Last Saturday Emily came running into my bedroom and said, “Mommy, we lost a turtle. We can’t find him. Help us!”

A little background. I got my kids each a red-eared slider baby turtle earlier this year. The kids adore playing with them and do a pretty good job of taking care of them. Emily diligently cleans their cage without me asking, and she makes sure they have food, drops, and minerals to keep them healthy. Sometimes when the turtles are roaming free of their tanks, the kids wander into another room for a minute and when they come back, they can’t find their turtles. I’ve admonished them about this many times, not to leave their turtles unattended. In every case we’ve found the turtles hunkered down in a dark corner of the room.

Not so on this fateful Saturday morning. I asked what happened. Emily said, “We were playing with them in your office and Kyle told me to come look at something in his room, so I did, and when we got back, we could only find Fortune Cookie, but not Smoothie.”

I got up to help them look, figuring it would be a piece of cake to find the turtle. Emily said they’d only been away for a few minutes. How far could a baby turtle get in a few minutes?

I spent the next 20 minutes pouring through every nook and cranny of my office. The closet, behind the desk, behind the credenza, inside boxes and bags. Hmm, no turtle. I was sort of stumped. I’d checked everywhere a turtle could reasonably crawl or climb, and I couldn’t find him. I started to worry a little.

“Emily, are you sure he was in this room?”

“Yes.”

“Are you sure you were only gone for a few minutes? Like are we talking 2 or 8?”

“Maybe 5 minutes, Mommy.”

Shoot, in 5 minutes the turtle could easily make it to another room. We had to expand our search into the kids’ rooms. I assigned each child an area to search and they got busy. I searched my office again, from stem to stern, but still nothing.

We searched for about an hour and came up empty handed. I was worried he’d gotten past us all and might even be downstairs. Kyle had to go to a play date so I dropped him off really quick and then Emily and I spent literally the next 2 hours tearing up the house looking for our little guy. We couldn’t find him. I knew he must be somewhere, but I didn’t know where. Emily started to cry, blaming herself for losing the turtle. She asked what would happen to him if we didn’t find him. I told her if we didn’t find him soon, he would probably die from lack of food and water. She started sobbing after that. I was pretty sad myself, and quite distraught.

I didn’t know what to do. I had exhausted all of my ideas. Emily came to me a little while later and said, “You’re psychic, can’t you just find him?” Smart kid! In fact, I’d written an article called How To Find Lost Items Using Psychic Abilities. Finding lost items has never been a strong suit for me, though, and when people ask me to help them find lost items psychically I usually have to refer them to someone else. I can find the lost threads of a career, but when it comes to finding physical objects I’m nearly blind. But I decided to give it a shot.

I tuned in clairvoyantly and asked my guides where the turtle was. I saw an image of my big, heavy credenza in my office. And I saw an image of the turtle huddled back there in the dark.

I went back to the credenza in my office and looked behind it. I had to use a flashlight to see back there. There were a lot of plugs and phone wires. I couldn’t move the credenza as it weighs hundreds of pounds, so I shone the flashlight every which way I could in order to see every nook and cranny back there. I didn’t see the turtle. I was frustrated and sad. I considered moving the credenza but that would involve me taking everything off it and I still wasn’t sure I could move it myself. I was reasonably certain the turtle wasn’t back there because I couldn’t see him.

We gave up looking. I put a bowl of food and water near the credenza because of all the places I thought he would be, I still somehow felt he was there or near there. And we went on about our day, always looking at the floor for the turtle.

Saturday passed and we all went to bed sad.

On Sunday we made another search. I had read online that they might be able to survive up to a week without food and water. The pet store had told me not to keep him out of the water for more than 2 hours so I thought he was a goner for sure. Sunday night we went to sleep, beginning to accept we would never find him.

On Monday, the housekeeper came to clean and I told her to be on the lookout for the turtle, and not to suck him up in the vacuum. She knew how much we loved our turtles and she was sad right there with us. Every time I tuned in to the turtle’s energy I saw the credenza in my mind. But I had checked the entire credenza, front and back, and even in the cupboards, but he wasn’t there. I assumed my intuition was on the fritz.

On Monday afternoon, I picked Steve up from the airport. I told him about our turtle and he started asking me about my search pattern. When I told him that I felt he was behind the credenza but upon examination saw that he was not, Steve said, “Well could he be UNDER the credenza?”

I said, “There is no under. It’s flush against the carpet.”

He said, “In the front, sure, but often with that type of furniture it’s raised in the back and even hollow underneath so you can get wires through there.”

“What?!?! Oh my God! I didn’t know that!! He’s probably under the credenza then! That’s got to be it. It would make perfect sense!”

He said, “You’re welcome!”

I raced to get the kids from school and as soon as we got home I put my hand behind the credenza and could feel that the back was indeed raised and hollow! I commanded the children to start getting everything off the credenza. Books, papers, CDs, and office supplies were flying off the shelves.

Once it was empty I tried moving the credenza, but it was too heavy still and wouldn’t budge. Emily offered to help me but I was worried she would be crushed. I called upon every bit of strength I could muster and was able to move the credenza… a millimeter. Emily wedged herself behind the credenza and pushed with all her might. I’ll be damned, that credenza started moving! Strong little child (or I’m exceptionally weak!). With both of us working at it, we were able to swing one side out from the wall. Emily got her face down on the carpet and looked underneath the credenza with her flashlight. “There he is Mommy! He’s right there! I can’t reach him, but he’s there!”

I said, “Does he look like he’s moving?” She said, “No.” I silently prayed, “Please don’t let us have come this far only to pull out a dry dessicated husk of turtle!”

I moved in, looked under the furniture and saw him, huddled, not moving. My arm couldn’t fit under the furniture so I told the kids to find me a stick or something I could use to pull him out. We ended up with a hanger. I used the hanger to hook him and pull gently towards me. He wasn’t trying to get away or move and I feared the worst.

When I got him all the way out his head was pretty huddled in his shell, but after a few seconds he started wiping his head with his paw. He was alive! We immediately put him in some water and got him some food. We were extremely relieved and happy to have found him alive. And Emily spent the rest of the day nursing him back to health and hovering like a worried mother. We discussed why you never leave turtles unattended.

In looking back on the incident, I realized that my intuition had accurately shown me where he was, I just didn’t investigate far enough. I discounted my intuition because I couldn’t see how it was logically possible.

Do you ever do that? Receive intuitive information that doesn’t make logical sense so you discount it as false or a flight of fancy? How many times have I done this myself? Believe me, I’m not immune to the intuition/logic dilemma. Steve took my intuition and figured out how it could make sense. It was through a combination of intuition and logic that we found our turtle.

Intuition is a really powerful tool. Logic has its place as well. Without logic, in this case, I never would have found our turtle until it was too late. Use your intuition to gather and receive information and then use your logic to take appropriate and wise action. Maybe your intuition will someday save a life.

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

Related posts:

1. How To Tell the Difference Between Your Ego, Logic, Spirit Guides and Intuition
2. Pesky Logic
3. Always Listen to Your Intuition
4. The Intuition Workshop
5. Getting Back to Love

Here you are in the middle of a crisis, another disaster, one failure on top of another, universe smooshing you to the ground, stepped on like a bug on the bottom of the shoe of life. Where is your guidance now? Where is the Divine Source when you need it? Why aren’t the guides helping you!?

Hear this now. Your guides will always come for you. But how can I be sure? Because this is true love. You think this happens every day?

The truth is, your guides do not abandon you. They signed up for this gig knowing there would be challenges and heartache. More likely you’ve either abandoned them, you stopped listening to their advice, or you can’t hear them even though you want to. It is especially during times of crisis or emotional hardship that your guides try their hardest to send you help. But you’ve got to know what it looks like, sounds like, or feels like or you might miss it.

Wouldn’t it be great if you could just get a letter in the mail from your spirit guides telling you exactly what you need to do to make your life better? We all wish it was that straightforward. Unfortunately, guides can never find a pen, and a stamp costs a bazillion dollars per ounce to mail from the ether. So we’re left with signs, signals, synchronicities, or a really good intuitive who can tell you what your guides want you to know.

Your best bet is to learn how to hear, see, feel or know your guides. To do this, you need to know what your intuitive modalities are. I’ve written a nifty article on this topic, so please read it when you’re done with this one: How To Recognize Your Intuitive Modality. After you have determined the ways in which you receive intuition, you should use that modality to connect with your guides. I wrote another nifty article to help you with that called Spirit Guides: Who are they and how do you connect with them?

The best and most common way people connect with their guides is through meditation, but there are certainly other ways as outlined in the above article. But if you don’t have the time or inclination to learn how to speak to your guides directly, rest assured they will come to you. Usually they send signs, signals and synchronicities to help guide you to the person, place or plan that will help you the most. Do you know when you’re getting a sign or some guidance? Here are some articles that outline how you can tell:

Spirit Guides at Starbucks
Like Rats in a Maze
Interpreting Synchronicities From Spirit
How Should You Communicate with Your Spirit Guides?

Life is not trying to punish you. Sometimes you make decisions that lead to physical hardship or emotional pain and suffering. That’s when learning and growth happens.

If you aren’t sure what your guides are trying to tell you, you can book an intuitive session with me and I will tell you. But honestly, it’s best to learn how to do this on your own because you can’t keep going to an intuitive for advice when you have a problem. One time, when you’re really stuck, yes that’s appropriate. I can also help you understand your intuitive modalities and give you some advice on how to connect with your guides specifically. Let’s meet them together so you can form a relationship with them that will last a lifetime… because that’s how long they’ll be with you.

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

Related posts:

1. How Should You Communicate With Your Spirit Guides?
2. How To Tell the Difference Between Your Ego, Logic, Spirit Guides and Intuition
3. Are guides always wiser than us?

