So in this paradigm, anything and everything in your environment affects you, some positively and some negatively. He talked about ways to reduce the negative energies and pull in more of the positive energies.

Immediately I was struck by how important it is to surround ourselves with the people, places, and things that make us feel good, and to try to remove as much of the people, places, and things that negatively impact our energy or cause us to feel bad.

For example, if you’re going to a job you hate, every single day, you’ll likely notice your energy is drained. You may even dread going to work. On the other hand, if you’re going to a job you love with coworkers you adore, you’re going to get a lot of joy and positive energy out of going to work every day. It will be an uplifting experience.

Or if you have a stagnant relationship or you’re having difficulties in your relationship you’ll start to notice that you dread coming home to your partner. That’s a drain. But if you have a super loving relationship with a super compatible person, you’ll derive great positive energy from interacting with them.

If you make a list of all the people, places, and things that impact you and then you make a quick evaluation about their effect on you, you’ll get a good idea of what’s bringing you down and what’s raising your vibration. Then you can take conscious action to improve a negative relationship or situation, or eliminate it if it can’t be altered.

When I looked at my connections, they were 90% positive. There are very few things bringing me down in life right now. Literally the biggest “bummers” in my life right now are a malfunctioning dishwasher, carpets I can’t seem to get clean, and a housekeeper that causes me more aggravation than I’d like. In the near future, I will take the steps necessary to correct these situations so I can move throughout my day without constant aggravation.

But the other aspect of the Love principle is more proactive. Who or what would you like to connect with more? Is there anything missing from your life that you’d like to add that would uplift you or raise your vibration even higher? At the workshop, we made a list of what else we’d like to attract into our lives that we know would make us feel more loved and loving.

For me, it was two things. I’d like to attract a loving relationship with a partner. It’s been 2 years since I separated from Steve and I’ve been really enjoying being single. It’s filled me with a sense of independence and freedom I can’t ever remember having. But now I feel ready to enter into a new relationship with a loving partner. So I wrote that down as something I’m ready to attract.

The second thing I wanted to attract was more involvement in providing emergency services during disasters. If you’ve been connecting with me on Facebook or through the forums, you’ll know I have a passion for emergency preparedness and being able to assist my community or individuals in times of disaster.

And so it was, on Day 2 of CGW I could not attend because I was signed up for the Red Cross Class: Chapter Response to Disaster, which is the prerequisite course I needed to take in order to be certified to respond to a disaster on behalf of the Red Cross. When I got to the classroom there were 12 other students there ready to take the course. The instructor had us introduce ourselves, our background, and share why we were taking the class. It was at this time I completely internalized and understood the power of the principle of Love.

Every single person in that room was there because they wanted to help their fellow man. Every person in there had a day job or was retired, and simply wanted to give back to their community. They were compassionate, caring, and selfless. I had never been in a room full of people so dedicated to helping others, for free, on their own time. It literally sent a wave of love chills up my back to be surrounded by others all committed to the same thing I was.

So that’s when I realized how much I’d been missing this vital connection in my life. While I sat there chatting with everyone, I realized they just got me. They completely understood my love and desire to help others, to provide comfort and relief to those suffering. I didn’t have to explain it or justify it. We were all on the same wavelength. It felt fantastic.

I felt something similar when I attended the I Can Do It conference put on by Hay House. It was like finding my tribe. I didn’t have to explain about being intuitive. Everyone there was completely comfortable with the concept. There was no explaining or defending or shying away from discussing things like chakras, astral projection, and the paranormal.

Do you surround yourself with people who plug into the aspects of your life that you care about the most? Do you have people around you who mirror, reflect, or share the passions you also have? What does it feel like?

Or are you surrounded by people who just don’t get you? How does THAT feel?

If you love the wilderness, do you go hiking with others who share that love? If you love cooking, do you surround yourself with others who love to cook and co-create something together? If you love skiing, do you belong to a ski club or group? Do you love a certain tv show? Do you have someone you can talk to after the show airs, someone who shares your passion and can talk about the characters and plot for days without getting bored?

