My higher self came to me in a dream last night.  She handed me a box filled with puzzle pieces and told me to put all the pieces together.  So I got busy working on that.  The pieces were in the shape of North American states and territories so I was able to know roughly how to put them together.  As I got close to finishing I said to her, “Oh I get it.  I see what’s happening here.”  She said, “No you’re not done.  Put all the pieces in place.  All you’re seeing is the small pictures on each piece and you’re assuming much.” 

So I kept going until every single piece was in place and then stepped back to see the big picture and was amazed by what I saw.  I understood it all so clearly.  The pieces lost their borders and all I saw was one big picture.  She said, “The details are important.  Every piece carries its own impact on the whole of the puzzle.  Every piece must be in the right place in order for you to see the big picture.”  I said, “This is awesome.  I can’t believe what I’m seeing here.  I’ve got to share this with everyone.”  She said, “No, this was only for you.  It’s part of your job to get all the pieces where they belong so that the big picture is revealed to everyone.”  I was feeling a little disappointed as it all seemed so easy. I just wanted to show everyone the big picture.  I knew they would all understand if they could just see what I was seeing.  She said, “Everyone needs to be a part of this puzzle.  Every piece must understand how integral it is to the Whole.  Everyone on Earth needs to understand how they fit into the big picture.” 

Reluctantly, I took apart the puzzle and put all the pieces back in the box.  I heard something jingling at the bottom of the box and pulled out a key ring with four keys on it.  She said, “Those are your tools.  You are to awaken people to their unique contribution to the puzzle.  You must help people understand how important they are to the Whole, that no piece is any greater than another, that everyone has a reason for being here.” 

So then I started asking questions about people I personally knew and asking what purpose they served in the Whole.  She gave me some specific answers.  I asked her how I was to go about doing all of this.  She said, “Keep doing what you’re doing.  Appreciate what you can do and your own unique contribution to the Whole.  The piece of the puzzle that is You is complete and whole; you need only share it with the world.”  She showed me images of myself doing a workshop.  It felt like I was teaching.

She said, “People cannot see the big picture when they try to be something they are not, when what they share with others is not their true self, when fear and fear of judgment cause people to alter their frequency and project something other than what they truly are.  This does not serve to show people the Whole.  It fragments the puzzle when a piece wears a mask hiding its true identity.  When this happens, the picture is fuzzy, muddled, and inaccurate and people react to the Whole with an inaccurate understanding of its true nature.  Remind people of their unique contribution to the Whole, help them find the courage to be who they truly are, and reconnect them with Love.”

The last thing she said to me was, “When you realize that all that is required of you is to be yourself, you will find your life flows easily and steadily.  You will merge with the Whole, and your place in the big picture will be revealed.  Do not try to be another piece. You are who you are for a very specific reason. Embrace it, use your talent and skill, and show people the unique contribution you make to the Whole.”

When I woke from this dream I immediately came to my computer to write it down so I wouldn’t forget it.  It was a powerful dream for me.  I felt humbled, charged, and hopeful for humanity.  Let’s get busy putting this puzzle together, people!  Show the world your piece!

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

So I asked my daughter, who is 9, “Emily, who should be president?”  She said, without hesitation, “Barack Obama.”  I asked her why he should be president and she said, “Because he’s going to buy equipment for our playground.  He’s going to buy more swings.  And because a lot of other people chose him, so he must be good.  And also, I think he’s kinda cute.”  Intriguing.  So I said, “What about John McCain?”  She crinkled her nose at me and said, “He’s old.  He’s not as handsome as Barack Obama.” 

“So the cuter guy should be president, and the president should buy your school more playground equipment.  Do I have that right?”  To which she shrugged her shoulders and said, “Yeah, why not?”

This conversation immediately brought to my mind an experience I had when Jimmy Carter was running against Gerald Ford, who was the incumbent president at the time.  I was in grade school and my teacher wanted to give us a lesson in civics.  She went to great trouble to tell all of her students what each candidate stood for.  And she let us know that Gerald Ford was already the incumbent president.  Then she sent us all into the coat room to cast our vote, privately.

When the results were tallied it was 26 in favor of Ford, and only 3 in favor of Jimmy Carter.  I voted for Jimmy Carter.  She asked random people why they voted the way they did.  The Ford voters all said variations on the same thing, “Ford is already president.  He knows what he’s doing.  Why change at all?”  When she asked me, I was a little nervous since I’d gone against the tide, but I said, “I just think everyone should have a chance to be president.  Maybe this guy can do a better job.”  People turned on me and I never knew why.  I thought my reason was sound. 

So here we are today, a historical day, a day when America will change, one way or the other.  We’re either going to have a female vice president or an African American male as president.  Change is good.  I like giving new people a shot at making a difference in our country.  I think that no matter who is elected, the country is going to go through a shift.  Because we want one, because we need one, and so we will attract this shift. 

I asked my son, age 5, who should be president.  He said, “I vote for the Hulk.  He likes to smash things.”  Uh, so does our current president, apparently.   Then he said, “I want the Hulk to be our president because he’s a hero.”  Intriguing.  So I asked him, “So you think a hero should be president of our country,” to which he replied, “Well you wouldn’t want a bad guy to be president would you?”

No.  No indeed.

We could use a hero.

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

People ask me if the world is going to end as punishment for how we behave.  Have you been to planet Earth?  This is punishment.   The world ending would be a blessing.  That would mean we got it right.  I told someone recently that if you wake up one morning and there is no more war, famine, or poverty and the world is in a state of love, peace and harmony, then you should worry about the world ending.  Experiment done.  Mission accomplished.  Until then, uh no, we’re not getting off that easy.

Do I think the world is going to end in 2012?  No.  Could it end in 2012?  Sure.  Anything’s possible.  I wouldn’t worry about it though.  If it’s going to end in some cataclysm there isn’t much you can do about it now.  If some government decides to blow up the world, oh well, back to the ether we go, hand in hand, singing Kumbaya, in perfect harmony no less.

Put your focus on today.  Put your focus on what we can do right now about what’s happening with ourselves and the rest of planet Earth.  God doesn’t save you, you save yourself.  Be at peace.  Be kind to others.  Love.  Help.  Care.  Right now.

I’ve actually had people tell me they are so excited about the world ending in 2012 because then they’ll finally be able to “quit” their job.  Uh, if you’re waiting for the world to end so you can quit your miserable job, might I suggest you quit now?  And when has the world actually ended when it was supposed to?  Isn’t this the bazillionth prophecy about when the world is going to end?  Someone is making fools of us, methinks.  And methinks some people are getting rich off the whole thing too.

If I do get a memo, I’ll let you guys know.  My guides look at me with great amusement when I ask about 2012.  They think it’s a great way to whip people into shape.  Repent now sinners!   And when 2012 comes around and nothing bad happens to us?  Someone will find the lost Incan calendar that ends in 2064 and we’ll have another 52 years to get it right.  But you may as well start working on it now.

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

“The Golden Rule,” she explained, “means that you treat other people the way you want to be treated.  So if you want people to be nice to you, you must be nice to them.  If you want people to be your friends you must be friendly to them.  And if you treat people unkindly you are telling them that you expect to be treated unkindly in return.  If you don’t want people to be mean to you, stop being mean to them.”  Cool.  Got it.  Makes sense.  I can do that.  It’s all about being fair.  If I steal from someone I am telling them that I expect and am okay with them stealing from me.  After all, if I am not okay with that, why would I do it to them?  I tucked the Golden Rule into my heart and went on about my life, treating others with kindness, fairness, civility, and love because that’s how I wanted to be treated.

The Golden Rule worked pretty well in fourth grade.  Anytime a kid was the slightest bit mean to me I reminded them of the Golden Rule and they changed their behavior.  And anytime I even thought about being mean to another kid I asked myself if that’s how I would want to be treated.  It was a great check and balance system.  I always checked my behavior to make sure it was in alignment with how I wanted to be treated.  Sure I made mistakes here and there but for the most part I did pretty well with the Golden Rule and I was very happy to have such a clear cut way of behaving that felt good to me.