I smiled.  This was going to be fun.  I started knocking on the watermelons.  She knocked, I knocked.  We compared sounds.  Definitely differences in how they sounded.  She was pretty sure the hollow-sounding ones were the good ones.  We started banging on those watermelons like they were drums.  Pretty soon we had a nice beat going.  We were really enjoying ourselves, smiling, laughing, comparing. 

Soon we had each picked a watermelon, hoping we’d made the right choice.  I took her over to the cantaloupes and taught her what the produce guy taught me about picking a good one.  When you smell it, it should smell like a ripe cantaloupe already (or very nearly so).  If it has no smell, leave it be.  She thanked me for my tip and we each picked a nice ripe cantaloupe.

I enjoyed my experience with her.  I love connecting with strangers.  We wished each other well and went on about our shopping.  In a minute, I saw this lady’s husband come up to the cart carrying a bag of something green.  He said, “Come on, stop fooling around.  We’ve got things to do.”  And that’s when I saw her energy plummet.  All the joy left her in moments, sucked into the vortex of joylessness.  I watched from afar as he continued to lecture her on being serious, staying focused, and getting things done.  I heard her respond with phrases like, “Okay dear.  Yes dear.  Fine, fine.  Whatever.” 

As I continued shopping, I ran into them in the aisles as we were going at roughly the same pace.  Her energy was still low when I ran into her in the cereal aisle.  I said, “So how do you pick ripe cereal?”  She got this funny look on her face, like she suddenly wasn’t invisible, then started laughing.  And we started tapping and drumming on the cereal boxes with childlike glee.  Her energy was back up.  Her chakras were open.  Her husband wasn’t near her.  We had a good chuckle and continued on.  Her husband came back to the cart and didn’t even say a word, but I saw all her joyful energy leave her again.  She looked down at the ground and pushed her cart without saying a word to him.  He was going on about prices being too high and complaining about some other things.

I don’t know if they were just having a bad day or if this was the norm in their lives, but I got the sense that she spent more time taking care of him and his needs than her own, and I also got the sense that she desperately wanted to experience more joy in her life but was often stunted by the energy of her husband, and potentially other people.

Have you experienced the energy plummet?  You’re having a great time, your energy is high, you’re in a nice high vibrational state, and an event, a person, or a situation suddenly brings your energy down?  What’s happening and what should you do when this happens?

At all times you are broadcasting your energy to the world, whether you’re in a high vibrational state or a low one.  As you interact with people, they are brushing up against your energy field, and you’re interacting with theirs.  So if you’re having a great time, and you come across another person having a great time, your energies are going to mingle and you’ll probably both be having a better time in seconds!  If your energy is super low and you come into range of another person who is low, neither one of you will be in a vibrational state to uplift the other, so your energies will remain low, and potentially get worse if you both start complaining about your problems or life situation.

But what happens when a high vibration meets a low vibration?  The stronger field will begin to affect the weaker field.  By stronger I mean the person more committed to maintaining their energetic state.  In the case I outlined, it was the husband.  The woman immediately caved to his energy, she didn’t put up a fight at all.  I’m guessing it’s because they run this pattern often and she often fails so just capitulates to save time and struggle.  She’s been conditioned.

Have you ever been in a situation where you’re with someone vibrating at a totally different frequency than you?  If so, you know what I’m talking about.  If they’re low and you’re high, you might refer to them as a buzzkill.  If you’re the low one and they are high, you might tell them they are being insensitive to your misery.  Misery loves company, right?  So if you’re miserable then your field is going to naturally try to lower someone else’s.  Sometimes that works, and sometimes it doesn’t, and they leave you to your misery.  But one thing is certain… when two fields of opposite polarities engage, eventually the stronger field will influence the weaker one.

Is there a defense?  What if you don’t want to be brought down off your high?  Could the woman in the grocery store have done something to make her field stronger?  The answer is consciousness.  You must consciously decide what your vibration is going to be.  It’s literally like putting up a shield.  So if someone comes to you complaining, their waves will bounce harmlessly off your consciousness shield. 

Here are the steps you can take to guard yourself when your vibration is high and you’re about to interact with another person:

Step 1:  Identify the vibration of the person you’re interacting with.  Is it high or low?

Step 2:  If you want your vibration lowered, let them in and let their energy overtake yours.  It won’t take long.  If you don’t want to be sucked into the vortex of low energy, go to step 3.

Step 3:  Recognize the push and pull of energy between you and stay strong in your field.  Conscious awareness and intent are all it takes to stay in your high vibrational state.  Refuse to sink to their state.  As their energy creeps into yours, push back by staying positive and in your joy.  You might even raise their vibration if they’re willing.

Step 4:  Remove yourself from the situation if you need to.  And if you’re constantly brought down by the same person, consider removing them from your life.

You are responsible for your vibrational state.  You can put yourself in any state you want by consciously choosing your emotions.  And if you’re in a low vibrational state, raise your vibration.  Do you want to be at the mercy of someone else’s vibrational field?  Or do you want to decide how you feel?  Really, the choice is yours.

Own your vibration and guard it from those who seek to lower it.  You will experience more joy and resourcefulness if you can keep your vibration high.

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

Related posts:

1. Raising Your Vibration Audio Program
2. How To Raise Your Vibration When You Feel Fear
3. How To Raise Your Vibration

Answer:  Generally speaking, no, the dead do not miss the living.  I know that sounds horrible, but let’s look at death from their perspective so you’ll understand why they don’t miss us like we miss them.

When your loved one dies, he’s greeted on the other side by loved ones who have crossed over before him.  He goes back to the light of Divine Love.  To say he’s in a better place is an understatement.  He’s happy, blissful even.  It’s as exciting as winning the lottery.  He goes through his life review, understanding and comprehending the lessons and experiences he had in life.  He makes peace with himself, and crosses right on over into bliss.

The dead are aware, however, that those of us left behind are having a much harder time dealing with what we perceive as a loss, because we, the living, think the person is gone to a galaxy far, far away.  Our dead loved ones try to get our attention, to let us know they are just fine and playing Bingo in the sky with your old dog, uh … Bingo.  For them it’s like looking through one way glass where they can see us but we can’t see them.  So they wave their arms, stomp up and down, scream to us, but we can’t hear them.  How frustrating do you think that is for them?

So next they try getting our attention in other ways.  They send us dreams telling us they’re fine.  We discount those as “just dreams.”  They knock pictures off the wall.  We discount those as the house settling or the kids running amok.  They waft specific smells our way.  “Does anyone smell freesia? Didn’t grandma like freesias?  Weird.”  They put significant songs on the radio, drop change in front of our feet, make the rocking chair rock all by itself, and we chalk it all up to imagination or wishful thinking.  So finally they just sit and hold us with their incorporeal arms, trying to comfort us physically without a physical body to do it with.

And they listen.  They listen to our prayers and eulogies, our anger, our sadness.  And they watch.  They watch us cry, sleep, and cry some more.  They watch us slowly put our lives back together.  They feel joy when we have a victory over our grief.

But they’re also spending their time getting to know the other side and reconnecting with people there.  They realize that no one really dies, we simply transform.  This is nothing to be sad about.  It’s something wonderful.  If the living could remember that the dead are not truly gone, it could lessen our grief.  We grieve over our loss, over the loss of their presence in our lives.  And yes, that is a real loss, but it is not a complete, never-going-to-see-you-again loss. 

Honor the dead.  Share your joy and love with them.  Cast love energy their way.  And try to feel the love energy they’re casting back at you.  A medium can help you reconnect, but a medium is unnecessary if you open your heart and remember that the dead don’t leave us, so they don’t miss us.  Remember them and cherish your memories.  You can keep the connection alive by talking to them and acknowledging their presence at special family events.

They are still there, you can still talk to them, and they still see you and care about you.  They know you’re sad, but they know life is an amazing gift and experience, and they want you to enjoy yours to the fullest extent possible.  When you’re ready, move on with living your life. You will see your loved ones again.

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

Related posts:

1. Q&A on the Dead and the Afterlife
2. The Dead Speak
3. Can Dead People Negatively Affect Your Life?

When tragic deaths occur sometimes people want to consult a medium right away.  They want answers and comfort.  They want to know if the deceased made it to the other side or if they are stuck in limbo.  Sometimes they want details of a murder so they can find the perpetrator.  Sometimes they simply want to know why.

But should you consult a medium in the early days following your loved one’s death?

No, it’s not a good idea.  Here’s why:

Grief is a barrier to connection
When I read for people who are deeply in the throes of grief their sadness affects my ability to tune in.  When I open up to spirit I am also opening up to my client.  Because of my empathy, I feel the emotional pain of my client deeply.  To connect with a deceased person I have to stay objective and neutral.  So I have to tune out my client’s grief which means I’m closing a channel that could otherwise be useful to me in creating a strong connection with the deceased loved one.  It affects the strength of the connection.  I can still do it, but not as easily or well.

The deceased need time to learn how to connect with a medium
If you were suddenly thrown into a country where you didn’t speak the language, how long would it take you to be able to communicate effectively with the people around you?  When someone crosses over they are not automatically able to connect with a human medium to send messages to their loved ones.  They have to learn how to do it.  Every medium works slightly differently, so the deceased person has to figure out what frequency the medium is on and match it.  Mediums use clairvoyance, clairaudience, clairsentience and claircognizance to connect with those on the other side.  A deceased person sometimes comes to me in images, or talks to me in my head, or makes me feel what they felt when they died.  There are many variables which have to line up for me to make a connection, and working with newly deceased energy is like talking to a newborn.

