I also get: “How can I prevent myself from being reincarnated? I’m so afraid of being sent back here, only to suffer again like I’ve suffered in this life. What do I have to do to earn a good life?”

In this article I’ll explain a little more about reincarnation, suffering, and the choices you have.

First, rest assured that no one is going to make you come back to Earth if you don’t want to. It’s entirely your choice if you want to come back. Now some of you are thinking, “Well good then, I’m never coming back!” Don’t be so sure. More on that in a minute.

Secondly, no one was sent here to suffer. No one was sent here with some predetermined plan of suffering. Bad things happen, things that hurt us, no doubt about it. But suffering is a choice. Suffering is the decision you make to view your life as horrible versus seeing what you have to be grateful for. You can stop suffering at any time.

Third, think of Earth as a playground or a park. You came here to play. Maybe you play on the slide, or sit on a swing, or play in the sand. Maybe you interact with other kids, or maybe you play alone. Maybe you play baseball in the park with a team, or maybe you just take a walk in the grass and climb a tree once in a while. Sometimes you go to the playground and have fun! And sometimes you go to the park and are attacked by bees or bullies. Sometimes you enjoy the park, and sometimes you come home and say, “Rough day at the park.” But then what happens? You go back again.

No matter how horrible your day was at the park, you give it another shot. Maybe next time you go to the park, you take a ball and invite other kids to play with you. Maybe the next time you go to the park, you decide you’re going to take a walk instead of trying to get 100 kids together to build a sand castle with you. The park offers so many different experiences, you’d be hard pressed to experience them all in one visit.

So let’s say you’re at the park and some kids kick sand at you and bury you up to your eyeballs. You’re not having fun at all. You go home and complain to your parents, “Hated the park. Mean people at the park. Never going back!” Your parents smile kindly at you with empathy. After a time, you get over it and decide to try the park again, and this time you have an amazing and wonderful time at the park. You come home and tell your parents, “Today was awesome! A bunch of us got together and decided to play baseball. I loved it. Had such a good time. Can’t wait to go back!” Your parents smile kindly at you.

Life is just a bunch of days at the park. When you have a bad day, you vow never to go back. When you have a good day you can’t wait to get back and play again. But the park is just the playground. You decide what experience you’re going to have there.

So before you decide you’re never coming back, realize that once you get “home” you’ll have a different perspective on life, and it may come as a complete surprise to you that you decide to go play again. If you could realize now, while you are still here, that there are many ways to enjoy the park, you might find this life isn’t as bad as you think it is.

If a spirit decides to linger, they will often “hang out” in their home, or where they died, or around loved ones. This can result in a haunting, which sounds worse than it is, because most spirits are benign. Occasionally you’ll get a nasty spirit who wants to harm you or scare you, but most often they’re just lingering, hoping for connection, or hoping to stay out of hell (can’t blame them for that, although there is no real hell so it’s a real shame they feel the need to hover).

So what can you do? Is there a way to help a spirit cross over into the light, into the warm loving embrace of Source, where they will merge back with Love? Yes there is.

Untimely Death
Someone who dies unexpectedly often can’t let go right away. Perhaps they have unfinished business. Perhaps they feel they need to get a message to a loved one before they cross over, believing that once they cross over they won’t be able to make contact.

If this is the type of lingering spirit you’ve got, then your best bet is to give them their say. If you know how to communicate with the dead, tune in and let them tell you what they need to tell you. I’ve had spirits tell me where their will is, what their computer password is for their family, and the name of their murderer. If you are not skilled in this, contact a good medium and see if he or she can channel a message for you. If you want to communicate on your own, develop your intuitive modalities, learn to lucid dream, or raise your vibration and meditate your way into a conversation with them.

Once they feel they’ve been heard, they will cross over.

Death by Suicide
When people take their own life, often they feel regret, guilt, or shame once it’s done. Some don’t feel they deserve to be in “heaven” so they keep themselves here. Some carry with them such a strong feeling of remorse, that they just can’t go on. They stick around, beseeching their loved ones for understanding and forgiveness, and sometimes there is unfinished business as well.