When you bring loving connections into your life, it just makes your life better. You’re more fulfilled, you’re understood, and you get to share your passion with others who get it.

I hope you have a ton of these passionate connections. If you don’t, I urge you to try to bring them into your life. Make a list of your passions, hobbies, desires. Then figure out where or how you could connect with others who share your hobbies. You’ll be amazed at the joy it brings you, and how much more fun your life becomes.

Recently I received an email from a reader who had a beautiful story to tell that illustrates what happens when you are guided by connection instead of separation. He gave me permission to share it with you.

“I just wanted to tell you that your article for Martin Luther King Day, I Have a Dream Too, was very touching and I wanted to share a little story on how I did something today that I would have never done if I had not read your articles over the past couple of weeks.

Then I said goodbye and went on my way. But from you I realize that God or Source is in all of us. We choose everyday how we are going to act in a situation. If it was not for me reading your articles saying to give money to the homeless when in need I would have walked right past him. I felt really good about what I did today. And whenever someone on the street asks me for change, I always give what change I have even though I am a student and not wealthy. I do this simply because I am grateful for what I do have, and giving spare change to someone in need does not hurt me and it will help them. So, again thank you for all of your articles. You have changed who I am in a short period of time and I am really grateful! Take care!” – D

“You must have God in you.” What does that mean? What did he see? Compassion, care, connection, a generous heart, and a sympathetic spirit. How do you feel when you reconnect with the God-ness in you? When you help others it raises your vibration. It elevates you to a state of compassion, gratitude, and love. When you can gift those feelings to another the love is magnified. How do you think the homeless man felt as he went on about his day? He probably felt loved, cared for, and like he mattered. And he probably paid it forward throughout the rest of his day.

Do something today that reconnects you to Source. Connect with another tendril. Give love, express compassion, offer empathy and understanding. We might look like we’re going through life as individuals, but we’re actually all connected. When you help others, you’re really helping yourself.

Whenever something really cool happened to Melissa I remember saying in my mind, “I wish I was Melissa.  Her life is so much better than mine.”  These thoughts continued for a long time and repeated every time Melissa was happy or excited and I wasn’t.  Then one day something different happened.  Melissa came to school excited because she and her family were going to take a road trip to the Grand Canyon.  Instantly, the green-eyed monster of jealousy reared her ugly head, “Darnit, I wish I was Melissa!”  But this time a voice in the back of my mind replied and said, “No you don’t.  You wish you were going to the Grand Canyon.  There’s a difference.”  Pardon me? I thought.  Who’s talking?

I continued my dialogue with this new voice.  “But Melissa is so lucky.  Her parents take her everywhere!”  The voice said, “You didn’t think Melissa was so lucky when her mom cancelled trick-or-treating because she hurt her little sister.”  “True,” I conceded, “that really sucked for her.” 

The voice continued, “You didn’t wish you were Melissa when you found out her mom makes her go to bed at 9pm and you get to stay up until 10pm.”  “That’s true too,” I thought back.

Then the voice said, “Melissa’s life is no more perfect than yours.  Stop desiring to be her and simply acknowledge that sometimes Melissa is going to enjoy things that you don’t get to do or have.  Why don’t you just be happy for her?”

I silenced the voice at that point.  It was starting to bug me because it was starting to make sense.  The next time something great happened to Melissa I didn’t have the same ugly reaction.  Instead of wanting to be Melissa, I was able to just tap into my real feelings.  “Melissa must be really excited.  I would be really excited if that was happening to me.”  And I could leave it at that.  I wasn’t at the point where I could be truly happy that Melissa was getting something I wasn’t, but at least I was at a point of understanding and empathizing with her excitement.

