Answer:  Clairvoyance means clear-seeing.  It is the psychic faculty that goes through the third eye chakra located between your eyebrows.  With clairvoyance you see images in your mind’s eye, the same place you see dreams at night with your physical eyes closed.  It’s the same place you go when you daydream or remember an event from your past.  We all have the ability to see in our mind’s eye.

When you use this ability to do psychic readings, something a little different is happening.   You’re opening your mind to receiving information that will help you or help someone else.  In other words, you’re receiving an energetic download from the universe, guides, Source, angels, etc. which you must interpret so that you can help others, as in a psychic reading, or get greater clarity on your own path.

So if you’re already able to tune in to these images, how do you discern which are from “out there” and which are just fear, logic, or ego-driven?  How do you get to a place where you know for sure when you are receiving an energetic download from spirit or when you are just thinking with your own mind? 

Get High
Not on drugs!  On vibration.  You need to get to a high vibration before opening yourself up to receiving clairvoyant images.  Do this with meditation, deep breathing, or putting yourself in a state of love, joy, and gratitude.  If you do this work in a low vibrational state such as anger, fear, depression, or guilt, you may not connect with the beings who have your highest interest at heart.  It doesn’t have to be a permanent state, just get yourself to a high vibration before you start.  My free ebook, 10 Ways to Raise Your Vibration in Under 10 Minutes will help you with this.

Boot Up Your Chakras
Your chakras are the energy centers in your body.  They’re like the batteries of your soul.  When was the last time you replaced the batteries or made sure they were working?  Read my article on chakras and boot them up before you tune in.  Clearing and opening your chakras will clear away any negative emotional residue that might be clinging to you.  And it’s also a signal to your guides that you’re tuning in.  Think of opening your chakras like extending your antenna.

Climb to Greater Heights
Along with raising your vibration, you need to raise your energetic frequency.  This means sloughing off the daily worries and focusing your mind on connecting with the beings who are going to send you the information you need to help you on your path.  So once you’ve gotten to a deep meditative place and opened your chakras, raise your frequency.  I do this by climbing a staircase in my mind.  I count as I go and continue to do deep breathing.  Counting keeps you from thinking about what you’re going to have for dinner, the bills you need to pay, and the other flotsam and jetsam that invade your mind when you meditate.

Find Your Guides
You don’t want information from just anyone.  That would be dangerous.  If you’re using clairvoyance to do a reading for someone else, you’ll want to connect with your conduit guide (mine is named Bob), so he or she can help you tune in to other people’s spirit guides.  If you’re using your clairvoyance to get information about your own path, just connect with your own spirit guides.  If you haven’t done that yet, get on it.  It’s really important to connect with higher vibrational beings before you open yourself to receiving an energetic download that could affect your life.

Learn to Interpret the Information
Receiving images isn’t that difficult, relatively speaking.  You’ve been using your mind’s eye for years.  Interpreting what you get is what’s difficult.  We’re always receiving information; from other people, from fear, from guides, from expectations and memory.  When you’re receiving information from a spirit guide or other high vibrational being, sometimes they send metaphors.  Symbols.  You have to figure out what they mean, just like you would in a dream.  This takes practice, but it’s critical if you want to get accurate information for yourself or others.

Practice
If you’re planning to use your clairvoyance to do readings for others, nothing takes the place of practice.  I did more than 100 readings with people to make sure I was interpreting the energetic downloads properly.  It wasn’t until I recognized the difference between my own stuff and stuff coming from the guides that I went professional.  Keep practicing until you’re sure when you’re connecting and when you’re not. 

If you’re using clairvoyance for yourself, you still need to practice.  Apply the information you get and see if it worked out the way you expected.  In other words, test the information on yourself.  If you got it wrong, it could be a problem receiving the info or a problem interpreting it. Keep practicing.

Trust
I can’t stress this enough.  You must learn to trust your guides and the information coming through.  I can’t tell you how many times in the beginning I got information that didn’t make any sense to me, but which made perfect sense to the person I was reading for.  One time during a reading I got an image of a woman putting out a place setting (plate, fork, knife, napkin, glass, etc.) but in the image she put the knife and fork on the wrong sides and her boss yelled at her.  So I’m getting ready to interpret the image and she tells me it doesn’t need interpretation.  Turns out she was a set decorator and just a few days prior to the reading she actually did set a place and put the knife and fork on the wrong sides and her boss yelled at her. 

In another reading I saw my client as a 6-year-old girl on a bicycle and she ran into a tree, knocked her tooth out and brought it home to show her mom.  Again I thought it was a metaphor, but she told me that really did happen to her when she was 6.  So I learned that sometimes the images I get are not metaphors at all.  It takes time and experience to know the difference.

***

We all have psychic abilities.  Not everyone develops them.  Although the discussion above dealt with clairvoyance, it’s very similar with clairaudience, clairsentience, and claircognizance, or really any psychic tool.  Give your abilities the time and attention they deserve, and before you know it, you’ll have an excellent tool you can use to make your life and the lives of others even better!

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

Answer:  My mom and I were talking on the phone one day about death and whether we wanted to be buried or cremated.  She said she was afraid to be cremated because she doesn’t want to feel the burning pain.  I was sort of surprised she would even think that was possible.  Was she under the mistaken belief that when you die you just sit around in your body, conscious and bored in your coffin?  Trapped in your now lifeless shell?

If anyone else is under the impression that you will feel anything that happens to your body once you leave it, rest assured that once you die, the connection is severed and your body becomes a shell, incapable of registering pain.  So whether you are cremated, autopsied, or buried in a coffin, don’t be afraid that you will feel any of it.

