You state your opinion like it’s fact
An energy vampire can have very strong opinions.  They’re usually pretty proud of their opinions and treat them like facts.  Have you ever said something like this to someone, “Those shoes are so ugly. I can’t believe you’d even consider wearing them outside.  I can’t go out with you if you’re going to wear those.  Look, I’m just trying to protect you from embarrassment.”  How do you think the person to whom you were speaking felt about that statement?  Did you justify it by saying, “Hey it’s only my opinion but seriously, those shoes are fugly dude.”  You’re squashing someone’s energy when you state negative opinions as if they are facts. 

If you don’t like their shoes, or something else about them, keep it to yourself, gently suggest an alternative in a way that empowers them (“Hey I think you’d look smokin’ hot in those black pumps.”), or keep your opinion to yourself.  An opinion that does not empower someone is an energetic attack on that person.

You complain endlessly about your problems
When you manage to get someone on the phone to talk to you, or someone to dine with, what comes out of your mouth?  Do you share the good news and positive things going on in your life or do you drive right over to complaint city and pick up a six pack of grievances to share with your friend?  “Oh my god, my boss is a total schmuck. He asked me to stay late one day this week to finish something that I was supposed to have done earlier.  I mean, I’m a human being, I can’t do everything.  What does he expect?  And when I asked for a raise, do you know what he said?  He said I hadn’t earned it yet.  That’s ridiculous.  So what if I don’t stay late and finish my work, right?  They’re not paying me overtime so why should I do anything for them?”  And so on.  If your friend is nodding politely while desperately ordering a third martini, you might be an energy vampire. 

Think back over your interactions with others and see if you use others as a complaint department.  If so, try to see the bright side of your life and only share that which is empowering to you.  It can turn your life around and save your friend from a life of alcoholism.

You throw pity parties every day of the week
Also known as “poor me” syndrome is the pity party.  Ever hear something like this coming out of your mouth?  “I broke the heel on my shoe crossing the street.  No one even stopped to help me.  I would ask my boss for a raise but I’m sure he’d just tell me no.  I can’t get my dates to call me back, and I don’t understand it.  I mean, I’m reasonably attractive and I don’t smell, so how come guys never call me after a date?  There’s no way I’m going  to have enough money in my retirement fund to get through the end of my life.  I’ll probably have to just kill myself in 10 years so I don’t go broke.”  Cue the violins, get the tissues, and let’s all say it together, “How sad for you.  This is terrible.  I don’t know how you go on.” 

When you play the victim you’re asking other people to use their energy to uplift and hold you in a higher vibration.  How long do you think they can do that before they’re drained too?  How long do you think your friends will be willing to do that when you drain them so badly?  You can ask your friends for help, but you must accept their help.  If you don’t, you’re just out for a quick fix, and your life is still going to suck the next day.

You wield guilt like a weapon of mass destruction
A Jewish man calls his mother in Florida.  “Hi Mom, how are you?”  “Not too good,” says the mother.  “I’ve been very weak.”  The son says, “Why are you so weak?”  She replies, “Because I haven’t eaten in 38 days.”  “Mama,” the man says, “that’s terrible.  Why haven’t you eaten in 38 days?”  The mother answered, “Because I didn’t want my mouth to be filled with food if you should call.” 

And that my friends is how you wield guilt like a weapon of mass destruction.  If you seek to lower someone to the vibration of shame or guilt, on purpose, you are engaging in energy vampirism.  If you need someone to feel guilty so that you can feel good or justified then you are using emotional manipulation to take energy from others.  If you want to make a point there are other ways.  Example, “Son, I love hearing about all the great things going on in your life, and I’d love it if we could talk on the phone at least once a week so I don’t miss anything.  What do you say?”

You spread fear around like it’s going out of style
Like a good conspiracy theory?  Is the government out to get us?  Is the economy going to hell in a hand basket?  Do you start your conversations like this, “Did you hear about how the dollar is failing and we’re all going to be standing in bread lines soon?  What do you think?  Should we start stockpiling gold?”  Do you carry fear around with you like a bag of treats, ready to share with anyone and everyone willing to listen?  “Carrie, did you hear that the company is downsizing and laying people off right and left?  Do you think we’re going to get fired?  I don’t know about you but if that happens I’m really screwed.  I don’t know what I would do.  I’m totally freaking out about it.  Should I just quit and try to find another job now or…” 

Don’t spread fear like it’s fact. Don’t give your power to things outside your control.  And definitely don’t bring others down with your fear.  It forces your friend to try to calm you down, and that wastes vital energy.  If you need others to hold your hand, mollify you, reassure you constantly that everything’s going to be okay, you’re drawing upon their strength to do it.  Find your inner strength.  You can prepare for the worst while still planning for the best.  If something hasn’t even happened yet, why give it any of your energy?  React to things as they happen instead.  And don’t use your friends as shields.

You’re stubborn to the point of ridiculosity
I had this friend in college who was the most stubborn, opinionated person I knew.  One Friday I was at the student store and saw that the schedule for next semester had already come out even though it was supposed to come out the following Monday.  Excited, I called my friend when I got home.  Here is how our conversation went.

Me:  “Mark, the new schedule of classes is out.”
Mark: “That’s impossible.  It doesn’t come out until Monday.”
Me:  “No, yeah, I know that’s what they said, but I was just at the student store and it’s out.”
Mark:  “No, that’s impossible.  You probably have last semester’s schedule.”
Me: “Uh, no, this is definitely for the upcoming semester.”
Mark:  “It probably just looks that way and was a big printing error.  You don’t have the new schedule.  It comes out on Monday.”
Me:  “Look man, I’m holding next semester’s schedule in my hands right now.  I’m looking at it with my own eyes.  I’m picking classes right now with my own brain.”
Mark:  “No you’re not.  You can’t be.  The schedule doesn’t come out until Monday.  You’re wrong.”
Me:  “Uh, okay, whatever dude.  You go wait until Monday.  I’m going to start registering for classes.”
Mark:  “Fine, you do that, but you’re picking old classes from last semester.”
Me:  “Uh, yeah, sure.  Look, I’ll uh, talk to you next week.  How about that?”

Seriously, that was a real conversation I had with a friend, who by the way is someone I now speak to about once every two years.  It’s just too frustrating to talk to him.  He’s a total drain on my energy.  Do you insist you’re right even when you know you’re wrong?  Do you refuse to bend in any direction other than your own?  Are you closed to hearing the valid opinions of others because you don’t want them to have power over you or you can’t stand to be wrong?  When you do this, you block the flow of energy between you and your friends.  Instead of a creative exchange you put up roadblocks.  This will kill any chance of energetic flow and will be a real drain on your friendship.  Stop it.  Be comfortable being wrong sometimes.  Happens to the best of us.

You never get invited to parties, lunch, or other social occasions
Lastly, you might be an energy vampire if you never get invited to spend time with others.  Clue in.  If people don’t want to be around you, there’s a reason.  You drain them, and people can only take so much before they cut you loose. 

***

It’s okay to slip into these habits sometimes, but if they’re your constant way of doing business with your friends, relatives, and co-workers pretty soon you’re going to be all alone with no one to complain to.  Friends are a great resource.  Friends can lift you up when real tragedy strikes.  Friends can raise your self esteem and help you find creative solutions to your problems.  But if all you do is squash their energy or take their energy without giving any back, eventually they’re going to be so depleted they’ll have to dwell elsewhere.  Don’t be an energy vampire, be a battery instead.  Charge people up, ignite them to action, support them when the chips are down, encourage them to reach their potential.  If you are supportive, caring, and encouraging you’ll have friends.  Who wouldn’t want that around?

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

First let’s make a list of the people in your life so we can identify the fangsters.  Start with the people you interact with on a daily basis, then a weekly basis, then on occasion, and so forth.  Next to those names you’ll have three columns.  First column reads “uplifts me.”  Second column reads, “neutral.”  And the third column reads, “drains me.”  Then get busy putting check marks in the appropriate column for each person on your list.  If you’re having trouble figuring out which column they belong in, think about your last interaction with them and ask yourself if you felt better, the same or worse after that interaction. 

Once your list is done take a long hard look at it and see who you’re hanging out with.  Any vamps?  Yes?  Let’s see about neutralizing their power.  I know what you’re going to say… “But some of these vamps are my friends, my family, my BOSS!  How am I supposed to just get rid of them?”  You have three options on how to deal with an energy vampire, including how to handle it when escape seems impossible.

First, figure out if you could cut the person out of your life.  If it’s a friend, write him a letter letting him know you simply can’t be friends with him anymore as you no longer like the person you become when you’re with him.  It’s hard, yeah, but keeping these people in your life is going to drain you dry.  It’s not worth it.  Once you kick them out of your life, new more upbeat friends will fill the gap.  If it’s a boss, find another job with someone you’d prefer working with.  I know, this may take time.  So take the time.  It’s your life, your power, make a change!  If the vamp is a relative, begin curtailing your contact with them.  If the relationship is seriously abusive consider cutting them out of your life completely.  There’s no law that says you have to be friends with your family.

