The other bit of information you need to know about me in order to fully understand and appreciate the story I’m about to tell you is that while I am pretty darn successful in the areas of Love, Truth, and Oneness, I’ve had to really work over the years at getting better at Authority, Power, and Courage.  I’ve had to overcome panic disorder, being too dependent on my parents well into adulthood, and letting other people tell me what I should be doing with my life.  And while I’ve made significant strides in the area of Authority, Power, and Courage over the years (some of my friends can’t even believe how far I’ve come) I still have a lot to learn.

Okay, you’ve got the background.  Here’s the story of how I recently went up a level in Courage, Power and Authority.

As I mentioned, I joined Toastmasters three years ago because I knew at some point I’d find myself up on stage speaking to large crowds.  I figured I might as well get a jump on becoming a better speaker so that when I actually did take the stage I didn’t die of fright.  I’ve done well in Toastmasters, earning my first educational award – Competent Communicator – and taking on officer positions within my club to improve my leadership abilities.  In January of 2009 I became President of my Toastmaster club, Voice Links.  I did this because I’ve never been the leader of an organization or group (though I’ve taken the Vice President position many times) and I wanted to have the experience of being the person in charge, the leader, the head honcho, the buck stopper.  I had great success being President of my club, I learned a lot about delegation, managing others, and being a leader.  I was told by several members that I was one of the best Presidents the club had ever had.  I preened.  I felt good.  I stepped down.  Yes, I stepped down as President even though I could have remained for another 6 months.  I did this because the job wasn’t challenging for me anymore and I’ve learned that if I get too comfortable it means it’s time for a greater challenge.

I am a member of another club, Powerhouse Pros, which happens to be the largest club in our district with over 50 members, and is more geared towards people who are interested in becoming professional speakers.  This is the club Steve’s been in for years.  I was asked to take on the position of VP of Membership for the upcoming term, which I agreed to do because I knew it would be a challenge and a growth experience, which is what I’m actively seeking right now.  But the day after I stepped down as President of Voice Links, I was asked if I was willing to become President of Powerhouse Pros.  The thought terrified me, honestly, because I didn’t feel ready to take over a club that had had such recent massive growth and a club where people were actually using it to become professional speakers.   I’d only been in the club 8 months myself!  But I realized that I had to face this challenge because it was exactly what I asked for.  I had to feel the fear and do it anyway.  I had to step into a role I didn’t feel quite ready for because those are the situations that provide us with the most growth.  Steve had a good chortle at how the universe pushed me in this direction.  And he agreed it would certainly help me in the area of Courage, Power, and Authority.  I accepted the job even though I didn’t feel ready or capable.

I was immediately catapulted into a leadership position unlike anything I experienced in my other, more laid-back club.  The difference in correspondence alone is monstrous, but managing all of these people and making sure their needs are being met is a real challenge.  I am very lucky that I have an executive board full of officers who are awesome, kick ass, and quite competent!  Once we all become accustomed to our roles, I feel our ship will sail quite smoothly.  

The transition officially takes place on July 1, but I was asked to give a speech at our June 29th meeting, awarding our outgoing president with an engraved gavel for her year of service to our club.  I wasn’t exactly expecting to have to create a tribute speech, but I accepted the challenge.  Our outgoing Vice President of Education, the person in charge of creating the agenda for each meeting, came up with the brilliant plan of us doing a Wizard of Ah’s theme, which would involve several of us acting our parts all night during the meeting.  Whoa.  Hang on.  Not what I signed up for.  Hold up!  I found myself charged with the role of the Wicked Witch who is out to fill our president’s shoes (aka the ruby slippers).  Steve got such a kick out of this idea.  He said, “Oh yeah, you gotta do it.  You totally have the Wicked Witch cackle down pat.  I’ve heard you do her voice.  You’d be a natural at it.”  I resisted, “But I’m already doing a whole speech that is sure to make me nervous.  You want me to act all night too and memorize lines and, and, and…”  He replied, “This is what you want.  A challenge.  And the universe is giving it to you.  Accept the challenge.  That’s how you go up a level.”

Shortly thereafter the universe sent several synchronicities to show me I wasn’t going to get out of this so easily.  First, Steve suddenly got an email from a woman who signed her name “Just call me the Wicked Witch of the East.”  That was synchronicity #1.  Ten minutes later I found myself at the grocery store, parked next to a vehicle with the license plate “WchyWmn.”  That was synchronicity #2.  The third synchronicity came in the form of someone on television mentioning the tornado from the Wizard of Oz movie.  I agreed to be the witch.  I had a hat and a cackle and I knew how to use them!

Now guess who they got to join me in this debacle?

John Kinde, playing the scarecrow.  John is a professional speaker, humorist, and runs an Improv Troupe here in town.  This man is the unmitigated king of observational humor.

Bryant Pergerson, playing the Tinman.  Bryant made it all the way to Toastmaster’s highest competition, the International Speech Contest, beating out nearly 25,000 other toastmasters along the way.  My man Bryant can speak like nobody’s business.

S. Frank Stringham, playing the Cowardly Lion.  S. is also a professional speaker and comedian who does an amazing impression of the Cowardly Lion.  S.  is a member of John’s Improv Troupe as well.  The man was born to be on stage and is always entertaining.

Darren LaCroix, playing the Wizard.  Darren is actually a World Champion of Public Speaking and coaches people on how to be better professional speakers.  If you want to know how to speak better, you get with Darren or buy his products.

Bill Parker, as our narrator.  Bill is a Distinguished Toastmaster, the highest level of distinction that Toastmasters offers, and is also a new member of the Improv Troupe.  He’s quite comfortable speaking and has been doing so for years.

Sherri Parker, playing Glenda, the Good Governor of the South.  Sherri is our new District Governor, a high mucky muck in the Toastmaster organization, and also a Distinguished Toastmaster who gave a keynote address at our recent Toastmaster Leadership Institute.  Girlfriend’s got it going on!

And then me.  Little old me.  Still struggling to get the butterflies to fly in formation.  It was like standing next to Tom Cruise, Robert DeNiro, Tom Hanks, Robin Williams, and Meryl Streep while they decide to throw together a little something to act out for fun. 

But hey, I’m here to learn, to get my feet wet, to challenge myself, and this was how it had to be.  I got the script for our play the morning of the performance.  I spent the day practicing my cackle and also writing up my tribute to our outgoing president.  I fed the butterflies in my stomach since they were hanging out so long, I figured they might be hungry.

I was too busy to be nervous, but occasionally throughout the day I would get stabs of adrenaline as I realized what I was going to put myself through.   The night before our meeting I had a dream about the entire event.  There turned out to be some prophetic components to this dream.  First, I dreamed that twice as many people were at the meeting than we usually have, and in the dream we ran out of chairs and it was standing room only.  I also dreamed that some of our guests were in school and had to attend a toastmaster club meeting as part of class credit.  I dreamed that our VP of Education, Bill, was late – he usually arrives first to help set up the meeting room, but in the dream he came only 10 minutes before the meeting which, at a meeting as chaotic as this was going to be, would have been a bad idea.  I also dreamed that our outgoing president, Pam, was in a bad mood and angry at our VP of Education.

All of these things I dreamed came to pass.  Our room was overflowing with all manner of people, more than 50 people showed up.  It was insane.  Several people had to stand in the back because we ran out of chairs.  Our president, Pam, was angry at Bill because the fake agenda he handed out was wrought with errors and she was annoyed with him.  Plus he was nowhere to be found as he was running unusually late.  And there were several students from the local university who came by to witness the meeting as part of one of their classes.

