Time and again I’ve noticed that when I play it safe, very little changes.  I make no progress towards my goals, and if that goes on too long I even start to feel stuck.  The river of your life is a constantly moving entity, pulling and tugging at you, trying to get you to your destination.  Your destination is whatever goal you’ve currently filed with the Universe.   If you don’t like your destination, submit a “change of destination” form.  But don’t sit in your boat in the river and resist the current.  It wastes time and energy. 

Often we know what our next move is but we’re simply too afraid to take it.  Sometimes courage is required.  Sometimes you have to be daring.  Sometimes you just have to say, “What the hell… I’m doing it!” and deal with the consequences.  You don’t have to run off half-cocked though.  You can take a moment to aim.  But don’t take too long.  It’s better to take a shot at something and fail then never to try at all.  In my own life, I’ve definitely seen that when I take risks they always pay off.  Not necessarily the way I thought they would, but if I fail I get a learning experience.  Don’t be afraid to fail, otherwise you’re saying you’re afraid to learn.

Imagine if you went to the shooting range for the first time.  You hold the gun tentatively in your hand, lift it to eye level, use the site to take aim at your target and fire a shot.  What’s the likelihood you’ll hit a bullseye on your first shot?  Probably pretty small.  What if you keep shooting?  Will you get better?  Of course.  What if you get instruction from someone who already knows how to shoot?  You’ll do even better when you take your own shot.  What if you learn all you can about shooting and you practice and practice?  Eventually you will hit that bullseye.  Eventually you will accomplish your goal and get where you want to go.

Last week I decided to do something I’ve always been a little afraid to do.  I wanted to face the fear head-on and see what happened.  What I did last week actually illustrates the point I made above in a pretty literal way.  I went to the gun range with a friend who taught me how to shoot a hand gun.  I know, I know… what is Erin the spiritual guru doing with a gun?  That’s pretty far from “Spiritual Wisdom for Conscious People” right?  Nah.  I’ve always been interested in self-defense, disaster preparation, and protecting myself and my loved ones.  Two decades ago I had a boyfriend who taught me how to shoot a rifle, use nunchucks and throwing stars, and how to shoot a bow.  I’ve always been fascinated, but responsible.  I filmed my trip to the gun range; you can watch it below.

(Note: First video I’m posting to YouTube.  Be kind; I’ll get better over time.  Please subscribe to my channel for future video updates if you’re a YouTube member: www.youtube.com/erinpavlinadotcom)

I challenge you to take aim at a goal you’ve been putting off and take your best shot.  Nothing is gained by procrastination.  Go out and fail a little, try a little, improve a little.  Keep shooting.  Keep learning.  Don’t stop until you reach your goal!

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

In reality, it’s your belief about death that causes you to fear it.  Do you fear death because you believe it will be the end of you, your essence, and you don’t want to end?  Do you fear death because you’ve been taught that God will judge you and  you may not fare so well?  Are you afraid you’re going to go to Hell?  Do you fear you’re going to be floating like a cloud for eternity?  Are you concerned that you might be “alive” in your body in your coffin forever?  Do you fear death because you don’t want to meet up with abusive parents on the other side?

We fear death because we don’t know what’s going to happen when we die and therefore we don’t know if we should be afraid or look forward to it.

What evidence do we have about the existence of the afterlife?  There are books that include accounts of people who have had near-death experiences, where they died, had an experience, and came back to tell of it.  Some would say they weren’t really dead if they were able to come back, so their accounts aren’t real and were probably hallucinations.  There are books that contain accounts of those who remember their past lives, suggesting there is a life, then an afterlife, then more lives.  There are those who have had out of body experiences and know that their soul can live without their body.  And of course there are mediums who communicate with those on the other side; if the dead weren’t there, how could mediums communicate with them? 

Some say near death experiences, past lives, out of body experiences, and communication with deceased relatives are hogwash.  These people have probably never experienced any of them, because I can tell you that people who have experienced them tend to have no doubts that our consciousness survives death. 

What if death was something wonderful though?  What if when you die you go to a loving, peaceful place?  What if you’re reunited with loved ones you’ve been missing terribly?  What if death releases you from pain and misery and puts you back together again, whole? 

Since most people have not had a personal experience that convinces them of the existence of an afterlife, they have no choice but to bring their dominant belief about death to the table.  What is your belief?  And do you realize that with no personal experience, you’re adopting a belief for which you have no evidence?  And if you have no evidence for it, then your belief is based on speculation.  Why speculate that something terrible happens after death instead of speculating that something wonderful happens after death?  Since you have an absence of evidence either way, why choose something that scares you?  How does that empower you? 

All of your beliefs in life should empower you.  If you lack evidence for a belief, adopt one that empowers you instead of one that scares you.   

If you want to stop fearing death, first get clarity on what  you believes happens when we die.  Then ask yourself if you have evidence to support that belief.  If not, ask yourself if there is a more empowering belief you could adopt that, if it were true, would cause you to stop fearing death.  Then adopt that belief. 

I personally don’t fear death at all.  I’ve had out of body experiences that show me that my body is just a shell that houses my soul.  I’ve communicated countless times with deceased people on the other side when I do intuitive readings for my clients, making connections with people I can’t possibly know existed.  I have memories of past lives.  And lastly, I have memories of my time between lives which I believe to be accurate.  Have I physically died in this incarnation yet?  No.  But I don’t fear death because my personal evidence strongly suggests to me that death is nothing to fear and that we do go on with our consciousness intact. 

I don’t fear death, which makes living a lot easier too.  When you aren’t afraid to die, you find you aren’t afraid to really live, because in the end, nothing can truly harm you, not even death.

Lose your fear of death today.  Adopt a new, more empowering belief about death, and then join Toastmasters to get over your fear of public speaking.

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

If you’ve been following my blog regularly you’ll know that I’ve always had a deep fear of public speaking but that I’ve been actively working on overcoming it by taking massive action in the direction of my goals.  I joined Toastmasters 3.5 years ago, I’ve volunteered to introduce Steve when he goes on stage, I recently entered and won my first toastmaster contest, I volunteered to be President of one of the largest Toastmaster clubs forcing me to speak in front of a large audience at every meeting, I did a one hour radio show, and a 90-minute video interview.  All of these actions are part of my plan to become comfortable with public and professional speaking. 

The first time I introduced Steve on stage I was so nervous.  The old me would have quit speaking right then and there.  “Forget it, that sucked, I made a fool of myself, we’re never doing that again!”  But I’ve come to learn that failures and even embarrassments are nothing to be afraid of.  You pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get back in the game.  So when Steve asked if I wanted to speak at the workshop I said yes even though it terrified me.  I knew that saying yes was the right thing to do.  I didn’t let the fear stop me.  But I told Steve that I didn’t want to prepare anything.  I wanted to be in the moment and stay fully present, not get stuck in my head trying to remember something I’d memorized.  He agreed that was best. 

During his planning he would occasionally ask me things like, “Do you want to tell your Star Trek story?”  or “Do you want to be on stage when I do the relationship segment?”  I told him to put me wherever he thought would serve the audience best.  So when the first day of the workshop rolled around, I had no idea if or when he would call me up to the stage.

It didn’t take long.  After the first break, Steve was talking about the principle of Power.  I heard him say, “I’d actually like to bring my wife Erin up on stage to tell us a story of how she successfully used her Power to accomplish a goal.”  That would be my Star Trek story.  My heart was pounding as I walked from the back of the room to the stage.  I had no idea what I was going to say, how I was going to start the story, or anything.  Earlier that day, I asked Darren LaCroix, World Champion of Public Speaking, our friend, and the guy who was introducing Steve, if he would come up on stage with me so I could feel what it might be like if I was up there.  I told him I was really nervous about speaking and asked his advice.  He said, “You’re going to be nervous when you first get here.  That’s okay.  Once you get your first laugh you’ll know the audience is with you, you’ll feel their energy, and you won’t be nervous anymore.”  I was doubtful but I absorbed the info and clung to it like a life preserver.