Second, if you can’t cut them out of your life you’ve got to learn to shield against their attacks.  Never go into an interaction with the vampire until your shields are up and your emotional armor is on.  How do you do this?  First, acknowledge what’s about to happen.  “I’m going to my mom’s house, she’s going to complain about how short my hair is.”  Or “My boss is going to denigrate me in front of my staff at today’s meeting.  He always does.”  Then, prepare your response ahead of time.  “If my mom complains about my hair, I won’t defend my choice.  I’ll just let her talk herself out or change the subject.”  “If my boss complains about my performance I’ll just make a joke and deflect the negative energy.”  This is also called, “Don’t let anyone get under my skin.”  Do not sink to their level.  Let their attack hit your shield and bounce off.  Do not let them make you emotionally bleed.

Third, try to uplift the vampire to a higher vibration.  Also known as “sprinkling some fairy dust on their heads so they stop being schmucks.”    This is difficult, but it can be done.  The next time an energy vampire attacks you, try responding with love, kindness, compassion or empathy.  They hate that; takes the wind right out of their sails. “Mom, you know I still love you even when you complain about my appearance, right?”  Or “Mom, it seems like when you complain about my hair you want me to feel bad about how I make decisions in life.  Is that your intent?  To make me feel bad?”  Sometimes holding up a mirror to the vamp is enough to conquer them.  If it’s your boss, you could take him aside and say, “It seems as if during our staff meetings you often say something denigrating about me in front of everyone.  I’ll tell ya, that doesn’t feel too good, and I was wondering if you were going to continue doing that or not?”  If your friend is bringing you down and you haven’t cut her loose, say, “Girlfriend, blaming others for the problems in your life isn’t going to solve them.  Why don’t you sit down with me one day and let’s have a long talk about how we might actually pull your life together and get you to a happier place.  I really care about you and I’d rather see you happy than complaining all the time.  What do you say?” 

Energy vampires only have power if you give them power.  If you can’t stand up to a vampire, if you can’t cut their energy out of your life, or if you can’t uplift them to a new place, you’re going to suffer greatly under the onslaught of their darkness.  You’ll find your own self esteem falling, you’ll stop feeling empowered in areas where you used to feel great, and eventually you’ll be a puddle of emotional jelly and everyone will step on you.  If you need help staving off the advances of an energy vampire, ask a high vibration friend to help you.  Set up an intervention on the vamp.  Be honest and clear about what they do to others, maybe they don’t realize it. 

Work on your list until at least 90% of the people on it are in the uplift or neutral column.  Don’t suffer the energy vampires.  You’re not obligated to be their punching bag.  You can’t rescue someone who is drowning by jumping into the water with them.  They’ll just pull you down too.  Throw them a life preserver, encourage them to grab it, offer to pull them to shore, but do not let them pull you down.

And whatever you do, don’t feed them after midnight.

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

You can download the program as an MP3 and stick it on your iPod, put it in iTunes, or burn it to a CD. Or you can purchase the CD itself which is shipped via U.S. Postal mail and will take 1-2 weeks to receive.

Reviews and responses so far from the people who bought advance copies at the Conscious Growth Workshop have been very positive. One person told me he started crying (for the first time in many years) while listening to one of the meditations. The first meditation is a love meditation, and the second is all about gratitude. If you’re a fan of guided meditation, you’re really going to love these two. Each is less than 10 minutes and designed to bring you to a high vibration quickly. They’re also designed so that you can do them repeatedly and get different results.

The mp3 version is $19.97. You’ll receive a link to download the zip file immediately (88mgs)

The CD version is $29.97 and comes in a slimline jewel case. Those will be ready for shipping the first week of February.

I invite you to purchase this program today!

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

You go to a cheap psychic, the kind that charge like $5 or $10.  You think, “What the heck?  It’s only a few bucks.”  You listen as the psychic tells you astoundingly accurate things about yourself.  But at the end of the reading, this con artist tells you that there is a dark energy around you, that you are cursed, or that something terrible is about to befall you, but for $200 they can remove this dark energy/curse and heal you.  Frightened, you pony up the money, the “psychic” performs a flashy ritual (chanting, candles, arm waving, etc.) and tells you that you’re cured.  Or she might tell you to check in with her in a week to see if the energy is clear.  If you actually do go back to her, at the next meeting you’ll be told the negative energy is much stronger than she thought and it’s going to cost $3,000 to clear it.  It’s at this point that I hope you have a moment of clarity and call the police on her, but sadly some people do fall for this scam.

The people who write to me say, “But she was so accurate.  She told me all kinds of things about my life that were true, so why wouldn’t I trust her that I was cursed?”  And that’s why this scam works.  Sometimes the con artist is actually a gifted psychic but is simply a darkworker, using her real abilities to scam people out of their money because it’s easier and faster than giving a real reading one time to a client she may never see again.  In other cases, the person isn’t using intuitive abilities at all but is instead using cold reading techniques to fish for information and make claims that are pretty much true for everyone.  You must be on guard for this.

I was telling someone on our discussion forums recently that in the more than 1500 professional readings I’ve done for people, I’ve encountered perhaps a dozen or less people who were actually being “haunted” by a negative energy or had a negative entity attachment.  In all cases, I taught those clients how to clear the situation on their own and had them check in with me in a week to make sure it was gone, all at no extra charge.  For those who couldn’t clear it on their own, I cleared it for them at no charge.  If someone is actually being haunted, it’s best if they use their own power to clear it, otherwise they’re giving their power away to the psychic or the thing haunting them.  I empower people to raise their vibration so negative energy sloughs off of them.

You may be thinking, “I would never fall for something like that.  I wouldn’t go to a cheap psychic.”  Watch out for the freebie too.  Sometimes these con artists will go up to people in a crowd like at a mall or grocery store, selecting people they believe to be gullible or low in personal power.  They’ll say something like “The spirits are telling me you’re having a rough time in life right now and I just wanted to tell you that things are going to get much better soon.”  The mark, sensing no scam in progress because no money has changed hands says, “Why  yes, I am feeling challenged.  Life is so hard.  It’s all out of control.”  The con artist reels you in with more generic information designed to get you to trust them (after all, they’re not getting paid) and at the end tells you that your big problem is this curse or dark entity attachment and that they feel sorry for you.  You say, “Oh my goodness, I didn’t know.  Is that something you can help me with?”  The con hedges a little and says, “Um, well, yes sure.  I mean I could clear that up for you in a few minutes, but I charge $200 for that service.”  You eagerly fork over the cash and you’re done, conned hook, line, and sinker.  You tell your friends what happened and they tell you that you got scammed.  You protest, saying, “No, he didn’t ask me for any money, he just gave me a free reading and I was the one who asked him to clear the curse for me.”  It’s too late.

A reputable psychic empowers her clients and conveys honest information during a reading.  An ethical psychic does not use fear to control her client into spending more and more money with them for false rituals, charms, and curse removal.  Be cautious and aware out there.  Reputable psychics will charge a fair price for their service based on skill and demand; not a super low price designed to get you on the hook for more expensive services.  Get referrals to a great psychic from people that you trust.  Read testimonials to help determine if a psychic is legitimate. 

As in any industry, there are real professionals with real skills out there using their abilities for nefarious purposes.  Be on guard so you don’t fall victim to this common psychic scam.  In the process, don’t assume all psychics are frauds, charlatans, and scam artists.  Find a psychic aligned with the light, who seeks to empower you to make good decisions that will benefit you and humanity.   

This has been a public service announcement from your friendly,  neighborhood psychic.

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

***

There were 33 of us in the first group.  We had been summoned.  It was with excitement and a measure of trepidation that I and my companions entered the Great Hall.  What did God want to tell us?  What task were we to be assigned?  What quest was there to engage?

We gathered in the Hall and waited.  I recognized all of my companions.  We shared knowing and reassuring smiles.  And then His presence filled the Hall.  Love and warmth magnified to infinity bathed us all.

“It is time to return,” God said.

There was a murmur in the group.  I sensed many were reticent to return.  I know I was.  I could also sense excitement and hope from others.  Someone spoke.

“Why now?”

God said, “Because they’ve forgotten Love.”

“How are we supposed to remind them?  Their hearts are closed.”

God replied, “What is closed may be open.  You know the way.”

“We are guiding from here, isn’t that a better place for us to help them remember?” someone responded.

“You must show them the frequency so they can hear it again,” God said. “They’ve forgotten Love.  They are listening to fear.”

I said, “When we incarnate we too forget Love.  It is too hard to bear.  This causes great anxiety and despair to be disconnected so.”

God said, “That is the way of the Lightworker.  You will remember in time, and then you will remind others of what they’ve forgotten.   I would not ask this of you if it was not of great importance.  Others will follow to help you, and still others are already there to remind you of what you already know.  You will be cared for.”

“Is there really a way for us to bring the people and the planet back to love?”

God said, “Yes.  Remind them of what they’ve forgotten.  Resonate at the frequency of unconditional love.  There is nothing more you need to say or do.  It will be enough.  Wake them to the frequency.  Show them the way back to Love.”

And then God said, “I have great faith in all of you.  You have my Love.  Please take it with you and show anyone who has forgotten.  There is too much fear in the world.  Be the light that cuts through the darkness and fear, and show them the way Home.  Remember, I am with you, always.”

