  Their spiritual bond is very strong, there is some reason they chose to incarnate together.  Sometimes siblings don’t have a contract though.  The dynamics of this are wide and varied.

While we’re on the subject, sometimes I see deceased family members holding babies.  It took a while for me to discern whether these were babies destined to become family members or deceased babies who maybe died in utero, were aborted, or who died as infants.  I still get confused sometimes.  If you have lost a baby, trust me when I tell you that your baby is not alone in the ether.  He or she is with family or with angels, or perhaps even waiting for another chance at being a member of your family.  And yes, sometimes babies that don’t make it through the first time come back at a more suitable time.

If you are having difficulty getting pregnant or otherwise having a child, please consider that you either have no contract with a child, or the timing simply isn’t right for a child.  It could also be that your guides haven’t found the right child for you.  Work on becoming a vibrational match for this desire if you’re not already.  And be sure to watch for signs that maybe you’re supposed to adopt or become a foster parent, etc.  There are many ways to be a parent, and there are so many children out there in need of love.

Dreams of your future children are common too.  It’s their way of saying, “I’m coming!  Please wait for me.”  Or in some cases, “Can you please have sex?  Give me a shot for Heaven’s sake!”  ;)

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