When you die, the astral cord that has connected and tethered you to your body during your life gets severed.  Once that happens, you aren’t getting back into your body!  All of your consciousness is in your spirit, your soul, your ghost-like form.  You will look at your body the way a peanut might look at its shell, “Thanks for sheltering me, but you can go now.”  The body is just the organic casing for the peanutty goodness that is your essence.

Energetically speaking, however, how long do you stay attached to the body before you cross over?  If you die unexpectedly, like from an accident or murder, you will probably hang around your body for a while;  anywhere from 20 minutes to several days.  Often people who die suddenly don’t figure it out right away or resist accepting that they have died, so they hover around their body trying to make sense of their current situation.  Once the body is cremated, autopsied or buried these people usually get the idea that there is no going back and they begin to move on, cross over, look for the light, or try to remain earthbound if that’s important to them (as is often the case with people who have unfinished urgent business).

Cremation is safe for your soul.  (Hmm, that would make a good bumper sticker).  However, I do think it’s a good idea to wait 3 or 4 days after a person dies before you dispose of the body.  That seems sensible to me.  It gives the living time to adjust, and it gives the dead time to let go.  Death can be somewhat traumatic for people who weren’t ready for it.

I told my mom I wanted to be cremated so I didn’t take up unnecessary space on some otherwise beautiful land.  A nice roaring funeral pyre in the forest with some Celtic music playing in the back would be welcome too.  How would you like to honor your shell for its lifetime of service?

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

Answer:  Most of the characters in your dreams are going to be constructs of your own subconscious mind.  There will be no other consciousness in your dream except you, so anyone else you see there is just a manifestation of your subconscious.

However, dreams are an excellent place to meet up with other conscious beings including your higher self, your spirit guides, angels, ascended masters, celestial beings, and even deceased relatives. You could also meet up with your friends in a dream, but this is extraordinarily rare as it is extremely difficult to sync up your dreams and brainwaves, and most people lack the skills necessary to share dreams with other sleeping people.

In my own experience, I have met up with deceased relatives who have passed on some information to me.  I’ve met with my spirit guides and higher self.  And I’ve experienced a shared dream (where me and a friend were both having the same dream on the same night and seeing the dream from our own perspectives) a few times with a few select people under some very unusual circumstances.  Like I said, that’s really rare.

If you are not lucid in your dream, chances are excellent that anyone else in there is a construct of your subconscious mind.  If you’re not lucid and there is another conscious being in your dream, you’ll never know it.

On a few occasions my dreams have also been invaded by conscious entities that were not friendly.  I repeat, not friendly!  I got the heck out of there as fast as I could.  They were crafty and well versed in the art of energy siphoning. If this paragraph causes you to back up, freak out, or decide I’m nuts, then you haven’t been experimenting enough on the dream plane.  Not that you necessarily should, mind you, but for those in the advanced class I wanted to mention it.

The dream plane is an in-between place.  Think of it like a launching pad to go exploring in many different directions.  Be mindful of who is in there with you.

Now, all that said, some people report having intense conversations with me in their dreams and people want to know if it’s my higher self they’re having the conversation with.  That is possible.  You could be having a dream with your friend in it and you feel like they are really there, but if your friend doesn’t remember the experience then you were probably with their higher self.  It depends on the situation and the dream and how lucid you were and how conscious the other person seemed, but it is possible to communicate with the higher self of a friend of yours.

Bottom line is this:  If you’re in a dream and you’re communicating with someone, it’s either a product of your subconscious mind, or you’re really communicating with them but if so they’ll remember the same dream the next day, or it’s their higher self.  Without being in the dream with you it would be hard for me to say which of the three you’re experiencing.  The clarity of the dream and communication and your level of lucidity are the best indicators of the reality of the conscious mind in there with you.  The only reliable way to know if it was really a friend is if he tells you the same dream the next day.

In the meantime, dream responsibly.  Learn lucid dreaming.  Stay conscious.  Be alert.  And don’t let unfriendlies suck at your energy.

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

Answer:  The way you’re using the term “at rest” to me means the spirit has crossed over fully, has accepted the light, has gone through their life review, come to terms with their deeds, and is now kicking back with a brewsky on the other side (metaphorically speaking of course!).   If that’s what you mean by “at rest” then a spirit would not be at rest if any of those components are not fulfilled.

So let’s take each component in order.  First, crossing over fully.  Some spirits hang around the earth plane.  I often see this with people who were murdered or had a sudden, unexpected death through an accident.  They either don’t know they’re dead or they aren’t ready to accept it.  Or they are waiting for their killer to be brought to justice, or they are still very attached to their earthly life and can’t let it go.  They have not crossed over yet and are earthbound.  This spirit would not be at rest.

Now let’s take the case of a spirit who is ready to let go of their earthly existence but fears judgment.  These people resist the light because they fear they will be sent to Hell or that there is some horrible punishment coming up.  They end up stuck between earth and the ether, feeding off the energy of the living to resist the light.  They’re not waiting for justice like in the previous case, they’re not waiting for some event to take place, they have detached from their earthly life but don’t want to go into the light.  They are not at rest either.  Not by a longshot.

Next are the people who detach from their earthly life and go into the light, sometimes with great eagerness and sometimes a little hesitantly.  They get to their life review and are horrified by the pain they’ve caused others.  They can get stuck in a situation where they replay events over and over again for whatever reason: to endure the pain they caused others, to understand their choices better, to make different choices, etc.  Sometimes spirits can spend a lot of time here, unnecessarily, but we all let go at our own pace.  There are spirits and angels there helping you process it all and encouraging you to forgive and move on.  A spirit in this place is “not at rest yet” but is definitely on their way.