God stepped out of the Great Hall.  I and my companions formed a circle and held hands.  We held tight to each other and someone said, “We will go forth with courage and compassion.”

Another said, “We will not forget our Way.”

“We will remind people of the Love they’ve forgotten.”

“We will overcome our own fear of disconnection.”

“We will support each other and work together.”

“We will carry only the frequency of love in our hearts.”

“We will love unconditionally.”

“We will remember when the time is right.”

“We will stand against fear wherever it is prevalent.”

“We will not judge those who have forgotten the light.”

“We will bring comfort to those who suffer.”

“We will have faith.”

We went around the entire circle this way.  I gazed into the eyes of my fellow lightworkers and vowed to remember as soon as I could so that I could help guide the planet back to Love.  I knew there would be challenges to my faith.  I knew there would be times I felt alone, and times I would feel so overwhelmed that I would cease to care what happened to others, but I resolved to get past those feelings and remember why I was there.   I would seek out the support of other Lightworkers who could empathize with my plight.  I took great solace in knowing that no matter what happened, I was loved, and would someday return Home.  I knew that my journey would be safe, even if it was uncomfortable.  And I vowed that my time there would make a measureable difference.

We headed out of the Great Hall to make our preparations.  There were Guides to recruit, parents to pick, plans to be made.  I carried in my heart all of God’s Love.  Yes, with this Love I could help them remember what they’d forgotten.  I was ready.

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

Polyamory
Last year was a strange year for me.  When Steve and I announced we were going to try polyamory there was a firestorm of response, which was expected, of course, but the degree was off the chart.  I can recall headlines on other blogs that said something about “Steve Pavlina Cheats on Wife” and the like.  I think what bothered me most were the lies being told about us.  I don’t mind when people write factual things about us, but when people tell bald-faced lies based on no research of the facts, and then their readers believe them and make judgments based on those lies, then I cry foul.  I learned last  year how celebrities in tabloids must feel and I developed great empathy for them.  I say to you now, don’t believe what you read unless it comes straight from the source or the source’s representative.  You don’t want to go through life believing lies.  I know I don’t.

The truth is that polyamory was awesome.  Not because either of us actually slept with someone outside our relationship (for the record, neither of us ever had sex with another person at any time during our 15+ years together), but because we opened ourselves up to greater emotional intimacy with others.  I was blissful during the first 9 months of 2009 as we explored polyamory.  We learned that compromise just makes both people unhappy.

Separation
So if I was so blissful for the first 9 months, what happened to cause a separation?  Steve and I realized we had developed incompatible lifestyle goals that were making it difficult for us to have a life together.  To generalize a little, Steve is always wanting to push the edge, to explore, experiment, grow, and change.  He gets bored with routine.  I, on the other hand, prefer routine and stability.  I like to build on what I already have, not tear down the monument and start building again.  While Steve loves to travel, I can take it or leave it.  Steve wants to see the world.  I’d like to see England, Ireland, and Scotland, but other than that I feel no strong desire to travel.  Wish I did, but I don’t.  Steve wants to immerse himself in different cultures, and I want to set down roots in a single community and get to know everyone for years.  I’d also like to keep my kids in one school instead of moving them around so much.  Kyle is only 6 years old and he’s lived in 5 homes.  I loved stability growing up and wanted to provide that for my kids too.

Steve and I are great friends and probably always will be.  To preserve our friendship, and to preserve our relationship, we had to end the marriage contract; the contract that says we stay together no matter what, no matter who we become or what our preferences are.  It became like shackles around our ankles, where neither one of us could grow in the direction we wanted.  So we decided to separate, amicably.  We basically freed each other of the shackles so we could each explore what we want without compromise.  And that has felt great to both of us.  We don’t hate each other, and we didn’t separate because we were fighting all the time.  On the contrary, there was so much love between us that we recognized we would each be happier outside the marriage.  The resentments are gone, the restrictions are gone, and now we can go back to connecting in the areas where we are compatible, and not feeling honor bound to connect in ways we don’t want to anymore.

Health Goal
At the beginning of 2009 I set a health and wellness goal.  I learned a lot this year, like never to announce a health and wellness goal in a public blog.   I was overloaded with contradictory advice that served only to confuse me.  I had moderate successes in my health goal.  I ended the year at roughly the same weight I started.  My overall health improved, however, as in 2008 I was a real mess of problems that are all fixed now.  I’ve had to start working out from home as now that I have the kids full time I can’t spend 2 hours every morning driving to and working out at the gym unless I want to cut 2 hours out of my work schedule for the day.  I’ve started doing my old Tae Kwon Do workout which is intense, and I’m lifting weights at home thanks to a weight set Steve got me for Christmas.  I will not be blogging about health and wellness this year.  Just watch the Facebook photo to see how things are changing.

Business Goals
My main focus this year is going to be to ramp up my business.  Right now I’ve got the blog and the intuitive readings.  The blog is free and the readings are up there in price.  I’d like to create something in the middle.  To that end, my plans include creating CDs, doing teleconferences, a workshop, and an audio program.  I will continue blogging, and I’m planning to do at least 4 YouTube videos each month (subscribe to my channel now). I will be on stage with Steve during the Conscious Growth Workshop coming up January 15-17, and I may be involved in future workshops he produces, depending on many factors.

Currently, I’m working on a CD that I intend to release this month.  If you signed up for my newsletter you received my free ebook, 10 Ways to Raise Your Vibration in Under 10 Minutes, which people seemed to really love.  Due to high demand, I’m recording an audio version of the ebook that will include two guided meditations that are under 10 minutes each that you can use to raise your vibration very quickly.  It will be available on CD and as an MP3 download.  If you want to know when the CD comes out and you’re not used to visiting my site daily looking for a new blog entry, be sure to sign up for the newsletter right away.

Personal Goals
My personal goals are related to courage, power and authority, the side of the TLP triangle that is weakest for me.  My new motto this year is “just do it.”  I have a tendency to shy away from things that require boldness and courage, so this year I’m going full steam ahead.  If it’s fun, I’m doing it.  If it’s exciting, I’m doing it.  If it’s crazy, I’m filming it!   Going to the gun range with a friend was an example of something I’ve always wanted to try but never did.  We’ll be going back soon to try an automatic rifle. I know, it’s crazy right?  Which is why I’ll be filming it!  I’m also joining the local Improv Troupe, which is something Steve did years ago that he says really helped him with his public speaking, so now it’s my turn.  I’m going to plug into my power and do all the things I want to do but have been too nervous or afraid to try.

Since our separation I’ve been spending more time socializing with friends.  That’s been really awesome!  I started a game night with friends that we host at Steve’s house.  So far we’ve done this twice.  We played poker the first time and Cranium and Charades the second time.  Our friends are all professional speakers, and some are comedians, and that makes for some really funny stuff at game night!  In a few weeks I’m going to play basketball with another toastmaster friend who found out I used to be a really kick ass basketball player.  I don’t know if I’ve “still got it” but it will be fun seeing if I do.  I also might get back into role-playing games (the pen and paper and dice kind).  I’m particularly fond of the Heroes Unlimited system, so if you’re in Vegas and you’re keen on role-playing let me know.

Summary
I think the year ahead is going to be fascinating and joyous.  I’ll be spending less time on correspondence and email (that just never ends and I can’t possibly help everyone who emails me) and more time on product creation and spreading my message to more people.  Thank you to everyone who has been so incredibly supportive to me this year.  I may not be able to respond to everyone, but as of now, I’m still able to read all the correspondence, so know that your messages to me have been wonderfully touching.  Love to you all!

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

My higher self came to me in a dream last night.  She handed me a box filled with puzzle pieces and told me to put all the pieces together.  So I got busy working on that.  The pieces were in the shape of North American states and territories so I was able to know roughly how to put them together.  As I got close to finishing I said to her, “Oh I get it.  I see what’s happening here.”  She said, “No you’re not done.  Put all the pieces in place.  All you’re seeing is the small pictures on each piece and you’re assuming much.” 

So I kept going until every single piece was in place and then stepped back to see the big picture and was amazed by what I saw.  I understood it all so clearly.  The pieces lost their borders and all I saw was one big picture.  She said, “The details are important.  Every piece carries its own impact on the whole of the puzzle.  Every piece must be in the right place in order for you to see the big picture.”  I said, “This is awesome.  I can’t believe what I’m seeing here.  I’ve got to share this with everyone.”  She said, “No, this was only for you.  It’s part of your job to get all the pieces where they belong so that the big picture is revealed to everyone.”  I was feeling a little disappointed as it all seemed so easy. I just wanted to show everyone the big picture.  I knew they would all understand if they could just see what I was seeing.  She said, “Everyone needs to be a part of this puzzle.  Every piece must understand how integral it is to the Whole.  Everyone on Earth needs to understand how they fit into the big picture.” 

Reluctantly, I took apart the puzzle and put all the pieces back in the box.  I heard something jingling at the bottom of the box and pulled out a key ring with four keys on it.  She said, “Those are your tools.  You are to awaken people to their unique contribution to the puzzle.  You must help people understand how important they are to the Whole, that no piece is any greater than another, that everyone has a reason for being here.” 