Back to the story …

This night turned out to be a whirlwind for me.  I successfully did Pam’s tribute.  I did a decent job as the Wicked Witch, though I spoke much faster than I should have.  Our area, division and district governors came by to do our officer installation so I was involved in that.  And finally, at the end of the meeting, Pam called me up to get feedback from our guests and to end the meeting.

Through it all, though, I had fun.  I can’t believe it, but I had fun.  Something I’d been dreading turned out to be something quite enjoyable.  By the end of the meeting I could feel a metaphorical mantle of power settle on my shoulders, and instead of weighing me down, it raised me up.  And I learned something so valuable.  When you face your fears instead of running from them, you go up a level in courage.  And if you can remember to have fun in the process, you’ll have all the power you’ll ever need.  For a moment there, I forgot all about the butterflies in my stomach.  They had stopped fluttering.  I think they were afraid of my cackle.

When Steve and I got home that night I was riding a high I haven’t had in a long time.  We sat on our couch together and watched the end of a Star Trek episode, Remember Me.  In it, Beverly Crusher is in a reality of her own making and is trying to get back home.  At one point she says, “Could it be that simple?  Just click my heels together?”  It was the final nod from my Guides.  I’d done good, and I was pleased with myself.  I know the road ahead may have some bumps, and I know the butterflies may come back, but I will face them with courage.

What could you do today that would help you level up in courage?  Where have you gotten so comfortable that it’s not even a challenge anymore?  What are you avoiding doing that you know would provide you with tremendous growth?  Follow that yellow brick road, my friend.  At the end you’ll find not a wizard, but your own power.

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

At the time of his passing he was very surprised to find himself standing next to his own body.  He was confused initially.  Eventually he understood that he had died, but this didn’t happen immediately.  I think up until he got to the hospital he thought he might be able to get back into his body.

Once he realized he was truly beyond recovery, his attention turned to the energy being cast at him by the people milling around outside the hospital.  In some ways, this energy tethered him.  Such an outpouring of love, he was filled by it.  It was gratefully accepted by him.  He seemed very much in a state of peace, love and gratitude.  It’s almost as if he was wading through a pool of love energy, with a sense of wonder and he felt blessed.

I don’t feel like he immediately went to his family.  This is probably because the energy around the hospital was so strong.  But eventually he was able to tune into his family and go to them.  It feels like he centered his energy on his mother and his children.  Although it pained him to see his family so upset, I feel like he was mostly trying to let them know that he was okay, perfectly fine, and totally intact.  The aura of peace around Michael was very strong, and he wanted to comfort his family but could not.  I have no doubt his family will feel his presence around them during this difficult time for them.

People have asked me how he feels about his children. He loves his children so honestly, easily, and ardently.  He feels they are in good hands with his mother.  I feel he feels some regret that he won’t be there to raise his children, but I don’t feel like he is agonized over this.  He believes they will be okay and very well cared for.

There is a sense of relief in Michael.  A feeling of putting down a very heavy weight and finally being free.  He can feel the love people are casting at him, and although he feels the sadness too, it is not crippling him in any way.  He feels compassion for those who are mourning him.

I also feel he is hovering, easily and nicely, without great effort.  He will probably cross over completely after his funeral or at such point as people disconnect their energy from him in a more “official” manner.  Maybe that’s why we have funerals and say goodbye to our deceased loved ones, to let them know it’s okay to go on.

Michael is bathed in love at this moment.  He is surrounded by angels both living and incorporeal.  He feels grateful for the life he had, and feels intense love for his family and children.  Although the people he left behind may mourn deeply for him, he is awash in a state of love, gratitude, and peace.

The best thing you can do for Michael now is to keep sending him love, and cherish the positive happy memories you have of him and his impact on your life – big or small.  His journey is not quite over, but he’s getting there.

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

Answer:  More than one person has asked me this question recently, and in light of the recent deaths of so many celebrities (David Carradine, Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, and Michael Jackson) I figure it’s a good time to answer it.

Technically, the answer is yes.  You can interact with anyone on the other side as long as you both are willing.  At that point you will both be energy, not identity, and it won’t be as thrilling or exciting as you’re probably imagining it now. 

Remember that fame is something that happens here on Earth.  It’s not like Elvis is entertaining in the ether, performing 5 sold out shows per week.  His energy is there, sure, and you could probably even engage with him in some type of dialogue.  But once you arrive there  you will remember that Elvis is just an aspect of God consciousness, as you are, and the lure of celebrity will be gone.  What is left are our experiences, consciousness, and growth, not our bank accounts, notoriety, or fame.

There are some celebrities who may not have fully crossed over, though.  People who were murdered or committed suicide, or who really resist dying, could still be lingering around with their celebrity identities intact.  In those cases, when you died, you’d probably breeze right past them and not encounter them at all.  But these celebrities could still be communicated with by a psychic medium, and the celebrity would retain their identity, even though it would be healthier for them to let it go and cross over.

Remember that we live many lives.  You might get back to the ether and discover you were Cleopatra in a previous life, or Marilyn Monroe or Albert Einstein.  Wouldn’t that be a kick?  What if you’re the celebrity or famous person everyone wants to connect with and you don’t even remember who you were?  In the ether we are identified by our wisdom and our level of consciousness, not our record sales on Earth.

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

And away we go…

Can I choose right now who I want to be in my next life?
You can choose right now, but that’s like asking a 5 year old what he wants to be when he grows up.  Experiences and how your life ends will likely lead you to make a different choice later than you would now.  Live the life you’ve got, and worry about the next one when you’re dead.

Will the people I love in this life be with me in my next life?
Some of them may choose to incarnate at the same time as you, but that doesn’t guarantee you will meet up with them.  Remember, once you incarnate you have free will.  If you arrange it, you can probably get your guides to nudge you in their direction.  Also remember that they have their own lessons to learn, so don’t get too attached to having a similar family structure with the same souls in another life.

I cannot see myself coming back as a man (I am a woman now).  Can I just be a woman each time?
No, you’re going to be all kinds of people.  That’s part of learning.  When you get back to the ether  you’ll remember the lives you’ve had as a man.  And it won’t terrify you as much as it seems to right now.

Do souls reincarnate on other planets as other species besides humans?
I don’t have a lot of knowledge or experience in this area.  I know there are a lot of people who do believe we can reincarnate as something other than humans.  When it comes down to it, I don’t see why not, but I haven’t personally encountered someone who has, and I have no memories of being what we would term an alien.  So I’m waiting for more information or experience on that one.

Why would someone incarnate with a mental disability?  It’s just a burden on their caretakers.  What could they possibly learn with a mental disability?
Maybe they’re here to teach compassion.  Sometimes souls incarnate knowing their life is going to be physically or mentally tough from the outset.  They do this because they know life is temporary, but learning, love, and compassion are eternal.  They are worthy of our deepest respect.

Is it possible to be in a location and sense something terrible happened there without knowing exactly what it is?
Absolutely.  I feel odd at Hoover Dam, and I felt awful at Ground Zero in New York.  Events, deaths, murders, etc. can leave an emotional residue that is easily picked up by those who are attuned to those channels.

Do you believe vampires are real?  I mean, besides the astral vampire you saw in that experience.
I haven’t met a “real” flesh and blood vampire here.  I know there are people who behave and dress like vampires, but I have never met what I would understand as a vampire.  If I do, I hope he’s hot like Angel.