And lastly, there are those who cross over, completely severing their attachment to this earthly life, have their life review, process it all and accept it, and move forward into the welcoming embrace of the afterlife and all their dearly departed loved ones (and animal companions!).  These spirits are very much at rest.  That doesn’t mean they don’t care about loved ones here on Earth.  They tune in periodically to see what’s up, but they’re also creating a new experience on the other side that isn’t part of their old incarnated human life.

I hope at this point you’re not thinking, “Dear God!  I don’t want to be hanging around in a disembodied state totally afraid of the light!  And what if I don’t pass my life review and decide to punish myself?  Gack!”  The vast majority of spirits cross over just fine, have a lovely life review over tea and pastries, and make it to the other side in time for the party.  Don’t worry.  Learn to forgive yourself now so when you see what you’ve done to others during your life review you’ll have understanding instead of regret.  But like I said, most people cross over just fine and are guided through their life review by compassionate and understanding beings.

So how do you know what state your dearly departed are in?  A medium would know what state a spirit was in when she tuned in to them.  A person without the ability to tune in to deceased energy would have a hard time knowing what state a particular spirit is in.  However, you can often pick up clues from dreams.  Dreams are a place/plane where incarnated individuals such as yourself can hook up with reasonable accuracy and clarity with other beings, including deceased relatives and friends.  Are you dreaming about the individual and if so, is he coming to you and telling you he’s just fine or do you see him suffering? 

If you ever encounter a spirit that you believe is earth-bound or suffering in some way or resisting the light, you can communicate with them energetically and try to help them cross over and accept the light.  Talk to them.  Meditate to get yourself into a higher vibration.  Hold an object they used to own which will help you zero in on their energy (sometimes).  Encourage them to go into the light and not to fear judgment.  Encourage them to release their fear.  Help them understand that nothing bad will happen to them in the light no matter what they’ve done on earth.  Sometimes a spirit sticks around when people are heavily grieving.  Let such a spirit know that you’ll be okay without them so they will move on.  It’s not healthy to be earthbound.  If they’re waiting for justice to be served (and I’ve encountered people who are still waiting 60 years later!) help them detach from the tangled web of karma and move on, knowing their killer will not truly get away with anything.

It sucks to be stuck here waiting for justice.  It sucks to put yourself in a self-imposed hell and avoid the loving light of the divine.  Don’t do it!  Educate yourself now so that when you get to the other side you can fly right through.  Death is a time for rest and rebirth, for reconnecting with Source, not for punishment and fear.  Rest easy I say.

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

Receiving communication from the other side is a gift, in my opinion, however you must be the one who decides when that communication takes place.  Being too open is like leaving your front door unlocked and ajar; the deceased are going to push their energy at you whenever they see you can get a message to a living loved one. 

When I first started my work as a medium, I was open all the time.  Once I was chatting with the check out girl at a clothing store and her deceased grandmother started going on about how her granddaughter was going to give birth to a girl and name it after her.   At dinner one night with a couple, I saw the woman’s deceased father standing behind her and he had a lot to say about his death and his children.  Back then I blurted out everything as it came to me.  But one day I got information for a woman who didn’t want to hear from her deceased abusive husband.  I realized that not everyone is open to this sort of communication, so I stopped doing “drive by” readings.

The way I stopped receiving unwanted communication when I wasn’t working was thanks to my conduit guide Bob.  Bob is the guide who acts like a bouncer.  The only way a spirit can communicate with me now is if Bob lets him through.  On some occasions a strong and powerful spirit will get my attention when I’m not working, but it’s usually pretty important or urgent or Bob wouldn’t have let them through. 

If you don’t have a conduit guide, and I highly suggest you have one if you are a medium, then you’ll need to work on tuning out the constant influx of information.  You’ve got to turn off the psychic radio when you’re not working or wanting the information.  You can do this by pulling your chakras in tighter.  One of the reasons you’re getting so much information all the time is probably because your chakras are open too wide.  Your energy is brushing up against people’s auras and you’re getting an instant download about that person’s life.  Keeping your chakras open that wide can have unwanted side effects, as you can inadvertently take on the negative emotions of another person.

Also, stop using your psychic radio like a police scanner.  Most people new to psychic abilities scan every channel all the time.  They do this unconsciously.  This is one reason why negative and lower vibrational beings can bug you; you’re tuned in to their channel.  You’re allowing your “radio dial” to be pulled to a lower channel just because something is being broadcast.  Learn to be discerning. 

Learn to tune in only when asked or when the situation is urgent or important.  Get with a conduit guide who will agree to filter out the riff raff so you get communication when you want with who you want.  Pull in your chakras so you’re not empathically detecting every little issue with people you pass on the street.

If you do receive communication you feel is really important, you’ll have to learn to be very sensitive to how you pass on the information.  Some people think mediums work for the Devil, so if you blurt out your information, instead of being grateful you may get someone making the sign of the cross at you. If I’m with someone who knows I’m a medium, I will usually say, “Oh I seem to be in contact with someone who would really like to pass on a message to you.  Would you like to hear it?”  I’ve actually had people politely decline, but most of the time they are eager to hear the information.  If I’m with someone who does not know me and does not know I’m a medium, I usually keep my mouth shut, plus these situations don’t come up so much now that I have Bob standing guard.