So then I started asking questions about people I personally knew and asking what purpose they served in the Whole.  She gave me some specific answers.  I asked her how I was to go about doing all of this.  She said, “Keep doing what you’re doing.  Appreciate what you can do and your own unique contribution to the Whole.  The piece of the puzzle that is You is complete and whole; you need only share it with the world.”  She showed me images of myself doing a workshop.  It felt like I was teaching.

She said, “People cannot see the big picture when they try to be something they are not, when what they share with others is not their true self, when fear and fear of judgment cause people to alter their frequency and project something other than what they truly are.  This does not serve to show people the Whole.  It fragments the puzzle when a piece wears a mask hiding its true identity.  When this happens, the picture is fuzzy, muddled, and inaccurate and people react to the Whole with an inaccurate understanding of its true nature.  Remind people of their unique contribution to the Whole, help them find the courage to be who they truly are, and reconnect them with Love.”

The last thing she said to me was, “When you realize that all that is required of you is to be yourself, you will find your life flows easily and steadily.  You will merge with the Whole, and your place in the big picture will be revealed.  Do not try to be another piece. You are who you are for a very specific reason. Embrace it, use your talent and skill, and show people the unique contribution you make to the Whole.”

When I woke from this dream I immediately came to my computer to write it down so I wouldn’t forget it.  It was a powerful dream for me.  I felt humbled, charged, and hopeful for humanity.  Let’s get busy putting this puzzle together, people!  Show the world your piece!

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

What is one book or other source you would highly recommend for a complete beginner interested in becoming an intuitive counselor?

You’ll want to develop a very clear connection with your guides, specifically your conduit guide.  And you’ll want to be proficient in counseling.  So I would study the “How To” information of other intuitive counselors such as myself, Colette Baron-Reid, and Sonia Choquette.  Read their books or their blogs, attend their seminars, teleconferences, and workshops.  Or arrange a consult to get detailed answers to the questions that pertain to you in your individual situation.

What do colors in dreams represent?  Aura or chakra colors?  I have had two dreams in a row where the same shade of the colors green and orange have featured prominently in wedding scenes but in different contexts.

Green is the heart chakra color related to compassion, empathy, love, and connection with others.  Orange is the sacral chakra color related to relationships and emotions.  It’s no wonder you saw them at a wedding.  I’d have to know how you felt in the dream to help you better understand why these colors are coming up for you.

In times of personal woe, a lot of people have trouble connecting spiritually. How would you suggest they find comfort if they feel cut off in that way?

In times of woe is definitely when you most need your spiritual connections.  Read my free ebook: 10 Ways To Raise Your Vibration in Under 10 Minutes, which you can get instantly when you sign up for my newsletter.  Everything in there will help you reconnect with yourself and your spiritual posse on the other side very quickly.  Nothing helps me reconnect faster than sitting down to a nice virtual cup of hot chocolate and a hug from my higher self, who is a constant reminder that this too shall pass, that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, and that you can always choose love.  For long term reconnection, I highly recommend meditation and the practice of feeling blessed by keeping a gratitude log.

Do you have any thoughts about whether the use of antidepressants inhibits a person’s intuitive abilities and/or psychic development?

I’ve never been on antidepressants nor have I known someone who has tried to utilize their intuitive abilities while on antidepressants, so I could only hazard a guess.  Anything that impairs your vibration or ability to connect with your guides is going to impair or inhibit your intuitive abilities and your psychic development, whether that’s alcohol, drugs, shame, fear, anger, anxiety, guilt, etc.  To effectively utilize your psychic faculties you’ll want to be as clear as you can.

What are the top two or three inspiring books you read in 2009?

Most of the books I read in 2009 were related to health and relationships, but I wouldn’t say any of them were particularly inspiring; rather I would say they were informative.  One of my goals in 2010 is to catch up and brush up on the spiritual books out there.  First up is Conversations with God, which I’ve never read, but now feel called to read.  I’m just going to pop by the Hay House website and see what they’ve got on tap.

How do you deal with a deceased person who keeps coming into your dreams and insists she is not dead?

Whoa.  Talk about violation of personal space!  If it were me, I would show them the door, which in this case is the light.  Help them crossover by gently suggesting they are in fact dead, and I would ask the angels to guide them to the other side.  I encountered a fellow many years ago who didn’t know he was dead.  It took me 5 tries to convince him he was dead.  If they won’t go, find out if there is unfinished business they’d like you to help them tie up.  That might be enough to get them to cross over peacefully. 

And what’s your take on crystal healing?

I don’t have a lot of experience with crystal healing.  I recall when I was a teenager trying to use crystals to heal myself when I was ill or in pain.  It never seemed to work, so either it doesn’t work or I was doing it wrong.  My jury is still out on crystals.  I haven’t worked with them enough to tout their benefits just yet.

In order to heal deep emotional wounds do we need people or life situations to open up (trigger) those wounds in order for us to heal them?

No I don’t believe so.  You are capable of deciding how you want to feel about the past, the present, and the future.  It isn’t always easy to hold a loving energy towards a situation, event or person, but it’s always possible.  I find that asking the pain why it’s there is important, and learning the lesson is important too.  Pain and difficulty come when we resist what is, when our expectations are violated, when we feel victimized.  I have found that accepting responsibility for my thoughts, feelings, and actions is very helpful in healing old wounds, as is asking myself how I’d like to feel about the situation.

Does hanging around people with a lower vibration lower my vibrational frequency? And do I have the capacity to become immune?

If you are in a high vibrational state like love, peace, or gratitude and you hang around with someone in a lower vibrational state like anger, for example, then either your vibration will drop or theirs will be raised, or you can both maintain your vibrations if that is your desire.  It is not automatic that yours will lower or theirs will raise.  Guarding against those whose energy lowers ours, though, is something I highly recommend.  Learn how to maintain your higher vibrational state when you are around those who might pull you down.  Be an example for them.  I think we all have the capacity to choose the frequency at which we want to vibrate, but I haven’t personally met anyone yet who doesn’t occasionally drop into a lower vibration.

What is the most empowering lesson that you’ve learned so far from your recent separation? (I hope it’s not too personal or too soon to ask) I just think more people need to see that you can find personal power in “negative” situations. I believe you have a good perspective on life and can get that message across.

Great question.  Most empowering lesson is that I’m learning to rely on myself.  Expressing my own power and authority.  It feels great.  A little scary, but ultimately awesome!  I kill my own spiders, open my own jars, set up my own electronics, I’m a rockstar!    My relationship with Steve is like energy, it was not destroyed in our separation, it merely changed form.  And I’m enjoying getting reacquainted with parts of me that were buried in the relationship.  I’m remembering the power of my own message and am looking forward to sharing it more often and more deeply with my readers.

I have been working on my ability to tune into various energies, such as my guides, angels, and environment. However I am not exactly sure specifically how to tune myself in, outside of guided meditations and visualization. Besides simply concentrating and focusing on that which I want to tune into, can you describe in detail the general “tuning in” process? Sometimes it feels as if I cannot locate my station changing knob.

Tuning in is usually the easy part.  The hard part is trusting that you are tuned in to the being you’re trying to communicate with, being able to interpret and understand what you’re receiving, and having the confidence to act upon it.  Unfortunately it’s beyond the scope of this article to go into the kind of detail we’d need to go into, but I would say to continue to have long conversations with your guides (the longer you go the more tuned in you will be), write down what they’re telling you or showing you, act on it, and see what results you get.  You can also ask your guides to help you tune in better, then get out of your own way (and your own logic) and let them show you how to hear them best.

How can you distinguish the voices of your higher self/spirit guides from those of your ego or mind chatter?

Read this article I wrote on this subject: How To Tell the Difference Between Your Ego, Logic, Spirit Guides and Intuition.

How can you learn to control your visions/premonitions/clarsentience, such as recurring ones happening only when touching a certain person/animal, that will fade when you ask questions instead of giving answers?

If you’re getting repeated visions or premonitions there’s obviously a strong warning in that.  If something you’re seeing is going to come to pass you can either try to prevent it or you can get ready to deal with it.  If you no longer want to receive the premonitions you’ll have to shut down your psychic radio and stop tuning in.  That’s sometimes easier said than done, but maintaining control of when you get information and when you don’t is important.  I had to learn how to stop receiving communication from my guides and deceased people when I wasn’t officially working.  Now my guides can reach me in case of emergency or urgency or when I’m working.  It takes a strong spirit to get my attention when I’m not working.  It does happen but it’s rare now.  Work with your guides.  Tell them what you want and need.  Sometimes I get a metaphor for someone that I just don’t understand and I ask the guides to give it to me again a different way.  This is a two way street.  Let them know what you want and what you can handle and ask them to ease off if you don’t like the kind of communication you’re getting.

Do you have a perspective on ‘protection’ – i.e. managing your field and energy both during sessions and when at parties or out and about like new year’s eve?

Great question.  I was recently at a casino in the evening (rare for me) as I was going to a club to hear a comedian.  I immediately realized I was way too open to be there comfortably.  So many people walking around in a state of arousal, excitement, debauchery, alcohol … many of who had nefarious intentions.  Just a lot of low vibration people (not to say everyone there was that way!  Heaven’s no, but definitely a bunch of energies I don’t normally enjoy being around).  So I had to close my “door” so to speak so I wouldn’t be affected by their energy.  First, I closed up my chakras to be tighter in my body.  So the size of an orange instead of the usual size of a basketball I’m used to.  Then I had to close off my energy by erecting an energy shield around me.  You know the kind I’m talking about, the one that says, “leave me alone” or “I’m not the droid you’re looking for. Move along.”  With practice you can do this too.