The deceased may not be ready to talk
I know you want to hear from your loved ones immediately, but they may not be ready to talk.  There’s a lot going on for them.  They might still be processing their own death and may not even be aware that someone is trying to communicate with them.  They sometimes need to get situated, work out some karma, find their way “home” before they can relax and consider the needs of those they left behind.  Be patient.  Sometimes another deceased relative will speak on behalf of the new arrival.  Be open to whoever wants to come through with information.

Answers may not be available
You want answers.  You want to know why your loved one was taken from you or why they chose to leave so soon or so suddenly.  Sometimes answers are forthcoming and sometimes they’re not.  Sometimes it’s not for you to know why, in the grand scheme, a person left this incarnation.  Perhaps you’ll never know, or perhaps you’ll see why later.  Sometimes it’s part of a major growth experience for you, and giving you answers without you searching for them robs you of that growth experience.  If deceased loved ones could tell us everything there was to know about life and death there would be a lot of lottery-winning psychics on Earth right now!  We may not be privy to the reasons why.  Trust in the universe, and know that you will someday reunite with your loved one on the other side and know for sure what happened.

So when SHOULD you consult a medium?
You should consult a medium when your grief is under control and not raw.  Usually three months is the minimum amount of time you should wait after someone has died before consulting a medium.  Longer if you’re still grieving really hard.  It’s not that you have you wait until you no longer care about your deceased loved one, it’s that you need to be strong and open, and not falling down under the weight of grief.  You want to lend the medium your strength, not ask her to hold you up while also dialing the other side. 

Will the deceased send signs or signals when they are ready to communicate?
Yes.  If a deceased person is interested in communicating with the living, they can learn how.  Knocking down photos, sending a scent into the air, stopping your clocks or your electronics, coming to you in dreams, coming to others in dreams to get a message to YOU, leaving coins in odd places, putting “their” song on the radio when you’re thinking about them, and cold breezes are just a few of the ways the dead will try to communicate with you.  Be on the lookout and pay attention.  When you start getting signs, it’s a good bet a medium will be able to reach the deceased person.

Will the deceased name their killers or provide other useful information regarding their death and/or life?
Yes absolutely.  I’ve done readings where dead people name their killer, describe details of their accident for investigative purposes, and even mention where to find the will or important papers.  Doesn’t happen all the time.  I can’t force information out of the dead.  I can only pass on what they’re willing to give.  Sometimes a deceased person will go on and on about one of their kids and not the other.  Doesn’t mean they loved them any less; could simply mean one of the kids is in a more emergent situation than the other.  The dead have a perspective that is very different from our own.  We can’t really understand why some information is shareable and other information must remain secret.  When you get to the other side, take it up with them.

To summarize, consulting a medium should be done only if you need closure and certainty.  Having validating evidence come through is extremely comforting to the living.  But wait a bit for things to settle down, for you to get through the intense grief, and for your loved ones to learn how to communicate with the medium.  Your loved ones are in good hands on the other side.  Don’t worry about them.

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

Related posts:

1. Can a Medium Pick Up On a Code Word?
2. Connecting With The Dead During Readings
3. How do you prevent unwanted communication from the other side?

Answer:  I get variations on this question a lot.  If you lose a child either through abortion or miscarriage what happens to that baby’s soul?  Does it ever reincarnate back to the same parents or does it only get one chance?  The answer is sometimes yes and sometimes no.  It depends on several factors.

A child comes to a set of parents in three ways: by pre-arranged contract, by happenstance, and by accident.

Pre-arranged Contract
Sometimes before you incarnate you get with another soul and agree to be its future parent.  The soul who will be playing the part of your child waits for you to get to a point in your life that seems appropriate for him or her to incarnate.  Then whammo, pregnant, or if you’re a guy, your partner gets pregnant.  Doesn’t matter if you were consciously ready to have a child, sometimes the need and the contract outweigh the conscious desire.  So in this case, if you abort the pregnancy or if your body suffers a miscarriage, chances are good the child will make another attempt, unless the conditions under which it intended to incarnate change so drastically that your life is no longer suitable for it to explore its goals and desires.

By Happenstance
Sometimes you incarnate with no pre-arranged contract in the ether.  So you’re tooling along in life and decide to have a baby.  You send out the intention to the universe and your higher self scrambles around, holds auditions, does casting calls, etc. to find a soul that would be happy to play the part of your child.  Not pre-arranged, but still totally wonderful.  When your higher self finds you a soul and if the situation is good for everyone, that child will incarnate.  So if you abort or miscarry this baby’s body, that particular soul may or may not come back to you at a future date.  Its desire to be your particular child isn’t as strong or urgent as in the first case with the contract so it may move on to other parents or it may decide not to incarnate at all.

By Accident
In the third situation, you were not planning to have a child but either someone decided it wanted to incarnate with you, or you created a vessel that needed to be filled.  A suitable soul will be selected or has selected you without your conscious knowledge.  If you did not intend to have a child and you choose to abort the child or if you have a miscarriage, it may or may not come to you again.  That all depends on whether you want to have children, whether the child soul wants to incarnate to you, and whether the circumstances will be right in the future for it to have the life with you it wanted.

About 11 or 12 years ago a friend of mine was pregnant with twins, a boy and a girl.  During labor, her boy child passed away mysteriously in utero.  She had to deliver both babies, but her girl was alive and her boy was gone.  I felt very strongly this child would come back to her and that it would still be a boy.  Two years later to the DAY of her first child’s birth, she gave birth to the boy she originally lost.  The “twins” still had the same birthday, different year.  This child came back.

To sum up, a child who is lost through miscarriage or abortion has the capability of coming back to the same parents.  It will decide what is best based on circumstances, desire, and intent of all involved.  If you have lost a child and are hoping it will come back to you, ask it to.  Welcome it and invite that soul back.  It may come back as a different gender than it was originally.  That’s okay.  A soul decides what gender it will be at the time of selection.

Another question people ask me is whether their baby is okay on the other side.  Whether you lose a child through abortion, miscarriage, or early in its life, you have to remember that the size of its soul is not related to the size of its body.  While we always incarnate into a small shell, we are still “full grown” souls, so when we cross over, we are just fine. 

Losing a child is never easy, but please rest assured there are no hard feelings, sadness, regrets, or anger on the part of the soul who goes early back to the ether.  It’s all part of the circle of life.  And it all works out perfectly in the end.  If there was a strong connection between you and the baby’s soul, you will see it again when you cross over.

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

Related posts:

1. Do We Choose Our Children?
2. Abortion
3. Do you believe in Soul Mates?

Answer:  Sometimes when I’m doing a reading for a client both of their parents do come through during the reading.  The way they present to me tells me more about their relationship than if they flat out told me what their situation was.

If a couple was happily together at the time of the first person’s demise, I usually see them come through together, as if they are holding hands or hugging.  It doesn’t really matter whether they were legally married or not; their closeness in death reflects how close they were in life.

If they were separated in life, as in their energy was separate from each other, I usually see them standing apart, with one parent behind the left shoulder and the other parent behind the right shoulder.  In this case it also doesn’t matter whether they were married or divorced… it’s more a statement of their closeness at the time of their demise.

Sometimes four parents will come through and I’ll have to discern who the step parents were and who is connected to whom.  Yes, it can get complicated.  But honestly that’s rare.  I usually only have one deceased person come through, and sometimes they bring through another member of the family.

During readings I will also see parents and deceased siblings come through together, i.e. the sitter’s brother and mother are deceased and they come through to me together.  How they present visually is an indicator of their closeness in life. 

Are they really all together on the other side hanging out all day shooting the breeze?  Yes and no.  From what I’ve been shown, some energies do choose to stick together, and some go their separate ways at death.  I wouldn’t say they’re sitting around shooting the breeze.  I think it’s more that they come together during a reading because of the opportunity to interact with their living loved one, and they use their energy to show me their relationship.  After a reading is over, they go back to what they were doing before the reading.

In short, you stick with the energies of people with whom you’ve made strong loving connections, and you part ways with those you don’t resonate with.  But just because you fight or argue with a loved one while incarnated, doesn’t mean you’ll separate out when you get to the other side.  Where there is love, there is connection.

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

Related posts:

1. Who greets us on the other side?
2. Can we meet celebrities on the other side?
3. Why hasn’t my deceased boyfriend contacted me?

I really liked Torey.  He was this huge guy, probably 6’4”, muscular build, he was even sporting facial hair, which back then made him look much older than a high school student.  Many people in school called him a Dumb Giant and referred to him often as The Beast, but I saw a gentleness in Torey that belied his size.  We would talk often during class and pass notes to each other, and I remember sensing a great deal of sadness in Torey.  When I asked him what was wrong he never told me, but I knew he was haunted emotionally in some way.  Torey came to really like me and was really protective of me. If I ever had a problem with someone, Torey would go tell that person to leave me alone and I never had a problem with that person again.  He always had my back.  I felt completely safe around Torey.

Matt was a different story.  He was thin, wiry, and exuded a sleazy energy.  I didn’t like talking to him, sitting next to him, or interacting with him in any way.  He was arrogant, aggressive, and conniving.  Just a bad vibe all the way around.  I was glad he didn’t sit behind me because he gave me the creeps and I wouldn’t have been able to concentrate knowing he was staring at me during class.

What I didn’t know about either of these guys, however, was that by the end of 10th grade, both of them would be on trial for pre-meditated, first degree murder.

It happened a few months before the end of the school term.  Both Torey and Matt were absent for 5 days in a row.  I knew they sometimes ditched class, but not that many in a row.  Then I started hearing rumors that Torey and Matt had murdered someone and were evading police.  No.  Just a silly rumor started by stupid high school kids with nothing better to do than gossip.  Then I saw it on the news and couldn’t deny it was real any longer.  Torey and Matt had been arrested for the murder of Torey’s mother.  I was in shock.  Complete and utter shock!  It didn’t seem possible.  It took a while, but I eventually got the entire story.