Do twins share one higher self?  Are they part of one soul that has split?
I am a twin myself and I do not feel like my sister and I share a higher self.  Mine feels very distinct from hers.  Then again, we are all connected further up the chain.  But at the point you are asking about, no, it’s not like one soul splits into two to double their experiences.

Do you know of any video games that raise the player’s vibration?
That’s a great question.  I know Steve was always yapping on about the Ultima games.  He liked them.  I’m sure someone has come up with something that challenges the players and holds them to a high moral code.  If you are reading this and know of such a game, please share it in the forums.

How should you choose a career option when there are many you’ve identified as awesome for yourself?
It’s great to have so many options.  Congratulations on that.  If it were me, I would imagine succeeding in each one and ask my future self which one she would be most excited about accomplishing/doing.   So imagine you’re looking back through time and see which one would thrill you the most if you were succeeding at it in the way you want.

How do you get negative energy to buzz off, and how do you keep it away?
Figure out what feeds the negative energy and stop serving it to them.  If they can’t get a tasty meal, they’ll bark up someone else’s tree.  Be loving, kind, and joyous.  They don’t like that.

Are suicides ever pre-planned before you incarnate?
I don’t believe so, no.  By definition you are choosing to end your life before dying naturally (or by the free will of another’s actions, like murder or accident).  Setting yourself up to suffer physically or mentally is often pre-planned.  But you go into it with full knowledge of why you’re setting yourself up to be in that condition.  It’s just too bad you forget why you did it.

I am a writer, and often it feels like my characters are real people that I’m talking to in my head.  They seem to have a life of their own.  Is this possible?
Many writers report that their characters introduced themselves to them one day.  I believe a lot of writers are getting material channeled to them from their guides, from muses, from other beings, or even angels.   In fact, I personally think J.K. Rowling got an entire download when she tapped in to Harry Potter.  Some of my best blog entries were written by my guides.  I had very little to do with them.  I feel so used.

Is it possible to switch from being an introvert to an extrovert?
Yes, absolutely.  I know people who have done it *cough* Steve *cough*.  I’m certain there are books and articles online that discuss how to do it.  That’s a relatively easy behavior to change.

Is it possible that my spirits guides are also spirit guides for other people who are currently incarnated?
Yes.  Some guides will pop in and out of your life, and while they’re popped out of yours, they’re popped in to someone else’s.  But it takes a great commitment to guide an incarnated soul.  If the guide is helping multiple people he or she is qualified to be doing so.

What exactly is the ether that you refer to so often?
Ether is the word I use to describe the state or place I was in before I incarnated and where I will return to when I’m done with this life.  Some people might refer to it as Heaven, some as the 4th dimension, and I’m sure there are dozens of other names for Home.

That’s it for now.  Thanks for all the questions.  Feels good to knock a few of those out the door.

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

Answer:  You are greeted on the other side by Love.  You can expect to see angels, family, friends, and even your pets.  During readings I sometimes pick up on the energy of deceased pets as well as relatives and friends.  Pets do wait for us on the other side when there was a close, loving attachment on this side. 

Sometimes people ask if they will meet up with their abusive parent on the other side.  You may or may not.  It’s not like a voice comes up on a loud speaker and says, “Will the relatives of Joe Smith please meet Joe at the pearly gates.  Joe Smith.  All relatives of Joe Smith please report to the pearly gates now please.  He’s on his way!”  They will be drawn to your side by the ties of love when you cross over. 

Sometimes people have a religious experience when they cross over, meeting up with God or Jesus or whomever they believe will greet them.  Sometimes you’re with an angel who helps you understand what happened to you, as sometimes people aren’t aware that they’re dead. 

If you read accounts of near-death experiences, you’ll see that often people are told by a deceased relative that it’s not their time to die.  You’ll also read accounts of people who are greeted by pets, family, and friends on the other side. 

Love never dies.  You will see your loved ones again on the other side. 

The only caveat to this is if you send yourself to Hell and disconnect from the Light.  And on some occasions I’ve seen relatives who have cut the cords between them and their earthly families for whatever reason, and I would not expect to see them when you cross over.

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

First of all, Hell is a place you send yourself when you disconnect from Source/God and believe you are not worthy of universal love.  You can go to Hell when you die or you can put yourself in Hell even while you are still living.  Whether you are there while physically incarnated or after you slough off your mortal coil, the way to get out of Hell is exactly the same.  Stop beating yourself up.  Forgive yourself for your transgressions.  Accept the consequences of your actions.  Allow yourself to be loved once again.  I know, this is easier said than done.

Sometimes people feel they have done something so horrible in life that they need to be punished.  In life, we send people to prison, but in the afterlife, people seem to think they belong in the ultimate prison, Hell.  The only reason you feel that way is because you’ve been socially conditioned to believe that bad people go to Hell to burn for eternity.  So the universe accommodates you.  But the universe does not require you to go to Hell to serve out some retributive sentence on its behalf.  God loves you, no matter how you comport yourself while incarnated.  Yes, even if you murder, rape, and pillage your way through life, you are still loved by God.  I know, I know, how can that be?  Let me use one of my famous analogies.

Let’s say you’re a parent and you’ve got two kids.  They come up to you one day and say, “We’re going to play cops and robbers out in the backyard okay?”  You reply, “Sure kids, have fun, and try not to hurt yourselves.”  The kids go outside and one of them decides to play the part of the cop and the other the part of the robber.  A crime is committed, a great chase ensues, and there is a mock gunfight.  One of them goes down in a blaze of glory.  Are you mad at the shooter?  No.  Why?  Because it’s not real.  It’s pretend.  No one actually got hurt.  Why would someone ever choose to play the part of the robber – the bad guy?  Because it’s fun to see what it would be like, especially when you know it’s not real.  You get to explore and experience being “bad.”  Is anyone really hurt?  Nope.  As a parent do you love the “robber” child any less than the “cop” child?  No, of course not.  When the dust settles, they both get up and say, “That was cool.  Let’s play again.  Only this time let’s switch roles!”

I’m not sharing this analogy to condone you become a robber or a bad person, but to illustrate that you are never punished eternally for the role that you play.  Imagine if the “robber” child goes back into the house and says, “Mom, I think I should stand in the corner for an hour because I shot Johnny while we were playing cops and robbers.”  That would be silly.  God doesn’t require you to flog yourself for eternity no matter what mistakes you think you’ve made.  That doesn’t mean you aren’t responsible for your actions.  You make choices so you can learn and experience, and then you decide how you want to live. 

Back to your sojourn to the afterlife.  When you die,  if you really want to, you can decide that you deserve some kind of punishment.  This is a real shame in my opinion because it is so unnecessary.  But people do it, and I’ve seen it, especially among suicide victims and those who have committed murder.  They resist the Light because they fear judgment.  So they either stick around Earth, sucking on the energy of the living to do so, or they send themselves to the “corner,” (only in this case it’s a helluva corner!) where they allow lower vibrational entities to torture them for a really long time.  Eventually an angel comes by and says, “You done yet?  No?  Okay, I can wait.”

If you are one of the unfortunate people who find themselves in Hell, there’s only one way out.  You must forgive yourself for whatever it is you think you’ve done wrong.  You must remember that you are worthy of love.  And you must kindly ask the demon with the pitchfork to stop poking you so that you can go back to the welcoming embrace of Source.  Guess what?  The demon works for you.  So if you tell him to stop, he will.  Just say, “Jolly good, mate.  Thanks for the flogging.  Won’t be needing that sort of thing anymore.  I’m going Home now.  Have a nice day.”  And out you go.