Then came high school.  Clearly some of these people had not had the benefit of being in Mrs. Cameron’s classroom because this is where I started seeing some of the worst behavior I’d ever seen.  I recall one day while waiting with a hundred kids to get into school that a guy turned to me, that I did not know, and said “I’m going to kick your ass after school you f***ing Jew.”  I turned around to see who he was talking to but he pointed to me and said, “I’m talking to you, b*tch.  I’m going to kick your ass.”  I had no idea who this guy was but apparently he knew all he needed to know about me.  I was frightened the entire day and made sure all of my male friends were with me after school to take me to my car.  I steered clear of that guy the rest of the school year, living in fear that he would remember his threat against me and one day make good on it.  There were the cliques, periodic and seemingly random sexual assaults, and fights that broke out over who got to sit where in the cafeteria.  It was chaotic, violent, and scary to be in my high school.  I kept my head down and tried to learn, but I lived in constant fear of the next random act of violence (physical, emotional, sexual, etc.).

I survived high school and went to college where I also enjoyed random acts of violence and sexual assault but this time committed by so-called “adults.”  A little freedom and independence can do wonders for your morality.

But even in high school and college things were tame compared to what I see in the world today.

It’s very easy to lose your faith in the Golden Rule when other people around you are breaking it all the time.  After all, why should you be nice, kind and loving when other people are taking advantage of you, stealing, getting away with murder, committing violence, and lying; especially when some of these people are your world leaders or clergymen?

Because I live very closely aligned with the Golden Rule I don’t understand things like guns, bombs, and war.  I know I don’t want anyone to shoot me, bomb me, or invade my homeland so I can’t fathom doing it to anyone else. 

Before I take any action towards someone else I always ask myself if what I’m about to do is something I would want done to me.  If the answer is no, I find another way to express myself.  I’m not perfect by any means, but I am usually aware when I’m breaking the Golden Rule and spend some time thinking about how to improve.

I am greatly pained when I see adults violating the basic rules of decency that we try to teach our children. 

Can you imagine what our world would be like if everyone followed the Golden Rule?  I think about this a lot.  There would be no need for prisons, there would be no war.  Decency and civility would be the order of the day, not back stabbing, violence, and deceit.  People would be more fair, just, merciful, and compassionate.  And there would be a lot more love in the world by far.

Do you believe in the Golden Rule?  Do you follow its tenet?  When other people mistreat you do you assume they are asking to be treated the same way, and if so do you comply by getting revenge on them and violating your own honor?  Even when other people mistreat me I still feel bound to adhere to the Golden Rule even if they aren’t.  Someone’s got to set the example.  Especially for our children and the future of our world.

I am so grateful to Mrs. Cameron for posting the Golden Rule in my fourth-grade classroom.  That was possibly the most important lesson I learned that entire year…

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

First Mr. Craft selected two students to be our Presidential candidates.  Next he asked for 7 volunteers to head up their own state.  I wanted to head up my own state so I volunteered.  Next he told us how many votes or delegates our state got.  Turns out I was assigned a really small state and I had exactly 3 votes.  Everyone else had 12 or more!  Bummer.  Some even had like 54 votes!  The rest of the students in the class (21 or so) were divvied up according to percentage so the state with 54 votes got like 8 students, and the state with 12 votes got 2, and I got exactly none.  All alone in my little state. 

I was given information on my state like population, main source of income, main contribution to the country, etc.  And my dossier also told me what was of most concern to the people of my state.  I was instructed to determine which candidate would best satisfy the needs of my state and, when the time came, to cast my vote for that candidate.

Each Presidential candidate was given a platform and told they had to convince each state head to cast their electoral votes in their favor.  Meetings were to be arranged between the candidates and state heads during the week, and the candidates had to convince everyone from each state to cast their votes for them.

So our teacher turned us loose to have our meetings and see what would happen.  Which state heads do you think the candidates wanted to arrange a meeting with first?  Not me with my 3 electoral votes.  Nope.  The bigger states.  I tried to get a meeting and both candidates ignored me.  3 votes.  Pfft.  I was of no concern to them.  For a couple of days I watched because it’s all I could do.  And I saw some interesting things.

First, I saw the Presidential candidates each making promises to the bigger states.  And I saw the state heads all bargaining with each other, trying to arrange alliances with each other.  I saw deals being brokered and the same promise given to competing states.  I even got wind of students using real money to bribe people for votes.  Did I mention that whoever won the election got an “A” on this important project and the loser got a “B?”  So there were real stakes in play.  But did the candidates ask me who I was going to vote for?  Nope.  Totally ignored.  For days.

On Thursday during that week we had our big presidential debate.  I admired the two students who took part as Presidential candidates because it wasn’t easy.  Each state head got to ask questions and the candidates had to answer based on their platform and position on the issues.  The bigger states were allotted more questions too!  So unfair.  I got one question.  In my dossier it said that my state’s biggest need was a decrease in the unemployment rate.  So I asked the candidates what they planned to do to increase employment in my state.  They both told me that the country had bigger concerns than just my little state, but assured me that what was best for the country would be good for my little state too.  Fine, whatever.  I basically got the brush off.  I don’t even think they knew the name of my state.  I complained to Mr. Craft that the candidates were ignoring me and he told me that was their choice but to simply consider which candidate would be best for my state.

On Friday we had the big vote.  Both candidates were fawning all over the state heads, except me of course.  Still being ignored.  Each state had an internal election where all the students in the group voted for their candidate in secret.  After everyone voted Mr. Craft asked each state head to stand up and reveal their vote.  A tally was made on a big poster board.  I’m sure you can see where this is going.  Somehow, someway, the vote was exactly tied by the time they got to me.  Yep, that’s right.  Little old me, with just 3 electoral votes was in the position to cast the deciding vote.  Who was going to get my vote?  Who was going to win the election and get an “A” on their project? Who was going to beat me up after class for not voting for them?

The air was still.  I realized what kind of power I held, and I decided to wield it for my little state.  I finally understood the point of the exercise that had previously bored me.  Every vote counts.  Every state matters.  Everyone’s needs are important and should be addressed, because you never know who is in position to cast that deciding vote.  So I looked both candidates in the eye and said, “Neither one of you bothered to meet with me to discuss my states’ needs.”  Mr. Craft raised a knowing eyebrow at both candidates who looked sheepish and a little desperate.  “Neither one of you thought my state mattered, did you?”  Again they looked at me pleadingly.  Mr. Craft said to the candidates, “Would either one of you like to meet with her now?”  They both jumped at the chance.  He said, “I know that neither one of you bothered to meet with her during the week.  So for her sake, and to make this really interesting, I’m going to give you both 5 minutes alone with her.”  He sent us to another room.  I didn’t know if the candidates would try to bribe me or threaten to beat me up, so I was a little nervous when I left the room with them.

Once inside the room the first candidate told me he would give me $20 if I voted for him.  Oh.  What happened to the issues, I wondered?  He said he really needed an “A” and that’s why he volunteered to be one of the candidates.  Ah, I see.  He begged me for my vote and I told him I had to meet with the other candidate.  He grudgingly left the room.  The next candidate came in and said, “Tell me about your state and what it needs and I’ll see what I can promise you.”  Wow.  Staying in character all the way.  I liked that.  I told him what my state needed, and he looked at his platform list and said he thought that helping my state was in alignment with his stand on the issues and asked me for my vote.  I told him he would find out back in the room.

We went back to the room.  Who would I vote for?  Who would you have voted for? 

Mr. Craft called on me to give my vote.  Everyone stared at me with hopeful eyes.  I cast my vote for the second candidate I met with, the one that stayed in character and didn’t try to bribe me, who listened to my state’s concerns.  Half the class cheered, and half the class cast me threatening glances.  I walked with friends to my car that day I can tell you!  