During his entire childhood, Torey was the victim of physical and emotional abuse by his mother.  His mom was single, abused drugs and alcohol, and often sold herself to men for money.  Sometimes when Torey was a little boy, his mother would lock him in the car while she went into bars to pick up men who would pay her for sex, or who would accept sex in exchange for drugs.  Torey sometimes sat in the backseat while his mom had sex in the front seat with her men.  Even though Torey grew to a great size, he was completely cowed by his mother’s power over him. 

Torey had a little brother who was 8 years old at the time of the murder.  Torey loved his little brother desperately and often took beatings for him so the kid wouldn’t have to suffer like he had at that age.  There was no question that Torey was wrecked emotionally.  It didn’t matter that he could easily overpower his mother.  She had his spirit licked and broken.

Matt apparently knew about all the abuse and told Torey he should take matters into his own hands.  Torey revealed that his mother was planning to kick him out of the house when he turned 18, and that scared him because he would then be unable to protect his little brother.  Matt suggested to Torey that they kill Torey’s mom and try to make it look like an accident.  In desperation, Torey went along with the idea.  Their plan was to choke Torey’s mom in the middle of the night, put her in her car, send it down an embankment, and make sure it caught on fire, so the body would show no evidence of how she really died.  But they ran into some difficulty.

The night of the murder, Matt and Torey went into his mother’s room in the middle of the night.  Matt held a pillow over her face, while Torey climbed on top of her and wrapped his big hands around her neck and started choking her.  They did this for a while before she went limp.  Unbeknownst to them, she was only unconscious, not dead.  While they were preparing to get the body into the car, she woke up and started screaming bloody murder.  This woke Torey’s little brother who came to see what was going on.  Matt subdued the 8-year-old boy and tied him up with ropes and gagged him.  Meanwhile, Torey tackled his mother.  Matt ran and got a shovel from the fireplace and they used it to club her over the head until she was dead.  Brutal!

They put the mother’s body into her car, wrapped in the bloody sheets from the bed.  Their plan was for one of them to drive to the embankment while the other followed in another car.  Then they would push the car over the side, make sure it caught fire, and go home in the other car.  That was the plan before, but they quickly realized they had a little problem.  What to do with the little brother?  Matt said they had to kill him too since he was a witness.  That’s when Torey put his foot down and said that no way was he going to allow his little brother to be killed.  But Matt insisted it was the only way to keep them out of jail.  Torey put his protesting little brother into the trunk while Matt prepared the mother’s body.  Torey loosened the ropes that bound his kid brother and made sure the trunk wasn’t closed all the way.  He explained to the frightened child to wait until they pushed the car over the edge of the hill, then to climb out before it caught fire and hide in the brush until they were gone.  Thankfully, the terrified child somehow managed to escape and do just that.

Torey and Matt were caught by the police when the little brother told the cops everything he knew.  Torey and Matt were arrested quickly.  Torey was 17 but it was decided that since it was a pre-meditated murder, he would be tried as an adult.  Matt was 16 and was tried as a minor.  Matt turned on Torey and gave evidence against him in exchange for a much lighter sentence of 2 years in a Juvenile Detention Center.  It was found out later that Matt wasn’t even who he said he was.  He was already a wanted criminal in other states and had adopted an entirely new identity when he came to my high school.  After a lengthy trial where Torey’s little brother testified to the abuse and also testified to the fact that Torey killed his mother, Torey was given a sentence of 25 years to life in a maximum security prison.  He escaped the death penalty only because he saved his little brother from certain death.

I remember feeling like all of this was terribly wrong.  Yeah, he brutally murdered his mother and deserved to go to jail for that.  But Matt got off way too easy.  Torey wasn’t some hardened violent criminal who needed to be locked up for the good of society.  He was trying to rescue his little brother from an abusive life.  But he made a deal with the devil, and made a really bad choice, all because of Matt’s encouragement and planning.  If Torey had opened up to someone else, things could have gone differently.  I was sad for Torey.

After his arrest, Torey was spurned by everyone at school.  Only I and one other friend felt Torey didn’t deserve the severity of his punishment.  They just didn’t know him like we knew him.  My friend told me we were allowed to write to Torey and send him gifts, so we immediately sent him letters, books, and sweet treats to help him endure jail.  He wrote back to us often and told us the entire story of what happened, which is why I know so many of the details. He told us he was getting along okay in jail because he was a pretty big guy and most people assumed he was tough because he was in jail for pre-meditated murder so they left him alone.

The oddest thing about Torey was how happy he was.  He told us he finally felt free (ironically), because his mother couldn’t hurt him anymore.  And he was extremely happy that his brother had gotten away from the car and wouldn’t have to endure the abuse he suffered as a child.  To protect his brother, he killed his mother.  It was a sad story all the way around.

My friend and I continued to write to Torey and send him anything and everything we could think of to make his incarceration more bearable.  Torey was grateful for every communication and gift we sent him.  I remember him joking that he was glad he wouldn’t have to take the Geometry final. 

In class there were two empty seats: one in front of me and one behind me.  I remember people asking me questions like, “Are you freaked out that you were sitting between two murders for months?  Torey could have stabbed you in the back just for the hell of it!”

No.  They didn’t understand Torey.  But I did.  A lost, broken soul, doing everything he could to protect his baby brother from harm.  The murder was the decision of a desperate person.  I don’t think he deserves to spend the rest of his life in jail.  I believe true justice was lost in the letter of the law in Torey’s case.

I sometimes think of Torey and wonder how he’s getting along, if being in jail has hardened his gentle soul.  While I’ve gone on to have a wonderful life full of blessings and kindness and love, he’s been locked up, staring at gray walls and prison bars.  My mother made me stop writing to Torey when she found out I was regularly corresponding with a murderer.  Even she didn’t understand that I would never see Torey as a murderer.  He was my friend.  He was kind to me.  And he had my back.

That happened 25 years ago.  I wonder if Torey is free now.  I hope so.

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

Related posts:

1. How to Feel Good When Bad Things Happen
2. Imaginary Friends: Who are they really?
3. Growing Up Without Religion

You state your opinion like it’s fact
An energy vampire can have very strong opinions.  They’re usually pretty proud of their opinions and treat them like facts.  Have you ever said something like this to someone, “Those shoes are so ugly. I can’t believe you’d even consider wearing them outside.  I can’t go out with you if you’re going to wear those.  Look, I’m just trying to protect you from embarrassment.”  How do you think the person to whom you were speaking felt about that statement?  Did you justify it by saying, “Hey it’s only my opinion but seriously, those shoes are fugly dude.”  You’re squashing someone’s energy when you state negative opinions as if they are facts. 

If you don’t like their shoes, or something else about them, keep it to yourself, gently suggest an alternative in a way that empowers them (“Hey I think you’d look smokin’ hot in those black pumps.”), or keep your opinion to yourself.  An opinion that does not empower someone is an energetic attack on that person.

You complain endlessly about your problems
When you manage to get someone on the phone to talk to you, or someone to dine with, what comes out of your mouth?  Do you share the good news and positive things going on in your life or do you drive right over to complaint city and pick up a six pack of grievances to share with your friend?  “Oh my god, my boss is a total schmuck. He asked me to stay late one day this week to finish something that I was supposed to have done earlier.  I mean, I’m a human being, I can’t do everything.  What does he expect?  And when I asked for a raise, do you know what he said?  He said I hadn’t earned it yet.  That’s ridiculous.  So what if I don’t stay late and finish my work, right?  They’re not paying me overtime so why should I do anything for them?”  And so on.  If your friend is nodding politely while desperately ordering a third martini, you might be an energy vampire. 

Think back over your interactions with others and see if you use others as a complaint department.  If so, try to see the bright side of your life and only share that which is empowering to you.  It can turn your life around and save your friend from a life of alcoholism.

You throw pity parties every day of the week
Also known as “poor me” syndrome is the pity party.  Ever hear something like this coming out of your mouth?  “I broke the heel on my shoe crossing the street.  No one even stopped to help me.  I would ask my boss for a raise but I’m sure he’d just tell me no.  I can’t get my dates to call me back, and I don’t understand it.  I mean, I’m reasonably attractive and I don’t smell, so how come guys never call me after a date?  There’s no way I’m going  to have enough money in my retirement fund to get through the end of my life.  I’ll probably have to just kill myself in 10 years so I don’t go broke.”  Cue the violins, get the tissues, and let’s all say it together, “How sad for you.  This is terrible.  I don’t know how you go on.” 

When you play the victim you’re asking other people to use their energy to uplift and hold you in a higher vibration.  How long do you think they can do that before they’re drained too?  How long do you think your friends will be willing to do that when you drain them so badly?  You can ask your friends for help, but you must accept their help.  If you don’t, you’re just out for a quick fix, and your life is still going to suck the next day.

You wield guilt like a weapon of mass destruction
A Jewish man calls his mother in Florida.  “Hi Mom, how are you?”  “Not too good,” says the mother.  “I’ve been very weak.”  The son says, “Why are you so weak?”  She replies, “Because I haven’t eaten in 38 days.”  “Mama,” the man says, “that’s terrible.  Why haven’t you eaten in 38 days?”  The mother answered, “Because I didn’t want my mouth to be filled with food if you should call.” 

And that my friends is how you wield guilt like a weapon of mass destruction.  If you seek to lower someone to the vibration of shame or guilt, on purpose, you are engaging in energy vampirism.  If you need someone to feel guilty so that you can feel good or justified then you are using emotional manipulation to take energy from others.  If you want to make a point there are other ways.  Example, “Son, I love hearing about all the great things going on in your life, and I’d love it if we could talk on the phone at least once a week so I don’t miss anything.  What do you say?”

