Answer: It can be super frustrating to desire to connect with a specific deceased relative and they never seem to show up to the party.

I recall reading for a gal and her dad was coming through really strongly. He told me his name, gave her some validation, and we were off and running. My client said, “Yeah, that’s my dad. He comes to every reading. He’s around all the time.” Meanwhile, she was frustrated because she also wanted to hear from her mother who never seemed to come through.

Why do some spirits always show up and others never come? There could be several reasons.

First, the deceased person may not want to come through. For whatever reason, they may simply not desire to communicate. That doesn’t mean they hate you. That doesn’t mean they can’t come through. That doesn’t mean they aren’t watching over you. Perhaps they don’t want to interfere in the course of your life. Perhaps they trust that you can get along without their guidance or interruption.

Second, the deceased person may not be able to come through. Deceased people don’t get to the other side suddenly able to speak energetically to a living person. It takes energy and finesse to communicate with the living. Your deceased loved one may not have figured it out yet. Give them time.

Third, the deceased may have disconnected. Some people cross over and are fully engaged with their new existence in the ether. They disconnect their energy from their old life and are simply done. They turn their attention in an entirely new direction. Don’t be insulted. You’ll understand when you reach the ether yourself that sometimes you stay emotionally connected with the living and sometimes you don’t.

Fourth, the deceased may be there but no one is hearing them. Sometimes the dead are jumping up and down around us, trying to get our attention, but we don’t detect them. It’s not easy. If it was easy, everyone would be doing it. Sometimes the medium is unable to get the right frequency. Sometimes the dead person is not transmitting in a way that the medium can pick up. If the medium is very clairsentient but the dead person is transmitting in a clairvoyant way, then the medium may be unable to detect the presence of the dead person. Keep trying with different mediums, or keep trying on your own.

I know it can feel very sad if you’re trying to get closure or reconnect with a loved one and they don’t seem to be there, but you don’t want to expend so much energy trying to communicate with a deceased loved one that you stop living your own life. This is why it’s vitally important to tell your loved ones how much you love them while they are still here.

In the meantime, send love to your dearly departed. They will receive it. Take comfort in knowing they are alright and that you’ll see them again when you reach the other side.

© 2006-2011 by Erin Pavlina.

Related posts:

1. How can I get a deceased loved one to communicate with me?
2. Can I contact a deceased relative on my own?
3. When do deceased people slough off their personas?
4. Did my deceased friend come to visit me in my dream or not?
5. Do deceased couples stay together on the other side?
6. Why hasn’t my deceased boyfriend contacted me?
7. When You Should Consult a Medium

Answer: In my best Morpheus voice, “Do you think that’s air you’re breathing? Hmm.” Time does not exist over there the way it does over here. Likewise, beings of the caliber you’re talking about can absolutely put their consciousness in more than one place at the same time.

It would be difficult to explain or understand how this works from our current physicality/density, but trust me, angels and other beings are more than capable of interacting with and assisting throngs of people at the same time.

Like I’ve mentioned in other posts, this life experience you’re having is more illusion than real. And the people you see wandering around the streets, are more you than not you. What’s really awesome is that you have unlimited access to anything and everything because you are All.

Most people spend their entire lives in a state of disconnection from their Source, but luckily we are still connected even when we forget that connection.

© 2006-2011 by Erin Pavlina.

Related posts:

1. How can we attract the good spirits without attracting the bad?
2. Can you pull people out of their bodies astrally?
3. What do spirits do all day in the ether?
4. Can negative entities masquerade as spirit guides?
5. Can real people appear in your dreams?
6. Why Do Some Spirits Stay Earthbound?
7. Do Dead People Watch You Masturbate?

Answer: I don’t know anything about DNA activation. But I can give you a general answer about how to determine if something is legitimate.

First, the reviews are helpful. If you trust the reviews posted on someone’s site, that’s a good start.

Second, I would try to find someone who has had the procedure done and get a personal testimonial from them, ask them questions, etc. Try to find at least 3 people.

Third, make sure it’s something you really want to get. Make sure the outcome is something you are really seeking. Some people go to psychics for a mediumship reading. Bad idea. Go to someone who specializes in what you need done.

Fourth, talk to the practitioner, ask your questions and share your concerns or if the person is too busy, look for a FAQ on their site.