And so it was that I stepped on stage and began my story.  My breathing betrayed my nervousness, and I’m sure I stumbled a bit, but Darren was right.  As soon as I got my first laugh I relaxed.  I felt the audience was with me, that they wanted me to succeed, and that they were engaged in my story.  By the time I was done, which took maybe 7-8 minutes, I was actually enjoying myself.  That’s something I wouldn’t have believed possible before.  I left the stage, no longer afraid of being up there.  I began to hope Steve would call me up again.

As it turns out, Steve called me up during the career section also.  Then I did announcements daily from the stage.  Easy and very similar to what I do as president of my club, so I already had that as a reference experience.  On the third day we did indeed do much of the relationship segment together including some Q&A.  I loved it.  I wasn’t the least bit nervous.  I was happy speaking on stage.  The longest I was on stage at any one time was probably an hour or so.  Interestingly, last year my Mastermind group and I were talking about putting together a one day workshop where each of us would do an hour presentation.  I really resisted that.  I wasn’t ready.  I really didn’t think I could do it.  Now I know I could.  Why?  Because I have a reference now.  I’ve already been on stage for that long.  Yes, it was with Steve by my side, but I’m sure I could do it alone too.  I discovered that the key is to stop thinking about my personal issues and to concentrate on what I’m trying to convey to the audience.  It’s about them, not me.  My job is to share something that will benefit them.  Thoughts of how I might look or come across disappear in light of what I’m trying to give to others.

When was the last time you pushed yourself beyond your comfort zone and created a new reference experience for yourself?  What are you avoiding because you don’t think you’re ready?  How could you get ready?  What actions could you take today to make you ready for that challenge in the future?  I had to join Toastmasters 3.5 years ago to be ready for what I did this past weekend.  I’m a patient woman.  I knew if I just kept showing up to Toastmasters, participating, and giving it my all, that I would eventually get better at public speaking.  Now, I’m not just better at it, I like it. 

Don’t let fear stop you from creating the life you want.  Continue to create new reference experiences for yourself until you reach your goal.  You can take baby steps all the way, or one giant leap if that’s comfortable for you.  My next goal is to do a 1-hour presentation by myself.  I’ll use all of my reference experiences to get there.

What is your goal and what reference experiences will you use to get you there?

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

As you can imagine, my first few calls were dismal.  I wasn’t practiced with my script and fumbled a lot.  People hung up on me right quick.  But in time I started to do better.  I remember being so excited to get someone on the phone willing to do the survey.  When I was done, I proudly added a tick mark on the white board.  Our bosses kept track of how many surveys we all completed.  I was the new kid so no one expected much.  There were some people that had been there for years.  They looked like zombies to be honest.  No light in them at all.  It was like the life had been sucked out of them.  I started to be concerned but figured I’d only be there for the summer and I would endure.

After my first week I was accustomed to making over a hundred phone calls per day, and I was lucky to get 20 surveys done in a week.  I felt like a total failure but I was assured it was par for the course.  Then I decided to change my strategy.  I went completely off-script initially in order to get the customer interested in taking the survey.  I just decided to be 100% completely honest with them instead of going through a canned spiel. 

“Hello, my name is Erin and I work for a telemarketing company.  Yep, it’s a horrible job but I’m a student and it’s the only way I can afford school.  If it isn’t too much trouble, would you be willing to take a short survey with me?  I want to look good in front of my bosses and if you stay on the phone with me I won’t have to make another 10 calls.  I would really be grateful.”  I can’t tell you how many people relented and sympathized with me.  Before I knew it, my survey completion record had doubled.  People who had been there for years started noticing and some of them got angry with me.  There was a definite competition vibe there.  Apparently the plum jobs went to the best people.  I was inordinately pleased with myself though, and the job was more bearable.  My specialty has always been connecting with people easily, so I used that skill to make headway in this job.

Of course, my bosses began to notice.  One day they called me in and said they needed to have a talk with me.  I was nervous as I thought they were going to fire me for going off script.  One of my competitors, I mean co-workers, was particularly annoyed that I was going off script, and I know she told on me.  As it turned out, though, my bosses were not only okay with it, but impressed.  They asked if I was willing to be put on a special project that wasn’t sponsored by another company but was actually their own private project.  It came with a pay raise and my own private office with a door, no more cubicle!  I jumped at the chance!

My new job was to call people and ask them if they wanted to buy a book called Dianetics written by L. Ron Hubbard.  I thought that was sort of a strange thing to be doing, but I didn’t care.  So I called people and asked them if they wanted to buy this book which was supposedly all about self improvement and making yourself happier.  The list I was calling from was surprisingly sympathetic to this request.  Good list, I thought!  Whether people were willing or unwilling to buy the book, I was also told to ask them if they wanted to make a donation to some L. Ron Hubbard charity fund.  I had no idea what this was all about, but that didn’t matter to me.  I was doing very well and making a lot of money for this L. Ron Hubbard fellow.   I was proud of my skill and my bosses were over the moon about me.  They gave me another raise.  I was rockin’!

Then the co-worker who ratted me out took me aside one day and told me that our bosses were Scientologists.  I’m like, “What’s a Scientologist?”  She told me it was a religious cult, and she said some really nasty things about it.  I became very concerned.  I felt duped, deceived, and used.  I didn’t want to be a religious cult fundraiser!  Without doing much research on my own (no internet in those days) I decided I had to stop and go back to doing the lame surveys.  I went to my bosses and told them I felt uncomfortable.  They were so incredibly nice and understanding.  In fact, these guys were so gentle and kind, I found it hard to believe they were part of any cult.  They asked if I wanted to know more about Scientology.  So I sat and listened to them explain the whole thing to me.  I thought it sounded really weird but not as cult-like as co-worker chick made it out to be.   I was still uncomfortable with the job they were having me perform, though, so I told them I couldn’t do it anymore.  They understood and then they let me go.  They had already hired someone to take my place doing the surveys. 

I wasn’t overly upset.  I wanted to get out of there badly.  So I left with little huff.  But I learned something from that job.  I learned that who you work for is just as important as the work you’re doing.   If your personal beliefs aren’t in alignment with the goals your company is trying to achieve, why are you working for them?  I often think about people who work for the big tobacco companies, or the people who work in the slaughterhouses.  Is it just a job to them?  Or are they going against their own ideals in order to earn a paycheck?  I mean, we all have our limits and it’s up to you to choose them, but do you know who you’re working for?  Which of their goals are you achieving for them and are these goals you’d work on yourself if you could?  If I were to ever be in a position where I was working for someone else again, I’d try to find a job with a company whose goals and ideals were closely aligned with mine, because then all the work I did for them would contribute to what I perceived as the greater good.

Who do you work for?

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

You either fell into your job accidentally or you moved to it consciously.  That doesn’t matter today.  If you no longer like your job and wish  you were someplace else doing the same thing or someplace else doing something different, it doesn’t really matter how you got into it in the first place, it’s time to go.

Maybe you’re saying, “But I’ve been here so long… if I give up now I’ll have wasted the last 20 years.”  No, absolutely you didn’t waste the last 20 years.  You got a lot out of them.  Now you’re done.  Thank your job for what it did for you, and allow yourself to see a life beyond it.  The last thing you want to do is stick it out for another 20 if you don’t love it anymore.  Okay okay, if you’ve got less than a year to retirement and a full pension, maybe sticking it out isn’t such a bad idea.  But if you’re in your 20’s or 30’s or even 40’s and you hate your job, don’t give it any more of your life.  Move on.

But you might say, “If I switch careers I’ll have to start at the bottom.  I won’t earn as much money as I do now.”  That might be true.  It might not be.  It’s not a given that you will earn less money if you switch to an entirely different career.  Lots of people move into doing something they love that instantly earns them more money than they’re making now.  If money is very important to you, make sure the next job or career you move into will earn you the money you want to make.  If it doesn’t, it’s probably not a vibrational match for all your needs anyway and you shouldn’t even be considering it.

So now you’re thinking, “What if you know you hate your job but you’re not sure what you would love to do?”  Figure it out.  Spend a lot of time figuring it out.  It’s really important.  It’s your life, after all.  You should get to spend all of it doing what you want, when you want, the way you want, for the money you want.  If you believe it’s impossible to have all of that in a job then you should examine the beliefs you have about money, careers, and your own ability, because there are tons of people out there who love everything about their jobs.  Be one of them.  Don’t stop until you are.