Psychic work can be energetically draining, and mediumship more so.  You’ve got to guard your own energy.  To the other side, you’re walking around with a little light above your head that conveys, “I’m on and I can hear you.”  The deceased will flock to you if you you’re not careful so that you will pass on messages to their living loved ones.  You must be the one who decides what information gets through.  If you don’t control the information and when it comes through, it can overwhelm  you and cause you to become very unbalanced.   When this happens a lot of psychics try to turn off their abilities.  Instead I simply recommend becoming the commander in chief of your ability.  Take responsibility for the gift, and learn how to use it properly.

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

Answer:  When I was a teenager, I used to astral project 3-4 times per week.  Once I learned how to do it, I did it as much as possible.  I had a lot of fun being Erin the Astral Demon Slayer, though my friends and I did attract some unwanted attention.  That was one of the reasons I tried to shut down my paranormal abilities, because I was going down what felt like a pretty dark road; always looking out for baddies, not focusing on my schoolwork, and my friends were starting to get a little psychotic and depressed.  I put a kibosh on my astral activities sometime in college.

As the rigors of life and independence set in, I had to focus most of my energy on my daytime activities.  Contributing to keeping a roof over our heads and taking care of two children were full time jobs that left little time for astral travels.  I never gave up the lucid dreaming though.  That I can still do whenever I want.  Recently I wanted to see if I could still astral project.  I woke up at 4am one morning and pulled myself into my astral vehicle (tingles and buzzing and all).  It was tougher than when I was a teenager, but I could still do it.  I wasn’t sure where to go and what to do though, so I just flew around the house looking in on the kids in their rooms.  Nothing special really.  But I was glad I could still do it.  It was like exercising a rusty muscle.

The truth is, the astral plane doesn’t hold much interest for me.  I do still occasionally have to chase off a curious low vibrational being, especially when Steve accidentally opens a door.  My astral sword is still there, but it’s hanging over the mantel.  I’ll have to leave the astral demon slaying to a younger crowd.

I spend more of my energy communicating with the higher vibrational beings now, usually during the daytime, and still in my dreams of course.  It’s a shift I’m very happy with.  Astral projection was fun, and ganking a demon was a kick, but my focus these days is on shifting the planet to love, peace, and harmony.  So I’m playing on a different field now. 

People email me a lot asking how to astral project, and some of them believe they are really missing out on something if they can’t.  Honestly, you never need to experience an astral projection in order to have a great spiritual life.  However, astral projection is what helped me realize that our bodies are just shells and that our spirits do continue on without them.  I’m unafraid of dying partly because I know what it’s like to be disembodied and retain my full consciousness.  So if that’s important to you, keep at it.

I may never be in a full on battle with an astral demon again, but I’m keeping the sword around just in case.

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

Answer:  No it doesn’t mean he’s going to die.  If dreaming about future death was a sure sign of impending doom I’d have been dead at 16, 18, 24, and 26, and the apocolypse would have happened 20 times by now.  I’m not saying death dreams couldn’t be prophetic, just that it’s not likely.  It may sometimes seem as if the universe has a sick sense of humor, but notifying people of their own demise is not something the universe messes around with.  That would be cruel.

It’s hard to tell a prophetic dream from a fear dream sometimes.  I’ve had dreams where I’ve received a warning about something negative that was going to happen to me and it did in fact come true.  And I’ve had tons of dreams about visiting the future or witnessing my own death or the death of a loved one that haven’t come true at all.  It is certainly unnerving when you dream something horrible and it feels like a premonition.

So why do these dreams come to us if they’re not premonitions?  I think there are several possibilities.  First, maybe you’re getting information about a possible future to warn you to take different action to avoid the outcome shown to you.  Or perhaps you’re seeing an alternate reality where you do in fact die the way the dream shows you that you did.  Maybe it’s just a fear dream.  Maybe it’s just symbolic and needs interpreting.  The trick is not to let a death dream cause you to fear death, because then you’re giving your power to something outside yourself that you have no control over, and that can send you into a tailspin where you never leave the house.

When Steve and I were in New York in 2007 I had a dream one night that my son, Kyle, was floating face down in our swimming pool and my parents, who were watching him while we were away, didn’t see him.  In the dream I was screaming to them to notice he was in trouble but they couldn’t hear me.  In the dream I was frantic trying to get to him to help him so he wouldn’t drown and die.  I woke from that dream with my heart pounding and total fear in my mind.  I felt like something bad was going to happen to Kyle.  It was 6am New York time so it was only 3am back home in Vegas.  I decided to call my father when it was closer to 8am his time and warn him to keep Kyle away from the swimming pool.  But once we got going for the day I forgot to call my dad.  Around noon New York time my father called me and said, “Erin, do you have a doctor nearby?  Kyle was injured at school and they called and asked me to pick him up immediately and take him to a doctor.”  I said, “Oh my God, what happened?”  He said, “The kids were playing on the merry-go-round and Kyle was running alongside it when he tripped, fell, and rolled under the merry-go-round while it basically trampled all over him.  By the time the teachers got to him it was too late.  He apparently has a big bump on his head and a cut.”  Kyle turned out to be okay and recovered pretty quickly.  So…  he didn’t drown, but he was injured.  Was the dream a premonition and if so, why didn’t it show me him next to a merry-go-round?  I don’t know.