Fifth, ask your gut. Does the person seem legit? Does their website look professional? Do they have any certifications or are they accredited? Have they written a book?

And lastly, make sure that after the procedure you’re going to actually notice or feel a difference. You don’t want to buy snake oil. Is there some measureable way to determine if you got what you paid for?

Good luck!

© 2006-2011 by Erin Pavlina.

Related posts:

1. Can real people appear in your dreams?
2. Ask Erin
3. Are dreams about deceased loved ones real?
4. Ask Erin: Are ouija boards real?
5. Ask Erin: If psychic phenomenon is real, why can’t it be proven?
6. How Can Psychics Reach Deceased Relatives Who Have Reincarnated?
7. What do you think of psychics who use tarot cards?

Answer: If a deceased person is coming to you in your dream and showing you what really happened to them the day they passed away you should pay careful attention, as it could very well be true.

First you need to determine if you are really having communication with a deceased loved one.

Next, does their version seem plausible? If so, you’re probably get correct information.

Lastly, you may need to act on the information you get. Especially if the person was murdered or if there were extenuating circumstances. Sometimes spirits reveal they committed suicide when it really seemed like an accident. And sometimes the reverse is true.

Spirits who are not at rest or who have unfinished business or who are seeking justice will often send dreams to their loved ones in an attempt to notify them of the truth. So definitely pay attention and take those dreams seriously.

I’ve had several personal experiences and professional experiences where new information came through that turned out to be correct once tracked down and investigated. So it’s definitely possible, and in many cases, likely.

© 2006-2011 by Erin Pavlina.

Related posts:

1. Did my deceased friend come to visit me in my dream or not?
2. Do the dead miss us?
3. Enhancing Dream Recall
4. Q&A on the Dead and the Afterlife
5. Can we learn new things in a lucid dream?
6. Can I enter a friend’s dream to help him?
7. Can Dead People Negatively Affect Your Life?

Answer: Technically you can, but I don’t recommend it.

First, a Ouija board is just a piece of wood with preprinted lettering on it. By itself, it’s not a problem. But Ouija board use can become a problem if you open a door and let the flies in while you’re trying to let in your guides.

Negative and low vibrational spirits often use a Ouija board to communicate messages designed to put you in a place of fear. And often people don’t realize they are being lied to by these spirits. So I would urge extreme caution before using the Ouija board to talk to your guides.

Try meditation or lucid dreaming. You can try automatic writing as well. Find your dominant intuitive modality and then use it to connect to your guides.

If you must use a Ouija board, make sure you are in a nice high vibration before using it. Make sure you protect yourself energetically, ask for ONLY your guides to attend you, and ask the angels to protect your session. Also do not use the Ouija board alone. Make sure someone else is using it with you, and that they too are at a high vibration.

It takes a lot of effort for a spirit to move the planchette around on the Ouija board. So start out by asking simple yes-no questions before you ask it to spell out entire paragraphs. The Ouija board is a slow and complicated way of talking to your guides which also carries risks. Be careful!

© 2006-2011 by Erin Pavlina.

Related posts:

1. Ask Erin: Are ouija boards real?
2. Hey, Who Moved My Guides?
3. Can I contact a deceased relative on my own?
4. Who am I connecting with during a tarot card reading?
5. Can negative entities masquerade as spirit guides?
6. Are guides always wiser than us?
7. How many spirit guides do I have?

Answer: I’ve done readings for people where their guides were pushing them pretty hard on a certain path, often leaving no time or energy for relationships or other things my client wanted in his or her life. As such, these guides were not nudging, plotting, or planning for my client to have a relationship, even though it was something my client dearly desired. In this case, I suggested to my client to bring in new guides who were on board with their plan. You can do this. But before you ask for new guides, make sure you know why your current guides are pushing or blocking.

You know that saying, “Before you tear down a fence find out why it was put up in the first place?” Same thing applies here. In the cases with my clients who had the snorty guides, their life purpose hinged greatly on their career path. So the guides were pretty pushy.

However, because of free will, we have the right to go down any path we desire, even if it’s destructive, and even if it’s against the design of our higher self. You just must accept the consequences of your actions. If you came here to be a world class quantum physicist who is going to discover something amazing and you derail yourself because you want love instead, then when you get back to the ether you’re probably going to kick yourself.