People write to me all the time asking if they are going to Hell.  Some of them have never even hurt anyone.  One guy told me he denounced the existence of God one time and felt that certainly he couldn’t get into Heaven for that sort of transgression.  If you’re a parent, has your child ever said, “I hate you, Mom!  I hate you forever!”  Do they really?  As a parent, we understand frustration, anger, resentment, and the occasional shove.  You don’t go to Hell for that (unless you want to!).

When you make a mistake in life – and you will – learn to give yourself the same kind of love and forgiveness that the universe extends to you.  There is no reason to buy a ticket to Hell.  If you don’t like the result of your actions, make amends.  If you’re a mean son of a bitch, stop being a mean son of a bitch. 

When you die, you do go through a life review, and you get to see the consequences of all your actions whether you were present to experience them at the time or not.  And if you harmed others, you will feel and know their pain.  That is not Hell, that is understanding.  The life review is there to help you understand how your actions affected others.  You’re not meant to suffer for eternity.

When you die, don’t resist the light, the love, and the forgiveness.  You’re playing a part in a play.  If you didn’t like how it turned out, pick another part next time so you can experience something different.  And if you’re playing a role today that doesn’t feel good to you, it’s up to you to write new lines for your character right now.

You will pay for your crimes, so think carefully before you commit them.  But that payment comes through rehabilitation and understanding, not retribution and punishment.  Unless you’re into that sort of thing…

There is no Hell but that which you create for yourself.  Don’t go there.  There is no need.

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

Answer:  I get this question periodically so I figured it was a good time to answer it publicly. 

I discourage couples from getting a reading together where they are on the phone at the same time.  Experience has shown me that when spirit guides want to bring up something related to the marriage that sometimes the couple clams up their energy because they are afraid the guides are about to reveal something they don’t want their partner to know.  It can get uncomfortable real fast.  And when a person chokes off their energy like that, I can sometimes lose the connection to their guides.

Even when people don’t think there is a relationship problem, sometimes the guides need to tell you something that you need to know about the relationship or the partner, etc.  Imagine what would happen if you had a controlling guy in a relationship with a submissive woman and they were both on the phone.  The guides may need to talk to the woman about developing her personal power so she can get up the nerve to leave the guy or make serious changes in the relationship, but if the guides bring that up while the controlling guy is on the phone, she’s going to be in real trouble when the call is ended.

Or what happens if one partner is hiding debt from the other and the guides want to provide counsel on how to get out of debt?

The other issue that comes up is personal privacy.  Sometimes the guides will bring up issues from a person’s past, such as sexual abuse, because they need to talk to the sitter about it.  It’s possible the sitter’s spouse isn’t even aware of their partner’s previous sexual abuse.  How fun would that be for it to come out during a reading?  Because I am an intuitive counselor, personal issues do come up in readings sometimes, but the guides only bring them up if it will have a direct bearing on the challenges my sitter is facing, and where the resolution of those challenges will help them on their life path.

On rare occasions I will let a couple split their 30 minute reading into 2 15-minute readings, but that doesn’t really give us enough time to cover all aspects of a person’s life, and it doesn’t leave time for many follow up questions.  It’s sort of like asking a doctor to open you up, remove half your tumor, and then sew you up again.  While I’ve got you “open” so to speak, I want to finish up in there before I sew you back up.

Most people take notes during their reading, or record their reading with me, and then share what they want to share with their partner later.  It allows them to choose what they will share and what they want to keep private.  Readings are very personal and often times emotional, so think long and hard before you bring your partner in with you.

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

First of all, not all things want to be found.  What do I mean by that?  Sometimes there is a lesson in loss.  Why did you lose your Blackberry?  Are you spending too much time connecting with technology instead of with people in person?  Why did you lose your diamond wedding ring?  Is it symbolic of what’s happening in your marriage?  Pretend you’re in a dream and your dream self lost this item.  How would you interpret the dream?  How do you feel about the loss?  Do you feel irresponsible?  Victimized?  Forlorn or bereft?  What does the loss mean to you?

Second, is this an item you keep losing?  Maybe you’re not supposed to find it or have it in your life.  Consider that before you tear up the house or your plumbing.

I know what you’re thinking.  “Screw that symbolic sign crap, Erin, please just help me find my cell phone!”  Okay, fine fine.  Hold your horses.  If the item is meant to come back to you then there is a way to use psychic abilities to find it.

First you have to understand that there are many ways to find lost items using intuitive abilities.  If one way doesn’t work, try another one.

Pendulum Technique
Get a pendulum.  You can buy one online or from a new age store, or you can make a simple one using some thread and a bolt so that the bolt is hanging at the end of the thread.   Tell the universe what direction  you want to be “yes” and what direction will be “no.”  You can choose clockwise or counter clockwise, or you can do horizontal vs. vertical lines.  Sit quietly, put your elbow on the table to steady your arm, hold the top of the pendulum, and start asking “yes-no” questions.  “Is my cell phone in the house?”  “Is it in my bedroom.”  Keep playing until you find it.  If your subconscious mind doesn’t know where the item is, you probably won’t find it using a pendulum.

Use Clairsentience
If your primary psychic modality is clairsentience, which means clear-feeling, start walking around the area where you think you probably lost your precious item and try to feel a tug in your midsection pulling you in the direction of your lost item.  Or you might feel a hot or cold sensation telling you if you’re near or far, respectively.  You might feel a tingling sensation in your hands when you get close.  Don’t use your logic.  Feel for the tugging, temperature, or tingle.  If the item is in the area you’re searching, you could easily find it using this technique.

Use Clairaudience
If your primary psychic modality is clairaudience, which means clear-hearing, sit quietly, get meditative, and say in your mind, “Cell phone, where are you?”  Listen for the answer.  Again, you’re going to have to push your logic away.  If you could have found it with logic, you wouldn’t need to find it with intuition.

Use Clairvoyance
If your primary psychic modality is clairvoyance, which means clear-seeing, sit quietly, get meditative, and ask your item where it is.  Then allow an image to form in your mind’s eye.  Maybe you’ll see a movie play out in your mind.  Maybe you’ll just see it lying inside your couch cushion.  Maybe you’ll get a symbol or metaphor that must be figured out.

Use Claircognizance
If your primary psychic modality is claircognizance, which means clear-knowing, then turn off your rational mind completely and simply walk to where your item is, with confidence and assurance.  Don’t even think about it, just go there.  Yep, this one’s hard if you’re not a gifted claircognizant.

Ask Your Guides
If you’ve learned how to communicate with your guides, then get meditative and go talk to them.  Ask them where your item is.  They might tell you outright, or they might tell you why you lost it, and they might tell you that you’ll never see it again because finding it is not in your best interest.  I hope you’ve sent some gratitude to your guides recently.  Maybe they’re holding your Blackberry hostage.

Ask the Dream Master
Ask the guy who lives in your ceiling and sends you those lovely Angelina/Brad dreams if he’d be willing to show you where you lost your item.  He’s often more accommodating than the guides.  If you’re not good at remembering your dreams, this probably won’t work too well for you.

Ask Your Future Self
You’ve got a past self – he’s the dumb-dumb who lost the item in the first place – so why not ask your future self where you ended up finding it.  I love this technique.  Sit quietly and get meditative.  Meet your future self in your mind’s eye and have a conversation with him.  He might say, “Oh that?  Yeah we finally remembered we loaned it to Cathy and forgot to get it back.”  Or he might say, “Oh that?  Yeah, we put the ring on the side of the counter and it fell right into the sink.  Took us an hour to fish it out and the plumber charged us $100.  And by the way, don’t drink so much next Saturday, that’s gonna be one hell of a hangover!”

