How to Energetically Let Go of an Ex

How do you handle break-ups? Do you eat chocolate or ice cream? Cry on your friends’ shoulders? Go drinking with your buddies? Hole yourself up in your room with a box of tissues, a match, and a photo? If you’ve had your heart broken, you know there’s no fast and easy fix. You try to keep the rest of your life together while THAT part of your life breaks into pieces. You’re devastated, undone, cast off, falling without a net or a parachute. It sucks.

Then the dust settles and you can breathe again. Sometimes only short gasping breaths, but you’re breathing nonetheless. As time goes by, the pain lessens, and maybe you even start to remember the good times. Maybe you even start to wonder why you broke up or start to think about getting back together with your ex. Sometimes that works, but most of the time it doesn’t.

Is there a way to get over an ex faster though?

To answer that, we have to go back to the beginning of a relationship. When you let someone into your heart, you create an energetic bond with them. As your heart opens, their energy mingles with yours until you are one big swirling ball of love energy. You make your friends sick with all the love you’re spewing. It’s fun, it’s awesome. You get closer still, and now your partner’s energy is setting up residence in your heart. It’s like you gave them a drawer in your dresser, or space in your closet for their things. You’re attached.

What’s actually happening energetically is that you’re building a cord of energy between the two of you. You have cords of energy between you and all the people you let into your life (friends, relatives, co-workers, etc.), but the strongest cord is usually between you and your partner. It’s built on love, experiences, shared dreams, future plans, etc.

So what happens when you break up? Energetically the cord can rip and tear. A disruption occurs. The love energy that used to flow back and forth between you is now dis-eased, poisoned, angry, upset, sad. And that cord continues to pump energy into you. Where once it was good, now it doesn’t feel good at all. When you’re ready to let go of your ex energetically, there are ways you can do it so it won’t hurt so bad.

First, you’ve got to gently lift that cord up and out of your energetic body and let it fall gently to the floor, in peace and love, for your own good, and for the highest good of all. To do this, repeat this mantra, or use it as an example to create your own.

“I release your energy from mine. I send you peace, love, and compassion. I appreciate the love we shared, but now it’s time to let you go. I wish you well.”

Then literally imagine you are lifting a cord up and out of your heart and let it waft gently to the ground. This will release you from their energy so it doesn’t continue to negatively affect you. If your ex wants to keep pumping hatred, blame or anger through the cord, it will no longer be anchored in you, and that’s his or her choice to keep doing that if desired.

You may need to do this several times until you really feel released from your ex’s energy.

Most people try to rip the cord from their body, leaving pieces behind like angry shrapnel that continues to poison you over the years. It’s far better to take the “arrow” out clean without leaving the barbs behind.

When you release the energetic cord between you, you may feel like there’s a gaping hole in your heart. To close the wound, use this mantra (or create your own similar mantra):

“I am whole and complete within myself. I am worthy of being loved for who I truly am. I am always connected to Divine Love. I feel the love around me, and remember that I am never truly alone.”

While you’re saying this mantra, imagine a beautiful, pure white light coming into your body and filling you with Divine Love.

Spending time with friends who can remind you of your greatness is good. Reconnecting with your higher self to remember who you really are and how whole you really are, is good too.

Another method you can use is to imagine having a conversation with your ex the way you WANT it go, not the way you EXPECT it would go. Have a loving, peaceful conversation where you let go with love and understanding. That will create energetic ripples that will impact your ex with love and forgiveness on an ethereal level. It will help you both, especially if you’re still energetically attached by your cords.

If you don’t do any work consciously to release the energetic cords between you, they will eventually erode and wither in time. But they can still remain stuck inside you, with no pulse, dragging along behind you, crowding out room for others to make new connections with you, and subtly keeping you anchored in the past. It’s better to clean out all the cords that no longer serve your highest good. This works for friends, relatives, and co-workers too, not just exes. Think about everyone in your life for whom you still carry a grudge or for whom you can’t forgive. Find their cords in your body and lift them up and out, letting them fall gently to the ground.

You’ll feel lighter. You’ll feel better. Time does heal all wounds, but you can help that along by cleaning the wound and covering it with a bandage. And a little chocolate doesn’t hurt either. ;)

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