Why did I vote for the second guy when in the real world I would have gotten personal gain from the other guy?  I respect integrity.  And I didn’t need the money.  If he would have bothered to find out what I really wanted instead of assuming I could be bought then maybe it would have turned out differently, but he only cared about getting something for himself.  The second candidate wanted to do a good job with the role he was playing and his grade, though important, was something he wanted to earn on merit.

It was a fascinating social experiment.  I saw corruption, bribes, sordid arrangements, and people handing out false promises to each other.  It was so seedy and dirty.  I’m glad things turned out the way they did because it let me see a side of myself I’d never seen before.  You never know when you’re going to be handed power on a silver platter.  It’s wise to know in advance how you’ll handle it.

What do you think you would have done if you were in my position?  What would you do today if you found yourself in a similar situation for real?

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

First of all, when I moved to Nevada I registered as a Republican because the Republicans had a table outside the grocery store and they seemed friendly.  Yeah, I’m not exactly the poster child for discriminate political thought, but there you have it.  As someone whose income was going up, I knew the Republicans were probably more in line with my view on taxes, so I signed up.  I never heard from them again.

I never voted for Bush even though at the time I was a registered Republican.  Bush gave me a really bad vibe from the get go, so I avoided supporting him.

This election year I decided I wanted to keep an open mind and learn about each candidate and their stand on the issues.  I actually went to this nifty site that has you answer a bunch of questions about where you stand on the issues and then it matches you with the candidate you’re most aligned with.  To my shock and horror, Mike Huckabee came up #1 for me!  Whoa!  Mike Huckabee?  The uber-religious guy?  I don’t think so!  After careful examination I realized the questions that were asked in the survey were not representative of most of the issues.  So I started looking at each candidate’s web site for my answers.

Here in Nevada there’s a lot of hub bub going on because we get to have our caucus early.  Barack Obama spent an entire week here, and I really wanted to go hear him speak in person.  Even though I signed up to attend 3 of his rallies I never actually made it to a single one because something always came up to prevent me from going.  I watched the top three democratic candidates debate in Vegas and I was extremely impressed with Obama.  He comes through to me as being very sincere and honest, and I feel he actually believes he can make a difference. 

I thought Hillary was going to rub me the wrong way (based on some reports I’d heard) but honestly, I thought she did a fine job of explaining her view of things.  I was surprised to find myself agreeing with a lot of what she said.  I don’t know if she is being as open and sincere as Obama, but I know she believes her plan is the best.  In other words, she’s congruent with her goals.

I crossed John Edwards off my list after this debate.  He is not a vibrational match for a win.  He may as well stop running.  But I think he’s enjoying himself too much.

So I decided to support Obama for right now.  With my decision made, I drove to my caucus location on Saturday morning at 10:55am (doors opened at 11am) and I nearly left before I got there.  Why?  There were hordes of people in their cars trying to find a parking space at the local high school.  Wow.  Wasn’t expecting so many people.  I ended up parking illegally like everyone else, several blocks away!  I raced to get there in time.  There were at least 2,000 people all cramming their way into this high school cafeteria.

Inside the cafeteria?  Chaos!  Utter chaos.  There were about 200 people all standing in front of a tiny map on the wall trying to find their precinct.  If I were running this show there would have been at least 10 of the same map posted, or I would have had people with lists to tell people what their precinct was.

But I already knew my precinct because I looked it up online ahead of time.  So I turned to face 800 people all standing in line trying to register.  My first order of business, though, was to change my party affiliation.  Can’t very well vote Democrat when you’re a registered Republican.  I stood in a long line with my form.  Volunteers were all yelling at each other.  No one seemed to have a clue.  By the time I got to the front, the volunteer working my line was in tears.  I told her she was doing a fine job and not to let people push her around.  She smiled at me wanly while another volunteer continued to yell at her. 

Now, by the time I left that registration line I had my voting card in my hand.  She never checked my ID or anything.  I could have been someone from California trying to sneak into the caucus to cast a vote and I could have gotten in there easily.  She didn’t even verify that I was a Las Vegas resident.  Ah well… sounds typical of our voting system.

Now I had to find my precinct.  For some reason everyone thought putting their precinct signs at knee level was the way to go.  I don’t know, I kinda think you want to have those signs up where people can actually see them.  But eventually there was a break in the throng and I found my precinct table.  Yay!  I said, “Hello, I am here to caucus for Obama.  Where do I go?”  The lady running the table said, “Just stay here.  We’ll be told later what room to go to.”  Oh.  Okay.  I was alone at the table with her.  Where was everyone else?

I wandered around a bit and people were rushing to rooms on campus.  Where are they going, I wondered.  Finally I stopped someone and she said she was on her way to her assigned room.  Oh really?  She told me to go to mine.  I said, “Mine is in the cafeteria apparently.”  She looked at me like I was insane and said, “No, that’s just where you sign in.  You better find your room fast because once they lock the door you can’t get in!”

Can’t get in?  But I’ve come all this way, parked illegally, changed my party affiliation.  I know I’m just one person with one vote, but dagnabit if I was going to leave without casting it!

I raced back into the cafeteria and went back to my precinct table.  I said, “What room is our precinct in?”  She looked at me sheepishly and said, “Go to the gym.”  The gym!  Yes, the gym!  Of course.  I raced out of the cafeteria and set a course for the gym.

Once I got there, I saw the other 1,000 people who had come out to caucus.  Now there were 2,000 people on this campus all running around trying to find their precinct’s caucus room.  I asked someone from the Hillary campaign where I should go and she said to look around the gym for my precinct number.  I did.  It was not there.  A kindly woman ran up to me and said, “Are you looking for precinct 3541?”  I told her I was indeed.  She told me she had also been sent to the gym but found out from her friend that we were really supposed to be in the theatre!  The theatre!  Of course, now why didn’t I know that?  Oh I know… because no one told me!  There were no signs, no one was in charge, and it really was chaos.  And you know what else?  It was 11:29am!  In 1 minute the doors were going to clang closed and my vote would be lost.

I hightailed it to the theatre.  Inside someone told me to go sit in the back of the room.  I did.  Turns out, this was wrong too.  My precinct was meeting in the front of the room.  I finally got myself to the right location.  I told all the Obama volunteers that there were at least 500 people in the cafeteria who needed to be somewhere else.  They raced out to find them.  I wonder if they only informed the Obama supporters or if they were good sports and informed everyone.

I later found out there were 4,000 people at this location.  And not one sign telling people where to go.  Not one volunteer who had correct information about where people were supposed to go.  Not one person who seemed to be in charge.

The temporary chairman of our precinct took the stage and admitted he hadn’t yet read the materials he was given and didn’t have a clue how to proceed.  People immediately started yelling at him.  He got really upset, saying he was just a volunteer.  My opinion on that is that if you are going to volunteer to lead something you should at least find out what you’re supposed to be doing.  Otherwise, make way for someone willing to read the materials ahead of time.  Apparently he had the materials a week prior and did not attend the precinct captain’s meeting.  Lordy.

It took us an extra half an hour just to get people to sit down, be quiet, stop yelling, and pay attention.  The doors closed at noon. 

Let me fast forward to the vote now.  There were 172 people in my precinct and 95 voted for Hillary Clinton while 70 voted for Obama.  The people trying to vote for Kucinich, Edwards and who were uncommitted made up the rest of the tally.  All but one moved to the Obama side when it was time to realign.  But here’s the thing… and I have to take a deep breath before I even type this.  There were a bunch of young people in the room; people who looked to be about 16-18.  And a lot of them were raising their hand to vote.  I figured they were all 18, but I overheard one guy laughing as his vote was counted and he said to his friend, “Hahaha, I can’t believe he counted me.”  And his friend said, “Dude, you’re not supposed to vote!  You’re not even 18!”  To which his young friend said, “Who the hell cares?  It’s not like they’re checking.”  You could have been anyone walking in off the street and you would have had a vote.  Like I mentioned earlier, this country could use some help counting votes correctly.  How hard is it people?