Now, now, that’s not to say a world class physicist can’t have love. But I’ve read for people who literally came here to accomplish something that will help the planet and a relationship really WILL derail them. Their guides know that, so their guides are not pushing in the direction of love.

The bottom line is if you want something in your life that you aren’t attracting, sometimes you can ask for a specific guide to come in and help you with that. It doesn’t mean firing your current guides. I wouldn’t do that unless it’s a dire situation. Ask the universe to bring you a guide whose job it is to bring you love. And see what happens.

Just do it while meditating, or speak it out loud at night before you go to bed. “Dear Universe, I want love in my life. Will you please assign me a guide who will help me find it. Thank you! You’re awesome. I love you. Goodnight.”

P.S. Don’t even try asking for Lottery Guides. No such thing. But you can ask for a guide to help you with your abundance or financial flow.

© 2006-2011 by Erin Pavlina.

Related posts:

1. How many spirit guides do I have?
2. Can you tell me who my spirit guides are?
3. Guided Meditation as a Tool for Speaking with Spirit Guides
4. Is guidance from your higher self better than guidance from your spirit guides?
5. Do spirit guides know the future?
6. Why don’t you just channel God instead of spirit guides?
7. Are Spirit Guides Deceased Relatives?

Answer: On the other side there are no days, and we don’t have bodies, so definitely no eating, drinking, sleeping, or playing the harp.

Spirits on the other side do many things. They do “hang out” with other spirits they know. They commune with each other, share information, ideas, and philosophy.

Some spirits become spirit guides, so they actively work to help guide incarnated souls on their journeys.

Some spirits continue their “studies” on the other side, going to a sort of “school” as it would seem to us.

Spirits experience; anything and everything they want to. They travel the cosmos and meet other beings.

Some spirits help other spirits cross over. Some assist in the Akashic Records.

On the other side, we are energy, not matter, but we retain our consciousness. We look in on our loved ones, we plan our next life, and share our energy with others. It’s unlike our lives here in many ways, but it should be interesting for sure.

© 2006-2011 by Erin Pavlina.

Related posts:

1. Why Do Some Spirits Stay Earthbound?
2. The Other Side ebook Release
3. How can we attract the good spirits without attracting the bad?
4. Podcast: What I Remember About the Ether
5. How can I get a deceased loved one to communicate with me?
6. Signs From the Spirits
7. Will I see a loved one on the other side if they’ve already reincarnated?

Answer: When I connect with a deceased person during a reading I am always connecting with the persona that my client would recognize. So if Aunt Clara is coming through for my client, I’m connecting with the personality that was Aunt Clara in life. I am not connecting with Aunt Clara’s higher self.

I have never been looking for a deceased friend or relative and was presented with a person’s higher self instead.

So when does a person slough off the persona from their previous incarnation? I believe it varies by person. Sometimes a person “hangs on” to their old life because they are still emotionally connected to their living loved ones, or they are waiting for someone, like a spouse, to die so they can move on together. At some point every spirit lets go and merges back with their higher self.

I’ll bet it’s possible for a higher self to still come through as a previous persona, but I have never had that experience with a spirit.

No medium can guarantee contact with a specific deceased person. What I’ve noticed is sometimes I’ll bring a spirit through and my client will say, “Yep, he comes through every time I do a reading with a medium.” That’s a spirit who is still connected, hovering, and hanging around their loved ones. I’ve also had situations where a certain spirit never comes through no matter how many readings a person gets with a medium, and I suspect those spirits have disconnected and moved on.

© 2006-2011 by Erin Pavlina.

Related posts:

1. How can I get a deceased loved one to communicate with me?
2. Do dead people know what I’m thinking?
3. Do deceased couples stay together on the other side?
4. Do deceased family members know when someone is going to die?
5. How Can Psychics Reach Deceased Relatives Who Have Reincarnated?
6. Can I contact a deceased relative on my own?
7. Can Dead People Negatively Affect Your Life?

Answer: Unless you are strong and practiced at psychic self defense, you should not open yourself up to a negative entity to communicate with it. It’s very dangerous. As soon as you tune in, the entity is going to “push” its energy onto you. If you’re not ready for it you could become influenced or possessed. If it’s a demon, you’re going to be in serious trouble. If it’s a low vibrational entity, you’re most likely going to need help shaking it off.