You can play the doom game if you want, but ultimately you don’t want dreams to rob you of your power and authority over your own life.  So my advice is to take them with a grain of salt.  If you dream that at 2pm you’re going to electrocute yourself in the bathtub, don’t get in the bathtub at 2pm.  Why tempt fate?  But unless the universe is going to give you a signed, notarized, detailed account of your fate, don’t worry about your future.  Live in the present.

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

Answer:  When I was a teenager a lot of scary beings used to visit me.  I was able to take control of the situation and open up a can of astral whoop ass on them, but I don’t recommend that approach for most people.

In my twenties I shut down my psychic abilities as best I could so I could get away from that life.  That worked pretty well for a while.  When I met Steve, though, he encouraged me to reopen that part of myself and continue exploring.  I found that when I opened up to the psychic realm as an adult, it wasn’t scary anymore.  This was due in large part to the fact that my vibration had changed.  I was no longer susceptible to fear.  I was vibrating a lot closer to love, so those darker entities just didn’t bother me.  We were not on the same channel anymore.

But like you, I was always afraid that ghosts or spirits would try to get my attention by appearing in my bedroom at night, in the dark, and scare me.  I could easily see having a heart attack if that happened!  When I started to see I had an ability that could help others, though, I knew I had to somehow get over my fear.

That’s when the tv show, Ghost Whisperer, came to my rescue.  In this show the main character, Melinda Gordon, is a medium who regularly sees and talks to spirits.  When they appear to her, they almost always startle her, but she is never afraid of them.  That’s when I realized that being startled is different than being afraid.  I decided that if I had to, I could live with being startled.  So I made a deal with my guides, telling them I would open myself back up to these psychic abilities I’d had practically my whole life, as long as they knew I didn’t want to see dead people in my room in the middle of the night.  And I told them if seeing the spirits in my room at night was the only way to help them, I would learn to deal with it.

As it turns out, I needn’t have worried.  I have a conduit guide named Bob that prevents spirits from presenting to me unless I’m working.  Only three times in the last three years have I had a spirit present to me when I wasn’t officially working.  All three came in very gently with me though, and all three came at night.  When you think about it, why would they want to scare me?  If I’m scared, I’m not going to be able to help them.

I did do a reading once where a spirit appeared to me in my White Room (the mental construct I go to when I do readings) and she nearly gave me a heart attack.  She had shot herself in the face and showed me the whole image.  And she was standing right over me.  It took me a moment to collect myself and I was quite startled.  She wasn’t trying to frighten me, she was just in an intense situation and probably didn’t know that I would react so strongly to her grisly visage. 

So my advice is to get a clear connection with your guides and tell them what you are and are not willing to tolerate.  Also, make sure you vibrate at a reasonably high frequency normally.  If you’re depressed, angry, sad, ashamed, or guilty you might attract lower vibrational beings when you open yourself up.  And lastly, decide in advance that if a spirit does show up, you’ll only be startled and not afraid.  They aren’t there to hurt you.   They’re there to reach out for your help.  If you have this gift, think of all the good you can do with it.  Don’t let a little fear stop you.

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

Answer:  More than one person has asked me this question recently, and in light of the recent deaths of so many celebrities (David Carradine, Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, and Michael Jackson) I figure it’s a good time to answer it.

Technically, the answer is yes.  You can interact with anyone on the other side as long as you both are willing.  At that point you will both be energy, not identity, and it won’t be as thrilling or exciting as you’re probably imagining it now. 

Remember that fame is something that happens here on Earth.  It’s not like Elvis is entertaining in the ether, performing 5 sold out shows per week.  His energy is there, sure, and you could probably even engage with him in some type of dialogue.  But once you arrive there  you will remember that Elvis is just an aspect of God consciousness, as you are, and the lure of celebrity will be gone.  What is left are our experiences, consciousness, and growth, not our bank accounts, notoriety, or fame.

There are some celebrities who may not have fully crossed over, though.  People who were murdered or committed suicide, or who really resist dying, could still be lingering around with their celebrity identities intact.  In those cases, when you died, you’d probably breeze right past them and not encounter them at all.  But these celebrities could still be communicated with by a psychic medium, and the celebrity would retain their identity, even though it would be healthier for them to let it go and cross over.

Remember that we live many lives.  You might get back to the ether and discover you were Cleopatra in a previous life, or Marilyn Monroe or Albert Einstein.  Wouldn’t that be a kick?  What if you’re the celebrity or famous person everyone wants to connect with and you don’t even remember who you were?  In the ether we are identified by our wisdom and our level of consciousness, not our record sales on Earth.

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

And away we go…

Can I choose right now who I want to be in my next life?
You can choose right now, but that’s like asking a 5 year old what he wants to be when he grows up.  Experiences and how your life ends will likely lead you to make a different choice later than you would now.  Live the life you’ve got, and worry about the next one when you’re dead.

Will the people I love in this life be with me in my next life?
Some of them may choose to incarnate at the same time as you, but that doesn’t guarantee you will meet up with them.  Remember, once you incarnate you have free will.  If you arrange it, you can probably get your guides to nudge you in their direction.  Also remember that they have their own lessons to learn, so don’t get too attached to having a similar family structure with the same souls in another life.

I cannot see myself coming back as a man (I am a woman now).  Can I just be a woman each time?
No, you’re going to be all kinds of people.  That’s part of learning.  When you get back to the ether  you’ll remember the lives you’ve had as a man.  And it won’t terrify you as much as it seems to right now.

Do souls reincarnate on other planets as other species besides humans?
I don’t have a lot of knowledge or experience in this area.  I know there are a lot of people who do believe we can reincarnate as something other than humans.  When it comes down to it, I don’t see why not, but I haven’t personally encountered someone who has, and I have no memories of being what we would term an alien.  So I’m waiting for more information or experience on that one.