So 6 delegates went to Hillary and 4 to Obama in our precinct.  And I left there feeling odd.  I was so glad to have participated, but very disappointed at the lack of organization.  I found out that several hundred people did not make it to their voting locations because they couldn’t find their room in time.  I was hoping Obama would win, but I wouldn’t keel over if Hillary got the democratic nomination.  As we get closer to the election in November I’ll be taking an even further in depth look at the candidates.  I might have to vote for the person who can create the most accurate voting system.

Still I had to be very proud of the fact that 4,000 people were able to caucus and no one got shot, and no one started a riot, and everyone’s vote was counted (even people who don’t have a vote yet).  Only in America…

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

In the dream I walked into the kitchen in my parents’ house and saw a loaf of sliced bread sitting out on the countertop with its bag sitting right next to it.  I looked around and saw maybe a dozen people sitting in the adjacent den watching television.  I said out loud, “Hey, someone left the bread out.  It’s going to get stale.”  One person glanced my way, shrugged, and turned back to the television.  I felt annoyed.  I said into the room louder, “Hey!  This bread!  Who left it out?  It’s going to get stale?”  Someone turned to me and said, “Just put it away for us will you?  We’re busy.”  I felt miffed.  “No, you left it out, you put it back.  It’s your responsibility!”  I was told to “talk to the hand.”  Now I was angry.  No one tells me to talk to the hand! 

I left the kitchen to seek justice.  In another room I found other people who were deep in conversation.  They seemed to be complaining that the people in the den were irresponsible.  They seemed more aware than the people watching television.  So I went up to them and said, “Hey, did you know there’s a loaf of bread in the kitchen and it’s been left out?  It’s going to go stale unless someone puts it back in its bag.”  The people there looked properly outraged.  One of them said, “Thank you for letting us know.  We’ve been trying to get the others to take more responsibility for leaving food out.  We’ll go in there and demand that they put the bread away.”  The next thing I know, the aware group of people marched into the den and turned off the television.  Outrage and arguing ensued.  I watched.  I saw a lot of accusations flying and some minor physical squabbles.  I looked back to the kitchen and saw the bread sitting out, getting staler by the moment.  “I hope those people can resolve this soon,” I thought.  But it didn’t appear that anything constructive was being done.  Everyone was just arguing about who should put the bread away.

I decided that the best thing I could do was to find a judge who would rule on whose responsibility it was to put the bread away.  So I walked around the house until I found a judge.  I explained the situation and he told me the people who left the bread out in the first place had an obligation to put it back in the bag.  I explained that they didn’t seem willing.  He replied, “Well I’ll write out the judgment and put it on record so at least people know who is responsible.”  I asked him, “Can’t you make them put the bread away?”  He looked at me and said, “That’s not my job.”  I sighed.

I walked back to the kitchen area with my written ruling.  But I saw that the two groups I’d left were just fighting and arguing over this bread.  No one was willing to look at my written judgment.  In fact some people suggested that if I was so concerned about the bread that I just put it away myself, but a part of me felt like that would mean giving in to tyranny.  I’m not the one who left the bread out so why should I put it back?  I mean, if I put the bread away then those people will just do it again, knowing that someone else would clean up their mess.  But I felt frustrated because no one was willing to back down and take responsibility for the situation.

I walked over to the bread to see how stale it had become.  At least a couple of pieces were showing signs of staleness.  I was going to bring this to the attention of the people in the den but suddenly it was as if the bread was speaking to me.  “Please,” it said, “I don’t want to go stale.  Will you help me?”  Compassion welled up inside me for the loaf of bread.  It just clicked what had to be done.  I put the bread in the bag and sealed him up.  I felt its relief.  And I felt good inside.  And I realized in that moment that it doesn’t matter who took the bread out and who is responsible for putting it away.  When you see a situation that needs fixing and you’re capable of fixing it, you fix it.  You don’t argue about who is responsible.  It wastes valuable time.

After I put the bread away I saw that the people in the den were still arguing over what would be done in the future to make sure the bread was safe.  And I looked over at my friend, the loaf of bread, and I said, “Don’t worry little guy.  If they take you out of your bag again I’ll be here to put you back.”  And the bread was happy.  And it was good.  And the people in the den didn’t matter.  No matter what they did or how they messed things up, I vowed to fix them if I could.

So I woke up from this dream and realized that we, as a people, spend an awful lot of time assigning blame and making demands on other people to do what we want them to do.  Meanwhile, there are a lot of things going wrong in the world.  Many of them are easily fixed.  Some of them are happening in our own backyards.  We spend a lot of time electing people who are supposed to represent our wishes, and they spend a lot of time in a big room arguing over what should be done and how much it will cost to do it and who is responsible.  And we already know that you can you give up control to others but never responsibility.  No matter who we elect to serve the public good, we are still responsible as individuals to “put the bread away” when we see it’s been left out. 

Today I challenge you to be on the lookout for bread that’s going stale.  And instead of trying to find out who is responsible or wishing someone would handle it, take responsibility for what you see and put the bread back in the bag.  Rescue it.  In the end the only person responsible for and capable of changing the world is you.

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

First a soul decides it wants to incarnate.  It selects its parents and life circumstances.  When the egg is fertilized a contract has been made; an agreement between the new soul and the parents.  The baby’s soul does not immediately enter into the fetus, however that doesn’t mean that life does not begin at conception.  I would say rather that intent begins at conception.  The contract begins at conception.  Life mazes are created, events are planned, a journey is begun, a commitment is made.

When does the soul enter the fetus?  My understanding, as it has been explained to me by my spirit guides, is that the soul does not fully engage its new body right away.  Rather, it comes and goes freely while the mother’s body is growing its “shell.”  It appears, however, that during the last trimester the baby’s soul will spend most of its time in the womb and hardly any time in the ether.  So somewhere in the second trimester the baby is getting ready to settle in for good.  This is an important stage for the baby as it has to accustom itself to physical life and bond with its mother in a physical and spiritual way.

Miscarriage is not an abortion, as I’m sure everyone knows, but I want to mention that when a miscarriage happens it is often the conscious choice of the baby’s soul who may decide for a wide variety of reasons not to incarnate.  Perhaps its parents’ life circumstances have changed and it can see it won’t be in the same position it expected to be in when it incarnates.  Or perhaps conditions elsewhere in the baby’s maze have changed (for example, a key player in their future dies unexpectedly) and the baby decides the time is not right for it to incarnate.  Sometimes the mother or father’s higher self determines that having a baby at that time would not be right and arranges with the baby’s soul to step out of the incarnation process and seek other parents or wait until the timing is better.  But don’t fret when you have a miscarriage.  The baby’s soul is still very much intact and safe.

Now, let’s get back to the baby in the womb.  There are so many reasons that a woman could choose to have an abortion, I couldn’t possibly cover them all.  But I’ll mention a few of the more obvious reasons:

• Her circumstances have changed and she decides having the baby would be a bad idea (i.e. money problems, a promotion at work, imminent divorce from the baby’s father, etc.)
• She was the victim of rape or incest and does not want to have the child.
• She is getting pressure from the baby’s father or even her family and friends to have the abortion.
• She doesn’t practice safe sex, knew she could end up pregnant, and decided in advance to abort any baby that resulted from her encounters.
• She receives information from a doctor that the baby has a serious birth defect and knows the baby’s quality of life will be poor or its condition fatal.
• She is carrying multiples and the lives of all of the babies are in jeopardy and must selectively abort one or more of them for the sake of the others.
• Her own life would be in danger if she had the child (i.e. delaying cancer treatment).

As you can see, there are many reasons a woman could decide to abort her baby, certainly more than I’ve listed.  But the universe only cares about intent and asks the question: Is it a loving decision?  Is there love here?  Or is there fear and irresponsibility?  The woman who makes the painful decision to abort a child with a known life-threatening defect is not in the same situation – spiritually or karmically – as the irresponsible woman who sees abortion as birth control.  In the first case, there is love.  In the second case there is irresponsibility. 