As I got older and more aware I started to tap into the feeling that we are all One.  We’re all connected, we’re all part of the same body of humanity.  We’re all pieces of Consciousness.  This brought on feelings of connection, empathy, love, and compassion with all living things on Earth.  When someone was in pain, I felt sad.  When someone was excited, I felt happy.  It was easy for me to tap into a person’s energy and feel what they were feeling.  I started to really appreciate all the experiences other people were having that I wasn’t able to have.  I began to see other people as pieces to a vast puzzle of which I was just a small but integral part. Whenever I encountered someone I would think, “Ah, there goes the piece of me that is a male high school football player.  And over there is the piece of me who is having the experience of being a cheerleader.  And the other day I ran into the part of me that is living homeless on the street.”  I began to feel great compassion for the pieces of me that were obviously suffering, and I began to feel great excitement for the pieces of me who were millionaires or celebrities or highly successful.  But the thing is I felt like they were all part of me.  Their success was my success.  Their suffering was my suffering.

Once this shift happened I was able to feel completely and totally happy for other people’s joys even when I wasn’t experiencing them in my own life.  And I also felt complete and total compassion for those who were suffering when I wasn’t.  When a friend would share good news, I could honestly feel happy for them.  The jealousy wasn’t there.  It would be silly to feel jealous of yourself right?  And that’s how I thought of everyone … as pieces of me.  I can’t possibly experience every single thing that life has to offer.  I’ll never have grown up in Poland.  I’ll never have been a little boy.  But out there, other people have, and I can share their experience through my sense of Oneness.

Today I don’t have to say, “Darnit, I wish I was Melissa” because I’ve learned that I am Melissa.  Some part of me went to the Grand Canyon on a road trip when I was a kid. 

When you feel jealous of other people’s successes you’re just disconnecting from the collective consciousness.  Share in their joy instead.  And when something bad happens to someone else and you think, “Thank God that wasn’t me,” stop yourself, because it was you.  Send compassion and love to those around you who are suffering, as you would want them to do for you.

When you are comfortable with who you are and what you have, you’ll stop being jealous of others’ successes and rewards.  I have some friends who are genuinely happy for me when I share good news, and I have other friends who get quiet and can’t even muster an “oh, goodie goodie gum drops for you.”  It’s not the news itself that causes this reaction, otherwise I’d get the same reaction from everyone.  Invariably, the people who aren’t happy with their lives just can’t seem to be happy for me when something great happens, and the people who are happy with who they are and what they have are always excited for me.  Which kind of friends do you have?

More importantly, which type of friend are you?

Empathy is the ability to identify or sense what another person is feeling.  It’s like seeing through someone else’s eyes.  Empathy should not be confused with compassion, which is the desire to alleviate the suffering of another, and sometimes contains empathy, but really goes beyond it.  You can act compassionately even when you do not empathize with a person’s emotional state or situation.

Some people are naturally empathic, but it’s a skill that can be developed with practice.  Here are 5 steps you can take that will lead to greater empathy:

1.  Listen intently to others
Do you ever find yourself in an interesting or heated conversation and all you’re doing is thinking about what you’re going to say next without really hearing what the other person is saying?  If you’re not listening, how can you understand their points?  And if you’re not listening to them, there’s a real good chance they’re not listening to you!  The next time you find yourself in a conversation with someone, listen intently.  Quiet the chatter in your own mind and really listen to what the other person is saying.  You might hear something you would normally have missed.  Don’t decide in advance what you’re going to say.  Just listen.  When you do this, you’ll begin picking up feelings and emotions from the person talking which will help you understand them better.  Then when you respond, you’re coming from a place of understanding.

2.  Imitate body language
Many years ago Steve and I went to a Tony Robbins Firewalk seminar.  During one portion we had to break into groups of three.  I found myself paired up with two men I’d never met.  Person A was supposed to think of a time in their lives when they were having a strong emotional reaction.  They were then supposed to get into that state again.  Person B was supposed to exactly model Person A’s physiology.  And Person C was there to make sure that Person A and Person B were a total match down to eyelids twitching or blinking.  So in our case, Person A got into a state and I had to model his physiology.  One of my legs was jumping up and down, my breathing was fast, and my hands were clawing at my legs.  Once Person C said we were a match I was supposed to say what emotion I was feeling.  I said, “I feel really nervous right now.  In fact, I feel like I’m about to jump out of an airplane.”  Person A exclaimed, “Oh my God!  That’s the exact memory I was thinking of.  The first time I jumped out of an airplane.”  Not only did I pick up on his emotion correctly, I knew the exact memory he was having.  Total stranger.  Picked it right out of his brain, or I should say, his physiology.