Literally start making a list of all the things you love to spend your time doing.  Not just your hobbies.  Also list your skills.  I know a woman who has been in the accounting profession her entire life.  About 18 years now.  She hates her job, but when I ask her what she does love about it she tells me she likes solving problems, putting the pieces of a financial puzzle together, and tracking down every last dime.  It’s the thrill of the hunt that she loves.  So now she’s looking for other careers that allow her to express those skills but don’t include accounting.  Do you have some of those?  What do you still love about your job?  Write it down, but don’t attach it to that particular job.  Perhaps you can get some of that in a new profession.  I’ll bet this accountant would love being a private investigator for example.

Once you’ve got your list of what you love, see which things on your list you’re actually good at.  This is important.  If you try to do something you love but aren’t good at, you’ll probably fail.  That won’t lead to happiness.  Maybe it’s something you can get good at either by going to school or practicing more.  So while you’re in your current job making oodles of money, see about getting better at the thing you love to do.  Yes, it’s a commitment, but it’s worth it in the end.  Doesn’t matter if it takes a few years.

Once you have figured out what you love to do and what you’re good at, ask yourself which of those items provide value to other people.  You can be the best stamp licker in the world but is anyone going to pay you to lick their stamps for them?  Don’t be naïve.  Money is an exchange of value.  Unless you love standing on a street corner and you’re really good at holding a sign, you’re going to need to find a way to provide value doing what you love and what you’re good at.  So look at your list.  Does a large portion of society need the value you can offer?  Or would a small portion of society pay you big bucks to provide that particular value to them? If no one would pay you to do it, cross if off your list and keep it to yourself.  Or if you’re very inventive, find a way to create a demand for it.

I think you’re getting the idea here.  Find something you love, that you’re good at, that provides value to others and start a business or get a job doing just that.

When should you leave your current job?  Some people transition slowly to their new job by doing it on the side until it’s earning enough income to replace their current income, or some people just up and quit their current job so they can totally focus full-time on manifesting the new one.  Either way works, and either way can fail.  For example, if you have a lot of savings and you expect it will only take a short while to get your new career up and running, it’s probably safe to quit the current job and jump into the new one full time.  If, however, you’ve got no savings, 7 mouths to feed, and you need time to build up a clientele or get training or more education, etc. then perhaps the transition approach is best.  Just knowing that you’re on a road that leads away from your current job can be enough to sustain your soul while you slog away at it every day.  But don’t wait too long.  Keep your momentum going!

I have a friend who doesn’t particularly love his job.  We’ve identified a whole bunch of things he loves doing that he is good at, and we’ve even identified a way for him to provide value to others by doing it.  His big block?  “What if the new job feels like work?  I’d hate for something I love to do to feel like work.”  When you are doing what you love and you’re earning money from it, it’s not work.  It’s joy.  He doesn’t know this because he’s never experienced it and can’t believe it’s possible to enjoy what you do for a living.  So years later, he’s still slogging away at his job and doing this other cool stuff on evenings and weekends.  He’s afraid he’ll stop enjoying these delicious things if they are his job.   Trust me, you don’t stop enjoying them.  They get even more exciting.

If you hate your job, it’s time to move on.  Don’t give your loyalty to a job you’re no longer a vibrational match for.  There is no honor in that.  You probably were a vibrational match for it when you first got there.  If you’re no longer a match though, why stick around?  What else calls to you?  What else do you wish you always got the chance to explore?  Is your current job the one your parents told you would be safe and secure?  Did you ignore the call of your joy in exchange for security and safety?  I’m telling you that you can have security, stability, financial abundance, and joy too.  Why not go for the whole package?  If you’re waiting until you retire to finally start living and enjoying your life, you’re making a big mistake.  You deserve joy now.

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

Developing Psychic Abilities – An Interview with Erin and Steve Pavlina

This was my first filmed interview, and we had a lot of fun doing it.  I’ve been wanting to foray into more speaking and interviews, so between this interview and the radio show I did a few days ago, plus the workshop coming up in Vegas, I’m manifesting my goal nicely.  I can be a lot more expressive and connected with my audience by doing interviews and workshops, so that’s something I want to do continue doing.

Hope you enjoy!

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

Recently I attended a conference where we did a fabulous exercise that I want to share with you because it was truly eye-opening for me.  We got with a partner and we sat facing each other.   One person had to be the receiver.  The receiver kept their eyes open.  The other person had to close their eyes and for about a minute had to supply answers to the statement, “If I wasn’t afraid I would …”  The person receiving wasn’t allowed to say a word, and you couldn’t see their face anyway because your eyes were closed, but you had to unload on this person all the things you would do if only you weren’t afraid.  A minute is a long time when you’re sharing that kind of vulnerability.  At the end, you opened your eyes and the person receiving leaned in to give you a hug and share one nugget of wisdom they gleaned from your statements. 

My experience doing this exercise was powerful.  At the end my receiver said, “You know what?  I don’t think you’re afraid at all.  I think you came here to this planet to do these things and you’re going to do them despite any roadblocks.  You’re ready, and you’re more than capable.  Go for it.”  That wisdom shattered all kinds of resistance, limiting beliefs, and excuses I had all lined up to protect me.  I sat with my mouth agape as I realized that she was right. Deep down I knew I was using fear as an excuse, and that in truth I wasn’t actually afraid.  In fact, I started to feel eager.  This was a big part of the transformation I wrote about in my Transformations blog entry.  What if you could replace fear with eagerness?

So I ask you to try this exercise.  You don’t even need to do it with a partner, but it would be awesome if you could.  Saying what you’re afraid of out loud is powerful, and hearing your partner’s insights and wisdom is helpful.  You might find what I found; that you’re not afraid at all.  That fear is just an excuse. 

If you do the exercise alone, just write it down or type it up in your journal, and then let your higher self make a comment or two.  There’s no right or wrong way to do the exercise. 

So, what would you do if you weren’t afraid?

Would you get on a stage and speak your truth?
Would you write a book sharing your wisdom and insights on life?
Would you call an estranged relative and make a peaceful overture?
Would you tell someone you loved them?
Would you quit your job and start your own business?
Would you end a relationship that isn’t serving your highest good?
Would you have a child?
Would you ask for help?

Don’t let fear be the thing that stops you.  Fear is an illusion.  Begin to realize how ready you are to do all of the things you’re afraid of.  See the power in accomplishing all of these desires.   Life is tugging at you, trying to pull you in the direction of your joy.  Fear is the anchor holding you in place.  Raise anchor and set sail towards your desires.  This exercise can help you identify what you truly want.  It’s like getting a map to a destination.  Once you’ve got it, get going!

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

Steve was asked to become a member after having been nominated by a current member of the group.  Not everyone is asked to join this group, and not everyone who wants to be in this group will get an invitation, so we were both completely honored to be welcomed into this group, he as a member and me as a member spouse.

This retreat has nothing to do with making deals or trying to get anything from anyone.  It’s about giving, sharing, and being together.  It was more like a family reunion than a networking meeting.  We settled easily into the flow of this group as they were more than welcoming. 

By the end of this retreat I looked around the room and said to myself, “Wow, the world really is in good hands.”  It was like being in a room of higher selves.  Everyone there was consciously directing their growth.  They were all authentic, loving, giving, nurturing, supportive people.  There were presentations, but also a lot of singing, dancing, meditations, experiential exercises, and sharing of meals.  I never felt higher or lower than any person there.  I felt completely included and loved instantly.  It was like going Home. 

You would probably recognize many of the names of the members of this group, and some you would have never heard of because their work is in niches you’ve probably never studied.  But the names really don’t matter, it’s the work that matters.  All of these people are raising the consciousness and vibration of the people on our planet.  After meeting and getting to know them, I realized we all have the same message: Love.  It’s only in the ways we teach and express it that we differ.

This past week I saw in action the loving tendrils of Source energy who spiral out into the world, touching individuals all over the planet with Love.  This past week I was invited on stage because someone recognized that I am fearful of the stage.   She invited me up and said, “Do what you fear the most” so I started dancing, and I loved it, and I didn’t feel embarrassed or self conscious at all.  There was no judgment in that room.  And Steve got it on film too so I’ll always remember what I did.