When I’m working, it’s the opposite.  I open my chakras very wide and connect them with the infinite divine.  I only do this under the protection of my work environment – my White Room – and in the presence of my conduit guide, Bob.  Managing energy is very important in life.  If you’re too open in a room full of lower vibrational people, you can easily pick up on their energy and take it home with you, much like when I’m in a casino and come home wreaking of smoke even though I never touched a cigarette.

If someone is interested in becoming a psychic medium/intuitive counselor, what should they do on a daily/regular basis to achieve that goal? (besides meditate)

Connect with your conduit guide.  Practice giving readings to friends and family.  Get feedback on your methods.  Then practice on total strangers.  Keep refining your process until you’re very confident in your ability to tune in for anyone.  Let your guides teach you as well.  Raise your vibration and keep it high when you are working.  Don’t be afraid of making mistakes; they will happen.  Don’t be afraid of failure.  Just keep working at it until you are comfortable with the results.

Do you have any new year’s resolutions? 

No.  Not sure I like the whole New Year’s Resolution thing, but I do like writing out my goals for the year, so I’ve already done some work on that.  This year will be all about creating products, teleconferences, more videos, and maybe a workshop or two.

When you give a reading, has anyone ever had and shared a psychic hit on you?  What is the etiquette for that sort of happening?

Do you mean that while I’m giving a reading someone gets information for me?  Yes that has happened a few times.  I do read for a lot of other psychics and mediums, some of them in training and some of them relatively famous.  I also read for clients who are just really intuitive.  And on occasion someone will tell me, usually at the end of the reading, some information they’re getting about me.  I don’t mind receiving it, so I’m happy when that happens.  I’ve also had very intuitive friends and colleagues send me impromptu information they’re getting about me.  I like that too.

The other morning, not quite awake, I heard a woman’s voice call my name very distinct accent, I’m sure it was my spirit guide. How do I hear more, like answers to questions?

The time between sleeping and becoming awake is often a time when we pick up on snatches of conversation at another frequency.  It could have been a spirit guide, or it could have been an auditory hallucination, or a hypnogogic hallucination.  It’s a hard time to get answers to questions.  I would work on lucid dreaming if you want to use your sleep time to communicate with your guides.

Could you ask your guides about free will? Say if you wanted to pray for the protection of someone or if you wanted to perform distance healing, would the angels/guides be limited in helping those people because the request doesn’t come from them directly?

Curses and prayers get through with equal effectiveness.  They either bounce off someone’s aura or they impact.  Whether it happens or not depends on the vibration and intention of the person receiving the curse or prayer or healing for that matter.  You can accept or reject either “gift.” 

If you have a reading that states a possibility for your future, but then a decision you make changes the ending, will the universe bring you back on track somehow?

Depends on whether you want it to or not and if you’re a vibrational match for the path you desire.  Like you’ve correctly presupposed, you can change your future, it is not set in stone.  If, during a reading, a psychic tells you something is likely to happen, you can take steps to alter that outcome.  Just change course.  If, however, you change course but you’re still a vibrational match for that thing happening, you could easily slip back into your old trajectory.  At all times and in all ways you are responsible for the outcome of your decisions.  So always think carefully as you move along the path. 

Do you believe in Jesus?

Depends on your definition.  I believe there is a highly conscious being (one of many actually) who incarnated on Earth to help remind us of who we really are.  I’m not sure when he lived or how many times he’s been back since.  I’ve encountered an energy on the other side that felt like the Christ energy to me, and it was quite humbling.  When I think of Jesus, I think of the highly ascended consciousness.  We are all One, so if you believe in Jesus I hope you look in the mirror and see him staring back at you.  You have access to all of his wisdom and power.

Can psychic powers be gained with yoga and your views on Yogic siddhis?

Psychic powers could be accessed while you’re doing yoga, sure.  Anything that puts you in a higher vibration or balances your mind, body or spirit will help you in the development of your psychic faculties.  I don’t know what a Yogic Siddhi is, so I’ll defer to those who know more on that subject.

***

If you want to discuss any of these answers, there’s a forum thread for this blog entry.  Head on over and let’s hear what you’ve got to say!

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

Answer:  Not usually, no.  In my many experiences of being outside my body I was unable to move objects in the physical world either through touch or telekinesis.  Nor would I necessarily expect to be able to affect physical reality while on the astral plane.  Let’s look at it logically.

Your physical body vibrates at a certain density, a lower density than your energetic or astral body.  So your physical body is fully capable of grasping a cup, opening a door, and walking around for example, because those objects are on the same plane as your physical body.  Your astral body is energy without physical form and is roaming around on a different plane.  Just as in your physical body you cannot “touch” anything on the astral plane, so too on the astral plane you cannot “touch” anything on the physical plane.

One of the reasons you can so easily float through a wall or window while in an astral state is precisely because the wall exists on the material, physical plane, where you are no longer vibrating.  You may see the wall in your astral state, but it is not on the same plane as you anymore so you easily pass through it like it isn’t there.  One thing that can affect how well and how easily you move through the wall, though, is your expectation of being able to do so.  Many people, when they first go astral, assume they must maneuver around physical objects; but soon you learn that you can easily fly, float or fling yourself through them quite easily.

One thing you can do to the physical world while in an astral state is be sensed by people who are awake.  I’ve had experiences where I was astral, floated on over to a friend’s house while they were awake, tried to get them to see me or notice me, and have them tell me the next day they “felt my presence” at the same time I was there.  This is difficult however.  Most people who are awake are not at all attuned to the astral plane.  That would be like tuning in to a cable channel you don’t normally get just to see if something other than static is coming through at that moment.

I do believe, though I’ve never personally experienced it, that it’s possible with great effort to do something to the physical world while in an astral state.  If you’ve seen the movie, Ghost, with Patrick Swayze, he eventually learns how to move a physical object (the penny) but it takes great effort.  You have to force the energy of your astral body to vibrate at a lower density to bring it into phase with the physical object you’re trying to move.  That’s tough.  So while I believe in theory it could work, I think you’d have to really practice and spend a lot of time trying in order to get it done.

Meeting up with another astral person is possible while in an astral state, because you’ll come into phase with them.  Both of you would have to be astral at the same time and know where to meet and when.

If you are an accomplished astral projector and you have managed to affect the physical world while astral, please report your story in our forums, as I’m very interested to hear your account.

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

I’ll be there helping to facilitate the workshop, and I’ll be up on stage during several segments.  Steve and I like hanging out with our attendees so chances are good you’ll meet us both face to face at this workshop and have some time to chat with us.  At the last workshop we even tagged along with a group going to lunch.  I’d love to meet you in person!

Special Pricing On Readings for Workshop Attendees:
I’m offering a special discounted in-person reading rate attendees at the Conscious Growth Workshop. Take advantage of this special and rare offer! 

30 minutes for $297 (regular price is $597)
60 minutes for $447 (regular price is $897)

To book one of these sessions, contact me directly to check for availability.  Let me know what your travel schedule is and what hotel you’ll be staying at.

Registration Info:
$497 until December 15, 2009
$597 after December 15, 2009

For more information and to help you decide if this workshop will benefit you:
Learn more about the workshop
Workshop FAQ
Register Now

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

Think of intuition as a guide, someone who is familiar with the path ahead and can warn you of upcoming pitfalls.  Like a scout, your intuition goes on ahead and reports back to you with information you can use to make informed decisions.  Tuning in to your intuition can even save your life.  Wouldn’t you like to be on a first name basis with such a creature?

So how do you recognize intuition?  Intuition is an energetic wave that contains information that you must receive.  The way you tune in and receive intuition depends on your personal dominant psychic modality: clairvoyance, clairaudience, clairsentience, or claircognizance (or any combination if you are skilled in multiple modalities).   Here are some phrases and their associated modalities that will help you determine which is YOUR dominant modality.  Have you ever heard yourself say any of the following phrases?

I Saw This Coming a Mile Away
People with clairvoyance (clear seeing) will often receive intuition as a visual download.  Let’s say your friend says, “Dude, I’m gonna jump my motorcycle over those 5 trash cans.  Watch.”  You get an instant flash in your mind’s eye showing your friend crashing into the 4th can and going down in a heap of grinding metal.   You say, “Don’t do it, man.  You’re not gonna make it.”  He jumps, he crashes, and you say, “Dude, I saw that coming a mile away.”  With clairvoyance, your intuition will often play out like a scene in your mind, sometimes over and over again as it tries to get your attention.   If clairvoyance is your dominant psychic modality, tune in visually when you’re about to do something major and see if you’re getting a scene that shows the outcome.