Why would someone incarnate with a mental disability?  It’s just a burden on their caretakers.  What could they possibly learn with a mental disability?
Maybe they’re here to teach compassion.  Sometimes souls incarnate knowing their life is going to be physically or mentally tough from the outset.  They do this because they know life is temporary, but learning, love, and compassion are eternal.  They are worthy of our deepest respect.

Is it possible to be in a location and sense something terrible happened there without knowing exactly what it is?
Absolutely.  I feel odd at Hoover Dam, and I felt awful at Ground Zero in New York.  Events, deaths, murders, etc. can leave an emotional residue that is easily picked up by those who are attuned to those channels.

Do you believe vampires are real?  I mean, besides the astral vampire you saw in that experience.
I haven’t met a “real” flesh and blood vampire here.  I know there are people who behave and dress like vampires, but I have never met what I would understand as a vampire.  If I do, I hope he’s hot like Angel.

Do twins share one higher self?  Are they part of one soul that has split?
I am a twin myself and I do not feel like my sister and I share a higher self.  Mine feels very distinct from hers.  Then again, we are all connected further up the chain.  But at the point you are asking about, no, it’s not like one soul splits into two to double their experiences.

Do you know of any video games that raise the player’s vibration?
That’s a great question.  I know Steve was always yapping on about the Ultima games.  He liked them.  I’m sure someone has come up with something that challenges the players and holds them to a high moral code.  If you are reading this and know of such a game, please share it in the forums.

How should you choose a career option when there are many you’ve identified as awesome for yourself?
It’s great to have so many options.  Congratulations on that.  If it were me, I would imagine succeeding in each one and ask my future self which one she would be most excited about accomplishing/doing.   So imagine you’re looking back through time and see which one would thrill you the most if you were succeeding at it in the way you want.

How do you get negative energy to buzz off, and how do you keep it away?
Figure out what feeds the negative energy and stop serving it to them.  If they can’t get a tasty meal, they’ll bark up someone else’s tree.  Be loving, kind, and joyous.  They don’t like that.

Are suicides ever pre-planned before you incarnate?
I don’t believe so, no.  By definition you are choosing to end your life before dying naturally (or by the free will of another’s actions, like murder or accident).  Setting yourself up to suffer physically or mentally is often pre-planned.  But you go into it with full knowledge of why you’re setting yourself up to be in that condition.  It’s just too bad you forget why you did it.

I am a writer, and often it feels like my characters are real people that I’m talking to in my head.  They seem to have a life of their own.  Is this possible?
Many writers report that their characters introduced themselves to them one day.  I believe a lot of writers are getting material channeled to them from their guides, from muses, from other beings, or even angels.   In fact, I personally think J.K. Rowling got an entire download when she tapped in to Harry Potter.  Some of my best blog entries were written by my guides.  I had very little to do with them.  I feel so used.

Is it possible to switch from being an introvert to an extrovert?
Yes, absolutely.  I know people who have done it *cough* Steve *cough*.  I’m certain there are books and articles online that discuss how to do it.  That’s a relatively easy behavior to change.

Is it possible that my spirits guides are also spirit guides for other people who are currently incarnated?
Yes.  Some guides will pop in and out of your life, and while they’re popped out of yours, they’re popped in to someone else’s.  But it takes a great commitment to guide an incarnated soul.  If the guide is helping multiple people he or she is qualified to be doing so.

What exactly is the ether that you refer to so often?
Ether is the word I use to describe the state or place I was in before I incarnated and where I will return to when I’m done with this life.  Some people might refer to it as Heaven, some as the 4th dimension, and I’m sure there are dozens of other names for Home.

That’s it for now.  Thanks for all the questions.  Feels good to knock a few of those out the door.

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

Answer:  You are greeted on the other side by Love.  You can expect to see angels, family, friends, and even your pets.  During readings I sometimes pick up on the energy of deceased pets as well as relatives and friends.  Pets do wait for us on the other side when there was a close, loving attachment on this side. 

Sometimes people ask if they will meet up with their abusive parent on the other side.  You may or may not.  It’s not like a voice comes up on a loud speaker and says, “Will the relatives of Joe Smith please meet Joe at the pearly gates.  Joe Smith.  All relatives of Joe Smith please report to the pearly gates now please.  He’s on his way!”  They will be drawn to your side by the ties of love when you cross over. 

Sometimes people have a religious experience when they cross over, meeting up with God or Jesus or whomever they believe will greet them.  Sometimes you’re with an angel who helps you understand what happened to you, as sometimes people aren’t aware that they’re dead. 

If you read accounts of near-death experiences, you’ll see that often people are told by a deceased relative that it’s not their time to die.  You’ll also read accounts of people who are greeted by pets, family, and friends on the other side. 

Love never dies.  You will see your loved ones again on the other side. 

The only caveat to this is if you send yourself to Hell and disconnect from the Light.  And on some occasions I’ve seen relatives who have cut the cords between them and their earthly families for whatever reason, and I would not expect to see them when you cross over.

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

Answer:  I get this question periodically so I figured it was a good time to answer it publicly. 

I discourage couples from getting a reading together where they are on the phone at the same time.  Experience has shown me that when spirit guides want to bring up something related to the marriage that sometimes the couple clams up their energy because they are afraid the guides are about to reveal something they don’t want their partner to know.  It can get uncomfortable real fast.  And when a person chokes off their energy like that, I can sometimes lose the connection to their guides.