You spread fear around like it’s going out of style
Like a good conspiracy theory?  Is the government out to get us?  Is the economy going to hell in a hand basket?  Do you start your conversations like this, “Did you hear about how the dollar is failing and we’re all going to be standing in bread lines soon?  What do you think?  Should we start stockpiling gold?”  Do you carry fear around with you like a bag of treats, ready to share with anyone and everyone willing to listen?  “Carrie, did you hear that the company is downsizing and laying people off right and left?  Do you think we’re going to get fired?  I don’t know about you but if that happens I’m really screwed.  I don’t know what I would do.  I’m totally freaking out about it.  Should I just quit and try to find another job now or…” 

Don’t spread fear like it’s fact. Don’t give your power to things outside your control.  And definitely don’t bring others down with your fear.  It forces your friend to try to calm you down, and that wastes vital energy.  If you need others to hold your hand, mollify you, reassure you constantly that everything’s going to be okay, you’re drawing upon their strength to do it.  Find your inner strength.  You can prepare for the worst while still planning for the best.  If something hasn’t even happened yet, why give it any of your energy?  React to things as they happen instead.  And don’t use your friends as shields.

You’re stubborn to the point of ridiculosity
I had this friend in college who was the most stubborn, opinionated person I knew.  One Friday I was at the student store and saw that the schedule for next semester had already come out even though it was supposed to come out the following Monday.  Excited, I called my friend when I got home.  Here is how our conversation went.

Me:  “Mark, the new schedule of classes is out.”
Mark: “That’s impossible.  It doesn’t come out until Monday.”
Me:  “No, yeah, I know that’s what they said, but I was just at the student store and it’s out.”
Mark:  “No, that’s impossible.  You probably have last semester’s schedule.”
Me: “Uh, no, this is definitely for the upcoming semester.”
Mark:  “It probably just looks that way and was a big printing error.  You don’t have the new schedule.  It comes out on Monday.”
Me:  “Look man, I’m holding next semester’s schedule in my hands right now.  I’m looking at it with my own eyes.  I’m picking classes right now with my own brain.”
Mark:  “No you’re not.  You can’t be.  The schedule doesn’t come out until Monday.  You’re wrong.”
Me:  “Uh, okay, whatever dude.  You go wait until Monday.  I’m going to start registering for classes.”
Mark:  “Fine, you do that, but you’re picking old classes from last semester.”
Me:  “Uh, yeah, sure.  Look, I’ll uh, talk to you next week.  How about that?”

Seriously, that was a real conversation I had with a friend, who by the way is someone I now speak to about once every two years.  It’s just too frustrating to talk to him.  He’s a total drain on my energy.  Do you insist you’re right even when you know you’re wrong?  Do you refuse to bend in any direction other than your own?  Are you closed to hearing the valid opinions of others because you don’t want them to have power over you or you can’t stand to be wrong?  When you do this, you block the flow of energy between you and your friends.  Instead of a creative exchange you put up roadblocks.  This will kill any chance of energetic flow and will be a real drain on your friendship.  Stop it.  Be comfortable being wrong sometimes.  Happens to the best of us.

You never get invited to parties, lunch, or other social occasions
Lastly, you might be an energy vampire if you never get invited to spend time with others.  Clue in.  If people don’t want to be around you, there’s a reason.  You drain them, and people can only take so much before they cut you loose. 

***

It’s okay to slip into these habits sometimes, but if they’re your constant way of doing business with your friends, relatives, and co-workers pretty soon you’re going to be all alone with no one to complain to.  Friends are a great resource.  Friends can lift you up when real tragedy strikes.  Friends can raise your self esteem and help you find creative solutions to your problems.  But if all you do is squash their energy or take their energy without giving any back, eventually they’re going to be so depleted they’ll have to dwell elsewhere.  Don’t be an energy vampire, be a battery instead.  Charge people up, ignite them to action, support them when the chips are down, encourage them to reach their potential.  If you are supportive, caring, and encouraging you’ll have friends.  Who wouldn’t want that around?

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

Related posts:

1. How To Spot and Get Rid of an Energy Vampire
2. My Encounter with the Astral Vampire
3. Does the energy of your sitter affect the intuitive reading?

First let’s make a list of the people in your life so we can identify the fangsters.  Start with the people you interact with on a daily basis, then a weekly basis, then on occasion, and so forth.  Next to those names you’ll have three columns.  First column reads “uplifts me.”  Second column reads, “neutral.”  And the third column reads, “drains me.”  Then get busy putting check marks in the appropriate column for each person on your list.  If you’re having trouble figuring out which column they belong in, think about your last interaction with them and ask yourself if you felt better, the same or worse after that interaction. 

Once your list is done take a long hard look at it and see who you’re hanging out with.  Any vamps?  Yes?  Let’s see about neutralizing their power.  I know what you’re going to say… “But some of these vamps are my friends, my family, my BOSS!  How am I supposed to just get rid of them?”  You have three options on how to deal with an energy vampire, including how to handle it when escape seems impossible.

First, figure out if you could cut the person out of your life.  If it’s a friend, write him a letter letting him know you simply can’t be friends with him anymore as you no longer like the person you become when you’re with him.  It’s hard, yeah, but keeping these people in your life is going to drain you dry.  It’s not worth it.  Once you kick them out of your life, new more upbeat friends will fill the gap.  If it’s a boss, find another job with someone you’d prefer working with.  I know, this may take time.  So take the time.  It’s your life, your power, make a change!  If the vamp is a relative, begin curtailing your contact with them.  If the relationship is seriously abusive consider cutting them out of your life completely.  There’s no law that says you have to be friends with your family.

Second, if you can’t cut them out of your life you’ve got to learn to shield against their attacks.  Never go into an interaction with the vampire until your shields are up and your emotional armor is on.  How do you do this?  First, acknowledge what’s about to happen.  “I’m going to my mom’s house, she’s going to complain about how short my hair is.”  Or “My boss is going to denigrate me in front of my staff at today’s meeting.  He always does.”  Then, prepare your response ahead of time.  “If my mom complains about my hair, I won’t defend my choice.  I’ll just let her talk herself out or change the subject.”  “If my boss complains about my performance I’ll just make a joke and deflect the negative energy.”  This is also called, “Don’t let anyone get under my skin.”  Do not sink to their level.  Let their attack hit your shield and bounce off.  Do not let them make you emotionally bleed.

Third, try to uplift the vampire to a higher vibration.  Also known as “sprinkling some fairy dust on their heads so they stop being schmucks.”    This is difficult, but it can be done.  The next time an energy vampire attacks you, try responding with love, kindness, compassion or empathy.  They hate that; takes the wind right out of their sails. “Mom, you know I still love you even when you complain about my appearance, right?”  Or “Mom, it seems like when you complain about my hair you want me to feel bad about how I make decisions in life.  Is that your intent?  To make me feel bad?”  Sometimes holding up a mirror to the vamp is enough to conquer them.  If it’s your boss, you could take him aside and say, “It seems as if during our staff meetings you often say something denigrating about me in front of everyone.  I’ll tell ya, that doesn’t feel too good, and I was wondering if you were going to continue doing that or not?”  If your friend is bringing you down and you haven’t cut her loose, say, “Girlfriend, blaming others for the problems in your life isn’t going to solve them.  Why don’t you sit down with me one day and let’s have a long talk about how we might actually pull your life together and get you to a happier place.  I really care about you and I’d rather see you happy than complaining all the time.  What do you say?” 

Energy vampires only have power if you give them power.  If you can’t stand up to a vampire, if you can’t cut their energy out of your life, or if you can’t uplift them to a new place, you’re going to suffer greatly under the onslaught of their darkness.  You’ll find your own self esteem falling, you’ll stop feeling empowered in areas where you used to feel great, and eventually you’ll be a puddle of emotional jelly and everyone will step on you.  If you need help staving off the advances of an energy vampire, ask a high vibration friend to help you.  Set up an intervention on the vamp.  Be honest and clear about what they do to others, maybe they don’t realize it. 

Work on your list until at least 90% of the people on it are in the uplift or neutral column.  Don’t suffer the energy vampires.  You’re not obligated to be their punching bag.  You can’t rescue someone who is drowning by jumping into the water with them.  They’ll just pull you down too.  Throw them a life preserver, encourage them to grab it, offer to pull them to shore, but do not let them pull you down.

And whatever you do, don’t feed them after midnight.

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

Related posts:

1. My Encounter with the Astral Vampire
2. Does the energy of your sitter affect the intuitive reading?
3. Do you believe Jesus Christ is the Son of God born of a virgin?

Polyamory
Last year was a strange year for me.  When Steve and I announced we were going to try polyamory there was a firestorm of response, which was expected, of course, but the degree was off the chart.  I can recall headlines on other blogs that said something about “Steve Pavlina Cheats on Wife” and the like.  I think what bothered me most were the lies being told about us.  I don’t mind when people write factual things about us, but when people tell bald-faced lies based on no research of the facts, and then their readers believe them and make judgments based on those lies, then I cry foul.  I learned last  year how celebrities in tabloids must feel and I developed great empathy for them.  I say to you now, don’t believe what you read unless it comes straight from the source or the source’s representative.  You don’t want to go through life believing lies.  I know I don’t.

The truth is that polyamory was awesome.  Not because either of us actually slept with someone outside our relationship (for the record, neither of us ever had sex with another person at any time during our 15+ years together), but because we opened ourselves up to greater emotional intimacy with others.  I was blissful during the first 9 months of 2009 as we explored polyamory.  We learned that compromise just makes both people unhappy.