So what happens to someone who chooses to end their baby’s life before birth?  We do not judge them.  They will judge themselves when they return to the ether, or perhaps even while they are still in this incarnation.  The person who acts irresponsibly will reap some very intense karma because to end the life of a child with whom you have made a spiritual contract does not come without consequences.  The person who acts with love will be forgiven.  In the case of abortion the why is so very important.

A soul that has had its body aborted will return safe and intact to the ether.  There it will decide whether it should try again or wait for another opportunity or other parents.

Is abortion a sin?  Sin implies being judged by someone else, some kind of religious standard.  Truthfully, though, you will judge yourself and your conscience will be your jury.

Is abortion murder?  In the case of the woman who uses abortion as birth control, I would say yes and I would warn any such woman that she will be suffering the consequences of her actions in a pretty serious way.  In the case of a woman who was raped and wants an abortion, then no.  In the case of the couple who has to selectively abort a fetus so that another can live, I would say no. 

But instead of arguing about whether a woman should have a choice or whether abortion is murder, what we really need to be focusing on in our society is prevention of unwanted pregnancies so the question of pro-choice and pro-life does not need addressing.  That means educating young men and women about fertility so they can avoid unplanned pregnancies.  It means removing the concept of rape from our society.  It means coming up with fertility treatments that don’t result in the need for selective abortions.  It means assisting young mothers who cannot take care of their babies so they don’t feel that abortion is their only option.

The bottom line here is that abortion is an act of free will on the part of the incarnated person.  It is allowed, but it comes with serious consequences and should never ever be decided upon lightly.  Breaking a spiritual contract with another soul has serious repercussions.  Think very carefully before you do it or encourage someone else to do it.  Just as I wrote in my article, The Spiritual Consequences of Suicide, choosing to prematurely end the life of another makes you partially responsible for everything that soul was going to accomplish in this life.  It’s a heavy price to pay, and a huge burden to carry.  Be sure you’re willing to accept the consequences before you act.

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

We went to the mall.  First, Marcy dressed schlubby.  We put her in flip flops, a tank top, and jean shorts with frayed edges, and she put on a flannel shirt and left it unbuttoned.  Her hair was down and a little messy.  She carried no purse or bag.  I parked myself unobtrusively on a bench.  She stood in the middle of the crowded walkways and we decided she would ask 10 men and 10 women walking alone (yes, it was hard to find 10 men shopping alone, but we managed over time).

Okay in the first scenario she went up to her 20 people and simply said, “Excuse me, could you give me a quarter to make a phone call?” She gave no explanation as to why she needed it.  All 20 brushed past her or turned her down flat.  Yep.  All 20.  Some were even quite snarly with her.

Next she changed the question and asked another 10 men and 10 women the following, “Excuse me, could you give me a quarter to make a phone call?  I locked my purse and keys in my car and need to call the autoclub.”  All 10 men refused, and 8 women refused, but two women gave her a quarter.  Interesting.  We immediately debriefed these two kind souls and gave them their quarter back. 

We went back the next day to do the second part of the experiment.  This time Marcy dressed in a really nice business suit, wore pantyhose, black pumps, and put her hair up in a tight bun.  She wore a string of pearls around her neck.  We again selected 10 men and 10 women and she asked, “Excuse me, could you give me a quarter to make a phone call?”  This time 5 of the men gave her a quarter and 5 of the women gave her a quarter.  A big improvement.

Next we altered the question and included the reason she needed the money.  “Excuse me, could you give me a quarter to make a phone call?  I locked my purse and keys in my car and need to call the autoclub.”  This time, every single person she stopped gave her the quarter.  All 20.

Interesting, no?  Now, we pretty much expected that people would be more willing to help someone who gave a reasonable explanation.  And we expected that women would be more generous than men.  And although we figured people would be more likely to help someone who didn’t look like a beggar, we were surprised by the negative reactions she got from people when she was dressed schlubby.  Some were so rude, making comments like, “I ain’t your father,” or “Get away from me” or “Get out of here before I call security.”  I remember that Marcy was starting to feel really “small” as she put it as she got rejected over and over again, simply because of how she was dressed.

It wasn’t really a grand experiment, just a little something we did for a class project, but it still fascinated me greatly.  It appeared to me as if people were judging Marcy mainly by the way she was dressed.  They either saw someone they felt comfortable associating with or someone they didn’t want to have any contact with at all.  I’m not sure that people even heard her explanation or her need when she was dressed schlubby.

The next time you see a homeless person begging on a street corner and you decide not to give him or her any money, ask yourself if you’re responding to how they are dressed or their perceived need, or some other factor.

Steve and I thought it would be interesting to try some social experiments out on the Vegas strip or inside the Forum shops at Ceasar’s Palace one day.  What should we test?  Any ideas?  We’ll try some of your ideas and report back.  Should be interesting.

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

My twin sister was one of the representatives and so, coincidentally, was my boyfriend at the time who was president of his fraternity.  We drove up to Santa Barbara together and were looking forward to spending some quality time together.

On Saturday morning more than 100 of us gathered in a meeting room where we met our leadership facilitators.  We were split randomly into groups of 25-30 or so.  My boyfriend, Steve (no relation to my current husband), and I ended up in the same group and my sister in another.  All groups were isolated so we could not see what was happening in any other group.  Our facilitator told us we were a culture called the Bobians.  We were all given a sheet of paper describing our cultural attributes and traits.  Here were some of ours.

• Egalitarian society: Men and women treated equally.
• Commerce-oriented: Trading and making money were very high on our list of things to do on a quiet Sunday afternoon.
• Language: We had an unusual language which we had to spend 30 minutes learning and practicing.  If you didn’t know the key to the language you would never understand what we were talking about.  But we all finally understood how it worked and were able to communicate quite easily with each other.
• Competition:  Whoever had the most paper money at the end of the exercise would win a huge prize.  We were given play money.
• No grouping: We were encouraged to spend time as an entire group instead of breaking off into cliques.
• No touching: We were told that as a culture we didn’t touch each other.  It was considered very rude to shake hands or have other physical contact.

We spent 30 minutes interacting with each other as a culture to get used to who we were supposed to be.  We mingled, got money from each other, laughed at our silly language, and it was fun.  I wasn’t very good at the commerce part, so I didn’t have a whole lot of money at the end, but I didn’t care.

Next we were told that 2 ambassadors from another culture were going to come to our fair city and that we needed to send 2 ambassadors to their culture as part of an exchange program.  I volunteered to go and teach this other culture how we worked.  I knew the language barrier might be tough, but I was still game.

Steve and I were selected to go to the other culture.  My sister, part of this culture, was selected to go to our culture.  This is where it got interesting.

As we approached the new culture I saw that there seemed to be small groups of them.  I immediately approached a group of three women and started speaking in my native tongue and waving money at them, hoping I could con them somehow into giving me some of their money.  As I approached I saw that they were very friendly, and all of them reached out and touched me on the arm in greeting.  I recoiled since touching was not part of our culture.  They began asking me about my family (they spoke English) and wanted to know about my female ancestors, and I was totally bored.  I tried to get them to talk about money but they didn’t understand a word I was saying.  So I put some money out and made gestures for trading and they handed me a bunch of tootsie rolls!  Ack!  Not what I wanted. 

I looked over at my boyfriend to see how he was doing.  He was in a group of men who were all surrounding him and everyone was trying to shake his hand.  He looked uncomfortable.  He was trying to get money out of them and was succeeding!  They had money, not Tootsie Rolls!  I waved my partner over and as he approached I saw all the women in my group retreat and fall to their knees, bowing to him.  He smiled wide.  He liked that.  Didn’t understand it, but he liked it.  I was confused too.  But these women were totally admiring him and worshipping him (and throwing Tootsie Rolls at him too!).  I didn’t get that kind of treatment!