If this is the type of spirit lingering around you, send them forgiveness and understanding as best you can. Maybe that can’t happen right away, but the spirit needs to know it’s okay to move on and that you forgive them. Use the same methods described above to connect with them.

Once they feel forgiven they often cross over.

Murderers
One of the most common spirits that linger are those that fear they are going to hell. They know they’ve done wrong and can’t imagine being forgiven. Unfortunately, when they linger it’s usually not a good thing. Their fear, anger, and guilt can cause them to become mean and nasty while in limbo. Their energy is often dark, low and negative. This may manifest in ways that scare you or can even harm you. You want to get them unattached from you or your location as soon as possible.

For this type of spirit, I don’t really recommend talking to them if you don’t have experience with psychic self-defense or mediumship. It can turn ugly on you real fast. Contact a paranormal investigation team, or a medium experienced with these types of spirits and leave it to them. Otherwise you risk losing a lot of your energy as they siphon it away from you, or of anchoring them to your location, or attaching them to your person. It’s no good any way you slice it.

If you are a medium
If you are a medium and are called in to help cross over a spirit, the first thing you want to do is make contact with them. It’s helpful if you have a member of their family present who can help you verify what the spirit is telling you.

Once you’ve established communication, pass along any messages from them to their family and vice versa. Sometimes a conversation is all they need to release their hold on this life. If no family is present, then reassure the spirit that you will pass along the messages if you can, or if there is no family you can connect with, then simply listen and reassure them that they no longer need to worry about what’s going on here, and that they can safely and comfortably release and cross over.

Most often a spirit will be happy to let go and move on. If you connect with a spirit who stubbornly refuses to cross over, especially one that is bothering a family or person or location, then you’ll have to call in the big guns. Ask archangel Michael to assist you by either escorting the spirit across the threshold or by offering a shield to the family or location so that the spirit can’t bother them anymore. Be sure you advise the family how to prevent themselves from unwittingly inviting the spirit back.

Bottom Line
You can talk to anyone who has crossed over and they will hear you. You can talk to them out loud or telepathically, as long as you’re thinking about them hard and directing your energy at them, they will receive the message. You may not always hear them back if you don’t know how to tune in to energy from the other side, but at the very least you can rest assured knowing they DO hear you. Send reassurance, love, forgiveness, and compassion to those who linger. It’s in everyone’s best interest for those that have died to cross over fully.

I wrote back to her immediately and wanted to share what I told her in case someone else reading this is in a similar situation and wants to know what happens to their baby when it crosses over, and also whether they will see their child again.

When you cross over, you are greeted by loved ones. That includes your baby. But you must also understand that your baby isn’t a baby on the other side. When we incarnate, we are born into a tiny body, but our souls are actually fully grown so to speak. And when a baby dies, although its body is small, it’s spirit is fully mature. When that soul reaches the other side, it does not stay in baby form. It reverts back to a fully mature conscious energy.

Your child is not a helpless, small person on the other side. I know it might be hard to imagine them any other way since that’s the only way you knew them. Similarly, our grandparents are not old and frail on the other side either. People who were once physically or mentally disabled are no longer so on the other side. Once the body is sloughed away, the soul itself is a vibrant, energetic, fully conscious, and intact being.

When you get to the other side, you will be greeted by the soul of the child you lost, and it will not appear as an infant. You will recognize it immediately though, so don’t be concerned about that.

I hope it brings you comfort to know that your child is intact and capable on the other side. In fact, often our children are even more evolved souls than we are. Do not fear for them or worry that they are not being taken care of. They need none of the care that a human baby would need while here on Earth.

I know it doesn’t remove the sorrow and the longing, but I hope it helps a little to know that they are just fine on the other side and that you will indeed see them again.