If At First You Don’t Succeed, Try Try Again
This takes practice and skill.  If you’re not used to divining locations out of thin air, cut yourself some slack if you fail to find your object the first time.  Keep working at it.  You will get better over time.  If you’re too emotionally attached to finding this object, that alone can block your success. 

Call a Professional
If all of these methods fail, call the professionals.  You can book a reading with a psychic, just be sure he or she is good at locating missing objects.  That is not my forte so do not book a reading with me to find your ring.  More than likely your guides will tell you something about it that you don’t want to know.

The Moral of the Story
Keep your precious items where they belong, or put a locator chip on them (or in them as the case may be.)  And try not to be a loser in the first place.

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

Steve told me that people with acidic blood have a harder time losing weight than people with alkaline blood.  So with our handy dandy ph strips, I tested my urine and I was at 6.8.  He said the goal is 7.2 and higher.  We were both expecting my urine to be far more acidic than it tested.  But I’m going to add a lot of alkalizing food to my diet to see if that can kick start me and my metabolism.  I’m having some hormonal imbalances as I haven’t gotten my period in over three months after being quite regular, so I’m not sure what’s up with that, and I’m not sure if whatever is causing that is having an effect on my weight loss efforts (no I’m not pregnant; I’ve tested 6 times in the last 2 months).

I tested my body fat with our handy dandy body fat tester and saw it was down .5%, but the next day it was back up .5% so I clearly cannot rely on that!  People ask if my clothes are fitting differently, and I’ve definitely gone down a dress size, but that happened late last year.  I haven’t seen much improvement there for the last 4-5 months.

Counting calories and counting points is hard some days when I eat out, because I have no earthly idea how many points are in a salad at a restaurant.  Could be 5, 12, or 18 for all I know.  So some days I’m knocked completely off course with my points and I just do the best I can.  It’s not feasible for me to eat at home every meal for the rest of the year.  At home I’m happy to weigh and measure all my food, but one meal out and I’m off kilter for the day.

All I can do is keep going, keep learning and keep adjusting my course.  I envy those of you to whom this comes very easily.  I’ve had to remind myself that I can’t be an expert at everything. ;)  You always hear about people who say, “Yeah I lost 30 pounds, but then I gained it all back.”  Ha, I haven’t even lost the 30 yet!  I’d be happy to experience that amount of weight loss and then worry about not gaining it back!

People also ask me what my guides are saying.  I tuned in the other day and got myself a metaphor.  Those of you who have had readings with me will appreciate that I get metaphors too.  In this metaphor they showed me an image of pushing at a door that says, “Pull” on it, and wondering why it won’t open.  Yeah, don’t I feel stupid?  They also showed me an image of a fly trying to get out of a closed window.  You can post in my forum if you have a sense of what those metaphors mean.  I’m all ears.

Please don’t send me an email suggesting any diet or exercise related tips.  Honestly, I’ve heard it all now.  Atkins, paleo, blood type, yoga, meditation, prayer, raw, whole unprocessed, fasting, supplements, liposuction, diet pills, therapy, hypnosis, NLP.  Someone even suggested I go vegan (where have THEY been?).  I appreciate the help and concern, but a man with one watch knows what time it is and a man with 30 is never sure.  I’m going to keep exercising, eat more spinach, cucumbers, and celery, and pull at the door instead of pushing against it.  Sigh.

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

Answer:  I believe we all start out with guides who are well suited to our plans and goals.  Over time, based on decisions you make and the paths you choose, new guides come in and old guides go out.

If you align yourself with darkness, you will attract guides who are more aligned with that as well.  I wouldn’t say they are positive or negative though.  That implies a judgment.  If you decide you want to go through life deceiving people or hurting people, you might attract guides who are more suited to helping you make that happen.  If and when you decide to alter your alignment, those guides will leave and new guides will come in. 

I don’t believe guides misguide you.  But it’s possible and perhaps probable that what at first appears to be poor guidance turns out to be quite beneficial for you in the long run.  Do our parents misguide us?  Do people in authority misguide us?  Or are they simply expressing their truth and/or hoping to help you avoid pitfalls they know are coming? 

You can dismiss a guide.  That’s true.  You can fire your guides and ask for new ones.  I don’t recommend you do that unless you are really clear about what you want and you’ve raised your vibration to a point where you know what’s best for you.  Imagine a 3 year old firing his parents because they won’t let him stay up all night.  Don’t do it out of spite or childishness.

You can’t really lose a guide.  You can disconnect yourself from them, but I’ve never encountered a guide who said, “I’ve had it with this guy.  I’m outta here.”  If you lose your guides it’s because you walked away from them.

Now I would say there are negative influences out there, but I wouldn’t call them guides.  If you choose to listen to them and they are leading you down a dark path, you are still responsible for all your choices.

In summary, everyone has guides when they incarnate.  Guides come in and out of your life based on what path you’re walking.  Some guides are with you your entire life and some flit in and out and help you on a more project-like basis.  There are no negative guides, per se, but you can attract the “help” and assistance of those aligned with fear if you so choose. 

In the meantime, be kind to your guides.  Send them love and flowers.  They love you and are there to help you.  Show some gratitude once in a while.

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

We’re going to have to use an analogy to understand this best.  The stork drops you off in a forest and you get to wander around the forest for the rest of your life.  Before you were born, you decided you wanted to see certain sites around the forest, but when you are born, you forget what they were.  So in comes your spirit guides.  Imagine they are floating above the forest.  They always know where you are and so they know where you’ve been.  They can also see where you’re going, up to a point.

Let’s say you’re on the path that leads to a big lake.  You go see a psychic who can communicate with your guides and you ask, “Am I ever going to find a lake?”  The guides report to the psychic, “Yes, she is really close.  She turns the next bend and it will be right in front of her, but she can’t see it from where she’s standing.”  So the psychic says, “Yes, it looks like you’re going to find that big lake.  Just keep doing what you’re doing and keep going the way you’ve been going.  You can’t miss it.” 

But let’s say you ask, “Am I ever going to find a lake?” and the guides tell the psychic, “There’s definitely a lake there, but she’s about 30 miles away.  In order for her to get to the lake she’s going to need to take a right, then a left, then two more rights, and a final left.  But between her and that lake are some things she’ll have to deal with, like a hungry jaguar, a pit with spikes in it, and a tree that’s laying across the path.”  So the psychic tells the sitter, “I do see that as an option however it’s not clear whether you will actually reach the lake.  There are going to be some challenges along the way, and you may make decisions that veer you away from reaching the lake.”  The sitter is annoyed.  “Do you see me at the lake or not?  It’s a simple question?”  To which the psychic, if she is honest and ethical, must reply, “You are capable, you have the ability, but you are not close enough to this goal for them to say for certain that you will arrive there.  We’ll have to see.  To increase your chances, however, you should probably invest in a hunting rifle, a big wooden plank, and a chainsaw.”  And that is the benefit in getting a reading with someone who can communicate with the guides hovering above your forest, to prepare you to face what’s around the corner, and to inform you of what you’ll need to safely navigate the road ahead.

I’ve learned something interesting after doing more than 1400 readings and getting a lot of feedback as to how things turned out for people afterwards.   I can tell when something is definitely going to happen and when something is so far off in the distance that one single choice you make along the way can derail you.  I liken these two options to shooting a gun, or spraying silly string.  When you shoot a gun, that bullet is going out with such force and trajectory that nothing is going to stop it and it’s going to hit its mark.  When you spray a can of silly string, the force is weak and the trajectory is almost impossible to calculate.  So when people ask me a question about their future, I can tell by whether I feel the gun or the silly string how likely or how close they are to achieving this desire.