I was transformed.  I gained courage.  I touched love. I was wrapped in this nurturing, powerful collective embrace that together said, “We can do it! We are unstoppable!  We can bring the planet to a state of Love.” 

Have you ever had one of those moments, days, or weeks that completely transformed your energy?  Where you knew you could never go back to how it used to be?  Where something just clicked and you realized you’d reached a new level of awareness, a new purpose, with new drive and passion?

The last time this happened to me was April 2006 when I discovered I was a psychic and medium.  That was a three week whirlwind of transformation that included filming for the Criss Angel show and then having Doreen Virtue read for me at Hay House’s I Can Do It event. 

So many ideas are flooding through me right now.  I can’t wait to sort through them and see what blossoms from this experience.  I am filled and overflowing with love.  And I’m going to be exploring new ways to share my message of love, oneness, and connection with the world.  Stay tuned, the best is yet to come!

P.S. If you want to see photos of the conference, I’ll probably be posting a few on my Facebook account.  Send me a friend request so you don’t miss out.

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

Being grounded means you are present in your life, not obsessed with the past or future.  It means your energy is planted firmly in your body instead of drifting off into airy-fairy land.  Being grounded means you have stability, security, and control over your life.  It means being ready to handle life’s challenges instead of burying your head in the sand and pretending they aren’t there.  It means you are checked in instead of checked out. 

Being grounded is important so you can face your life instead of running from it.  And ironically, being properly grounded can help you reach higher spiritual frequencies.  Think of it like tethering your energy here while the rest of you explores another frontier; it’s easy to find your way back if you are grounded.

So what do you do if you’re ungrounded?  Here are five ways to ground yourself.  You can do them all or pick the ones that resonate with you.

Exercise
Moving your physical body reminds you that you have one.  Instead of zoning out in front of the tv while a show transports your mind to a fantasy land, get up off the couch and get moving!  Try dancing, aerobics, hip hop abs, weight lifting, or jogging through your neighborhood.  Jump up and down a little, that will get things settled.

Walk on the Earth
Take off your shoes and walk on the Earth.  Not the concrete.  Find some actual Earth.  Run through the grass, take a stroll along the sandy beach.  I don’t recommend rock climbing without shoes though.   The Earth carries an energy that nourishes your energetic body.  But when you wear shoes and walk on concrete you don’t get to absorb that energy.  So get back to nature and let Mother Earth ground and restore your energy. 

Meditation
Sit quietly and imagine roots going from your feet deep into the core of the Earth.  Plant yourself.  The first time I tried this I wasn’t expecting much, but I was amazed at how this actually felt.  Imagine your feet have grown roots, and like a beanstalk imagine the roots snaking their way down into the Earth.  Go all the way to the core.  This will completely ground you energetically.

Sit in hot water
A hot bath or a dip in the Jacuzzi isn’t just relaxing, it’s cleansing.  Take a hot bath with some Epsom salts mixed into the water.  Water is purifying.  Sitting in a warm tub of water will slough off any negative energy that’s sticking to you.  The shower is okay if you don’t have a tub, but while you’re in the shower, you want to imagine all the gunky energy peeling off your body and going down the drain.  Sometimes other people’s energies can stick to us.  You may come home from work with other people’s problems attached to you.  Water will clear that right up.

Sit in Stillness
Be in the present moment.  Sit in a chair or better yet, sit outside on the grass under a tree.  Get quiet.  Just look, just listen, just feel the air gliding around your body.  Notice what you smell.  Notice what you hear.  Just absorb the present moment.  Disallow your mind from wandering to the future or the past.  Just be in the now.  Notice that you are alright, that nothing bad is happening to you, and that you are totally at One with the world around you.

There are many ways to ground yourself.  What is your favorite method?

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

The other bit of information you need to know about me in order to fully understand and appreciate the story I’m about to tell you is that while I am pretty darn successful in the areas of Love, Truth, and Oneness, I’ve had to really work over the years at getting better at Authority, Power, and Courage.  I’ve had to overcome panic disorder, being too dependent on my parents well into adulthood, and letting other people tell me what I should be doing with my life.  And while I’ve made significant strides in the area of Authority, Power, and Courage over the years (some of my friends can’t even believe how far I’ve come) I still have a lot to learn.

Okay, you’ve got the background.  Here’s the story of how I recently went up a level in Courage, Power and Authority.

As I mentioned, I joined Toastmasters three years ago because I knew at some point I’d find myself up on stage speaking to large crowds.  I figured I might as well get a jump on becoming a better speaker so that when I actually did take the stage I didn’t die of fright.  I’ve done well in Toastmasters, earning my first educational award – Competent Communicator – and taking on officer positions within my club to improve my leadership abilities.  In January of 2009 I became President of my Toastmaster club, Voice Links.  I did this because I’ve never been the leader of an organization or group (though I’ve taken the Vice President position many times) and I wanted to have the experience of being the person in charge, the leader, the head honcho, the buck stopper.  I had great success being President of my club, I learned a lot about delegation, managing others, and being a leader.  I was told by several members that I was one of the best Presidents the club had ever had.  I preened.  I felt good.  I stepped down.  Yes, I stepped down as President even though I could have remained for another 6 months.  I did this because the job wasn’t challenging for me anymore and I’ve learned that if I get too comfortable it means it’s time for a greater challenge.

I am a member of another club, Powerhouse Pros, which happens to be the largest club in our district with over 50 members, and is more geared towards people who are interested in becoming professional speakers.  This is the club Steve’s been in for years.  I was asked to take on the position of VP of Membership for the upcoming term, which I agreed to do because I knew it would be a challenge and a growth experience, which is what I’m actively seeking right now.  But the day after I stepped down as President of Voice Links, I was asked if I was willing to become President of Powerhouse Pros.  The thought terrified me, honestly, because I didn’t feel ready to take over a club that had had such recent massive growth and a club where people were actually using it to become professional speakers.   I’d only been in the club 8 months myself!  But I realized that I had to face this challenge because it was exactly what I asked for.  I had to feel the fear and do it anyway.  I had to step into a role I didn’t feel quite ready for because those are the situations that provide us with the most growth.  Steve had a good chortle at how the universe pushed me in this direction.  And he agreed it would certainly help me in the area of Courage, Power, and Authority.  I accepted the job even though I didn’t feel ready or capable.

I was immediately catapulted into a leadership position unlike anything I experienced in my other, more laid-back club.  The difference in correspondence alone is monstrous, but managing all of these people and making sure their needs are being met is a real challenge.  I am very lucky that I have an executive board full of officers who are awesome, kick ass, and quite competent!  Once we all become accustomed to our roles, I feel our ship will sail quite smoothly.  

The transition officially takes place on July 1, but I was asked to give a speech at our June 29th meeting, awarding our outgoing president with an engraved gavel for her year of service to our club.  I wasn’t exactly expecting to have to create a tribute speech, but I accepted the challenge.  Our outgoing Vice President of Education, the person in charge of creating the agenda for each meeting, came up with the brilliant plan of us doing a Wizard of Ah’s theme, which would involve several of us acting our parts all night during the meeting.  Whoa.  Hang on.  Not what I signed up for.  Hold up!  I found myself charged with the role of the Wicked Witch who is out to fill our president’s shoes (aka the ruby slippers).  Steve got such a kick out of this idea.  He said, “Oh yeah, you gotta do it.  You totally have the Wicked Witch cackle down pat.  I’ve heard you do her voice.  You’d be a natural at it.”  I resisted, “But I’m already doing a whole speech that is sure to make me nervous.  You want me to act all night too and memorize lines and, and, and…”  He replied, “This is what you want.  A challenge.  And the universe is giving it to you.  Accept the challenge.  That’s how you go up a level.”

Shortly thereafter the universe sent several synchronicities to show me I wasn’t going to get out of this so easily.  First, Steve suddenly got an email from a woman who signed her name “Just call me the Wicked Witch of the East.”  That was synchronicity #1.  Ten minutes later I found myself at the grocery store, parked next to a vehicle with the license plate “WchyWmn.”  That was synchronicity #2.  The third synchronicity came in the form of someone on television mentioning the tornado from the Wizard of Oz movie.  I agreed to be the witch.  I had a hat and a cackle and I knew how to use them!