Answer: Great question. Instead of saying “multiple families” I would instead use the term “multiple loved ones.” When you die, you will be greeted by the souls and spirits of the people you have the strongest connection to, whether they are from your most recent life or a past one. Some of these folk may have been your family members in several lives. So yes, you will encounter spirits from previous lives who may not have been with you during the most recent life.

You will also encounter your spirit guides, who have guided you throughout your life but who may or may not have ever incarnated themselves. Love is love. Connection is connection. You will naturally be attracted to and reunited with the energies you felt closest to, from this life or others.

Once you cross over, you may merge right back in with your higher self, remembering all the previous times you’ve incarnated, or you may choose instead to hang on to the most recent personality and stay connected with your family who are still living.

This is why sometimes when I try to connect with deceased loved ones on the other side, they are simply not there anymore. They have sloughed off this ego and have merged back with their collective higher self consciousness. I can’t call “Uncle Charlie” if he, as a spirit, no longer identifies himself as Uncle Charlie. But if he’s around and still interested in what’s going on during this time period, he will often come through with support, love, and advice from the other side.

Answer: It can be super frustrating to desire to connect with a specific deceased relative and they never seem to show up to the party.

I recall reading for a gal and her dad was coming through really strongly. He told me his name, gave her some validation, and we were off and running. My client said, “Yeah, that’s my dad. He comes to every reading. He’s around all the time.” Meanwhile, she was frustrated because she also wanted to hear from her mother who never seemed to come through.

Why do some spirits always show up and others never come? There could be several reasons.

First, the deceased person may not want to come through. For whatever reason, they may simply not desire to communicate. That doesn’t mean they hate you. That doesn’t mean they can’t come through. That doesn’t mean they aren’t watching over you. Perhaps they don’t want to interfere in the course of your life. Perhaps they trust that you can get along without their guidance or interruption.

Second, the deceased person may not be able to come through. Deceased people don’t get to the other side suddenly able to speak energetically to a living person. It takes energy and finesse to communicate with the living. Your deceased loved one may not have figured it out yet. Give them time.

Third, the deceased may have disconnected. Some people cross over and are fully engaged with their new existence in the ether. They disconnect their energy from their old life and are simply done. They turn their attention in an entirely new direction. Don’t be insulted. You’ll understand when you reach the ether yourself that sometimes you stay emotionally connected with the living and sometimes you don’t.

Fourth, the deceased may be there but no one is hearing them. Sometimes the dead are jumping up and down around us, trying to get our attention, but we don’t detect them. It’s not easy. If it was easy, everyone would be doing it. Sometimes the medium is unable to get the right frequency. Sometimes the dead person is not transmitting in a way that the medium can pick up. If the medium is very clairsentient but the dead person is transmitting in a clairvoyant way, then the medium may be unable to detect the presence of the dead person. Keep trying with different mediums, or keep trying on your own.

I know it can feel very sad if you’re trying to get closure or reconnect with a loved one and they don’t seem to be there, but you don’t want to expend so much energy trying to communicate with a deceased loved one that you stop living your own life. This is why it’s vitally important to tell your loved ones how much you love them while they are still here.

In the meantime, send love to your dearly departed. They will receive it. Take comfort in knowing they are alright and that you’ll see them again when you reach the other side.

Answer: In my best Morpheus voice, “Do you think that’s air you’re breathing? Hmm.” Time does not exist over there the way it does over here. Likewise, beings of the caliber you’re talking about can absolutely put their consciousness in more than one place at the same time.

It would be difficult to explain or understand how this works from our current physicality/density, but trust me, angels and other beings are more than capable of interacting with and assisting throngs of people at the same time.

Like I’ve mentioned in other posts, this life experience you’re having is more illusion than real. And the people you see wandering around the streets, are more you than not you. What’s really awesome is that you have unlimited access to anything and everything because you are All.

Most people spend their entire lives in a state of disconnection from their Source, but luckily we are still connected even when we forget that connection.

Answer: If a deceased person is coming to you in your dream and showing you what really happened to them the day they passed away you should pay careful attention, as it could very well be true.

First you need to determine if you are really having communication with a deceased loved one.