Imagine being in your forest and there was only one path, and all you had to do was follow it to reach the other side of the forest.   You weren’t allowed to veer off the path, explore deeper territory, or even back track and try another path.  Why bother living?  What would be the point?  In reality, we are dropped off in this forest and we’re allowed to explore at our own discretion.  As a youngster, we follow our parents who make decisions about where we’re going, but as we get older, we are asked to take the lead and go off and find our own path. 

When I read for people I sometimes see people latch on to others in the forest and follow them on their path.  You’re allowed to do this, but make sure you get the opportunity to explore the parts of the forest that appeal to you too.  It’s not healthy to just follow someone else your whole life.

Also, you will meet people in the forest who are coming from the same place you’re planning to go.  Ask them what the path ahead of you looks like.  They might say, “Well there’s a jaguar loose on the path that way, be careful” or “You are really close to a beautiful lake.  Take the next right and you’ll be practically sitting on top of it.  You can’t miss it.”

Sometimes people ask me, “What is the name of my future husband and where and what exact day will he and I meet?”  Unless that’s going to happen tomorrow, do you understand now why a psychic cannot tell you with 100% accuracy the answer to that question?  However, if you ask, “Do you see love approaching on my path?  Is a relationship coming?” that I can definitely get an answer to.  When the guides look down on the path they can see other people who are about to interact with you.  If you’re standing close to a good potential partner, we can give you the nudge you need to “run into him.” 

Some psychics are loathe to sound anything less than omniscient.  They do a disservice to the craft though when they tell you something is a definite when in fact there are 10 ways for you to be sidetracked from your goal.  So if you ask them, “Where and when will I meet my future husband?” and they say, “10am on June 18th 2 years from now at the Starbucks on the corner” you’re like, “Oh wow, that’s incredible!”  Yeah, check back in two years and you’ll realize it probably didn’t happen and that psychic is nowhere to be found.  And in the meantime, maybe your prince charming ran into you a year earlier and you ignored him because the psychic told you it wasn’t going to happen until June 18th two years from then.

You must also understand that the guides may know something that is about to happen to you but can’t tell you because it will rob you of your power or derail something important.  A man wrote to me recently to tell me that about a month after his reading with me his wife was in a car accident and hurt her neck very badly.  He wanted to know why the guides didn’t warn him.  First, it’s not the responsibility of our guides to warn us about every pitfall life has to offer.  We wouldn’t grow if we could magically avoid all hardship.  Second, maybe she wasn’t headed for a car accident at the time of the reading, but chose a path afterward that led her to this accident.  Third, what if she was tooling along properly on her path and someone else on another path made a decision that suddenly and without warning impacted her path?  Accidents do happen.  The guides can see but they can’t move people around like pieces on a chess board and sometimes collisions happen.  And lastly, what would have happened if the guides had actually said to this man, “Tell your wife to be careful while driving, she’s due to have a terrible accident.”  Would she have driven at all?  Or would she have been so freaked out that she decided to take the bus?  And for how long?  A day, a month, a year?  Telling someone that something terrible is about to happen to them can send someone to bed, hiding under the covers forever. 

Does that mean the guides can’t warn us if something terrible is about to befall us?  I have often received warnings for people, but that happens when the danger or problem is right around the corner or when it’s already happening and the sitter just isn’t aware of it yet.  For example, this has happened when someone was being stalked and her stalker found her but she didn’t know it yet.  It’s happened when a guy was about to be fired but didn’t know it.  And it’s happened when someone had a life threatening illness but wasn’t aware of it yet.  In those cases, the guides can see and report on something that is already in the process of happening.  That’s another good reason to get a reading.

Will a spirit guide always warn you about something bad in these cases?  They’ll only tell you if it will help you on your path.  Guides are concerned about your growth, and not necessarily about your comfort.  What if getting fired is the best thing for you and warning you would give you the opportunity to prevent it?  What if the next beating you get from your abusive boyfriend is the beating that causes you to leave the guy?  Would they want to prevent that?  Would they say, “Be careful not to burn the eggs or he’s going to bust your nose?” or would they allow it to happen because it’s for your own good?  It’s not for me to say or judge what information a guide gives me to pass along.  I’m just the conduit.

I know you want definitive answers from a reading, but that sometimes comes with a price and it’s usually powerlessness.  I read for a woman once and the guides told me she was in dire straits financially, and suggested she start looking for a job.  The woman confirmed for me that she was unemployed and had no intention of looking for a job even though her bills were piling up and she was in deep trouble.  So I had to ask her, “Why are you avoiding getting a job and taking care of yourself?”  To which she replied, “A psychic in California told me I was going to win the lottery and a prince from Europe was going to marry me, so why should I bother with getting a job?”  Even if this was true, (and it most certainly was not!), she gave all her power up to this “vision” of her future, deciding to just sit back and wait for it to happen.  What if the supposed prince was supposed to find her working at a job and instead she’s sitting at home waiting for him to call? 

The guides do not want to strip you of your power.  Sometimes knowing too much about your future causes you to stop taking the very actions that will ensure it.  So the guides have to be careful about what information they tell you and how it’s phrased.  Guides won’t lie to you, but it’s probable they aren’t telling you the whole story either as that would ruin your adventure.  What if you’re supposed to run into that jaguar because it teaches you courage.  If they tell you about the jaguar and you avoid it, they’ll just have to coerce a lion to attack you instead. 

So, what’s going to happen to you?  That’s your choice.  What does the path look like just ahead of you?   What tools do you need to better prepare yourself to meet what’s on your path?  What aren’t you aware of that could be negatively impacting your path?   Are you currently on a path that has the capability of leading to a desired goal or are you going entirely in the wrong direction?  All good questions to ask your guides.

Your guides are here to help you navigate your way through the forest of life, not to fight your battles or make your decisions for you.  They are the map, but you are the explorer.  Be prepared, stay sharp, and consult your map every once in a while to make sure you are where you think you are and are going where you think you’re going.  Life is easier when you consult the map.  But even that’s a choice.

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

Right now you carry a set of beliefs inside you.  Are those beliefs serving your highest good?  Are those beliefs making you happy?  If the answer is no, listen up, because you’re doing yourself a huge disservice and the result is unhappiness.  How long do you want to be unhappy?

Happiness isn’t about what you have or what you’re doing.  Happiness is a state of being that is completely controlled by your own thoughts and beliefs.  If you’re not happy,  you’ve chosen not to be happy.  And if you think the world is making you unhappy, or your parents are making you unhappy, or the economy is making you unhappy, then you’re just plain wrong.  You are making you unhappy.  Because your level of happiness is directly related to your beliefs. 

Does this sound familiar?

“I’ll be happy when I win the lottery.”
“I’ll be happy when I get that promotion.”
“I’ll be happy when she agrees to marry me.”
“I’ll be happy when I get out of debt.”
“I’ll be happy when I get my own place.”

And so on.

What is your particular “I’ll be happy when…” story?

Years ago a friend wrote me a letter.  In it he said, “In order to be happy you must first decide to be happy.”  At the time I think I was 17, and I didn’t understand what he wrote to me.  In my world view, happiness was something that was a result of things going on in your life, so how could you decide what’s going to happen in your life, and therefore how could you decide to be happy?  But now I get it.  You can choose how you want to feel under any circumstance at any time in your life.  And if you can choose how you feel, why would you choose to feel unhappy?  Why not feel happy all the time?  But this is easier said than done.