Now guess who they got to join me in this debacle?

John Kinde, playing the scarecrow.  John is a professional speaker, humorist, and runs an Improv Troupe here in town.  This man is the unmitigated king of observational humor.

Bryant Pergerson, playing the Tinman.  Bryant made it all the way to Toastmaster’s highest competition, the International Speech Contest, beating out nearly 25,000 other toastmasters along the way.  My man Bryant can speak like nobody’s business.

S. Frank Stringham, playing the Cowardly Lion.  S. is also a professional speaker and comedian who does an amazing impression of the Cowardly Lion.  S.  is a member of John’s Improv Troupe as well.  The man was born to be on stage and is always entertaining.

Darren LaCroix, playing the Wizard.  Darren is actually a World Champion of Public Speaking and coaches people on how to be better professional speakers.  If you want to know how to speak better, you get with Darren or buy his products.

Bill Parker, as our narrator.  Bill is a Distinguished Toastmaster, the highest level of distinction that Toastmasters offers, and is also a new member of the Improv Troupe.  He’s quite comfortable speaking and has been doing so for years.

Sherri Parker, playing Glenda, the Good Governor of the South.  Sherri is our new District Governor, a high mucky muck in the Toastmaster organization, and also a Distinguished Toastmaster who gave a keynote address at our recent Toastmaster Leadership Institute.  Girlfriend’s got it going on!

And then me.  Little old me.  Still struggling to get the butterflies to fly in formation.  It was like standing next to Tom Cruise, Robert DeNiro, Tom Hanks, Robin Williams, and Meryl Streep while they decide to throw together a little something to act out for fun. 

But hey, I’m here to learn, to get my feet wet, to challenge myself, and this was how it had to be.  I got the script for our play the morning of the performance.  I spent the day practicing my cackle and also writing up my tribute to our outgoing president.  I fed the butterflies in my stomach since they were hanging out so long, I figured they might be hungry.

I was too busy to be nervous, but occasionally throughout the day I would get stabs of adrenaline as I realized what I was going to put myself through.   The night before our meeting I had a dream about the entire event.  There turned out to be some prophetic components to this dream.  First, I dreamed that twice as many people were at the meeting than we usually have, and in the dream we ran out of chairs and it was standing room only.  I also dreamed that some of our guests were in school and had to attend a toastmaster club meeting as part of class credit.  I dreamed that our VP of Education, Bill, was late – he usually arrives first to help set up the meeting room, but in the dream he came only 10 minutes before the meeting which, at a meeting as chaotic as this was going to be, would have been a bad idea.  I also dreamed that our outgoing president, Pam, was in a bad mood and angry at our VP of Education.

All of these things I dreamed came to pass.  Our room was overflowing with all manner of people, more than 50 people showed up.  It was insane.  Several people had to stand in the back because we ran out of chairs.  Our president, Pam, was angry at Bill because the fake agenda he handed out was wrought with errors and she was annoyed with him.  Plus he was nowhere to be found as he was running unusually late.  And there were several students from the local university who came by to witness the meeting as part of one of their classes.

Back to the story …

This night turned out to be a whirlwind for me.  I successfully did Pam’s tribute.  I did a decent job as the Wicked Witch, though I spoke much faster than I should have.  Our area, division and district governors came by to do our officer installation so I was involved in that.  And finally, at the end of the meeting, Pam called me up to get feedback from our guests and to end the meeting.

Through it all, though, I had fun.  I can’t believe it, but I had fun.  Something I’d been dreading turned out to be something quite enjoyable.  By the end of the meeting I could feel a metaphorical mantle of power settle on my shoulders, and instead of weighing me down, it raised me up.  And I learned something so valuable.  When you face your fears instead of running from them, you go up a level in courage.  And if you can remember to have fun in the process, you’ll have all the power you’ll ever need.  For a moment there, I forgot all about the butterflies in my stomach.  They had stopped fluttering.  I think they were afraid of my cackle.

When Steve and I got home that night I was riding a high I haven’t had in a long time.  We sat on our couch together and watched the end of a Star Trek episode, Remember Me.  In it, Beverly Crusher is in a reality of her own making and is trying to get back home.  At one point she says, “Could it be that simple?  Just click my heels together?”  It was the final nod from my Guides.  I’d done good, and I was pleased with myself.  I know the road ahead may have some bumps, and I know the butterflies may come back, but I will face them with courage.

What could you do today that would help you level up in courage?  Where have you gotten so comfortable that it’s not even a challenge anymore?  What are you avoiding doing that you know would provide you with tremendous growth?  Follow that yellow brick road, my friend.  At the end you’ll find not a wizard, but your own power.

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

We’re going to have to use an analogy to understand this best.  The stork drops you off in a forest and you get to wander around the forest for the rest of your life.  Before you were born, you decided you wanted to see certain sites around the forest, but when you are born, you forget what they were.  So in comes your spirit guides.  Imagine they are floating above the forest.  They always know where you are and so they know where you’ve been.  They can also see where you’re going, up to a point.

Let’s say you’re on the path that leads to a big lake.  You go see a psychic who can communicate with your guides and you ask, “Am I ever going to find a lake?”  The guides report to the psychic, “Yes, she is really close.  She turns the next bend and it will be right in front of her, but she can’t see it from where she’s standing.”  So the psychic says, “Yes, it looks like you’re going to find that big lake.  Just keep doing what you’re doing and keep going the way you’ve been going.  You can’t miss it.” 

But let’s say you ask, “Am I ever going to find a lake?” and the guides tell the psychic, “There’s definitely a lake there, but she’s about 30 miles away.  In order for her to get to the lake she’s going to need to take a right, then a left, then two more rights, and a final left.  But between her and that lake are some things she’ll have to deal with, like a hungry jaguar, a pit with spikes in it, and a tree that’s laying across the path.”  So the psychic tells the sitter, “I do see that as an option however it’s not clear whether you will actually reach the lake.  There are going to be some challenges along the way, and you may make decisions that veer you away from reaching the lake.”  The sitter is annoyed.  “Do you see me at the lake or not?  It’s a simple question?”  To which the psychic, if she is honest and ethical, must reply, “You are capable, you have the ability, but you are not close enough to this goal for them to say for certain that you will arrive there.  We’ll have to see.  To increase your chances, however, you should probably invest in a hunting rifle, a big wooden plank, and a chainsaw.”  And that is the benefit in getting a reading with someone who can communicate with the guides hovering above your forest, to prepare you to face what’s around the corner, and to inform you of what you’ll need to safely navigate the road ahead.

I’ve learned something interesting after doing more than 1400 readings and getting a lot of feedback as to how things turned out for people afterwards.   I can tell when something is definitely going to happen and when something is so far off in the distance that one single choice you make along the way can derail you.  I liken these two options to shooting a gun, or spraying silly string.  When you shoot a gun, that bullet is going out with such force and trajectory that nothing is going to stop it and it’s going to hit its mark.  When you spray a can of silly string, the force is weak and the trajectory is almost impossible to calculate.  So when people ask me a question about their future, I can tell by whether I feel the gun or the silly string how likely or how close they are to achieving this desire.

Imagine being in your forest and there was only one path, and all you had to do was follow it to reach the other side of the forest.   You weren’t allowed to veer off the path, explore deeper territory, or even back track and try another path.  Why bother living?  What would be the point?  In reality, we are dropped off in this forest and we’re allowed to explore at our own discretion.  As a youngster, we follow our parents who make decisions about where we’re going, but as we get older, we are asked to take the lead and go off and find our own path. 

When I read for people I sometimes see people latch on to others in the forest and follow them on their path.  You’re allowed to do this, but make sure you get the opportunity to explore the parts of the forest that appeal to you too.  It’s not healthy to just follow someone else your whole life.

Also, you will meet people in the forest who are coming from the same place you’re planning to go.  Ask them what the path ahead of you looks like.  They might say, “Well there’s a jaguar loose on the path that way, be careful” or “You are really close to a beautiful lake.  Take the next right and you’ll be practically sitting on top of it.  You can’t miss it.”