Separation
So if I was so blissful for the first 9 months, what happened to cause a separation?  Steve and I realized we had developed incompatible lifestyle goals that were making it difficult for us to have a life together.  To generalize a little, Steve is always wanting to push the edge, to explore, experiment, grow, and change.  He gets bored with routine.  I, on the other hand, prefer routine and stability.  I like to build on what I already have, not tear down the monument and start building again.  While Steve loves to travel, I can take it or leave it.  Steve wants to see the world.  I’d like to see England, Ireland, and Scotland, but other than that I feel no strong desire to travel.  Wish I did, but I don’t.  Steve wants to immerse himself in different cultures, and I want to set down roots in a single community and get to know everyone for years.  I’d also like to keep my kids in one school instead of moving them around so much.  Kyle is only 6 years old and he’s lived in 5 homes.  I loved stability growing up and wanted to provide that for my kids too.

Steve and I are great friends and probably always will be.  To preserve our friendship, and to preserve our relationship, we had to end the marriage contract; the contract that says we stay together no matter what, no matter who we become or what our preferences are.  It became like shackles around our ankles, where neither one of us could grow in the direction we wanted.  So we decided to separate, amicably.  We basically freed each other of the shackles so we could each explore what we want without compromise.  And that has felt great to both of us.  We don’t hate each other, and we didn’t separate because we were fighting all the time.  On the contrary, there was so much love between us that we recognized we would each be happier outside the marriage.  The resentments are gone, the restrictions are gone, and now we can go back to connecting in the areas where we are compatible, and not feeling honor bound to connect in ways we don’t want to anymore.

Health Goal
At the beginning of 2009 I set a health and wellness goal.  I learned a lot this year, like never to announce a health and wellness goal in a public blog.   I was overloaded with contradictory advice that served only to confuse me.  I had moderate successes in my health goal.  I ended the year at roughly the same weight I started.  My overall health improved, however, as in 2008 I was a real mess of problems that are all fixed now.  I’ve had to start working out from home as now that I have the kids full time I can’t spend 2 hours every morning driving to and working out at the gym unless I want to cut 2 hours out of my work schedule for the day.  I’ve started doing my old Tae Kwon Do workout which is intense, and I’m lifting weights at home thanks to a weight set Steve got me for Christmas.  I will not be blogging about health and wellness this year.  Just watch the Facebook photo to see how things are changing.

Business Goals
My main focus this year is going to be to ramp up my business.  Right now I’ve got the blog and the intuitive readings.  The blog is free and the readings are up there in price.  I’d like to create something in the middle.  To that end, my plans include creating CDs, doing teleconferences, a workshop, and an audio program.  I will continue blogging, and I’m planning to do at least 4 YouTube videos each month (subscribe to my channel now). I will be on stage with Steve during the Conscious Growth Workshop coming up January 15-17, and I may be involved in future workshops he produces, depending on many factors.

Currently, I’m working on a CD that I intend to release this month.  If you signed up for my newsletter you received my free ebook, 10 Ways to Raise Your Vibration in Under 10 Minutes, which people seemed to really love.  Due to high demand, I’m recording an audio version of the ebook that will include two guided meditations that are under 10 minutes each that you can use to raise your vibration very quickly.  It will be available on CD and as an MP3 download.  If you want to know when the CD comes out and you’re not used to visiting my site daily looking for a new blog entry, be sure to sign up for the newsletter right away.

Personal Goals
My personal goals are related to courage, power and authority, the side of the TLP triangle that is weakest for me.  My new motto this year is “just do it.”  I have a tendency to shy away from things that require boldness and courage, so this year I’m going full steam ahead.  If it’s fun, I’m doing it.  If it’s exciting, I’m doing it.  If it’s crazy, I’m filming it!   Going to the gun range with a friend was an example of something I’ve always wanted to try but never did.  We’ll be going back soon to try an automatic rifle. I know, it’s crazy right?  Which is why I’ll be filming it!  I’m also joining the local Improv Troupe, which is something Steve did years ago that he says really helped him with his public speaking, so now it’s my turn.  I’m going to plug into my power and do all the things I want to do but have been too nervous or afraid to try.

Since our separation I’ve been spending more time socializing with friends.  That’s been really awesome!  I started a game night with friends that we host at Steve’s house.  So far we’ve done this twice.  We played poker the first time and Cranium and Charades the second time.  Our friends are all professional speakers, and some are comedians, and that makes for some really funny stuff at game night!  In a few weeks I’m going to play basketball with another toastmaster friend who found out I used to be a really kick ass basketball player.  I don’t know if I’ve “still got it” but it will be fun seeing if I do.  I also might get back into role-playing games (the pen and paper and dice kind).  I’m particularly fond of the Heroes Unlimited system, so if you’re in Vegas and you’re keen on role-playing let me know.

Summary
I think the year ahead is going to be fascinating and joyous.  I’ll be spending less time on correspondence and email (that just never ends and I can’t possibly help everyone who emails me) and more time on product creation and spreading my message to more people.  Thank you to everyone who has been so incredibly supportive to me this year.  I may not be able to respond to everyone, but as of now, I’m still able to read all the correspondence, so know that your messages to me have been wonderfully touching.  Love to you all!

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

Related posts:

1. Health and Wellness: My Primary Personal Goal This Year
2. How To Be Honest All The Time
3. Our Separation

What is one book or other source you would highly recommend for a complete beginner interested in becoming an intuitive counselor?

You’ll want to develop a very clear connection with your guides, specifically your conduit guide.  And you’ll want to be proficient in counseling.  So I would study the “How To” information of other intuitive counselors such as myself, Colette Baron-Reid, and Sonia Choquette.  Read their books or their blogs, attend their seminars, teleconferences, and workshops.  Or arrange a consult to get detailed answers to the questions that pertain to you in your individual situation.

What do colors in dreams represent?  Aura or chakra colors?  I have had two dreams in a row where the same shade of the colors green and orange have featured prominently in wedding scenes but in different contexts.

Green is the heart chakra color related to compassion, empathy, love, and connection with others.  Orange is the sacral chakra color related to relationships and emotions.  It’s no wonder you saw them at a wedding.  I’d have to know how you felt in the dream to help you better understand why these colors are coming up for you.

In times of personal woe, a lot of people have trouble connecting spiritually. How would you suggest they find comfort if they feel cut off in that way?

In times of woe is definitely when you most need your spiritual connections.  Read my free ebook: 10 Ways To Raise Your Vibration in Under 10 Minutes, which you can get instantly when you sign up for my newsletter.  Everything in there will help you reconnect with yourself and your spiritual posse on the other side very quickly.  Nothing helps me reconnect faster than sitting down to a nice virtual cup of hot chocolate and a hug from my higher self, who is a constant reminder that this too shall pass, that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, and that you can always choose love.  For long term reconnection, I highly recommend meditation and the practice of feeling blessed by keeping a gratitude log.

Do you have any thoughts about whether the use of antidepressants inhibits a person’s intuitive abilities and/or psychic development?

I’ve never been on antidepressants nor have I known someone who has tried to utilize their intuitive abilities while on antidepressants, so I could only hazard a guess.  Anything that impairs your vibration or ability to connect with your guides is going to impair or inhibit your intuitive abilities and your psychic development, whether that’s alcohol, drugs, shame, fear, anger, anxiety, guilt, etc.  To effectively utilize your psychic faculties you’ll want to be as clear as you can.

What are the top two or three inspiring books you read in 2009?

Most of the books I read in 2009 were related to health and relationships, but I wouldn’t say any of them were particularly inspiring; rather I would say they were informative.  One of my goals in 2010 is to catch up and brush up on the spiritual books out there.  First up is Conversations with God, which I’ve never read, but now feel called to read.  I’m just going to pop by the Hay House website and see what they’ve got on tap.

How do you deal with a deceased person who keeps coming into your dreams and insists she is not dead?

Whoa.  Talk about violation of personal space!  If it were me, I would show them the door, which in this case is the light.  Help them crossover by gently suggesting they are in fact dead, and I would ask the angels to guide them to the other side.  I encountered a fellow many years ago who didn’t know he was dead.  It took me 5 tries to convince him he was dead.  If they won’t go, find out if there is unfinished business they’d like you to help them tie up.  That might be enough to get them to cross over peacefully. 

And what’s your take on crystal healing?

I don’t have a lot of experience with crystal healing.  I recall when I was a teenager trying to use crystals to heal myself when I was ill or in pain.  It never seemed to work, so either it doesn’t work or I was doing it wrong.  My jury is still out on crystals.  I haven’t worked with them enough to tout their benefits just yet.

In order to heal deep emotional wounds do we need people or life situations to open up (trigger) those wounds in order for us to heal them?

No I don’t believe so.  You are capable of deciding how you want to feel about the past, the present, and the future.  It isn’t always easy to hold a loving energy towards a situation, event or person, but it’s always possible.  I find that asking the pain why it’s there is important, and learning the lesson is important too.  Pain and difficulty come when we resist what is, when our expectations are violated, when we feel victimized.  I have found that accepting responsibility for my thoughts, feelings, and actions is very helpful in healing old wounds, as is asking myself how I’d like to feel about the situation.

Does hanging around people with a lower vibration lower my vibrational frequency? And do I have the capacity to become immune?

If you are in a high vibrational state like love, peace, or gratitude and you hang around with someone in a lower vibrational state like anger, for example, then either your vibration will drop or theirs will be raised, or you can both maintain your vibrations if that is your desire.  It is not automatic that yours will lower or theirs will raise.  Guarding against those whose energy lowers ours, though, is something I highly recommend.  Learn how to maintain your higher vibrational state when you are around those who might pull you down.  Be an example for them.  I think we all have the capacity to choose the frequency at which we want to vibrate, but I haven’t personally met anyone yet who doesn’t occasionally drop into a lower vibration.