So you have to look at your beliefs.  I believe that everything happens for a reason and that it serves my highest good.  I believe that even when bad things happen to me that they are there to teach me a lesson that will make my life better in the future.  I believe that life is a gift, and I can’t wait to see what I can do with this gift.  I believe that no matter what happens to me in this life, I am still loved, protected, and cared for by my posse on the other side.  I believe that I am never truly alone.  I believe I am helpful, caring, honest, kind, and just; and I believe people on our planet live better lives when people like me are around.

Are any of these beliefs empirically true?  No.  There’s no way for me to say these beliefs are absolutely true.  That’s why they’re beliefs and not facts.  I have chosen to believe these things, not because I saw evidence that they were true, but because my belief in them creates the evidence that makes them true for me. 

What do your beliefs look like?
“No one ever really gets ahead in this world.”
“People are selfish and will step on you to get ahead.”
“Money is the root of all evil.”
“Most parents screw their kids up so why bother having kids in the first place?”
“No one is looking out for me, they’re all too busy looking out for themselves.”
“I’ll never be good enough to get the job I really want.”

And so on.

But you’re choosing to believe those things and you’re making them true for you.  If my beliefs are not empirically factual, then neither are your negative or limiting beliefs.  So why carry them around with you like they’re facts?

Change your beliefs, change your world.

You choose your beliefs, and your beliefs create your reality.  So choose beliefs that serve and empower you instead of ones that bring you down or make you unhappy.

So how do you change your beliefs?  First, identify the beliefs you have that aren’t working for you.  The next time you find yourself unhappy ask yourself what you have to believe in order to feel so unhappy.  Write it down.  Keep doing this every time you find yourself upset or unhappy.  Identify the belief that goes with it and ask yourself if that’s something you care to keep believing or if there’s another way of believing that serves you better.  Keep a list of all these beliefs.   Then choose to let those beliefs go.  Those beliefs are gone. 

Next, come up with a new set of beliefs such that, if you believed they were true, would empower you.  Decide you’re going to adopt those beliefs.  Try them on for 30 days.  You have to really believe them though, you can’t just pretend.  Otherwise you’re saying, “I wish this was true” which means you believe it’s not.

Don’t tell me you can’t adopt a new belief in an instant.  You can.  You’re not saying, “This is empirically factual,” you’re saying, “I am choosing to believe this.”  Then let your reality reflect your belief back to you.  If you’ve never done this you might choose to believe it’s impossible.  Then of course, it is.  That just proves my point. ;)  Really, what do you have to lose? 

The more you adopt new beliefs that empower you, the better your life is going to get.  If you’re having trouble coming up with beliefs you can get behind, just try easy ones first.

“I believe that something positive happens to me every day.”
“I believe that there are at least 5 things I can be grateful for every single day.”
“I believe that people are usually kind.”
“I believe that somewhere in this world someone is acting kindly and unselfishly towards another person.”

You’ll find evidence of all these things if you’re looking.

But Erin, isn’t this just your RAS at work?  (That’s Reticular Activating System, which is just a fancy way of saying you see what you expect to see.)  So fine!  See what you expect to see.  Just start expecting to see great things!  Use the RAS to your advantage.  Why on earth would you choose to only see the negative?  What does that say about you?

You can’t fool the system though, so don’t try this:  “I believe people are really nice at heart except the big corporate greedy folks who prey on unsuspecting people, but hey, even they had mothers who probably loved them.”  Nuh uh.  That’s not going to work.  Adopt beliefs you can actually get behind without conditions.

My reality may not actually be real.  How would I know what was really real anyway?  But it doesn’t matter.  In my reality, I’m happy.  You’re welcome to share my reality with me any time you want.  I don’t own the happiness patent and I’m not going to charge you a royalty for being happy.

Don’t you owe it to yourself to carry beliefs that will bring you happiness?  Or do you believe you’re supposed to be miserable, lonely, depressed, scared, etc?  Tsk tsk.  Put that on your list and let it go.  I believe you’re better than that!  I believe you can adopt empowering beliefs.  I believe that happiness is yours and all you have to do is claim it.  If I believe this, you can too.

So what are you waiting for?

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

The first week after my last update I made some mistakes.  First it was the Mother’s Day dinner at our favorite vegan Thai restaurant.  I haven’t eaten there since my birthday last July, so it was high time.  But I definitely blew my points there.  Later in the week there was a buffet breakfast, a yummy but high fat raw meal with Matt Monarch and Angela Stokes, and then a raw potluck.  You should have seen me at the potluck, though.  I think I was the only person who had white space on her plate.  35 people came, and so did about 25 dishes!  I took 2 nori rolls that we brought, some corn salad, fruit salad, and thai slaw.  And I had a piece of raw chocolate pie.  If I wasn’t watching what I was doing, I could have easily eaten 3 times that amount, but I really reigned myself in.  At the end of that first week I weighed 197.2!  A week later I was at 195.6, so I know I had a really good second week.

I’m very comfortable with the Weight Watcher point plan now.  I’ve found a lot of things to eat that are low in points but provide high satiety.  Here’s an example of a typical day for me.

Breakfast:
3 slices of veggie bacon = 1.5 points
Apple (or other piece of fruit) = 1.5 point

Mid Morning Snack:
Carrot = 0 points

Lunch:
Amy’s Tamale Verde meal (black bean tamale and Spanish rice) = 6.5 points
2 low- fat, low-calorie vegan chocolate chip cookie = 1 points

4pm Snack:
4 vegan chicken nuggets with bbq sauce = 4 points
Cherries  = 1 point

Dinner:
Vegan BBQ Beef sandwich = 5 points
Corn Creole = 1.5 points

Dessert:
Fat free berry sorbet = 2 points

Total for the day: 24 points

I’ve found a wide variety of foods that work well for me.  Vegan hot dogs are only 1 point each.  The vegan bacon is only a half a point for one slice.  Fruit works well for snacks. And I found these fantastic vegan cookies from a local café that contain fruit puree instead of fat and sugar and they are amazing and extremely low in points.  I’m trying to incorporate more vegetables into the diet, and I’ve been doing more cooking, but I have quite a bit of room for improvement there.

I’m finally over my cough so I started going back to the gym.  I’ve been doing the elliptical machine for 30 minutes.  I have to start the weight training again.  For some reason I don’t want to, even though I remember how much I was enjoying it.  Maybe I feel like I’d have to start all over again after losing 4 weeks to illness.

On Weight Watchers you can get some extra food points for exercising, but I don’t take them because sometimes during the day I grab a few crackers or chips on my way back to my office, so I figure I’m using up my activity points with BLT’s (bite, lick, tastes) of random foods.

So, overall I’m happy, and I’m just going to keep right on going.  I’ll update again in 2 weeks.

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

I had friends who were religious.  My best friend, Frances, apparently belonged to a very religious Christian household.  Whenever one of her family members would leave the house they had to say, “Goodbye, I love you, and Mary and Jesus too” or something like that.  When I spent the night at her house, her mother made me say prayers.  I thought it was cute, but I had no idea who this God person was that I was supposedly talking to.  This was also a violent family.  The son was a vandal and arsonist, setting fire to the hill behind his house.  I watched from afar as his father whipped him with a belt to teach him a lesson.  Frances was often dragged by her hair down the stairs by her brother.  The father was a lawyer and was often called upon to keep his own son out of jail.