Sometimes people ask me, “What is the name of my future husband and where and what exact day will he and I meet?”  Unless that’s going to happen tomorrow, do you understand now why a psychic cannot tell you with 100% accuracy the answer to that question?  However, if you ask, “Do you see love approaching on my path?  Is a relationship coming?” that I can definitely get an answer to.  When the guides look down on the path they can see other people who are about to interact with you.  If you’re standing close to a good potential partner, we can give you the nudge you need to “run into him.” 

Some psychics are loathe to sound anything less than omniscient.  They do a disservice to the craft though when they tell you something is a definite when in fact there are 10 ways for you to be sidetracked from your goal.  So if you ask them, “Where and when will I meet my future husband?” and they say, “10am on June 18th 2 years from now at the Starbucks on the corner” you’re like, “Oh wow, that’s incredible!”  Yeah, check back in two years and you’ll realize it probably didn’t happen and that psychic is nowhere to be found.  And in the meantime, maybe your prince charming ran into you a year earlier and you ignored him because the psychic told you it wasn’t going to happen until June 18th two years from then.

You must also understand that the guides may know something that is about to happen to you but can’t tell you because it will rob you of your power or derail something important.  A man wrote to me recently to tell me that about a month after his reading with me his wife was in a car accident and hurt her neck very badly.  He wanted to know why the guides didn’t warn him.  First, it’s not the responsibility of our guides to warn us about every pitfall life has to offer.  We wouldn’t grow if we could magically avoid all hardship.  Second, maybe she wasn’t headed for a car accident at the time of the reading, but chose a path afterward that led her to this accident.  Third, what if she was tooling along properly on her path and someone else on another path made a decision that suddenly and without warning impacted her path?  Accidents do happen.  The guides can see but they can’t move people around like pieces on a chess board and sometimes collisions happen.  And lastly, what would have happened if the guides had actually said to this man, “Tell your wife to be careful while driving, she’s due to have a terrible accident.”  Would she have driven at all?  Or would she have been so freaked out that she decided to take the bus?  And for how long?  A day, a month, a year?  Telling someone that something terrible is about to happen to them can send someone to bed, hiding under the covers forever. 

Does that mean the guides can’t warn us if something terrible is about to befall us?  I have often received warnings for people, but that happens when the danger or problem is right around the corner or when it’s already happening and the sitter just isn’t aware of it yet.  For example, this has happened when someone was being stalked and her stalker found her but she didn’t know it yet.  It’s happened when a guy was about to be fired but didn’t know it.  And it’s happened when someone had a life threatening illness but wasn’t aware of it yet.  In those cases, the guides can see and report on something that is already in the process of happening.  That’s another good reason to get a reading.

Will a spirit guide always warn you about something bad in these cases?  They’ll only tell you if it will help you on your path.  Guides are concerned about your growth, and not necessarily about your comfort.  What if getting fired is the best thing for you and warning you would give you the opportunity to prevent it?  What if the next beating you get from your abusive boyfriend is the beating that causes you to leave the guy?  Would they want to prevent that?  Would they say, “Be careful not to burn the eggs or he’s going to bust your nose?” or would they allow it to happen because it’s for your own good?  It’s not for me to say or judge what information a guide gives me to pass along.  I’m just the conduit.

I know you want definitive answers from a reading, but that sometimes comes with a price and it’s usually powerlessness.  I read for a woman once and the guides told me she was in dire straits financially, and suggested she start looking for a job.  The woman confirmed for me that she was unemployed and had no intention of looking for a job even though her bills were piling up and she was in deep trouble.  So I had to ask her, “Why are you avoiding getting a job and taking care of yourself?”  To which she replied, “A psychic in California told me I was going to win the lottery and a prince from Europe was going to marry me, so why should I bother with getting a job?”  Even if this was true, (and it most certainly was not!), she gave all her power up to this “vision” of her future, deciding to just sit back and wait for it to happen.  What if the supposed prince was supposed to find her working at a job and instead she’s sitting at home waiting for him to call? 

The guides do not want to strip you of your power.  Sometimes knowing too much about your future causes you to stop taking the very actions that will ensure it.  So the guides have to be careful about what information they tell you and how it’s phrased.  Guides won’t lie to you, but it’s probable they aren’t telling you the whole story either as that would ruin your adventure.  What if you’re supposed to run into that jaguar because it teaches you courage.  If they tell you about the jaguar and you avoid it, they’ll just have to coerce a lion to attack you instead. 

So, what’s going to happen to you?  That’s your choice.  What does the path look like just ahead of you?   What tools do you need to better prepare yourself to meet what’s on your path?  What aren’t you aware of that could be negatively impacting your path?   Are you currently on a path that has the capability of leading to a desired goal or are you going entirely in the wrong direction?  All good questions to ask your guides.

Your guides are here to help you navigate your way through the forest of life, not to fight your battles or make your decisions for you.  They are the map, but you are the explorer.  Be prepared, stay sharp, and consult your map every once in a while to make sure you are where you think you are and are going where you think you’re going.  Life is easier when you consult the map.  But even that’s a choice.

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

Right now you carry a set of beliefs inside you.  Are those beliefs serving your highest good?  Are those beliefs making you happy?  If the answer is no, listen up, because you’re doing yourself a huge disservice and the result is unhappiness.  How long do you want to be unhappy?

Happiness isn’t about what you have or what you’re doing.  Happiness is a state of being that is completely controlled by your own thoughts and beliefs.  If you’re not happy,  you’ve chosen not to be happy.  And if you think the world is making you unhappy, or your parents are making you unhappy, or the economy is making you unhappy, then you’re just plain wrong.  You are making you unhappy.  Because your level of happiness is directly related to your beliefs. 

Does this sound familiar?

“I’ll be happy when I win the lottery.”
“I’ll be happy when I get that promotion.”
“I’ll be happy when she agrees to marry me.”
“I’ll be happy when I get out of debt.”
“I’ll be happy when I get my own place.”

And so on.

What is your particular “I’ll be happy when…” story?

Years ago a friend wrote me a letter.  In it he said, “In order to be happy you must first decide to be happy.”  At the time I think I was 17, and I didn’t understand what he wrote to me.  In my world view, happiness was something that was a result of things going on in your life, so how could you decide what’s going to happen in your life, and therefore how could you decide to be happy?  But now I get it.  You can choose how you want to feel under any circumstance at any time in your life.  And if you can choose how you feel, why would you choose to feel unhappy?  Why not feel happy all the time?  But this is easier said than done.

So you have to look at your beliefs.  I believe that everything happens for a reason and that it serves my highest good.  I believe that even when bad things happen to me that they are there to teach me a lesson that will make my life better in the future.  I believe that life is a gift, and I can’t wait to see what I can do with this gift.  I believe that no matter what happens to me in this life, I am still loved, protected, and cared for by my posse on the other side.  I believe that I am never truly alone.  I believe I am helpful, caring, honest, kind, and just; and I believe people on our planet live better lives when people like me are around.

Are any of these beliefs empirically true?  No.  There’s no way for me to say these beliefs are absolutely true.  That’s why they’re beliefs and not facts.  I have chosen to believe these things, not because I saw evidence that they were true, but because my belief in them creates the evidence that makes them true for me. 

What do your beliefs look like?
“No one ever really gets ahead in this world.”
“People are selfish and will step on you to get ahead.”
“Money is the root of all evil.”
“Most parents screw their kids up so why bother having kids in the first place?”
“No one is looking out for me, they’re all too busy looking out for themselves.”
“I’ll never be good enough to get the job I really want.”

And so on.

But you’re choosing to believe those things and you’re making them true for you.  If my beliefs are not empirically factual, then neither are your negative or limiting beliefs.  So why carry them around with you like they’re facts?

Change your beliefs, change your world.

You choose your beliefs, and your beliefs create your reality.  So choose beliefs that serve and empower you instead of ones that bring you down or make you unhappy.