So what do you think would happen if you modeled or imitated the physiology of the person you’re talking to?  Right!  You will understand them better, you may even discover you have telepathy. :) Modeling the physiology of other people will increase your empathy.

3.  Put yourself in their shoes
One of the best ways to increase your empathy is to imagine what life is like in someone else’s shoes.  Most people won’t go to the trouble, but if you can imagine what someone else might be going through, it will increase your level of empathy by a huge factor.  The next time you’re with someone who is going through a rough time, or even a really exciting time, take a moment to get out of your own head and imagine what they’re feeling.  Then ask them if that’s how they’re feeling.  “Hey Johnny, I heard you lost your job.  I imagine you’re feeling a depressed and anxious, right?”  Or, “Sophia, congratulations on becoming a grandmother.  You must be feeling excited!”  See what she says.

You can do this with total strangers too.  Ever witness a car accident and think, “Glad that wasn’t me,” or “I can’t be late for work so I hope they clear this out of the way fast!”  That’s not empathy.  Next time take a moment to imagine what the people involved in the accident are feeling.  “Wow, I’ll bet that person is really shaken up.  I hope he’s alright.”  Spare a thought for your fellow man.  But for the grace of God, it could have been you.  If you offer help, that’s compassion, or what I like to think of as empathy in action.

4.  Show understanding
Think about the last time you felt totally and completely understood by someone.  Feels good doesn’t it?  Return the favor.  The next time a friend, child, or your partner is telling you about something that happened to them show that you are listening by repeating back what you heard.  “So what you’re telling me is that you feel lonely when I go out every weekend with the boys and you want me to spend more time with you.  Is that right?”  This is also called empathic listening.  It works great in an argument.  The next time you’re fighting with someone listen to what they’re saying, don’t interrupt, and then repeat back to them your understanding of what they just said.  I cannot tell you how powerful this is.  Refrain from making your own point until your partner indicates he or she feels completely understood.  They’ll be more willing to hear you speak when you’ve shown you’re willing to understand their point of view first.

5.  Expand your awareness
You don’t live in a bubble, even though sometimes it might feel like it.  The world doesn’t revolve around you either.  You’re sharing it with billions of people.  Expand your awareness of what other people are doing.  For fun sit down in a crowded place like a movie theater, mall, bookstore, etc. and do some people-watching.  You’ll see people who are in a hurry, people arguing with each other, people who are worried, teen boys checking out teen girls, and all manner of behavior.  See if you can discern what’s going on. 

I’ve often had interesting conversations with strangers when I see them struggling with something (or someone), or if I see them doing something I can totally relate to.  I remember standing in my favorite vegetarian restaurant in Los Angeles one time and I saw a guy drinking a chocolate shake.  Like I’d known him for years I said, “Oh, is that one of those non-dairy chocolate shakes you got there?  Those are the best aren’t they?”  He smiled and said, “Yeah, they’re sooo good.  You should get one.”  To which I replied, “Yeah, maybe I will.  But I also love their fruit tart so I gotta pick my poison, know what I mean?”  He said, “Yeah, their chocolate and vanilla swirl cake is also really good.  But I love the shakes too.”  Not a terribly meaningful conversation but a connection was made.  He wandered around the store a bit and eventually came back to me and asked me out.  I told him I was married and off he went. 

This sort of interaction comes very naturally to me.  Don’t be afraid to say something to a total stranger if you can sense they’ll be receptive to a conversation.  I find the best way to treat people is as if we’ve known each other for a long time.  I know it seems odd to approach a total stranger like this, but it works.  People want to connect.  People want to feel understood.  People like friendly people.  Be friendly people.

Increase your empathy and you increase your power and love.  Feel at one with your fellow man.  I think most people want to be empathized with.  When you show you understand someone’s feelings you honor their human experience, and they’re more likely to honor yours.