What is the most empowering lesson that you’ve learned so far from your recent separation? (I hope it’s not too personal or too soon to ask) I just think more people need to see that you can find personal power in “negative” situations. I believe you have a good perspective on life and can get that message across.

Great question.  Most empowering lesson is that I’m learning to rely on myself.  Expressing my own power and authority.  It feels great.  A little scary, but ultimately awesome!  I kill my own spiders, open my own jars, set up my own electronics, I’m a rockstar!    My relationship with Steve is like energy, it was not destroyed in our separation, it merely changed form.  And I’m enjoying getting reacquainted with parts of me that were buried in the relationship.  I’m remembering the power of my own message and am looking forward to sharing it more often and more deeply with my readers.

I have been working on my ability to tune into various energies, such as my guides, angels, and environment. However I am not exactly sure specifically how to tune myself in, outside of guided meditations and visualization. Besides simply concentrating and focusing on that which I want to tune into, can you describe in detail the general “tuning in” process? Sometimes it feels as if I cannot locate my station changing knob.

Tuning in is usually the easy part.  The hard part is trusting that you are tuned in to the being you’re trying to communicate with, being able to interpret and understand what you’re receiving, and having the confidence to act upon it.  Unfortunately it’s beyond the scope of this article to go into the kind of detail we’d need to go into, but I would say to continue to have long conversations with your guides (the longer you go the more tuned in you will be), write down what they’re telling you or showing you, act on it, and see what results you get.  You can also ask your guides to help you tune in better, then get out of your own way (and your own logic) and let them show you how to hear them best.

How can you distinguish the voices of your higher self/spirit guides from those of your ego or mind chatter?

Read this article I wrote on this subject: How To Tell the Difference Between Your Ego, Logic, Spirit Guides and Intuition.

How can you learn to control your visions/premonitions/clarsentience, such as recurring ones happening only when touching a certain person/animal, that will fade when you ask questions instead of giving answers?

If you’re getting repeated visions or premonitions there’s obviously a strong warning in that.  If something you’re seeing is going to come to pass you can either try to prevent it or you can get ready to deal with it.  If you no longer want to receive the premonitions you’ll have to shut down your psychic radio and stop tuning in.  That’s sometimes easier said than done, but maintaining control of when you get information and when you don’t is important.  I had to learn how to stop receiving communication from my guides and deceased people when I wasn’t officially working.  Now my guides can reach me in case of emergency or urgency or when I’m working.  It takes a strong spirit to get my attention when I’m not working.  It does happen but it’s rare now.  Work with your guides.  Tell them what you want and need.  Sometimes I get a metaphor for someone that I just don’t understand and I ask the guides to give it to me again a different way.  This is a two way street.  Let them know what you want and what you can handle and ask them to ease off if you don’t like the kind of communication you’re getting.

Do you have a perspective on ‘protection’ – i.e. managing your field and energy both during sessions and when at parties or out and about like new year’s eve?

Great question.  I was recently at a casino in the evening (rare for me) as I was going to a club to hear a comedian.  I immediately realized I was way too open to be there comfortably.  So many people walking around in a state of arousal, excitement, debauchery, alcohol … many of who had nefarious intentions.  Just a lot of low vibration people (not to say everyone there was that way!  Heaven’s no, but definitely a bunch of energies I don’t normally enjoy being around).  So I had to close my “door” so to speak so I wouldn’t be affected by their energy.  First, I closed up my chakras to be tighter in my body.  So the size of an orange instead of the usual size of a basketball I’m used to.  Then I had to close off my energy by erecting an energy shield around me.  You know the kind I’m talking about, the one that says, “leave me alone” or “I’m not the droid you’re looking for. Move along.”  With practice you can do this too.

When I’m working, it’s the opposite.  I open my chakras very wide and connect them with the infinite divine.  I only do this under the protection of my work environment – my White Room – and in the presence of my conduit guide, Bob.  Managing energy is very important in life.  If you’re too open in a room full of lower vibrational people, you can easily pick up on their energy and take it home with you, much like when I’m in a casino and come home wreaking of smoke even though I never touched a cigarette.

If someone is interested in becoming a psychic medium/intuitive counselor, what should they do on a daily/regular basis to achieve that goal? (besides meditate)

Connect with your conduit guide.  Practice giving readings to friends and family.  Get feedback on your methods.  Then practice on total strangers.  Keep refining your process until you’re very confident in your ability to tune in for anyone.  Let your guides teach you as well.  Raise your vibration and keep it high when you are working.  Don’t be afraid of making mistakes; they will happen.  Don’t be afraid of failure.  Just keep working at it until you are comfortable with the results.

Do you have any new year’s resolutions? 

No.  Not sure I like the whole New Year’s Resolution thing, but I do like writing out my goals for the year, so I’ve already done some work on that.  This year will be all about creating products, teleconferences, more videos, and maybe a workshop or two.

When you give a reading, has anyone ever had and shared a psychic hit on you?  What is the etiquette for that sort of happening?

Do you mean that while I’m giving a reading someone gets information for me?  Yes that has happened a few times.  I do read for a lot of other psychics and mediums, some of them in training and some of them relatively famous.  I also read for clients who are just really intuitive.  And on occasion someone will tell me, usually at the end of the reading, some information they’re getting about me.  I don’t mind receiving it, so I’m happy when that happens.  I’ve also had very intuitive friends and colleagues send me impromptu information they’re getting about me.  I like that too.

The other morning, not quite awake, I heard a woman’s voice call my name very distinct accent, I’m sure it was my spirit guide. How do I hear more, like answers to questions?

The time between sleeping and becoming awake is often a time when we pick up on snatches of conversation at another frequency.  It could have been a spirit guide, or it could have been an auditory hallucination, or a hypnogogic hallucination.  It’s a hard time to get answers to questions.  I would work on lucid dreaming if you want to use your sleep time to communicate with your guides.

Could you ask your guides about free will? Say if you wanted to pray for the protection of someone or if you wanted to perform distance healing, would the angels/guides be limited in helping those people because the request doesn’t come from them directly?

Curses and prayers get through with equal effectiveness.  They either bounce off someone’s aura or they impact.  Whether it happens or not depends on the vibration and intention of the person receiving the curse or prayer or healing for that matter.  You can accept or reject either “gift.” 

If you have a reading that states a possibility for your future, but then a decision you make changes the ending, will the universe bring you back on track somehow?

Depends on whether you want it to or not and if you’re a vibrational match for the path you desire.  Like you’ve correctly presupposed, you can change your future, it is not set in stone.  If, during a reading, a psychic tells you something is likely to happen, you can take steps to alter that outcome.  Just change course.  If, however, you change course but you’re still a vibrational match for that thing happening, you could easily slip back into your old trajectory.  At all times and in all ways you are responsible for the outcome of your decisions.  So always think carefully as you move along the path. 

Do you believe in Jesus?

Depends on your definition.  I believe there is a highly conscious being (one of many actually) who incarnated on Earth to help remind us of who we really are.  I’m not sure when he lived or how many times he’s been back since.  I’ve encountered an energy on the other side that felt like the Christ energy to me, and it was quite humbling.  When I think of Jesus, I think of the highly ascended consciousness.  We are all One, so if you believe in Jesus I hope you look in the mirror and see him staring back at you.  You have access to all of his wisdom and power.

Can psychic powers be gained with yoga and your views on Yogic siddhis?

Psychic powers could be accessed while you’re doing yoga, sure.  Anything that puts you in a higher vibration or balances your mind, body or spirit will help you in the development of your psychic faculties.  I don’t know what a Yogic Siddhi is, so I’ll defer to those who know more on that subject.

***

If you want to discuss any of these answers, there’s a forum thread for this blog entry.  Head on over and let’s hear what you’ve got to say!

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

Related posts:

1. Quick Answers to Quick Questions Part 2
2. More Quick Questions and Answers
3. Quick Answers to Quick Questions Part 3

What IS a soul mate?
The most common definition of a soul mate is the person you are destined to marry. You guys arrange to incarnate together, and you incarnate every time in every life and hook up, make babies, and live happily ever after. This would be great if it were true, but it’s not really how things work.

So do soul mates exist at all then?
In a way they do and in a way they don’t. We’ll have to reclassify the definition a little. It’s true that before you incarnate you make arrangements with certain other souls to meet, connect, and have some kind of impact on each other. You might even end up marrying one of these souls, but it’s not necessary to satisfy the arrangement or plan you had with them. All that is intended to happen is a connection. So our new definition of soul mate should be closer to this: A soul mate is a person you have a soul connection with whom you decide to interact with on a permanent or semi-permanent basis.

So what’s a soul connection then?
There are infinite souls out there, all extensions of Source. Let’s use an analogy. If we’re all cells in the Body of Humanity, we’re all ultimately connected with each other the same way a liver cell is ultimately connected with a heart cell. But if you’re a heart cell, for example, you’ll find yourself resonating more closely with other heart cells. You may not have much connection with a liver cell if you’re a heart cell, but it’s okay, there’s no bad blood between you. You just don’t hang with each other much.

So when you incarnate, you may recognize some of the cells in your posse. “Hey, don’t we know each other from somewhere? Oh I remember, you’re a heart cell. Me too! Yo, my brother! What’s the haps?” These are soul connections. People you recognize because you know each other from the ether. You’ll feel drawn to them. You may have even pre-arranged a meeting because you have business together. You’ll have soul connections with potentially hundreds of people in any incarnation. You may not meet them all, but they’re here. These soul connections are with people in what we call a soul group.