If you encounter a negative, low vibrational presence in someone’s home, ask it to go away, but without opening yourself up to hearing its story. Tell it that it must go, that it is not welcome, and that it should never come back. If it’s a demon, that may not be enough and you may need assistance from professionals who handle that sort of thing. But 99% of the time, it’s not a demon, it’s a ghost or a low vibrational entity from the astral plane.

Keeping your vibration high is critical when you’re around a negative presence.

If you are a medium or a psychic you could attempt to communicate with the entity but only if you have learned how to shield yourself while you do it. I have been in situations where I allow an entity to tell me its tale without warming up to it and letting it come inside for tea and cookies.

But as a cautionary tale, if you read the story of my paranormal investigation at the Amargosa Hotel, you’ll see how I ended up getting influenced by a low vibrational entity and how it really caught me by surprise. I was too tired, and too “nice” to it and it tried to get me to hurt my friends.

You may also want to ask yourself why there is a negative presence in your friend’s home and work with your friend to remove it.

© 2006-2011 by Erin Pavlina.

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1. Can negative entities masquerade as spirit guides?
2. Can you give psychic readings to your family and friends without bias?
3. How can I get a deceased loved one to communicate with me?
4. How Should You Communicate With Your Spirit Guides?
5. What is channeling and can anyone do it?
6. Demons, Entities, and Possession Oh My!
7. How can I purge myself of the negative energy sticking to me?

Answer: This is a great question and I’m glad you asked it.

While it may seem as if lightworkers are not engaging in social issues, the opposite is actually true. While everyone else is out there fighting, arguing, debating, pushing, warring, and creating conflict, a true lightworker knows that the way to change our planet is to hold the vibration of what we want: peace, love, compassion, kindness, gratitude, and joy. While everyone else is sinking down into the mud to fight about things, the lightworkers are cleverly keeping their vibration high.

And do you know what that does? It changes the world from within. One person at a time. That may seem slow, but it is the only way. And there are many lightworkers affecting many people. Oh you won’t hear about them on the news. “Today in the mall someone cast love at 80 people.” You only hear of the violence, “Today in the mall someone opened fire and killed 10 people.”

If lightworkers focus on the negative, if they allow themselves to become upset, angry or fearful, then the other side wins. The dark takes over. We cannot change our problems with the same thinking or actions that caused them. We must rise above. It may sound airy fairy to some, but that’s okay. For every man out there with a rifle and a vendetta, there are 10 lightworkers casting love at people in the mall, the grocery store, on a blog, at a conference, or a family event.

We are not turning a blind eye. Not remotely. We are well aware of the fear, greed, control, and anger. We are well aware of the needless deaths, the irresponsible acts, the horror and violence. We hold our light anyway. We are being in the world what we want to see in the world. We are speaking, not always with our voices, but with our vibration. We are keeping our candle lit, sheltered from the winds of violence snuffing it out.

And we are many and growing every day.

© 2006-2011 by Erin Pavlina.

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1. Up Against the Ropes: A social psychology experiment
2. Is Evil Really Winning?
3. Was Hitler’s life pre-planned?
4. The Golden Rule
5. I Have a Dream Too
6. What is the spiritual meaning behind mass suffering?
7. Why does God allow bad things to happen to good people?

Answer: yes, it’s possible to meet people in this life whom you knew in a past life and you recognize them but they don’t recognize you. It happens all the time. If you are very spiritually open, if you have strong intuition, and if you’re on the lookout, you will more likely remember or notice when you encounter someone whom you loved in a past life.

It’s nice when the other person remembers as well, but much of the time they do not. They may not be in tune with their intuition in this life. If you can help them open up to their spirituality, to Source, and to intuition, it’s possible they will remember or begin to feel that energetic connection that you’re feeling.

But don’t be terribly disappointed if they do not. If we were meant to remember, we would remember easily. If you can remember, consider yourself lucky and gifted. Connect and interact with your lost soul connections but don’t judge them if they can’t remember you.