That Little Voice Said…
People who are predominantly clairaudient (clear hearing) will receive intuition as a voice in their head.  An example of clairaudient intuition in action would be, “Anna, that guy you met at the party the other night is in the news.  Turns out he’s a serial rapist!  You almost went home with him.  What stopped you?”  And your friend says, “I don’t know.  There was just this little voice in the back of my mind that said ‘Danger’ so I just walked away from him.  I’m so glad I listened!”  With clairaudience, intuition will sound like a voice in your mind, the same voice you use when you talk to yourself in your head, only the voice will give you information you probably couldn’t glean from logic alone.  If clairaudience is your dominant psychic modality, tune in to that voice when you’re about to make a major decision and see if it has anything to say.

I Just Got This Sinking Feeling
People who are predominantly clairsentient (clear feeling) will receive intuition as a gut feeling, literally in your stomach area.  Has your significant other ever said these words to you, “Honey, we need to talk” and you get a sinking feeling in your gut?  You can literally feel something falling inside you and landing with a thud in your root chakra.  Your security is threatened.  Your emotions are about to be stepped on.  Your stomach is in knots.  Fear wells up inside you.  You are receiving an intuitive flash clairsentiently.  You don’t even know what the other person is going to say, but you know it’s going to hurt or be quite challenging to deal with.  If clairsentience is your dominant psychic modality then let your gut guide you.  If you’re about to do something and you get that sinking feeling in your gut, your intuition is trying to warn you.  You might say, “I’ve got a bad feeling about this…” and that’s clairsentience too.  Your body chemistry will feel altered.  Pay attention when you feel that and think carefully before making your next move.

I Knew It
People who are predominantly claircognizant (clear knowing) will receive intuition as an instant download of information that needs no processing or interpretation.  You’ll hear them say, “Oh man I knew when you told me you were buying that stock that it was a bad idea.”  “How did you know?”  “I don’t know, I just knew it.”  It comes with great certainty but not a lot of logic.  In fact, claircognizant intuition often flies in the face of logic, and can be one of the hardest types of intuition to act on.  Can you remember a time when you did something and you instantly knew it was a mistake even before the actual results were in?  Maybe you heard yourself say, “Shoot, I think I just made a terrible mistake.  Why didn’t I listen to my intuition?” and then later you find out you definitely made a big mistake.

***

Once you become aware of your dominant modality, use it consciously to access your intuition.  If you’re about to take a step on your path that you’re uncertain about, tune in and see if you’re getting an intuitive hit on it.  If you’re clairvoyant, allow a scene to unfold in your mind’s eye showing you the outcome of your decision.  If you’re clairaudient, listen to that little voice in the back of your mind.  What is it saying?  If you’re clairsentient, check in with your gut.  Do you have a sinking feeling or do you feel strong and stable?  If you’re claircognizant ask yourself what’s going to happen and without thinking about it too much just let the answer come, yes or no, good or bad, etc. 

Learning to be aware of when you’re receiving an intuitive flash is something that needs to be worked on consciously in order for you to get better at it.  To make your intuition stronger, just keep acting on it and taking note of the outcome.  Was your intuition right or wrong?  Did you misinterpret it or get it right?  The more you work with it, the stronger it becomes, and the more you can rely on it to help you in life.

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

During my sessions with clients, I am often able to tune in to their passions.  There’s this big aha moment when I dig up something they long thought buried, and then outline the steps they can take to leave their old passionless job and step into a career that excites them.  Recently I did a reading for a woman who was at the top of her game career-wise, making a mid-six-figure income, success all around her.  But she wasn’t fulfilled, so she was about to quit her job and go into consulting in the same industry she’d been working for for years in an attempt to at least have some freedom.  She wanted advice on her new chosen career path.  But her guides wouldn’t go there with her because she was not on the path with passion.  Instead her guides showed me a scenario where she started a foundation to help impoverished women and children in third world countries, which was not even close to what she was doing today.  I reminded her that before she went to college this is what she wanted to do.  She agreed that was accurate; that that had been her dream long ago but she didn’t think she could accomplish it so she went the corporate/law route, and rose through the ranks in a very large, well known company.  Her hope was that she could convince this company to be more charitable, but it never happened as she got lost in the corporate shuffle of earning profits or else.  When I tapped her back in to her compassion and outlined the steps she would take to make this foundation a reality she was really quiet for a moment and then got really emotional and said, “I would love to do that more than anything on the planet.  Thank you for reminding me who I really am.  It makes so much sense now.”  On the bright side, her power, contacts, and connections in the corporate world are now going to assist her with manifesting her dream.

So what are you passionate about?  Do you remember?  If you’re not sure, here are some steps you can take to tap into the passion you buried long ago or are putting to the side until “later.”  Get some paper or open a Word document.  You’ll want to keep this handy for “later.”

What makes you giddy with excitement?
Think about all the things in your life you love to do.  Whether it’s skiing, reading, hiking, socializing, going to parties, making videos to upload to YouTube, playing poker, or just meditating quietly for hours.  Just make a list of all the things you would feel eager to do if someone told you to take the day off from work and just do what you wanted to do.  “Hey so-and-so, why don’t we blow off work today and go ________?”  Fill that blank in with a list of things you’d rather do than work.

It doesn’t matter if it seems wasteful on the surface.  One of my friends goes nuts over video and computer games.  He’s a gamer, pure and simple.  There’s nothing he’d rather do.  He went to college to learn computer science because it seemed like a likely choice for himself career-wise, but he really wasn’t into it.  Now he works as a game tester and gets to play games all day.  He rose through the ranks quickly and is well-liked because he is excellent at providing constructive feedback that will make the games better.  If he keeps at it, he could potentially create his own game one day or be on the design team.

Another friend of mine loves movies and television.  He spends a lot of time watching both and getting excited about upcoming new shows and movies.  He’d be excellent at creating a new television series, which is something he is now looking into.  But before I suggested it he thought it impossible.  His day job is at an accounting firm where he daydreams and imagines new characters, stories and shows in his head.  The talent and passion are there, he just has to take action on them.

Once you’ve got your list of the things that excite you, really consider how you might segue into a career that allows you to do that all the time!  Think hard and be creative.  You don’t have to quit your job today, just start thinking about ways that other people are earning money doing what you love, and see if you can find your way into that same arena.

What breaks your heart?
When you look around the world today do you see people suffering?  Do you see things that are wrong with the world that you’d love to see fixed?  What breaks your heart?  Starving children?  Abused children?  World politics?  The homeless?  War and conflict?  What breaks your heart is often a clue to passion.  If you were ignited and believed yourself capable of making a difference in the world, where would you turn your attention?  What problem would you tackle?  No one is saying you have to end world hunger overnight.  Just tap into your heart break and see what’s there.

Make a list right now of all the things that really break your heart.  I’m talking about the things that really tug at your heart strings or ignite you with passion and zeal.  Once you’ve got your list, see if you can figure out a way to take action on your heart break.  This doesn’t have to be something you do for a living, but maybe it’s something you start doing on the side, which will eventually lead to expertise, progress, and job offers.  There are people out there who earn a living tackling world problems, such as politicians, movie producers, and bloggers.

What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?
What I hear most often from those who know their passion but aren’t taking action on it is, “But I don’t know how.”  No one knows how when they’re first starting out.  Not knowing how to do something is not a good enough reason not to do it.  You learn how.  You either find someone who is successful doing it and learn how they did it, or you go through your own trial and error until you figure it out. 

On your sheet of paper, write down the phrase, “If I knew I couldn’t fail I would …”  and then make a list of what you would do.  Think big, really big.  The sky’s the limit.  Here is my own list:  If I knew I couldn’t fail I would want to help people remember that we are all connected, that we are all One, and that hurting others only hurts ourselves.  I would teach people about compassion and kindness towards their fellow man.  I would empower others to awaken and take action in the area of their passion.  I would teach acceptance and love.

Now think about it, there are so many ways to accomplish the items on my list.  I could be a motivational speaker, a diplomat, a politician, a counselor, a writer, a coach, a screenwriter, etc.  As long as I stay tapped into my message, the medium is my choice.  What could you do with your list?  Make a list of all the careers or jobs you could have where you could make progress on your “If I knew I couldn’t fail” goal.  See what emerges. 

What makes you feel like you’ve contributed?
Another way to determine your passion is to ask yourself to finish this phrase, “At the end of the day, I feel best when I’ve _________” and fill in the blank.  Do you feel best when you’ve solved a problem, helped someone who was suffering, had an impact, made a change in your life, challenged yourself, organized an area, gotten all the kids to after-school activities on time, made a nice dinner for your spouse, taken time out for yourself, meditated, communed with nature, etc?  What gives you that nice sigh of contentment and the feeling of a job well done?  Could you earn money doing that for a living?  You bet you could.  Even if you feel most content sitting in a hot bubble bath or getting a massage, why not open a spa and sell that contentment to others?  What if you’re a stay-at-home-parent who is super organized and you feel great at the end of the day if everything is in its proper place and all the children are well fed and clean?  Write a book to help others who aren’t as good at it as you, or start a blog, or do workshops on it.  Don’t discount contentment and contribution.  If you love it, chances are other people would love it too.  Help them find it if they don’t have it and you’ve got a new career.

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Your passion is in you somewhere.  Remember it or find it.  Then turn your passion into action. Find the road that leads to success with your passion.  You can do it!  When you combine passion with skill and contribution, success is not far behind.  Don’t spend another day doing something you hate. Find and ignite your passion today!