I remember one time my babysitter took us to her catechism class.  We got to paint pine cones and dip them in glitter.  I think we were making a Christmas tree ornament, but alas, no tree graced our home.  In fact, during  Christmas break from school my sister and I would often lament that all the stores were closed because of those Christians.  We were the ones going to the movie theatre and eating Chinese food on Christmas.

I got a vague understanding of who this God person was when my friends would talk about him.  They all seemed to think it was cool that we didn’t have to go to Church on Sunday, as they mostly thought it just wrecked their Sunday morning.  I remember asking my Christian friends why they believed there was a guy sitting on a throne up in the sky.  None of them gave me a particularly compelling answer.  Most said, “Because the bible tells me so” or “My parents told me there is a God so there must be.”

I am really grateful that I had parents who were not religious.  I never had to break free of religious indoctrination.  I never feared God or loved him.  I never feared going to Hell, which to me was this fictitious prison that bad Christians got sent to if they angered God.  Sometimes I was told that God was a loving God and sometimes he was furiously angry, wiping out entire civilizations on a whim.  The story was very confusing.  Being non-religious, I never felt like I was missing out on anything important.  It all seemed so silly to me to believe in some invisible guy who was constantly watching you to make sure you were good.  I thought that job belonged to Santa Claus. 

As I got older, some of my friends told me they feared for my soul because I wasn’t baptized.  They told me I was automatically going to go to Hell because I was not a Christian and did not believe in Jesus.  Honestly, that seemed sort of stupid to me.  I recall saying to one of them, “So if I am really loving and kind and good but not baptized, I go to Hell?  And someone else can be a murderer or pedophile and as long as he believes in Jesus, he gets to go to Heaven?”  They told me yes.  I’m sure it’s not as easy as that, right?  I said to these friends, “Why would you want to believe in a God that punished the good and let the bad into Heaven?”  They told me believing was not a choice but a commandment.  None of it made sense to me.

There was one thing I liked about religion.  Community.  There were a lot of Christians who seemed very kind and loving.  These were usually old ladies and they ran the church parking lot sales.  I met many Christians who were so kind, compassionate and caring.  People in the church took care of each other.  Families looked out for one another.  I thought that was kind of cool.  I asked my parents what would happen to us if we were ever destitute and poor and didn’t have the Church to take care of us.  They told me I didn’t need to worry about that, as we did quite well financially.  So I stopped worrying.

By the time I got to high school I assumed I was just an atheist.  I didn’t believe in God and that was the end of my story, or so I thought.  I found myself praying to God when I was in trouble.  I found myself making deals with Him all the time.  I hoped I was wrong about God because it sure felt comforting to think there was a kindly old guy looking out for me from above.  I couldn’t rationally convince myself that He existed, but when you’re in trouble, you’ll reach for any hand that might pull you out!  Still, I never saw any evidence that He existed. I figured if he was really there and all powerful like people said, that he surely knew I didn’t believe in Him and if He had an issue with it I was sure He would take it up with me personally.

I like how my mom puts it, “I don’t believe in God but I’m afraid to say that out loud in case He gets mad at me.”  Lordy. 

As I matured I realized that religion is man’s way of trying to interpret the divine presence inside all of us, of trying to make sense of the memories we retain even after the veil is drawn and we are left here, seemingly disconnected from Source.  I reconnected with Source on my own.  I explored the divine inside of me and found God staring back.  I began to remember where I came from, where we ALL come from.  And I began to see how we are all connected, simply projections of Source incarnated into outwardly disparate bodies.  I didn’t have this realization in a church, and I didn’t read about it in a book.  I felt it.  I remembered it.  I stopped cutting myself off from Source and Source came back to me.

Today I know there is a God, but God is not some man sitting on a throne pointing his finger at us in judgment.  God is what’s gazing back at you when you look in the mirror.  Which aspect of Him are you?  Are you His compassion?  His love?  Or are you His anger?  His judgment?  His intolerance?

I’m glad I grew up without a religion.  It left me free to find God on my own, in my own way, and in my own time.  I doubt I will ever be religious.  I find it unnecessary.  God is either in your heart or not there at all.  You either carry Him with you all the time, or cut yourself off from Him.  Have you found the divine presence yet?  Can you remember where you came from and where you will return?  Does God reside in your church, or in a book, or is he sitting quietly in your heart, waiting for you to notice Him?

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.

Answer:  I get variations of this question a lot.  It’s normal to want contact from people who have recently crossed over.  You want to make sure they’re okay, that they didn’t suffer, and you want to know they are still connected to you.  There are several reasons why you may not hear from them so fast, if ever.

First, you have to be an open conduit.  If someone is calling your cell phone and you’ve got it turned off, whose fault is that?  If you want to receive communication from deceased loved ones you’ll have to be open to it.  That means paying attention to your dreams, watching for signs that were unique to them, and being open to a clairvoyant, clairaudient, or clairsentient message from them.  If you associate your boyfriend with a certain song, maybe you’ll hear it on the radio at the same time you’re already thinking about him.  Maybe you’ll smell gardenias when none are around and you equate this to your grandmother.  In short, maybe communication is there and you’re just not picking up on it.

Second, maybe they want to contact you but can’t.  Reaching the other side isn’t a one way ticket to omniscience.  People don’t suddenly become god-like on the other side.  Some spirits are unable to make contact with the living.  Sometimes they need help.  Other, stronger spirits, can sometimes bring through a deceased relative who can’t come through on their own.  Or your spirit guides can at least relay messages between you two.  Again, you’ll have to watch for communication from many different channels and methods.  Over time a spirit can learn to reach back to the living, which requires altering their frequency, and that isn’t an automatic skill.

Thirdly, maybe they don’t want to communicate with you.  Sometimes when I do readings a bunch of people from one family will come through, but someone will be conspicuously absent.  I am sometimes told that that person has already “moved on” and is no longer feeling an emotional connection with family they left behind.  Sometimes, I get a mother who will talk to my sitter and then leave before the father comes through.  Usually that means they were separated or divorced (or hated each other) while alive, and they are not wanting to come through together.

Fourth, maybe you are blocking the communication with your emotions.  Sometimes when a person dies the people they leave behind are angry.  It’s hard for a spirit to come through anger.  People can inadvertently block communication with a spirit if they’re feeling angry or too upset.  When you settle down you might find the spirit was there all along.

Some people are better able to pick up on deceased energy.  So if you don’t hear from your boyfriend it doesn’t mean he isn’t connected to you.  Give it time, patience and love.  Concentrate on his energy.  Hold a photo or something dear to him.  Ask him to come to you and tell him you will be open to the signs, signals, and synchronicities that work best for him.

Sometimes it can be hard to know if you’re really receiving communication from deceased loved ones or if it’s all in your head.  That’s one reason why going to mediums is excellent because they don’t know anything about you or the deceased person.  So if a medium starts telling you about your first date with the deceased or something equally private, it will give you greater confidence that your loved one is really there on the other side.  I once did a reading for a guy and his grandmother came through. Her first words to him were “Don’t worry.”  That was significant for him because those were apparently the final two words she spoke on her death bed and only he, his father, and his dying grandmother were present to hear it.  But if he had tuned in to her on his own and heard “don’t worry” in his mind, that may not have been enough proof for him to believe he was really communicating with her. 

Even professional mediums can wait months or even years to get definitive communication from their loved ones on the other side.  Which just goes to show that if you’re sitting there waiting by your phone you still may not get a call.  Go live your life, watch for signs and communication, keep sending them love, but try not to be terribly upset if you don’t dream about them right away.  These things take time.

© 2009 by Erin Pavlina.