Sometimes you’ll connect with someone that does remember, and it’s a fantastic feeling. It’s like reuniting with a long lost lover (or child, or parent, or good friend) from the past. Cherish the connection and feelings that come up. Chances are good you two have business to attend to in this life.

But enjoy getting to know who they are now, don’t just remember who they used to be. And just because you meet someone who was your lover in a past life doesn’t mean they intend to connect with you in the same way in this life. Let the relationship be what it wants to be. Don’t force anything or have expectations based on past connections.

© 2006-2011 by Erin Pavlina.

Related posts:

1. What is the point in recalling past lives?
2. Ask Erin: How do I let go of my past?
3. How a Little Intuition, and a Little Logic, Saved a Little Life
4. Soul Mates vs. Soul Connections
5. Past Lives
6. Podcast: What I Remember About the Ether
7. Celebrate Your Life Review and Experience

Answer: Dream sharing is a phenomenon where two people are having the same dream, at the same time, and both are aware of the presence of another dreamer in the dream.

It’s extremely rare to be able to enter someone else’s dream. When someone is dreaming, they are in a construct that is very internal to their own brain. In order for someone else to cut in on that, they would have to be able to get inside the original dreamer’s mind. I’d say that for the most part it’s nearly impossible to share a dream.

However, I’ve had three instances I can recall where I witnessed a dream that one of my friends was having, but I could not interact or affect the dream, and my friend was unaware of my presence. However, the next day I was able to tell him in exact detail what he dreamed. Was I in his dream or was I picking up on his thoughts psychically, or was I somehow able to tap into his dream remotely and see what was happening? I’m not sure. I think this is one for the scientists. All I know is that I saw the dream as it was happening and I was accurate in my report.

Now… there is another phenomenon that occurs which may be more likely what you’re experiencing. I’ve had a lot of experiences where friends and I shared a dream. Or so I thought. These were experiences where they were aware of me, I was aware of them, and we could interact with each other consciously during the experience, and share full recall the next morning. At first I thought we were dream sharing, but then I realized that every single time I experienced this phenomenon the content of the “dream” was paranormal in nature. In other words, we were being attacked by a low vibrational entity from the astral plane. We were not in a dream construct, we were more in an energetic construct that had form.

For example, in one experience I can recall, I was being chased by a horde of demonic creatures, let’s call them hell hounds just as a point of reference. I remember hiding under a staircase in an old castle. I heard footsteps coming down the stairs and my boyfriend at the time appeared before me and said, “I chased them off. Let’s get out of here.” As we ran, we had a conversation. The next morning he told me he had a “dream” that he found me cowering under the stairs after chasing off a horde of nasties. He and I both remember the conversation we had during the experience. Was it a dream or something else? I’m going with something else. Probably something astral.

So I believe you can witness someone else’s dream, and I believe you can consciously meet on the astral plane, but I don’t think you can enter someone else’s dream and affect it. It’s too much a part of their brain. You can remote view it, but I don’t think you can affect it.

So I would say if you believe you are in your friend’s dream, take a moment to analyze whether it’s a dream or an astral experience, especially if running from nasties is involved.

Instead, to help your friend, I suggest you counsel him on overcoming his past issues and help him remove his blocks. I don’t think you need to be in his dreams to do it.

© 2006-2011 by Erin Pavlina.

Related posts:

1. Astral Projection and Dreaming
2. Can we learn new things in a lucid dream?
3. Ask Erin: Can two people share a lucid dream?
4. Did my deceased friend come to visit me in my dream or not?
5. How To Pre-Program a Dream
6. Playing in the Dream World
7. Is there any way to bring a dream back?

Answer: This is another question I have to answer with a yes and no.

What I’ve been made to understand is that when we initially cross over we are allowed to relive, alter, change, and construct events. If you’ve ever wondered what would have happened if you took a different road, married a different man, turned left instead of right, it appears as if you get to explore those other possibilities for a time. You get to relive amazing moments and times in your life, and you also get to experience what it was like for others to interact with you, so if you ever harmed someone or caused them to suffer you get to know what that was like for them.

You also get to construct landscapes and conditions. Run through a grassy meadow with your arms outstretched. Sit on the top of a mountain and meditate. Stand on a stage and sing to a crowd. It’s like a holodeck where you can construct any experience you want.