Even when people don’t think there is a relationship problem, sometimes the guides need to tell you something that you need to know about the relationship or the partner, etc.  Imagine what would happen if you had a controlling guy in a relationship with a submissive woman and they were both on the phone.  The guides may need to talk to the woman about developing her personal power so she can get up the nerve to leave the guy or make serious changes in the relationship, but if the guides bring that up while the controlling guy is on the phone, she’s going to be in real trouble when the call is ended.

Or what happens if one partner is hiding debt from the other and the guides want to provide counsel on how to get out of debt?

The other issue that comes up is personal privacy.  Sometimes the guides will bring up issues from a person’s past, such as sexual abuse, because they need to talk to the sitter about it.  It’s possible the sitter’s spouse isn’t even aware of their partner’s previous sexual abuse.  How fun would that be for it to come out during a reading?  Because I am an intuitive counselor, personal issues do come up in readings sometimes, but the guides only bring them up if it will have a direct bearing on the challenges my sitter is facing, and where the resolution of those challenges will help them on their life path.

On rare occasions I will let a couple split their 30 minute reading into 2 15-minute readings, but that doesn’t really give us enough time to cover all aspects of a person’s life, and it doesn’t leave time for many follow up questions.  It’s sort of like asking a doctor to open you up, remove half your tumor, and then sew you up again.  While I’ve got you “open” so to speak, I want to finish up in there before I sew you back up.

Most people take notes during their reading, or record their reading with me, and then share what they want to share with their partner later.  It allows them to choose what they will share and what they want to keep private.  Readings are very personal and often times emotional, so think long and hard before you bring your partner in with you.

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

Answer:  I believe we all start out with guides who are well suited to our plans and goals.  Over time, based on decisions you make and the paths you choose, new guides come in and old guides go out.

If you align yourself with darkness, you will attract guides who are more aligned with that as well.  I wouldn’t say they are positive or negative though.  That implies a judgment.  If you decide you want to go through life deceiving people or hurting people, you might attract guides who are more suited to helping you make that happen.  If and when you decide to alter your alignment, those guides will leave and new guides will come in. 

I don’t believe guides misguide you.  But it’s possible and perhaps probable that what at first appears to be poor guidance turns out to be quite beneficial for you in the long run.  Do our parents misguide us?  Do people in authority misguide us?  Or are they simply expressing their truth and/or hoping to help you avoid pitfalls they know are coming? 

You can dismiss a guide.  That’s true.  You can fire your guides and ask for new ones.  I don’t recommend you do that unless you are really clear about what you want and you’ve raised your vibration to a point where you know what’s best for you.  Imagine a 3 year old firing his parents because they won’t let him stay up all night.  Don’t do it out of spite or childishness.

You can’t really lose a guide.  You can disconnect yourself from them, but I’ve never encountered a guide who said, “I’ve had it with this guy.  I’m outta here.”  If you lose your guides it’s because you walked away from them.

Now I would say there are negative influences out there, but I wouldn’t call them guides.  If you choose to listen to them and they are leading you down a dark path, you are still responsible for all your choices.

In summary, everyone has guides when they incarnate.  Guides come in and out of your life based on what path you’re walking.  Some guides are with you your entire life and some flit in and out and help you on a more project-like basis.  There are no negative guides, per se, but you can attract the “help” and assistance of those aligned with fear if you so choose. 

In the meantime, be kind to your guides.  Send them love and flowers.  They love you and are there to help you.  Show some gratitude once in a while.

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

Answer:  I get variations of this question a lot.  It’s normal to want contact from people who have recently crossed over.  You want to make sure they’re okay, that they didn’t suffer, and you want to know they are still connected to you.  There are several reasons why you may not hear from them so fast, if ever.

First, you have to be an open conduit.  If someone is calling your cell phone and you’ve got it turned off, whose fault is that?  If you want to receive communication from deceased loved ones you’ll have to be open to it.  That means paying attention to your dreams, watching for signs that were unique to them, and being open to a clairvoyant, clairaudient, or clairsentient message from them.  If you associate your boyfriend with a certain song, maybe you’ll hear it on the radio at the same time you’re already thinking about him.  Maybe you’ll smell gardenias when none are around and you equate this to your grandmother.  In short, maybe communication is there and you’re just not picking up on it.

Second, maybe they want to contact you but can’t.  Reaching the other side isn’t a one way ticket to omniscience.  People don’t suddenly become god-like on the other side.  Some spirits are unable to make contact with the living.  Sometimes they need help.  Other, stronger spirits, can sometimes bring through a deceased relative who can’t come through on their own.  Or your spirit guides can at least relay messages between you two.  Again, you’ll have to watch for communication from many different channels and methods.  Over time a spirit can learn to reach back to the living, which requires altering their frequency, and that isn’t an automatic skill.

Thirdly, maybe they don’t want to communicate with you.  Sometimes when I do readings a bunch of people from one family will come through, but someone will be conspicuously absent.  I am sometimes told that that person has already “moved on” and is no longer feeling an emotional connection with family they left behind.  Sometimes, I get a mother who will talk to my sitter and then leave before the father comes through.  Usually that means they were separated or divorced (or hated each other) while alive, and they are not wanting to come through together.

Fourth, maybe you are blocking the communication with your emotions.  Sometimes when a person dies the people they leave behind are angry.  It’s hard for a spirit to come through anger.  People can inadvertently block communication with a spirit if they’re feeling angry or too upset.  When you settle down you might find the spirit was there all along.