I decided to go over to the men since they had all the money apparently.  As I approached, all the men closed ranks when they saw me coming and stopped speaking.  They moved away from me.  I pursued, asking in my language for them to trade me some money.  They started looking at me oddly and with a little hostility.  I started becoming very uncomfortable.  In another area, I saw 5 really big fraternity boys and I went over there and got pretty pushy in my request for money.  After all, I had to win the game and go back to my tribe with some of their money.  I heard the women near me freaking out and telling me to come back to them and tell them about my female ancestors.  Bah!  I had no time for that sort of nonsense.  I continued yapping at these huge guys in my language.  They told me to go back to the women and remember my place!  But I didn’t want to be with the women, I wanted money so I kept yapping.  Suddenly, one of them roared at me (yes, roared) and charged me!  I’ve never played football but I suddenly felt like a quarterback about to be sacked!  He grabbed me bodily, hoisted me into the air, and threw me on the ground where I rolled and hit a wall.  All of my money (and Tootsie Rolls) flew out of my hands.  I threw my hands up to protect myself from further attack as I saw all of these guys bearing down on me.  I had no earthly idea what just happened but I knew I didn’t like it.  My boyfriend saw what happened to me and went crazy.  He jumped on the guy that threw me to the ground and they started physically fighting, all thoughts of our leadership training weekend were completely forgotten. 

The facilitators saw this guy assault me and raced over to try to calm things down.  I was shaking and upset because I really had no idea why this guy threw me down.  What the hell was he thinking!?  It was just a game!  Members of my boyfriend’s fraternity jumped into the fray because my boyfriend was getting his ass kicked (hey, I always went for the geeks, not the jocks).  So the other fraternity boys jumped in too and before long we had a complete brawl going on.

They had to call security in to break everyone up.  I had minor injuries, mainly bumps and bruises from being thrown to the ground and rolling into the wall, but I was otherwise undamaged.  My boyfriend’s face wasn’t looking too good though.  It was an insane and scary experience.

Finally, when things calmed down enough, our facilitators explained what the deal was.  Apparently, this other tribe/culture had very different social norms than we did (you can say that again!).  Here is what their culture was like:

• Male dominated society: Women were never allowed to stand in the presence of men and had to bow down before them or risk exile from the tribe.
• Family ancestors were very important: Women could only discuss female relatives, but men were encouraged to discuss their male relatives and their accomplishments. 
• Money was only for men: The women had Tootsie Rolls and the men carried all the money, and never the twain should meet.
• Group clustering: A man could enter a female group, but a female was never allowed to approach a group of males, ever!

Okay, that explained a LOT!  That’s why the guys were so upset that I approached them waving money around and didn’t bow.  But he didn’t have to throw me down!  He apologized to me later and said he was so into the game that he didn’t really think about what he was doing.  He kept expecting me to bow to him, and when I wouldn’t, it made him really angry and he wanted to put me in my place.

We found out that when the male and female of this tribe came to our tribe they were eventually completely ignored since the female (my sister) only tried discussing her female relatives with the women of my tribe and, seeing she didn’t have money (and thus no value), was completely shunned.  The male didn’t fare much better because he kept trying to touch people and was eventually shunned too.

So what did we learn from this?  I learned a lot, actually.  I learned that when you don’t fully understand someone else’s culture that it’s really easy for misunderstandings to occur.  I learned that different cultures value different things and neither one is necessarily right or wrong.  I learned that before you go into a culture it would be wise to find out what they consider proper and improper behavior, or it could start a war!  And I learned that even if people have differences in beliefs and culture that we should still all try to get along and learn from each other.

I also learned that it’s wise to watch for subtle (and not so subtle) cues from other people.  There were many signs that these men were becoming agitated but I didn’t heed the signs and ended up starting a brawl.

I see a lot of culture clash going on in the world today.  We seem to fight over money, religion, and resources.  Is it because we have different values and different cultures?  Do we have the right to attack another culture simply because they are different? I wonder what would happen if we spent more time learning and understanding people of other cultures instead of judging and killing them. 

The goal of that leadership retreat was to teach us how to communicate with people who weren’t necessarily just like us.  But, as in life, our differences were more obvious than our similarities, and it literally led to war, albeit on a small scale.  I’ll never forget my experience at that retreat.  I wonder how many others who were there that day even think about it anymore.  I wonder what they took from the experience.

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

For the experiment, our professor announced that he needed 4 male volunteers and that by participating in the experiment they had the chance to gain points they could apply to our upcoming test to improve their grade.  Free points basically.  People’s hands went up fast.  Our professor selected a big, beefy, muscular guy, two guys who were average in build, and one lean guy.

They sat on the floor in front of the class and our professor put this strange square-shaped board in front of them.  It had a rope that stretched in all four directions, circles drawn in each corner, and a pencil was attached right in the middle of the cross of ropes.  Professor put the muscular guy directly opposite the lean guy, and the two average guys across from each other and handed each guy an end of this rope.

Professor then said, “Your goal is to pull the pencil into your circle using your end of the rope and you can only use one hand.  Every time the pencil gets into your circle you get another point on your test.  You are NOT allowed to speak at any time, nor is anyone in the class.  You can use any means to get the pencil to your circle, just do not let the board leave the ground.  You’ll have 60 seconds.”  Can you guess what happened when he said, “Go!”

Everyone immediately pulled on their ropes, so the pencil didn’t move because it was being pulled on with the same force.  Muscular guy began using his muscles in earnest and was really tugging on his rope hard, which caused lean guy to panic since he could not compete with the guy’s muscles.  Muscular guy sensed victory, as lean guy began to lose ground.  The two other guys had roughly even strength so they were making no headway in bringing the pencil to their end of the board.  Muscular guy almost had his pencil in the circle.  And that’s when I saw the two average guys exchange a look that clearly read, “If we can’t get the pencil in our circles, no way we’re gonna let this guy get it in his.”  So they started pulling their ends of the rope back towards the lean guy!  Now it was 3 against 1.  The muscular guy looked betrayed as the other guys ganged up on him.  He redoubled his efforts, digging his legs into the ground and nearly standing up in his attempts to get those points!  After 60 seconds, no one had gotten a single point and all of them seemed really angry with each other. 

Our professor sent them back to their seats and said, “I wonder if the ladies would like to try?”  Same rules.  Four women volunteered.  I thought to myself, “Now we’re going to see some cooperation!”  They sat down, picked up their ropes, and the professor said, “Go.”  What do you think happened this time?

Not what I was expecting, I can tell you that!  All of the women pulled hard on their ropes, and one woman seemed to have a plan.  She pulled really hard on her end of the rope while everyone else did the same, but then she suddenly let go of her rope which sent all three of the other women flying backwards.  Sensing victory, she grabbed her end of rope again and pulled really hard.  But the other women were even more angry by this tactic than muscular guy had been when he got ganged up on.  So before she could get the pencil into her circle, they grabbed their ends of the rope and did everything they could to prevent her from getting a single point.  After 60 seconds, none of the women had a point. 

I was shocked by what I saw.  It was so obvious to me how this game needed to be played.  The teacher said, “Is there anyone else out there who thinks they know a way to get that pencil into their circle?”  I wanted to raise my hand but I was not confident enough back then, though I knew what had to be done.  So did four others.  Two boys and two girls went to the board and picked up their ropes.  Professor said, “Go!”  Immediately all four of them, without saying a word, dropped their ropes.  The rope lay there, untouched.  One person put her hand out and tentatively grabbed the rope.  With no resistance whatsoever from anyone else at the board, she pulled the pencil easily into her circle.  Then she dropped the rope and pointed to the person on her left.  This person picked up the rope and pulled the pencil into his circle, and then he too dropped the rope.  The next person did the same and finally number 4 did the same as well.  In this manner, they all took turns pulling the pencil into their circle.  By the time 60 seconds had passed, all of them had 10 points each.  No anger.  No animosity.  No pain.  No struggle.  No sides.  Just cooperation and trust.  Trust that if you let your neighbor get a point, he would let you get the next one.