So who am I supposed to marry? Someone from my soul group?
It’s very common for people to fall in love with people with whom they have a soul connection. It’s a natural extension of the fondness you feel for them and the familiarity you have with them. Sometimes this fondness results in a commitment, like marriage. Sometimes it becomes a business partnership. Sometimes you are just amazing friends. Think about it. Don’t you know a few people in your life that you feel very close to but they aren’t your spouse? Haven’t you known someone in your past who had a huge impact on the course of your life but maybe you don’t even keep in touch now? A teacher? A mentor? A friend? Probably members of your soul group.

Do you always marry someone from your soul group?
No, but I do think it’s more likely. These are people you’ll have a natural attraction towards. These are people you’ll recognize on some level. But you could be a heart cell who marries a liver cell and you can live happily ever after too.

So how am I supposed to find “the one?”
There is more than one “one.” It’s probably religion that has indoctrinated us to believe we’re supposed to find one person and settle down for the rest of our lives. So of course you want to find the right “one.” Totally understandable. But let me reassure you that there are scads of people on this planet who would make a good partner for you. It all depends on what you want, what they want, and if you’re at Starbucks when they are. Don’t get caught up with the idea that if you can’t find the “one” that you are doomed to be alone the rest of your life. Just find one of the “ones” and you’ll be fine.

Weren’t you and Steve soul mates?
I’ve probably alluded to that in other blog entries. I’m certain Steve and I pre-arranged our connection here. I’m certain we are members of the same soul group. I know our souls are deeply connected, and I know our mission here is well aligned. But I also know there are other people in our group out there too. As we drift around in this incarnation, we’ll keep ourselves open to interacting with them. Restricting ourselves to one connection in each life is so unnecessary. Don’t do it to yourself either. Keep yourself open to meeting anyone and everyone with whom you have a connection. Open yourself to what you could gain by interacting with cells outside your soul group too.

Is there a way to find people in our soul group more easily?
Yes there is. Go where they are. Seriously. Tune in to your soul group. What kind of work do they do? What sort of philosophy of life do they probably have? Where are they likely to feel most comfortable? Most called? It’s probably similar to you. I’ve found one of the best places to find people in a soul group is conferences and seminars. If you’re interested in something, chances are the members of your soul group are interested too. Workshops, conferences, retreats, gatherings, groups, are all great places to start your search. When I first went to Hay House’s I Can Do It Conference it was like a soul group reunion! Oh my heavens, I felt like I’d found my tribe. Once I had that experience I started going to anything and everything where these people were likely to go. The Conscious Growth Workshop is another good place to find high awareness, conscious folks eager to grow. I’ve found members of my soul group at Toastmasters. You might find some at the gym, a yoga class, or at art school. They’re out there.

So the next time you ask a psychic where your soul mate is, I hope she says, “They’re all around you. Pick one. What kind of connection are you seeking at this time in your life?” An intuitive should be able to help you find one, but I hope you understand now that it won’t be the one and only.

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

Related posts:

1. Do you believe in Soul Mates?
2. Do We Choose Our Children?
3. Reincarnation and Population Growth

Mutual Decision
Our decision to end the marriage was definitely mutual.  I haven’t been kicked to the curb, cast out, or anything like that.  Our desires in life are no longer as compatible as they were in our early years.  We both want to live in ways that the other is not interested in, so we were constantly compromising what we wanted to make the other person happy, which left neither of us truly happy.  I urge you to examine your own situation to see if anything like that is happening in your relationship.  Do you have to quell your strongest desires in order to be with your committed partner?  While there is something to be said for honoring a commitment, there is no way to know long ago what you might want today.  When you’re no longer compatible or desire the same things in life, I think it’s time to let go and find your true happiness.

What We Still Share
Steve and I are still friends.  We enjoy each other’s company, and still have a lot in common.  We both share a strong desire to help raise the consciousness of the planet.  For me, I want to help people reconnect with their higher selves, remember where they came from, and realize that we are all connected and we are all One.  Our life purposes are still quite compatible.  That isn’t enough to maintain a marriage or living arrangement though.  This is why, at least for the time being, we intend to continue working together and helping each other with our goals and missions in life.

Did you see it coming?
Some people want to know if I saw this coming because I’m psychic.  I saw this coming because I was there.  It didn’t take foresight to see that we were both compromising our desires to meet in the middle.  But it did take courage and conscious thought to realize our commitment to the institution of marriage wasn’t nearly as important as our commitment to our passions, desires, and goals.  The marriage had to go so we could both express ourselves freely and fully.

But aren’t you sad?
I’m sad about some things and very happy about others.  My friend, Vicki, helped me see that what I was grieving was the old story, and how I thought that story would end.  Metaphorically, it’s like I was writing a book and someone just took the book out of my hand and handed me a blank set of pages.  I have a new story to write.  Doesn’t mean the old story wasn’t great, I just need to take the story in a new and more powerful direction.  I’m not depressed and I’m not spending my days in tears.  There is a definite relief in the fact that we are keeping what’s best about us and removing the thorns that caused us to bleed.  If sadness wants to come, I will let it and honor it.  If anger wants to come, I will let it and honor it.  I will keep myself open and let the emotions run through me and not bury them.  I have the most amazing friends who have been supportive and loving, and I truly appreciate all the well wishes I’ve received since we made our announcement.

What about the kids?
We know that separation is hard on children.  We believe that staying in a marriage with lots of conflict is worse.  We believe we’ll both relate to the children better because we’ll both be happier people.  I am keeping a close eye on the children.  We’re doing a lot of talking and processing.  In the coming weeks I’ll be looking for resources and information on how to help children cope with divorce.  They will be loved and nurtured.  And if they need more help, they’ll get it.  Their teachers and school counselors are aware of our situation and I’m communicating daily with them to make sure the kids are doing okay.  There is a lot of laughter in our home, and I’m making sure the kids can openly express their true feelings towards us both so they feel heard.  We’ll do the best we can with what we’ve got to work with.  And we will heal.

What about plans for your business?
Like Steve mentioned, it’s business as usual here.  I’m helping him plan the logistics for the upcoming workshop.  I’d like to speak at the next workshop, especially to share what we’ve learned in the relationship segment.  I’m still doing readings, I’ll still write blog entries, and I’ll probably finally get around to writing a book or making that audio program that’s been languishing in my mind for eons.  The kids are in school during the week, so my working hours will remain largely the same.  I’ll be keeping my married name as that is what I’ve built my brand on.  And who knows what else lurks on the horizon for me.  The possibilities are endless!

Love and Support
I want to thank everyone who emailed me or posted their support in our forums, facebook, and twitter.  It means a lot to me to have your love and support.  I’m especially touched by the people I’ve helped over the years who are reaching back to help me now.  I gratefully accept your kindness, love and support.  Like I mentioned I have the most amazing friends, including my Toastmaster friends and the ladies in my mastermind group.  My family has been very supportive as well. 

Yes there is some sadness for what will never be, but there is also great joy in the endless possibilities that await me.  The story continues, though some of the characters may change.  The river draws me in a new direction and I will explore it daringly, while still remembering where I came from, and that I am always loved.

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

Related posts:

1. Why Do We?
2. Are You Walking Your Own Path?
3. Do you still astral project?

Steve was asked to become a member after having been nominated by a current member of the group.  Not everyone is asked to join this group, and not everyone who wants to be in this group will get an invitation, so we were both completely honored to be welcomed into this group, he as a member and me as a member spouse.

This retreat has nothing to do with making deals or trying to get anything from anyone.  It’s about giving, sharing, and being together.  It was more like a family reunion than a networking meeting.  We settled easily into the flow of this group as they were more than welcoming. 

By the end of this retreat I looked around the room and said to myself, “Wow, the world really is in good hands.”  It was like being in a room of higher selves.  Everyone there was consciously directing their growth.  They were all authentic, loving, giving, nurturing, supportive people.  There were presentations, but also a lot of singing, dancing, meditations, experiential exercises, and sharing of meals.  I never felt higher or lower than any person there.  I felt completely included and loved instantly.  It was like going Home. 

You would probably recognize many of the names of the members of this group, and some you would have never heard of because their work is in niches you’ve probably never studied.  But the names really don’t matter, it’s the work that matters.  All of these people are raising the consciousness and vibration of the people on our planet.  After meeting and getting to know them, I realized we all have the same message: Love.  It’s only in the ways we teach and express it that we differ.

This past week I saw in action the loving tendrils of Source energy who spiral out into the world, touching individuals all over the planet with Love.  This past week I was invited on stage because someone recognized that I am fearful of the stage.   She invited me up and said, “Do what you fear the most” so I started dancing, and I loved it, and I didn’t feel embarrassed or self conscious at all.  There was no judgment in that room.  And Steve got it on film too so I’ll always remember what I did.

I was transformed.  I gained courage.  I touched love. I was wrapped in this nurturing, powerful collective embrace that together said, “We can do it! We are unstoppable!  We can bring the planet to a state of Love.” 

Have you ever had one of those moments, days, or weeks that completely transformed your energy?  Where you knew you could never go back to how it used to be?  Where something just clicked and you realized you’d reached a new level of awareness, a new purpose, with new drive and passion?

The last time this happened to me was April 2006 when I discovered I was a psychic and medium.  That was a three week whirlwind of transformation that included filming for the Criss Angel show and then having Doreen Virtue read for me at Hay House’s I Can Do It event. 

So many ideas are flooding through me right now.  I can’t wait to sort through them and see what blossoms from this experience.  I am filled and overflowing with love.  And I’m going to be exploring new ways to share my message of love, oneness, and connection with the world.  Stay tuned, the best is yet to come!

P.S. If you want to see photos of the conference, I’ll probably be posting a few on my Facebook account.  Send me a friend request so you don’t miss out.

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

Related posts:

1. Mastermind Groups
2. Holiday Wishes
3. The Inner Workings of a Mastermind Group