Next, does their version seem plausible? If so, you’re probably get correct information.

Lastly, you may need to act on the information you get. Especially if the person was murdered or if there were extenuating circumstances. Sometimes spirits reveal they committed suicide when it really seemed like an accident. And sometimes the reverse is true.

Spirits who are not at rest or who have unfinished business or who are seeking justice will often send dreams to their loved ones in an attempt to notify them of the truth. So definitely pay attention and take those dreams seriously.

I’ve had several personal experiences and professional experiences where new information came through that turned out to be correct once tracked down and investigated. So it’s definitely possible, and in many cases, likely.

Answer: On the other side there are no days, and we don’t have bodies, so definitely no eating, drinking, sleeping, or playing the harp.

Spirits on the other side do many things. They do “hang out” with other spirits they know. They commune with each other, share information, ideas, and philosophy.

Some spirits become spirit guides, so they actively work to help guide incarnated souls on their journeys.

Some spirits continue their “studies” on the other side, going to a sort of “school” as it would seem to us.

Spirits experience; anything and everything they want to. They travel the cosmos and meet other beings.

Some spirits help other spirits cross over. Some assist in the Akashic Records.

On the other side, we are energy, not matter, but we retain our consciousness. We look in on our loved ones, we plan our next life, and share our energy with others. It’s unlike our lives here in many ways, but it should be interesting for sure.

Answer: Most of the time a person does not choose to reincarnate so quickly. I often hear of people who say, “My grandmother died last week and then my niece was born and we’re pretty sure it’s grandma!” Uh no. Highly doubtful. Most souls do not reincarnate to the same family or that quickly either. So chances are excellent that anyone you knew in this life will be waiting and available for you when you cross over.

However, I believe that even if someone has reincarnated before you cross over, you can still reconnect with their higher self, who is always in the ether, anchoring their “player” who goes back to earth for another round of death and taxes.

You will see your loved ones again when you die.

Check out my ebook, The Other Side, for more information about what happens in the afterlife.

Answer: Having recently gone through the death of a very close friend, I can really sympathize and understand why having communication with a deceased loved one suddenly becomes a matter of great urgency.

I believe that most deceased people are trying to visit the loved ones they left behind. Sometimes they are literally standing right next to you and you can’t detect them. It’s frustrating for the dead to be so close and yet so far.

So I would say your mother is already visiting you, you’re just not detecting her. To improve your ability to detect a deceased presence, you can try one or all of these ideas.

1. Pay attention to dreams. Deceased people love to come through in dreams because your barriers are down and you’re more likely to let them in. If you can lucid dream, try connecting with them there.

2. Meditate. Meditation will help you raise your vibration which is like meeting them halfway. You’ll be more likely to detect the presence of a deceased person if your vibration is as high as possible. I’ve got a nifty meditation you can use to connect with a deceased loved on in my audio program Raising Your Vibration.

3. Channel. Sit quietly in their old bedroom, hold an object of theirs that is energetically charged. Clear your mind and focus on their energy. Daydream about them. After a few minutes you may feel their presence, or smell their favorite perfume, or hear them talking to you in your mind, or see them with your mind’s eye. Let it come. Don’t chase it.

4. Be patient. Sometimes your grief acts as a barrier for contact. So it may just be a little while until they can get through to you. Be patient but know they are there. Even famous mediums sometimes wait months or years to get contact. It took me 3-4 months before I heard from a deceased ex-boyfriend.

5. Talk to a medium. I recommend waiting at least 6 weeks before talking to a medium. But if you get a good one, it can be extremely comforting to hear from your deceased loved one so that you know they made it safely to the other side.

6. Ask others. Often it’s other people that end up getting communication from the other side even if they weren’t as energetically connected to them as you were. So ask your friends and family if they are getting communication. Even if you long for contact yourself, it should still be comforting to hear from others that your loved one is okay and still thinking about you.

P.S. Read my ebook, The Other Side, for tons of information about what happens when we die.