Helping Others When You Can’t Help Yourself

I’ve read for a lot of clients who want to go into the self-help profession. Coaches, counselors, therapists, personal development leaders, speakers, writers, you name it. People who have a sincere and honest desire to help others. And the one protest I always hear is, “How can I help other people when my own life is less than perfect? Who am I to give advice when my own life is something of a mess?”

Hear me now. You do not have to have your life together in order to help someone get theirs together. You don’t.

Knowing how to help someone else has nothing to do with how perfect your life is. If you had to be perfect in order to help someone else, there would be no people at all in the self-help industry.

Seriously, what do you see among the “gurus” out there? Divorce, addiction, bankruptcy, jail time, melt-downs, even suicides. Doesn’t make a whit of difference, they’re still helping others. How is this possible?

Your ability to help someone has to do with your ability to find out what’s blocking a person from achieving success and then helping them get over that block. Helping someone is about seeing where they are stuck, and helping them get over the hurdle. It’s about seeing where they have fallen out of vibrational harmony, then helping them find it again. And that has NOTHING whatsoever to do with your personal life, how you handle your own problems, and how perfect your life is. Nothing.

I don’t want to hear you use this excuse: “I’ll help other people once I’ve figured out how to make my own life perfect.” No. You will never get there then.

Take Beverly DeAngelis. She’s a famous relationship expert. She used to be married to John Gray, another famous relationship expert. With a divorce under their belts they continue to give good solid relationship advice to others.

Many financial experts have experienced bankruptcy. They still give great advice to others.

I had a therapist when I was a teenager who was a raging alcoholic, but he healed me of my anxiety, and I’ll be forever grateful to him.

Am I saying you can go out tomorrow and be a guru on a whim? No. You need to build up your tools and tactics. You need to practice your skills and techniques. You need to refine your approach. You need to train yourself or get training from experts. But you absolutely do not need to wait until your life is perfect to begin learning the tools and techniques to assist others.

I was at a Tony Robbins seminar back in the 90′s. He shared with the audience that he used to have a belief that he wasn’t educated enough to help anyone. So many other people in his field had degrees. He didn’t have a single one. But he changed this belief to “I have a PhD in results.” And he did. He found a way to help others, and began helping others. Then, even while he was divorcing his first wife, he still helped other people with their relationships. What a concept! ;)

Do you want to help other people? Do you have a burning desire to give to others, help them with their lives, and assist them in overcoming life’s challenges? Then let nothing stop you. No excuses. Get started. You already have it within you to succeed, now get out of your own way.

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