How do you react to setbacks in your life? Do you get upset and angry? Rant about the unfairness of fate? Plot revenge against those wronged you? Do you curl up in a ball and mope? Does depression and a sense of defeat overwhelm you? Do you shut down, completely unable to move on?
What if what we think are major setbacks in our lives are actually blessings in disguise? What if these personal disasters are not disasters at all? What if a setback is the only way to untangle a knot and move you forward on your path? What if problems, personal disasters, and setbacks are mechanisms used to get you off of one path and onto another?
Years ago my boyfriend broke his leg. I took him to the hospital where they x-rayed his leg and found he’d broken his ankle. Big bummer right? For a very healthy and active person, this may have appeared to be a setback. But in the x-ray, the doctors discovered a strange growth on his shin bone. It was a tumor. They removed it and told him that breaking his ankle probably saved his entire leg. Was breaking his ankle a setback or a blessing?
When I first separated from my husband in 2009 I saw it as a huge setback. I was worried about how I was going to stabilize my income, take care of two children largely on my own, and cope with the loss of what I thought was going to be my companion for life. However, it didn’t take long for me to realize what a blessing our separation was. The sense of independence, freedom, and joy I have is monumental. I ramped up my business in ways I probably never would have thought of while in the confines of my marriage. And I found myself again, and grew into the person I am today, whom I love dearly. It was a difficult process, but definitely a blessing.
But what is orchestrating these setbacks? Is it just random luck? Or is it orchestrated?
I personally believe our spirit guides and higher selves have a lot to do with it. Your higher self set an intention for you before you incarnated. Knowing you’d forget this intention, your higher self assigned you some spirit guides to help nudge you along and keep you on track. When your guides see you’re going down a road that is not aligned with your intentions, they begin looking for ways to adjust your course, to nudge you off one path and onto another. These spiritual detours sometimes appear devastating because you’re not expecting them and often they are severely uncomfortable, but sometimes they are the only way to get you on another path.
I have learned over the years to trust my guides. I may not enjoy the setbacks while they’re happening, but I trust that when something major happens to me that it is serving a purpose and that it’s in my highest good.
The way to turn a setback into a blessing is to have a paradigm shift when something “bad” happens. Instead of seeing it as devastating, begin to look at where it’s going to lead you.
Did you get fired? Maybe it’s time to start that business you’ve been thinking about for years.
Did you get into a horrible car accident and have to spend a month in the hospital? Maybe that’s where you’re going to meet your future spouse.
Did you have a miscarriage? Maybe the time and conditions are not quite right for that baby to arrive, but with some adjustments, the timing will be much better.
Is there any way to know where the guides are trying to get you to go so you don’t have to have a setback to get on track? Yes! Being in touch with your intuition and your guides can keep you on your path so you don’t have to get slammed in the face by disaster. Meditate to tune in to your guides, and determine your dominant intuitive modality so you can strengthen it. If necessary, you can get a reading with me and I’ll tell you what path your guides are trying to move you towards and how to get there without a huge setback.
When a setback happens to you, instead of getting upset and banging your head against the wall, ask yourself, “What’s good about this? What is the universe trying to get me to see? Why is the road I’ve been on now blocked by rubble, and which way am I being drawn to go next?”
When I was 10 years old, during a period of heavy rains, the hill behind our house came down in a huge mudslide. It was frightening watching tons of mud encroaching on our house, threatening its foundation. I remember my mom screaming for us to get out of the house before it collapsed onto us or buried us. After everything stopped moving, only our garage was filled with mud, but the house was intact. I remember my mom looking around the backyard at the damage and musing to herself, “You know… I always wanted a mound in the backyard. Now I don’t have to pay a landscaper to build one. It’s even in the right spot. How lucky is that?” Luck indeed.
Setbacks are opportunities to head off in a new direction that will likely make you happier. Instead of standing agape at the disaster, start to pick through the rubble and see where you might uncover a blessing. Trust me, it’s there. You may not see it right away. In fact it may take years and a lot of hindsight. But it’s there.