That’s how this game needs to be played, people, and I’m not talking about the wooden board anymore.  What would happen if we all let go of our ropes?  What would happen if we just started trusting our neighbors?  Sure, maybe in the beginning someone would grab that rope and try to keep all the points for themselves.  But I truly believe that, deep in our hearts, when we feel like we’ll have enough “points” then we would gladly give others a chance to get some “points” too.  Don’t you think so?

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

Stop complaining.

No.  I mean it.  Complaining accomplishes nothing.  If you have a problem with something, you’re responsible for fixing it.  I learned this in college when I was in a leadership position.  Here is what happened and how it taught me never to complain again.

In college, I was the Vice President of Membership of my sorority, Sigma Kappa.  My job was to get us as many new pledges/members as possible during Rush week.  It was a huge job.  There were 4 days of Rush and up to 8 parties per day to plan.  I had to train the members on how to interact with Rushees, make sure the room was decorated properly, get everyone the same outfits, prepare speeches, get everyone fed, fill out forms, stay up late, motivate the tired troops, yada yada yada.  I had a couple of assistants but it was a still a ton of work.

On Day 3 of Rush, we were required to do a stage performance for our guests.  Dancing, singing, something entertaining.  I had to find sisters with some talent who were willing to perform 3 times in a 5 hour period, and who didn’t already have other jobs on other days.  And they had to be good!  I looked through the roster and realized there were only three girls left who didn’t have major jobs to do.  I asked them if they would do it and they agreed.  When I made the announcement to my sorority members on one of our training days, I noticed that there was a certain uncomfortable shuffling going on.  Hmm… what was that all about?

Later that night I got a call from a sister who was really irate.  She laid into me the moment I picked up the phone.  Here is roughly how our conversation went.

Sorority Sister:  Erin! I can’t believe you picked those three to do our entertainment.  They are the flakiest people in our sorority.  They’re going to ruin everything!  They probably won’t even rehearse and they’ll probably flake the day of the party.  We’ll be screwed!  What were you thinking?

Erin:  Well, I was thinking that a) when I asked for volunteers no one raised their hand, b) all three of these girls are gorgeous and very talented, and c) they agreed to do it.  I don’t see a problem.

Sorority Sister:  Well a bunch of us are really upset by this and we’re going to go over your head and tell the advisors that you’re not doing a good job and you’re going to totally screw up Rush for us.  We’re going to recommend that they replace you unless you start doing things right.

Erin:  (now I was annoyed, but I had a bright idea.)  You know what, Sorority Sister dear?  You’re right.  These three girls are total flakes.  There really is a good chance that they won’t practice and won’t even show up for Rush.  So you know what… YOU’RE now in charge of them.  You get to plan their practice sessions, you get to figure out what their costumes are going to be, and you’re going to be 100% responsible for making sure they and their costumes are at Rush on time, and that they are ready to perform, even if you have to pick them up in their pajamas from their boyfriends’ houses the morning of Rush!

Sorority Sister:  Oh, er, uh.  Well.  I mean, I don’t really have time to get involved in something like that.  I mean, that’s so much responsibility. I just want you to fix it.

Erin:  Look, you had time to complain, and besides, everything you said is right.  Now, are you going to be part of the problem or part of the solution? 

Sorority Sister was silent. She was thinking.

Erin:  And you know what?  I think you would be the perfect person to keep them on track and make sure they practice.

Sorority Sister:  Really?  You think so?

Erin:  Absolutely.  You obviously care a lot about our sorority and the success of Rush, right?

Sorority Sister:  Yes, I do, very much.

Erin:  Then help me.  Because I can’t do it alone.  I need you.

Sorority Sister:  Okay, Erin.  I think I can do it.  You know what?  I CAN do it. 

And you know what?  She did!  She rode those girls hard and made sure they practiced.  And when they came out on stage dressed in their beautiful black gowns with the white gloves and started singing, the crowd went wild!  That year we had our best Rush in our chapter’s history and won the Presidential Award too.  After Rush, that sorority sister was beaming with pride.  She called me up and apologized for how rudely she treated me and thanked me for showing her how to be part of the solution instead of part of the problem.  I also got a call from one of the three girls who sang.  She said, “You know what Erin?  We were so surprised when you asked us to sing at Rush.  We thought everyone thought we were flakes and weren’t good enough to do anything.  But we really enjoyed ourselves.  Thanks for believing in us and giving us a chance to do something for our sorority.”

Success all around.  Lessons learned.

My motto is, “If you’re not willing to do something about it, don’t complain.”  You don’t have the right.  Don’t flap your gums, flap your arms!  Get in there and fix it if you don’t like it.  If I don’t like how something is done, I do something about it.  If I don’t want to do something about it (which happens) then I don’t complain. 

If it’s really important to you, then you do it.  Don’t expect other people to adopt your agenda and put it into action.  Don’t expect other people to fix your problems.  They’re all out there fixing their own problems.  If you don’t like where the ship is going, grab the wheel and turn it around.  If you don’t want to steer the ship, then get out of the way of people who do.  And if you end up in a port you didn’t want to be in, tough.

When you take responsibility for your own life then there is no one else you need praise or blame.  There is no “they.”  “They” are not going to fix the world.  You are!

So suit up and get out there.  Get your hands dirty, don’t just stand there holding a towel for someone else.  The world needs people willing to do something, not people who just talk about doing something.  Don’t just raise your voice, lift your feet and get moving!

Because … you obviously care a lot about our world, right?  Then help me, because no one can do it alone.  The world needs you.

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

I wrote a previous blog entry about Why I Never Watch the News, and I still don’t watch it.  It’s negative, social conditioning, designed to instill fear.  I only watch shows that I actually want to see, and try never to turn on the tv just to see what’s on. 

Television is a medium.  It’s a communication tool.  Right now I think it’s being used to instill a lot of fear in people, and it’s also being used to socially condition us to buy things or do things.  But television itself, as a medium, is not inherently bad.  It is an effective way to disseminate information very quickly to a large number of people.  If television was used as a tool to help bring our planet and people together, I would feel better about its use.

Recently my daughter started watching Nickelodeon.  The shows on this station are horrid!  I watched episodes of Jimmy Neutron and Fairly Odd Parents and I was shocked by what they are teaching our children.  Namely, to ditch school, to defy their parents, to form cliques, to make fun of others, and worse.  The reason I was so shocked to see this was because previously, all she ever watched was Noggin.  I happen to love Noggin, whose slogan is “Like preschool, on TV.”  The shows on Noggin are pretty good.  They teach children to love, be compassionate, how to make friends, how to have good manners, to be kind, and how to be fair.  Many shows call for interactions from the kids, as they teach them about colors, shapes, how to tell time, how to be nice to your siblings, etc. 

I stopped letting my daughter watch Nick and have moved her back to Noggin.  She has no idea what a Power Ranger is.  Recently, she was at a school party and they’d invited two Power Rangers to do a demonstration with the kids.  My daughter was the only one that didn’t know what a Power Ranger was.  She also doesn’t know what Bratz are.  And I’m glad.  I don’t know how long that will last, but I’m happy right now.  She watches just a few hours of television per week, which I know is way better than average.  She, herself, much prefers to play with her little brother, go treasure hunting in the backyard,  pretend to use her magical powers to fly, or dance and make up songs in the living room.

One reason I watch television is that I need a way to ground myself at the end of the day.  I’ve heard both John Holland and John Edward say that after doing mediumship for an entire day they have to bring themselves back down to earth and they do that by drinking caffeine, watching television, and having some sugar.  I’ve had days where I’ve been on the outer planes for upwards of 8 hours and I can tell you that at the end of a long day like that, I need to come down a few levels myself! 