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

I’m a heart-centered person who’s very compassionate, kind, gentle, and caring. That’s my dominant energy. As a result, in my life I usually take a back seat to others with more power, confidence, courage, and authority. Never bothered me; I was happy to let others take command … and the responsibility that usually went with it. I was the ship’s counselor, not the captain. But over the years I realized that walking around just caring about others wasn’t enough. Caring about an impoverished person doesn’t feed them. Caring about child abuse doesn’t save a single child. It’s only by taking action, by exerting our power and courage, that we can effect change. Likewise, if you’re someone who is strong in the areas of power, courage, and authority but you’re not heart-centered and caring, you could end up being a guy like Donald Trump or Dick Cheney; people willing to walk all over someone to get what they want.

Years ago I played an online role playing game called City of Heroes. My character was the group’s healer. I stood in the back and cast heals on people and would occasionally throw a punch, but I was pretty squishy so never ventured too far into the fray lest I be crushed by a single attack. This character I created was a pretty accurate representation of who I was as a person. Willing to let others fight and potentially be injured, but there to provide comfort, healing, and support. I was pretty comfortable in my role. One day, though, just for the heck of it, I created a scrapper character, a hand-to-hand combat fighter that couldn’t do anything from a distance. I had to run in and bear the brunt of the first wave of attack, and I was the one doling out the punishment. I felt really uncomfortable playing this violent character… at first. And then I started to feel more powerful and tough, and I started to really enjoy getting in there, getting my hands dirty, protecting the squishy healers in the back from being pummeled to death. As it turns out, there was a little fighter in me all along.

After I stopped playing City of Heroes I asked myself if in life I was a healer or a scrapper. I wanted to say healer, but after spending so much virtual time as a scrapper I realized it had brought something else out in me besides the caring, supportive, after-the-fact helper. I liked the feeling of power and responsibility that came with taking command of a group. And I also discovered I was pretty good at taking command. I wondered if in my real life I could channel the same energy as courageously as I did in a game where I couldn’t really be physically hurt.

I made a conscious decision to start working on my command and leadership skills. If you’re a fan of Star Trek: The Next Generation, I was Deanna Troi taking the Bridge Officer’s exam so I could command the ship in case of emergency. So over the years I started volunteering to lead. In my toastmaster club, Voice Links, I volunteered to be President, even though I didn’t yet feel qualified. I studied and learned what I needed to be a successful club president, and I was told by people who’d been in the club for many years that I did a fantastic job. But Voice Links is a pretty small club and its members are very easy-going and therefore easy to lead. It was the equivalent of leading a transport ship. I wanted to test myself further.

Last July I became the President of Powerhouse Pros, one of the largest toastmaster clubs in the southwest region. This was like taking command of the Enterprise, the flagship of the Federation. I felt tremendous anxiety about taking the position as I didn’t want to screw up the club with my lack of leadership ability. But as time went by I discovered again that I was comfortable with command. It became easier every week. There are a lot more challenges in this club than there are in Voice Links, but I’m loving it and have become quite comfortable with the job.

Last week, however, the universe threw me a test. Was I the scrapper or still the healer? The captain or the counselor? The leader or the follower?

Many of you know from my tweets that I’ve been taking a CERT class. That stands for Community Emergency Response Team. It’s a course you can take for free, sponsored by Homeland Security, that teaches you what to do when disaster strikes your town and first responders are overwhelmed. You’re basically trained on how to help yourself, your family, and your neighbors survive until the cavalry can reach you. You learn medical triage, fire suppression, search and rescue, disaster psychology (like how to help victims cope with loss and fear), and lots more. I took the class with my friend, Dana Richardson, who had taken the class before and took it again as a refresher. It was nice going through the class with him because he already knew so much and was a good source of information for me when I had questions between classes. Dana was pretty good at this stuff, and a couple of weeks ago he acted as our Incident Commander when we did a light simulation of how to do search and rescue in buildings. Everyone in the class relied on Dana since we all knew he’d taken the class before. This was to be a big mistake however, and something that taught me a big lesson.

Last week we had our final class. We had to do our big disaster simulation, which basically involved handling the aftermath of an “earthquake.” Several members of the fire department were on hand to help us with our simulation and make sure no one really got hurt, and our two instructors were on hand as well. The week prior we had signed up for our roles. Everyone nominated Dana to be our Incident Commander, the person on scene who is totally in charge and has to decide where everyone goes and what everyone does in the midst of chaos. Below him are the Medical, Search and Rescue, and Operations (fire) leaders. And each of those leaders has a team of people. I signed up to be on the search and rescue team… pretty low down on the totem pole. My job was going to be to search rooms for “victims” and bring them to medical for triage. I didn’t feel remotely qualified for a higher position. I was new and inexperienced. Those who had taken the class before we put into the leadership positions. All this planning turned out to be for nothing though as you will soon see.

The night had arrived for our final class. We were given our CERT bags which included a helmet, goggles, vest, flashlight, first aid kit, and so much more. Dana knew I was giddy with excitement and nervousness. I had heard the simulation was pretty intense. But I knew all I had to do was listen to the Search and Rescue leader and do what he said, so I figured I was in good shape. We were told to take a quick break to use the bathroom and then to meet outside to begin the simulation. When I got outside though, I didn’t see Dana. I looked around for him, but he just wasn’t there. The fire dept. lit a controlled fire outside the building, and our instructor, Page, came by and said, “Okay everyone listen up. There’s just been a terrible earthquake. People are trapped in the building and there are fires all over the place. Go.” Someone said, “Wait, where is Dana? He’s going to be our commander.” Another person said, “Hey, our Medical leader isn’t here either. We can’t begin without her.” Page yelled out, “People are now dying while you’re talking folks.”

I quickly realized what had happened. Page removed all our leaders and tucked them into the building as victims. She threw us into chaos as our command structure broke down instantly and we had no “leaders” to take charge. Someone said, “Who’s going to be in charge then? What are we going to do?” Before I knew what I was doing, I walked to the highest spot on the lawn in our group and raised my voice, “Listen up! Dana’s not here and we don’t have time to wait for him. You, over there, you’re going to be our Search and Rescue Leader. Stand over there. You, over there, you’re our Operations Leader, please stand right over here. Do I have a volunteer for Medical Leader?” A woman tentatively raised her hand. I said, “Great, please stand over there.” Everyone else, go stand behind the leader of your choice. They all moved. Someone yelled out, “Are you going to be our Incident Commander then?” I paused for a moment. I hadn’t even realized what I’d been doing. I just knew we had to get started and were wasting precious time so I started moving people into groups. So I said, “Uh yeah, I can do it until someone more qualified comes by to relieve me.” Inside I was thinking, “Shoot, I didn’t read up on what the Incident Commander does! I have no idea what to do here! How can I possibly be the commander?” Even though we had covered in class what an Incident Commander does, since I knew I was only going to be on the Search and Rescue team, I didn’t bother to brush up on it, so I had to recall information I’d learned weeks ago.

I turned to my Fire Suppression team because the fire was already going and I knew we had to get that out first before we could even enter into the building. I told them to engage the fire and put it out. Fire extinguishers were standing by so they went to handle that. Then I told my Search and Rescue leader to start assigning people in his group into teams. And I told my Medical leader to pick someone in her group for triage, transport, and morgue detail. I also told her where to set up her medical operations once we got inside and to create separate areas for triage, for victims whose injuries were delayed or minor, for victims whose injuries were life-threatening or immediate, and a morgue for victims who died on scene. By the time I was done, our fire crew had the fire out and we were ready to go into the building.

I knew our instructors had set many traps for us, and my most important goal and duty was to keep my CERT members alive. So we entered very cautiously, even though our urge was to rush in and start saving people. It took upwards of 5 to 10 minutes for the Search and Rescue teams to put their gear on (helmet, goggles, gloves, vest, flashlights), and for our Medical team to move chairs into circles for their various triage areas. The whole time our adrenaline was pumping. Even though we knew it was just a simulation, we were all on edge and in the moment. We didn’t want to screw up our final exam.

I realized that as the Incident Commander I had no one to tell me what to do. I had to make the final decision on everything. My operations team was running around the outside of the building putting out fires (under supervision of the real fire department) and turning off electricity and gas (simulated, not real). My medical team had no victims to treat so I turned my attention to Search and Rescue (S&R). Mark, my S&R leader, had two teams assembled. Before we sent them out, I reminded them not to go into any rooms where they smelled anything toxic or heard coughing coming from inside. The search teams went out and started searching rooms. I had to plant myself in a position so my S&R and Medical leaders could both see me. I can’t tell you how hard it was not to start running off to search rooms but to trust that our crews could manage the job.

One of our search teams didn’t come back to report in. Both Mark and I had to resist the urge to run down the hall to find out what happened to them. I had to grab a runner from Medical to gear up and go check. We told him to go down the hall, turn left and let us know if he could see the search and rescue team down the hall. But for some reason, he opened a door and went in by himself to look for the team. He was pronounced dead by our instructors. You never go in a room or building without a buddy. While we came to grips with our loss, I had to get another person from Medical into their search and rescue gear.