So how do you change your beliefs?  First, identify the beliefs you have that aren’t working for you.  The next time you find yourself unhappy ask yourself what you have to believe in order to feel so unhappy.  Write it down.  Keep doing this every time you find yourself upset or unhappy.  Identify the belief that goes with it and ask yourself if that’s something you care to keep believing or if there’s another way of believing that serves you better.  Keep a list of all these beliefs.   Then choose to let those beliefs go.  Those beliefs are gone. 

Next, come up with a new set of beliefs such that, if you believed they were true, would empower you.  Decide you’re going to adopt those beliefs.  Try them on for 30 days.  You have to really believe them though, you can’t just pretend.  Otherwise you’re saying, “I wish this was true” which means you believe it’s not.

Don’t tell me you can’t adopt a new belief in an instant.  You can.  You’re not saying, “This is empirically factual,” you’re saying, “I am choosing to believe this.”  Then let your reality reflect your belief back to you.  If you’ve never done this you might choose to believe it’s impossible.  Then of course, it is.  That just proves my point.   Really, what do you have to lose? 

The more you adopt new beliefs that empower you, the better your life is going to get.  If you’re having trouble coming up with beliefs you can get behind, just try easy ones first.

“I believe that something positive happens to me every day.”
“I believe that there are at least 5 things I can be grateful for every single day.”
“I believe that people are usually kind.”
“I believe that somewhere in this world someone is acting kindly and unselfishly towards another person.”

You’ll find evidence of all these things if you’re looking.

But Erin, isn’t this just your RAS at work?  (That’s Reticular Activating System, which is just a fancy way of saying you see what you expect to see.)  So fine!  See what you expect to see.  Just start expecting to see great things!  Use the RAS to your advantage.  Why on earth would you choose to only see the negative?  What does that say about you?

You can’t fool the system though, so don’t try this:  “I believe people are really nice at heart except the big corporate greedy folks who prey on unsuspecting people, but hey, even they had mothers who probably loved them.”  Nuh uh.  That’s not going to work.  Adopt beliefs you can actually get behind without conditions.

My reality may not actually be real.  How would I know what was really real anyway?  But it doesn’t matter.  In my reality, I’m happy.  You’re welcome to share my reality with me any time you want.  I don’t own the happiness patent and I’m not going to charge you a royalty for being happy.

Don’t you owe it to yourself to carry beliefs that will bring you happiness?  Or do you believe you’re supposed to be miserable, lonely, depressed, scared, etc?  Tsk tsk.  Put that on your list and let it go.  I believe you’re better than that!  I believe you can adopt empowering beliefs.  I believe that happiness is yours and all you have to do is claim it.  If I believe this, you can too.

So what are you waiting for?

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

I had friends who were religious.  My best friend, Frances, apparently belonged to a very religious Christian household.  Whenever one of her family members would leave the house they had to say, “Goodbye, I love you, and Mary and Jesus too” or something like that.  When I spent the night at her house, her mother made me say prayers.  I thought it was cute, but I had no idea who this God person was that I was supposedly talking to.  This was also a violent family.  The son was a vandal and arsonist, setting fire to the hill behind his house.  I watched from afar as his father whipped him with a belt to teach him a lesson.  Frances was often dragged by her hair down the stairs by her brother.  The father was a lawyer and was often called upon to keep his own son out of jail.

I remember one time my babysitter took us to her catechism class.  We got to paint pine cones and dip them in glitter.  I think we were making a Christmas tree ornament, but alas, no tree graced our home.  In fact, during  Christmas break from school my sister and I would often lament that all the stores were closed because of those Christians.  We were the ones going to the movie theatre and eating Chinese food on Christmas.

I got a vague understanding of who this God person was when my friends would talk about him.  They all seemed to think it was cool that we didn’t have to go to Church on Sunday, as they mostly thought it just wrecked their Sunday morning.  I remember asking my Christian friends why they believed there was a guy sitting on a throne up in the sky.  None of them gave me a particularly compelling answer.  Most said, “Because the bible tells me so” or “My parents told me there is a God so there must be.”

I am really grateful that I had parents who were not religious.  I never had to break free of religious indoctrination.  I never feared God or loved him.  I never feared going to Hell, which to me was this fictitious prison that bad Christians got sent to if they angered God.  Sometimes I was told that God was a loving God and sometimes he was furiously angry, wiping out entire civilizations on a whim.  The story was very confusing.  Being non-religious, I never felt like I was missing out on anything important.  It all seemed so silly to me to believe in some invisible guy who was constantly watching you to make sure you were good.  I thought that job belonged to Santa Claus. 

As I got older, some of my friends told me they feared for my soul because I wasn’t baptized.  They told me I was automatically going to go to Hell because I was not a Christian and did not believe in Jesus.  Honestly, that seemed sort of stupid to me.  I recall saying to one of them, “So if I am really loving and kind and good but not baptized, I go to Hell?  And someone else can be a murderer or pedophile and as long as he believes in Jesus, he gets to go to Heaven?”  They told me yes.  I’m sure it’s not as easy as that, right?  I said to these friends, “Why would you want to believe in a God that punished the good and let the bad into Heaven?”  They told me believing was not a choice but a commandment.  None of it made sense to me.

There was one thing I liked about religion.  Community.  There were a lot of Christians who seemed very kind and loving.  These were usually old ladies and they ran the church parking lot sales.  I met many Christians who were so kind, compassionate and caring.  People in the church took care of each other.  Families looked out for one another.  I thought that was kind of cool.  I asked my parents what would happen to us if we were ever destitute and poor and didn’t have the Church to take care of us.  They told me I didn’t need to worry about that, as we did quite well financially.  So I stopped worrying.

By the time I got to high school I assumed I was just an atheist.  I didn’t believe in God and that was the end of my story, or so I thought.  I found myself praying to God when I was in trouble.  I found myself making deals with Him all the time.  I hoped I was wrong about God because it sure felt comforting to think there was a kindly old guy looking out for me from above.  I couldn’t rationally convince myself that He existed, but when you’re in trouble, you’ll reach for any hand that might pull you out!  Still, I never saw any evidence that He existed. I figured if he was really there and all powerful like people said, that he surely knew I didn’t believe in Him and if He had an issue with it I was sure He would take it up with me personally.

I like how my mom puts it, “I don’t believe in God but I’m afraid to say that out loud in case He gets mad at me.”  Lordy. 

As I matured I realized that religion is man’s way of trying to interpret the divine presence inside all of us, of trying to make sense of the memories we retain even after the veil is drawn and we are left here, seemingly disconnected from Source.  I reconnected with Source on my own.  I explored the divine inside of me and found God staring back.  I began to remember where I came from, where we ALL come from.  And I began to see how we are all connected, simply projections of Source incarnated into outwardly disparate bodies.  I didn’t have this realization in a church, and I didn’t read about it in a book.  I felt it.  I remembered it.  I stopped cutting myself off from Source and Source came back to me.

Today I know there is a God, but God is not some man sitting on a throne pointing his finger at us in judgment.  God is what’s gazing back at you when you look in the mirror.  Which aspect of Him are you?  Are you His compassion?  His love?  Or are you His anger?  His judgment?  His intolerance?

I’m glad I grew up without a religion.  It left me free to find God on my own, in my own way, and in my own time.  I doubt I will ever be religious.  I find it unnecessary.  God is either in your heart or not there at all.  You either carry Him with you all the time, or cut yourself off from Him.  Have you found the divine presence yet?  Can you remember where you came from and where you will return?  Does God reside in your church, or in a book, or is he sitting quietly in your heart, waiting for you to notice Him?

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

Whenever something really cool happened to Melissa I remember saying in my mind, “I wish I was Melissa.  Her life is so much better than mine.”  These thoughts continued for a long time and repeated every time Melissa was happy or excited and I wasn’t.  Then one day something different happened.  Melissa came to school excited because she and her family were going to take a road trip to the Grand Canyon.  Instantly, the green-eyed monster of jealousy reared her ugly head, “Darnit, I wish I was Melissa!”  But this time a voice in the back of my mind replied and said, “No you don’t.  You wish you were going to the Grand Canyon.  There’s a difference.”  Pardon me? I thought.  Who’s talking?