So what shows do I watch?  Okay, this may surprise you.   Here is my list:

• Charmed (before it was cancelled)
• Supernatural
• Smallville
• Medium
• Ghost Whisperer 
• Buffy the Vampire Slayer (before it was cancelled)
• Angel (before it was cancelled)
• Lost

See a pattern?  Okay okay, I can’t help it!  I love shows with a paranormal bent to them.  I’m glad those shows are on so they get people accustomed to the paranormal.  I know they’re not “real” but I know they’re based on real things.  I think fiction is an ingenious way to make people aware of things they wouldn’t otherwise learn about on their own.

There’s another reason why I watch those types of shows and that’s because I’m interested in writing a tv series myself.  Or a book, or a movie.  One of my goals is to use fiction to explain a lot of what I talk about in my blog, because fiction is so easily swallowed.  Try doing a documentary about communicating with spirits and see how many people tune in.  But create a show like Medium or Ghost Whisperer and people are there!  There are so many things I think people on our planet need to be aware of.  If no one else is going to write about them, I will.

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

Once I got to high school, I realized what this show was all about.  Journalists and reporters would find out what was going on in the world and report it on television or in the newspaper.  Apparently, to be a responsible adult in our society, you had to know the latest news, weather, and sports.  So I watched the news upon occasion to find out what was going on in the world.  I figured the world must be in a pretty sad state since 95% of the news reported seemed really bad, and very dramatic I might add.  People were getting murdered, countries were at war, children were drowning in backyard swimming pools, celebrities were being arrested, there were hurricanes all over the place, and some sports team I’d never heard of won a cup or a ribbon or something else that seemed terribly important. 

After college I really began to notice some things.  For one, I noticed that the reporters would talk about some new miracle drug on the market and then they would cut to a commercial and that same company would be … oh shock of shocks… advertising that very drug.  Hmm, weird coincidence.  Um, isn’t that drug company essentially paying those reporters’ salaries?  I noticed that the headlines they used to get you to watch the news were just a wee bit exaggerated and usually kind of scary (”what you don’t know about eating at fast food restaurants that could kill you!  News at 11.”)  How could I not tune in?  My very life was on the line!  Sometimes the news would cut into another program with “breaking news.”  It was never good.  Someone important was usually dead, or there was a hostage situation somewhere that we simply had to watch, or the police were chasing a vehicle down a crowded highway.

I remember wondering why they never reported the good news.  And one channel actually did!  I remember it was ABC, and the show was called “And the good news is…” and they spent 30 minutes from 11pm to 11:30pm talking about all the wonderful things going on in America.  But no one watched it and it was cancelled shortly after it began.  And that really got me wondering… Why do people watch the news?  To see how bad other people’s lives are going?  To be the first to know if Brad and Angelina had their baby?  To find out what country we’re invading?  To see dead bodies burning in a ditch?

It took me until my 30’s to realize something about the news.  It’s all fear-based.  If someone isn’t dying or crying we don’t want to know about it.  What does that say about us as a society?  When people tune into the news and all they see is death and destruction they start to become a vibrational match for that; they start to expect it.  They go around saying or thinking, “Our world is in such a bad state.  People are dying all over the planet.  Our environment is going to hell in a handbasket.  People are invading countries and killing women and children.  When is Brad going to dump Angelina and go to back to Jennifer?  And gosh darnit, my favorites sports team lost again!  What is the world coming to?!”

When you watch the news you are accepting that version of reality.  And it’s not always reality!  Sometimes a reporter risks being fired if they tell the truth because it might shed a bad light on one of their company’s biggest advertisers.  I remember a case in Florida where two reporters were fired for refusing to water down an investigative report on Monsanto’s controversial milk hormone, rGBH.  What do you think happens to the truthfulness in news when big, powerful companies are the ones paying everyone’s salaries?  That’s kind of like having the people that approve vaccines also holding stock in the vaccine companies.  Couldn’t happen here, right?  Oh no, not in America.

On a spiritual level, when you accept what you see on the news as reality then you are sending out a vibration to the Universe to bring more of it.  Instead of being anti-war, we need to be pro-peace.  Instead of a War on Terror, we need to work on being a Peaceful Nation.  When do we ever hear news anchors tell us how close we are to achieving World Peace?  “98% of the world is at peace today, folks.  Let’s hear it for them!  We’re almost there, everyone!  Keep up the great work!”

When you watch the news with all its propaganda, spin doctors, and edited footage you are being brain-washed into accepting that our world is in a state that it is not in! 

Yes, we need to know what’s happening in the world.  We need to know if people need help.  We need to know if a level 5 hurricane is coming.  We need to know if we are being bombed.  But the way the news is today, it’s more about selling newspapers and being the number one news show on television than about letting people know the true state of our world.  It’s all about money.

Don’t give all the hype all of your power and attention.  Don’t reinforce to the Universe that we are living in a time of war, famine, murder, and disease.  You get what you think about (or are told to think about).  Let the Universe know that there are people on this planet who are loving, kind, compassionate, and peaceful.  Keep your thoughts loving, kind, compassionate, and peaceful so we get more of that.

Don’t walk around in a state of fear generated by outside sources who may not even be telling us the full story.  Let your mind see the beauty in our world, the love, the justice, the everyday man or woman helping out their neighbor.  Let those thoughts and experiences fill you with hope.  Reflect those experiences back to the Universe and more of them will come.

Free your mind.

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

I am approaching this topic from a very 4th dimensional perspective, and if you follow my reasoning along this path you might agree with me.  No one has the right to prematurely end another’s life.  I don’t care if it’s one person to another, or one country to another.  Purposely ending the experience of an incarnated soul breaks a spiritual chain.  It’s like purposely removing a piece from a puzzle; if you do that, you can never really see the true picture.  You can infer, but you can’t really know. 

What about people who murder children or kill thousands of people with a bomb?  Same thing.  We, as a society, do not have the right to kill … anyone … for any reason, whatsoever.  It amazes me that it’s illegal to kill yourself but it’s perfectly fine to bomb another country and kill innocent children.  If a person wants to end their own life and they are fully aware of the consequences (spiritual and physical) of doing so, then more power to them.  Sometimes going “home” is the only option to end suffering.  But that’s up to the person making that decision.

If we don’t kill the murderers, then what are we supposed to do with them?  That’s a great question.  But just because we may not have the best answer to that question doesn’t mean we should give up trying to find one.  I personally believe that when someone callously and without conscience takes the life of another human being that they should be removed from society and rehabilitated.  Not with punishment and control but with love.  I know, I know.  It sounds like I’m living in a dream world (wouldn’t be the first time ).  But in an ideal world, people wouldn’t dream of taking the life of another human being.  If we could learn to love and to teach our children how to love, if we can teach our children the value of existence, if we can show love and compassion to everyone then we’ll never have to figure out what to do with murderers because there won’t be any.

What about the victims and their families?  Don’t they deserve justice?  The victims and their families deserve compassion, love, support, and healing.  I’m not saying murderers should walk free and go to Disneyland.  People who are unable to respect the personal rights of others should not be allowed to be with others.  In a perfect world, they should be removed to an island, given serious rehabilitation, given tons of love and support, and when they are ready, they should be integrated back into society.  They shouldn’t sit around in a jail cell; they should be shown how to love and learn to be contributing members of society.  Arbitrary prison sentences are stupid.  Who knows if a criminal will be rehabilitated in 6 years or 50?  A criminal should stay on the island until he or she is fully rehabilitated.  Or, they should live out the rest of their lives on that island, away from society. 

What about an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth?  Totally misinterpreted, people.  That doesn’t mean that if someone slaps you that you should slap them back.  An eye for an eye means that when you hurt someone, you are hurt.  Your soul is hurt.  Your karma is sown.  Two wrongs don’t make a right, and all that.  If someone harms me that’s something they have to bear.  If I harm them back, we’re not even.  Now we’re both going to reap karma for our actions.

We need to spend more time teaching our children to grow up compassionately instead of finding new ways to punish people who commit crimes.  An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

A murderer should be given the opportunity to make amends for their actions.  Hey, it may never happen, but they should still be given the opportunity.

If you are in favor of the death penalty just remember that you are in favor of murder.  Call it justified if you want, it’s still murder.

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.