One lone team member came back from the original lost team to report that they had gone into a room where they smelled ammonia and heard coughing and she’d lost contact with her partner. Dead. We were all upset. After the warning I had just given them, they went and entered a toxic room. We’d lost another rescue worker. I felt like a failure and so did Mark and the lady who’d lost her partner. Two down and we hadn’t even found a victim yet! I was frustrated but we had to keep going. I had to grab more people from Medical to replace the lost search and rescue workers, leaving Medical with only two people to manage what should have been a 4 person team.

Meanwhile, our instructors turned off the lights in the hallway and now we were working in pitch black. I heard Page say, “I hope you all brought your flashlights…” in a sing-songing I-know-you-didn’t-bring-your-flashlights kind of way. Some of us did have our flashlights, thank goodness. Pretty soon one of our S&R teams found a victim. Dana. As they brought him in to Medical with “minor injuries” I shot him a look that basically said, “You could have warned me…” He just grinned evilly and went inside to be treated.

Bodies were piling up in the morgue: 3 dead, 1 injured. We had to find 2 more in the building somewhere. Our S&R teams were moving a lot more cautiously and slowly as they had already seen 2 of their own “die.” We found the last two victims and Medical took care of them. My Operations crew reported the building was now free of fires and electrical and gas hazards. The building was as secure as it could be, our search and rescue efforts were done, and Medical had all the injured (and dead) under control. The simulation was ended. It was way more intense than I expected it would be.

Our instructors then went over everything we did right and wrong. I was compelled to find the S&R member who walked into the toxic room and ask her, “Why did you go in there after I had just warned you not to? I’m curious.” She said, “I know, I know. But I heard people alive in there, coughing, and I figured I could just run in and get them and be out really quick.” In an intense, emotional, situation you don’t always think with your head but with your heart. That can get you killed in a disaster though.

There were accolades all around. When Page got to me she said, “How did Erin end up as the Incident Commander? Anyone know?” Someone said, “Because she stepped up when no one else would.” Page said, “That’s right! The Commander isn’t the person who is most qualified. It’s the person willing to take charge when no one else will. The person willing to take responsibility. How long do you think you would have been standing there, while people in the building were dying, if she hadn’t stepped up when she did? It took her only 10 seconds to assume command. All of you were just as qualified as she was, but none of the rest of you stepped up to the plate. Congratulations Erin on being a leader.”

I was proud of myself for taking command of the situation. I wouldn’t have done that a couple of years ago. I would have gladly waited for someone else to do it – not my problem, someone else can have that responsibility! But after consciously working on my leadership and command skills it was nice to see the Universe giving me a chance to exercise them. I was surprised no one else stepped up to take command though. Dana told me he’d read that in a disaster situation, 10% of the population is just going to break down, totally incapable of coping, 80% will be willing to be led, and 10% will step up into leadership positions.

My CERT disaster simulation showed me a side of myself I wasn’t sure was there. In the past, I wouldn’t have taken a leadership role because I couldn’t handle the responsibility of being wrong or making a mistake. Today I feel differently. I accept that as a leader I will make mistakes, but I’ll learn from them. I’m not afraid to fail anymore.

When was the last time you assumed a leadership position or took command of an urgent situation? How did you feel taking command? Are you comfortable with the mantle of leadership or are you content to let others make decisions that will affect your life?  Try cultivating command and leadership in your own life.  See what you’re made of.  See what you can get done.

Side note: CERT class is awesome – and FREE! It will help you prepare for disaster and learn how to do basic first aid and triage life-threatening injuries. I highly recommend it. You can find a course near you here.

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

Time and again I’ve noticed that when I play it safe, very little changes.  I make no progress towards my goals, and if that goes on too long I even start to feel stuck.  The river of your life is a constantly moving entity, pulling and tugging at you, trying to get you to your destination.  Your destination is whatever goal you’ve currently filed with the Universe.   If you don’t like your destination, submit a “change of destination” form.  But don’t sit in your boat in the river and resist the current.  It wastes time and energy. 

Often we know what our next move is but we’re simply too afraid to take it.  Sometimes courage is required.  Sometimes you have to be daring.  Sometimes you just have to say, “What the hell… I’m doing it!” and deal with the consequences.  You don’t have to run off half-cocked though.  You can take a moment to aim.  But don’t take too long.  It’s better to take a shot at something and fail then never to try at all.  In my own life, I’ve definitely seen that when I take risks they always pay off.  Not necessarily the way I thought they would, but if I fail I get a learning experience.  Don’t be afraid to fail, otherwise you’re saying you’re afraid to learn.

Imagine if you went to the shooting range for the first time.  You hold the gun tentatively in your hand, lift it to eye level, use the site to take aim at your target and fire a shot.  What’s the likelihood you’ll hit a bullseye on your first shot?  Probably pretty small.  What if you keep shooting?  Will you get better?  Of course.  What if you get instruction from someone who already knows how to shoot?  You’ll do even better when you take your own shot.  What if you learn all you can about shooting and you practice and practice?  Eventually you will hit that bullseye.  Eventually you will accomplish your goal and get where you want to go.

Last week I decided to do something I’ve always been a little afraid to do.  I wanted to face the fear head-on and see what happened.  What I did last week actually illustrates the point I made above in a pretty literal way.  I went to the gun range with a friend who taught me how to shoot a hand gun.  I know, I know… what is Erin the spiritual guru doing with a gun?  That’s pretty far from “Spiritual Wisdom for Conscious People” right?  Nah.  I’ve always been interested in self-defense, disaster preparation, and protecting myself and my loved ones.  Two decades ago I had a boyfriend who taught me how to shoot a rifle, use nunchucks and throwing stars, and how to shoot a bow.  I’ve always been fascinated, but responsible.  I filmed my trip to the gun range; you can watch it below.

(Note: First video I’m posting to YouTube.  Be kind; I’ll get better over time.  Please subscribe to my channel for future video updates if you’re a YouTube member: www.youtube.com/erinpavlinadotcom)

I challenge you to take aim at a goal you’ve been putting off and take your best shot.  Nothing is gained by procrastination.  Go out and fail a little, try a little, improve a little.  Keep shooting.  Keep learning.  Don’t stop until you reach your goal!

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

In reality, it’s your belief about death that causes you to fear it.  Do you fear death because you believe it will be the end of you, your essence, and you don’t want to end?  Do you fear death because you’ve been taught that God will judge you and  you may not fare so well?  Are you afraid you’re going to go to Hell?  Do you fear you’re going to be floating like a cloud for eternity?  Are you concerned that you might be “alive” in your body in your coffin forever?  Do you fear death because you don’t want to meet up with abusive parents on the other side?

We fear death because we don’t know what’s going to happen when we die and therefore we don’t know if we should be afraid or look forward to it.

What evidence do we have about the existence of the afterlife?  There are books that include accounts of people who have had near-death experiences, where they died, had an experience, and came back to tell of it.  Some would say they weren’t really dead if they were able to come back, so their accounts aren’t real and were probably hallucinations.  There are books that contain accounts of those who remember their past lives, suggesting there is a life, then an afterlife, then more lives.  There are those who have had out of body experiences and know that their soul can live without their body.  And of course there are mediums who communicate with those on the other side; if the dead weren’t there, how could mediums communicate with them? 

Some say near death experiences, past lives, out of body experiences, and communication with deceased relatives are hogwash.  These people have probably never experienced any of them, because I can tell you that people who have experienced them tend to have no doubts that our consciousness survives death. 

What if death was something wonderful though?  What if when you die you go to a loving, peaceful place?  What if you’re reunited with loved ones you’ve been missing terribly?  What if death releases you from pain and misery and puts you back together again, whole? 

Since most people have not had a personal experience that convinces them of the existence of an afterlife, they have no choice but to bring their dominant belief about death to the table.  What is your belief?  And do you realize that with no personal experience, you’re adopting a belief for which you have no evidence?  And if you have no evidence for it, then your belief is based on speculation.  Why speculate that something terrible happens after death instead of speculating that something wonderful happens after death?  Since you have an absence of evidence either way, why choose something that scares you?  How does that empower you? 

All of your beliefs in life should empower you.  If you lack evidence for a belief, adopt one that empowers you instead of one that scares you.   

If you want to stop fearing death, first get clarity on what  you believes happens when we die.  Then ask yourself if you have evidence to support that belief.  If not, ask yourself if there is a more empowering belief you could adopt that, if it were true, would cause you to stop fearing death.  Then adopt that belief. 

I personally don’t fear death at all.  I’ve had out of body experiences that show me that my body is just a shell that houses my soul.  I’ve communicated countless times with deceased people on the other side when I do intuitive readings for my clients, making connections with people I can’t possibly know existed.  I have memories of past lives.  And lastly, I have memories of my time between lives which I believe to be accurate.  Have I physically died in this incarnation yet?  No.  But I don’t fear death because my personal evidence strongly suggests to me that death is nothing to fear and that we do go on with our consciousness intact. 

I don’t fear death, which makes living a lot easier too.  When you aren’t afraid to die, you find you aren’t afraid to really live, because in the end, nothing can truly harm you, not even death.

Lose your fear of death today.  Adopt a new, more empowering belief about death, and then join Toastmasters to get over your fear of public speaking.

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.