I continued my dialogue with this new voice.  “But Melissa is so lucky.  Her parents take her everywhere!”  The voice said, “You didn’t think Melissa was so lucky when her mom cancelled trick-or-treating because she hurt her little sister.”  “True,” I conceded, “that really sucked for her.” 

The voice continued, “You didn’t wish you were Melissa when you found out her mom makes her go to bed at 9pm and you get to stay up until 10pm.”  “That’s true too,” I thought back.

Then the voice said, “Melissa’s life is no more perfect than yours.  Stop desiring to be her and simply acknowledge that sometimes Melissa is going to enjoy things that you don’t get to do or have.  Why don’t you just be happy for her?”

I silenced the voice at that point.  It was starting to bug me because it was starting to make sense.  The next time something great happened to Melissa I didn’t have the same ugly reaction.  Instead of wanting to be Melissa, I was able to just tap into my real feelings.  “Melissa must be really excited.  I would be really excited if that was happening to me.”  And I could leave it at that.  I wasn’t at the point where I could be truly happy that Melissa was getting something I wasn’t, but at least I was at a point of understanding and empathizing with her excitement.

As I got older and more aware I started to tap into the feeling that we are all One.  We’re all connected, we’re all part of the same body of humanity.  We’re all pieces of Consciousness.  This brought on feelings of connection, empathy, love, and compassion with all living things on Earth.  When someone was in pain, I felt sad.  When someone was excited, I felt happy.  It was easy for me to tap into a person’s energy and feel what they were feeling.  I started to really appreciate all the experiences other people were having that I wasn’t able to have.  I began to see other people as pieces to a vast puzzle of which I was just a small but integral part. Whenever I encountered someone I would think, “Ah, there goes the piece of me that is a male high school football player.  And over there is the piece of me who is having the experience of being a cheerleader.  And the other day I ran into the part of me that is living homeless on the street.”  I began to feel great compassion for the pieces of me that were obviously suffering, and I began to feel great excitement for the pieces of me who were millionaires or celebrities or highly successful.  But the thing is I felt like they were all part of me.  Their success was my success.  Their suffering was my suffering.

Once this shift happened I was able to feel completely and totally happy for other people’s joys even when I wasn’t experiencing them in my own life.  And I also felt complete and total compassion for those who were suffering when I wasn’t.  When a friend would share good news, I could honestly feel happy for them.  The jealousy wasn’t there.  It would be silly to feel jealous of yourself right?  And that’s how I thought of everyone … as pieces of me.  I can’t possibly experience every single thing that life has to offer.  I’ll never have grown up in Poland.  I’ll never have been a little boy.  But out there, other people have, and I can share their experience through my sense of Oneness.

Today I don’t have to say, “Darnit, I wish I was Melissa” because I’ve learned that I am Melissa.  Some part of me went to the Grand Canyon on a road trip when I was a kid. 

When you feel jealous of other people’s successes you’re just disconnecting from the collective consciousness.  Share in their joy instead.  And when something bad happens to someone else and you think, “Thank God that wasn’t me,” stop yourself, because it was you.  Send compassion and love to those around you who are suffering, as you would want them to do for you.

When you are comfortable with who you are and what you have, you’ll stop being jealous of others’ successes and rewards.  I have some friends who are genuinely happy for me when I share good news, and I have other friends who get quiet and can’t even muster an “oh, goodie goodie gum drops for you.”  It’s not the news itself that causes this reaction, otherwise I’d get the same reaction from everyone.  Invariably, the people who aren’t happy with their lives just can’t seem to be happy for me when something great happens, and the people who are happy with who they are and what they have are always excited for me.  Which kind of friends do you have?

More importantly, which type of friend are you?

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

I was taking piano lessons, but I was a poor student.  I preferred to play by ear but my teacher, of course, wanted me to learn to read music.  So while I was playing complicated songs by ear, she would force me to go back to my little dinky pieces in my piano book, which I struggled with because I wasn’t good at reading music.

Several of my friends in school were also taking piano lessons from the same teacher.  When I talked to them about what they were playing I found out, to my shame, that they had all surpassed me and were in advanced books while I was still in the first one.

On Fridays, our teacher had us give speeches in the school auditorium (that’s a horror story for another day!), and afterwards she would let people play a song on the piano for everyone in the auditorium.  You can be sure I never volunteered to play the piano!  I was way too nervous, plus my friends were playing these beautiful advanced pieces and next to them I knew mine would sound like nursery rhymes.  Even though people knew I played the piano, and even though they all encouraged me to play, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.

But one day, after a particularly good speech, I was feeling powerful instead of nervous.  I agreed to play a song called the Fairy Prince on the piano.  It was a four-line song and would probably take 1 minute or so to play.  I sat down in the darkened auditorium with the spotlight on me.  I put my hands on the keys.  This was a song I knew extremely well.  I began to play.  But I was suddenly overcome with panic.  I started playing the song at 4 times the normal speed, and I skipped an entire line!  I don’t know what happened to me.  I just totally lost it.  I heard some people laughing in their seats.  I heard my teacher shushing them.  And then there was some polite applause, but it was too late.  Embarrassed and humiliated for not even being able to play such a basic song properly, I vowed never again to perform on the piano in front of anyone!

And so it was, as the weeks passed, people began to forget my faux passé.  I had accepted that I just couldn’t read music that well or that quickly and that I would never catch up to my friends in this area. 

One day it was raining outside so we had to eat lunch inside the classroom.  After eating, our teacher let us play games in the room.  There was a piano in the room and I and my friends would line up and take turns playing one song at a time.  All my friends were playing their advanced songs from their piano books, and I was playing my little ditties.  Then it was my turn again and I decided to try something different.  Every morning after our flag salute our teacher would play a patriotic song on the piano and we’d all sing along to the music. I decided to try to figure out how to play one of them: “You’re A Grand Old Flag.”  I had never played it before, but I had heard my teacher play it dozens of times.  That was all I needed.  After struggling just a little bit to find the right keys I started playing “You’re A Grand Old Flag” perfectly and with gusto!

When I was done with the song I was surprised to hear thunderous applause from the entire class.  Apparently, while I was in my “zone” trying to figure out the song, my classmates and teacher realized what I was doing, and everyone stopped to listen.  When I finally got the song down and was done playing it they were very impressed.

My teacher said, “Wow, Erin.  I didn’t know you could play the piano by ear.  Why didn’t you ever tell us?  Do you realize what a rare talent and gift you have?”  Then she pointedly asked my friends if they could play by ear, and they all shook theirs heads and indcated they were limited to playing songs with music they could read.

After that people asked me to play all kinds of songs.  “Hey, Erin, can you play ‘Yankee Doodle Dandy?’”  Sure thing!  Piece of cake!  “Hey, Erin, we want to hear a Beatles song, can you play one?”  Sure, just name it!  I discovered that it was really easy for me to play songs I’d heard before.  Before long, I went from being a novice at the piano to being a virtuoso … well, at least in the eyes of my 4th grade peers.   I’d found my niche.  And I was happy.

Eventually I stopped taking piano lessons because they were slowing me down, and I started composing my own music.  I was able to compose complicated songs just by listening to the music already playing in my mind.  In fact, I created much of the video game music for Steve’s games when he ran Dexterity Software. 

That experience in 4th grade taught me that I didn’t have to be like everyone else; that we all have our unique talents and gifts.  I still can’t read music that well, but I can play the piano and still compose music when I have time.  I had been very limited by how my teacher thought I should learn and had come to the erroneous conclusion that I would never be able to play songs more complicated than Mary Had a Little Lamb.

***

Are you trying to read music when you should be playing by ear?  Are you ignoring a natural talent or skill you have because you don’t know how valuable or useful it is?  What do you do better than anyone else you know?  What are you really good at?  Talent lurks inside you somewhere.  When you discover or acknowledge your talent, you have a clue to your path to purpose.  You’ve probably got many talents.  Which one(s) can you use to further your goals in life?  Sometimes you have to go off-script and write your own lines. 

There’s power in your talents!  Make a list of all the things you’re really good at, and then ask yourself if there’s a way to incorporate them into your work (or your daily life).  Could one of your talents hold the key to an exciting new future for you?

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.