How to Help Someone you Love When They are Hurting

What can we do when someone we love is going through a really hard time or even a dark night of the soul? Even though you care dearly for your loved one, you have to be careful not to make their turmoil about you.

Here are some suggestions for healthy ways to support someone during a painful period in their lives.

Give them space
Back off from making demands on their time or energy. Give them the space and freedom to sort through their feelings and beliefs. Don’t interrupt their process by putting too many demands on them. Let them be for a little while.

Give them acceptance
Don’t judge them. Someone who is going through a healing process may act in ways you don’t particularly like. Let them explore who they want to be and accept that it is their choice and their free will. Remind them that they will have to live with the consequences of their actions, but don’t tell them how to feel or think or how to behave, even when you desperately want to.

Help them see options
Sometimes people are lost and they are looking for the beacon they can follow back to the light. Be a beacon for them without grabbing them and moving them onto a path you want them to be on. Help them sort through their options without needing or requiring them to behave a certain way. Sometimes people can’t see their way out of the darkness and if you stand there and hold the light, they will come to it. But don’t jump in the water to save the drowning victim. You’ll get pulled under. Just let them know you’ll be there with a helping hand when they’re ready to move forward.

Get help from the other side
Talk to the person’s higher self. See if you can get guidance from their higher self about what they are going through or how to help them. Often you can get this information from the person’s guides or higher self or angels, even when the person themselves has no idea how to heal. Some people are unable to connect to their own guides when they need help. If you are skilled with intuition, you can make the connection for them. Or you can book a session with me and I’ll find out from their guides how you can best help.

Ask them what they need
Instead of giving them what you would want in their position, actually ask them how they would like to be supported. “How would you like to be supported right now?” is a beautiful question. Some people might simply say, “It’s enough to know you care.” Or they might say, “I really need help with the kids right now so I can have some time to think or get away.” You won’t know until you ask.

Help them find gratitude
Help them raise their vibration if you can. Get them to see what they have to be grateful for. Take them out someplace where they can practice kindness towards others. Often that’s a catalyst for coming out of their own dark place.

Always be gentle when someone is going through a hard time. Sometimes this can last a long while. Be there for your loved one, but don’t allow a toxic situation to persist. Guard your energy while you’re helping others.

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