Some people are better able to pick up on deceased energy.  So if you don’t hear from your boyfriend it doesn’t mean he isn’t connected to you.  Give it time, patience and love.  Concentrate on his energy.  Hold a photo or something dear to him.  Ask him to come to you and tell him you will be open to the signs, signals, and synchronicities that work best for him.

Sometimes it can be hard to know if you’re really receiving communication from deceased loved ones or if it’s all in your head.  That’s one reason why going to mediums is excellent because they don’t know anything about you or the deceased person.  So if a medium starts telling you about your first date with the deceased or something equally private, it will give you greater confidence that your loved one is really there on the other side.  I once did a reading for a guy and his grandmother came through. Her first words to him were “Don’t worry.”  That was significant for him because those were apparently the final two words she spoke on her death bed and only he, his father, and his dying grandmother were present to hear it.  But if he had tuned in to her on his own and heard “don’t worry” in his mind, that may not have been enough proof for him to believe he was really communicating with her. 

Even professional mediums can wait months or even years to get definitive communication from their loved ones on the other side.  Which just goes to show that if you’re sitting there waiting by your phone you still may not get a call.  Go live your life, watch for signs and communication, keep sending them love, but try not to be terribly upset if you don’t dream about them right away.  These things take time.

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

Answer:  It takes time, practice, and discernment to know when you’re in contact with your higher self or just your imagination, or even another entity masquerading, as you say, as your higher self.  Until you have a solid grasp on your higher self’s energy and can instantly connect with and recognize it, you’re going to have to go through a process to ensure you’re making a proper connection.  Here are some ways you can make sure you’re connecting with your higher self and not somebody else.  The same is true for your spirit guides as well.

Raise your vibration
What state are you in?  Are you feeling loved, blessed, joyful, and grateful?  Good.  That’s where you want to be ideally when you commune with your higher self.  If you’re feeling fear, anxiety, anger, sadness, shame or guilt, it’s going to be harder to reach the frequency you need to be on to accurately connect with and hear your higher self communicating with you.  You don’t want to end up on a low frequency.  So before you begin, raise your vibration.  Watch a funny movie, tell someone you love them, give a homeless guy some money, go hug your kids, etc.  You don’t have to stay in this state forever, just get there before you connect.

Open your chakras
I really can’t stress enough how important it is to get your energetic body pumping and buzzing with balanced chakral energy.  Without opening your chakras, talking to your higher self is going to be like turning on a radio but pressing the mute button, and wondering why you can’t hear anything.  Boost the volume.  Open and spin your chakras from your root to your crown.  Feel the energy in those areas.  You can still connect with your higher self without opening your chakras, but it’s much harder and you have to listen that much more intently.  Give yourself a fighting chance and open those suckers up.

Find your sacred space
Next you want to create a sacred space where you and your higher self can meet without interruption.  In your mind, imagine going up into space either by climbing a long staircase, going up an escalator, flying, or taking a spaceship.  Doesn’t matter, just feel yourself climbing, going up as high as you can.  I like to walk up a staircase and breathe deeply while doing so.  Count while you climb.  When you feel like you’re high enough (this is you raising your frequency), create a space where you and your higher self can be alone.  It could be a garden, a white room, a living room, a temple, a cloud, etc.  Just enclose it in protective white light and indicate to all who are around that this is a private space for just you and your higher self (or guides).

Practice communicating
Now ask your higher self to come to you in this sacred, private space.  Your higher self will probably appear to look like you but that’s not always the case.  They are just energy – a frequency – and will present to you in a way that will make you most comfortable.  Start with the small stuff.  Offer your higher self a cookie and some tea, make small talk about the weather, just get a feel for each other.  Then ask your higher self what he or she most wants you to know.  Or ask him or her questions.  Have a conversation.  Try not to filter or evaluate the conversation while you’re having it.  Just have it.  You can always run it past your logic later.  The longer you talk the stronger the communication will become.  If you start questioning if you’re really talking to your higher self it might knock you out of this wonderful vibrational state you’ve gotten yourself into; it’s akin to accidentally pulling out the plug on your radio.  Connection over.  So just stay with it until you’ve got the information you want.

When you’re done communicating, thank your higher self, give him or her some love, and exit the sacred space.  Go back down into your body and close your chakras to a nice comfortable level.

Check the results
If you connected with something masquerading as your higher self you’re going to get information that will just feel wrong.  Entities who try to screw with you are seeking to put you in a state of fear so they can feed off of you.  They’ll tell you what to do, how to do it, when to do it and whom to do it with.  They will try to strip you of your power. 

If you’re really communicating with your higher self you’ll get encouragement and advice, and you’ll be challenged to make your own decisions.  You’ll also feel like you’re talking to your true self.  There will be love, not judgment.  There will be compassion and empathy, not anger. 

See what happens when you commune with your higher self.  If you like the results and are feeling more and more empowered, you’re on the right track.

Keep going back
Once you’ve connected with your higher self’s energy, it will be easier to find it again.  Keep going to that sacred space.  There will also come a point where you can access your higher self’s energy even if you’re feeling sad or scared because you’ll know what he or she feels like and can discern their true energy from others masquerading as your higher self.  You’ll get to a point where you can talk to your higher self in line at the grocery store, on a date, or on the phone with your mother. 

Your higher self wants to be known to you.  He or she is there to help guide you and keep you on track.  Your higher self is your heart, mind, and moral compass.  Get to know him or her and you’ll know yourself much better. 

Here’s to the beginning of a beautiful, empowering relationship!

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.