But this doesn’t last forever. Guides and angels eventually come to extricate you, to remind you that you have crossed over, and that it’s time to reconnect with your higher self. Then a whole other world of energy opens up to you. You become energy, no body, no physicality. You are thought, consciousness. You can interact with other energies, you can become a spirit guide for an incarnated soul, you can watch over your loved ones and help guide them, you can commune with the ascended masters, and travel the cosmos. It’s apparently quite a rich and interesting experience, of which I only currently remember fleeting pieces.

Dying is going home. Where you go from there is entirely up to you.

© 2006-2011 by Erin Pavlina.

Related posts:

1. How many questions are answered once we die?
2. The Life Review
3. Quick Answers to Quick Questions Part 2
4. How many spirit guides do I have?
5. Can you prevent astral projection?
6. Does thinking about deceased relatives hold them here?
7. Can you affect things on the physical plane while you are astral?

Answer: Most of the time a person does not choose to reincarnate so quickly. I often hear of people who say, “My grandmother died last week and then my niece was born and we’re pretty sure it’s grandma!” Uh no. Highly doubtful. Most souls do not reincarnate to the same family or that quickly either. So chances are excellent that anyone you knew in this life will be waiting and available for you when you cross over.

However, I believe that even if someone has reincarnated before you cross over, you can still reconnect with their higher self, who is always in the ether, anchoring their “player” who goes back to earth for another round of death and taxes.

You will see your loved ones again when you die.

Check out my ebook, The Other Side, for more information about what happens in the afterlife.

© 2006-2011 by Erin Pavlina.

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1. How can I get a deceased loved one to communicate with me?
2. How Can Psychics Reach Deceased Relatives Who Have Reincarnated?
3. Who greets us on the other side?
4. The Other Side ebook Release
5. Can we meet celebrities on the other side?
6. Are dreams about deceased loved ones real?
7. Do you see animals on the other side?

Answer: Having recently gone through the death of a very close friend, I can really sympathize and understand why having communication with a deceased loved one suddenly becomes a matter of great urgency.

I believe that most deceased people are trying to visit the loved ones they left behind. Sometimes they are literally standing right next to you and you can’t detect them. It’s frustrating for the dead to be so close and yet so far.

So I would say your mother is already visiting you, you’re just not detecting her. To improve your ability to detect a deceased presence, you can try one or all of these ideas.

1. Pay attention to dreams. Deceased people love to come through in dreams because your barriers are down and you’re more likely to let them in. If you can lucid dream, try connecting with them there.

2. Meditate. Meditation will help you raise your vibration which is like meeting them halfway. You’ll be more likely to detect the presence of a deceased person if your vibration is as high as possible. I’ve got a nifty meditation you can use to connect with a deceased loved on in my audio program Raising Your Vibration.

3. Channel. Sit quietly in their old bedroom, hold an object of theirs that is energetically charged. Clear your mind and focus on their energy. Daydream about them. After a few minutes you may feel their presence, or smell their favorite perfume, or hear them talking to you in your mind, or see them with your mind’s eye. Let it come. Don’t chase it.

4. Be patient. Sometimes your grief acts as a barrier for contact. So it may just be a little while until they can get through to you. Be patient but know they are there. Even famous mediums sometimes wait months or years to get contact. It took me 3-4 months before I heard from a deceased ex-boyfriend.

5. Talk to a medium. I recommend waiting at least 6 weeks before talking to a medium. But if you get a good one, it can be extremely comforting to hear from your deceased loved one so that you know they made it safely to the other side.

6. Ask others. Often it’s other people that end up getting communication from the other side even if they weren’t as energetically connected to them as you were. So ask your friends and family if they are getting communication. Even if you long for contact yourself, it should still be comforting to hear from others that your loved one is okay and still thinking about you.

P.S. Read my ebook, The Other Side, for tons of information about what happens when we die.

© 2006-2011 by Erin Pavlina.

Related posts:

1. Are dreams about deceased loved ones real?
2. Can I contact a deceased relative on my own?
3. How Should You Communicate With Your Spirit Guides?
4. Why hasn’t my deceased boyfriend contacted me?
5. Did my deceased friend come to visit me in my dream or not?
6. Do deceased couples stay together on the other side?
7. Does thinking about deceased relatives hold them here?