Answer: It can be super frustrating to desire to connect with a specific deceased relative and they never seem to show up to the party.

I recall reading for a gal and her dad was coming through really strongly. He told me his name, gave her some validation, and we were off and running. My client said, “Yeah, that’s my dad. He comes to every reading. He’s around all the time.” Meanwhile, she was frustrated because she also wanted to hear from her mother who never seemed to come through.

Why do some spirits always show up and others never come? There could be several reasons.

First, the deceased person may not want to come through. For whatever reason, they may simply not desire to communicate. That doesn’t mean they hate you. That doesn’t mean they can’t come through. That doesn’t mean they aren’t watching over you. Perhaps they don’t want to interfere in the course of your life. Perhaps they trust that you can get along without their guidance or interruption.

Second, the deceased person may not be able to come through. Deceased people don’t get to the other side suddenly able to speak energetically to a living person. It takes energy and finesse to communicate with the living. Your deceased loved one may not have figured it out yet. Give them time.

Third, the deceased may have disconnected. Some people cross over and are fully engaged with their new existence in the ether. They disconnect their energy from their old life and are simply done. They turn their attention in an entirely new direction. Don’t be insulted. You’ll understand when you reach the ether yourself that sometimes you stay emotionally connected with the living and sometimes you don’t.

Fourth, the deceased may be there but no one is hearing them. Sometimes the dead are jumping up and down around us, trying to get our attention, but we don’t detect them. It’s not easy. If it was easy, everyone would be doing it. Sometimes the medium is unable to get the right frequency. Sometimes the dead person is not transmitting in a way that the medium can pick up. If the medium is very clairsentient but the dead person is transmitting in a clairvoyant way, then the medium may be unable to detect the presence of the dead person. Keep trying with different mediums, or keep trying on your own.

I know it can feel very sad if you’re trying to get closure or reconnect with a loved one and they don’t seem to be there, but you don’t want to expend so much energy trying to communicate with a deceased loved one that you stop living your own life. This is why it’s vitally important to tell your loved ones how much you love them while they are still here.

In the meantime, send love to your dearly departed. They will receive it. Take comfort in knowing they are alright and that you’ll see them again when you reach the other side.

You hear a lot about near death experiences from the people who have experienced them, but you never get to hear what happens after you’ve been “processed” and are completely disconnected from your body because obviously they don’t come back and tell us.  The only way to find out would be through psychic mediums who ask dead people what they do all day.  Even then, we’d have no proof, no way of checking if the information we’re receiving is accurate.  We’d have no way of validating the information that came through.  It’s easy to validate information from a person’s life, but how can you get confirmation of what happens when no one living is around to see it?

When I speak to deceased people during readings I do get a glimpse into what’s happening on the other side, but admittedly the view is extremely limited.  I’ll share what I know, but this must only be the tip of the iceberg.

When I do a reading, I usually get who the person is in relation to my sitter, then they show or tell me how they died, then they start sharing information about their life to validate that it is really them and not something I’m making up.  They share love, warnings if necessary, and that’s usually it.  However, upon occasion I’ve gotten a little more information that goes beyond the usual.

In one reading, a father came through for his daughter and his signal was very strong to me.  His energy was that of a highly aware, highly conscious person.  I was impressed with him and his connection strength.  When the reading was over, I actually hung on to the guy a little longer to converse with him myself because the connection was so strong and I wanted to talk to him.  He indicated that he was attending what we would call lectures on the other side.  And that he spent his day discussing philosophy with other souls on the other side.  He indicated that it was wonderful, stimulating, and he was surprised to find it available.  I got a sense that he was definitely continuing his growth and wasn’t just sitting around like a blob of energy floating through the ether.

In another reading, I was connected with an individual who had died at a pretty old age, I think he was in his 90′s.  He indicated to me that he was still very  much tuned in to the lives of the family members he’d left behind.  He showed me an image of himself sitting in front of what looked like a television and watching his various family members on different channels.  Now he wasn’t really sitting in front of a television, it was a metaphor to explain to me what he was doing.  But yeah, he indicated he spent his days still very tuned in to his family.

I’ve also tuned in to dead people who can’t let go of their past incarnation and are going over and over it, replaying it with different outcomes.  Often these are people who have committed suicide or been murdered and their killer has not been brought to justice yet.

I also know that there are spirits who are in charge of making certain things work, like helping people cross over, helping creative people get inspiration, and helping souls choose where to incarnate next.  I’ve seen conclaves of what I would call ascended masters working on creating change on our planet using their energetic influence and intelligence.

I know that you can hang around with other souls you used to know.  I’ve seen families on the other side “having dinner” together.  And I know you can engage in an energy merge that blows incarnated sex right out of the water! 

And that’s about all I’ve seen.  Admittedly, it’s not that much.  Like I said, I am sure there is a lot more going on up there than I can see.  Maybe I’ll start looking into this more consciously.  Next time I get someone “on the line” who’s hanging out in the ether I’ll ask them what they do all day.  I’m sure they don’t even have “days” like we have.  And I’m sure time is irrelevant there.  Being dead is just another state of being. 

Maybe we’re not supposed to know too much about the afterlife so we can concentrate on living this one.  For now, it’s enough for me to know that I have guides and angels looking out for my best interests, and I get to chat with the occasional deceased person which is always fun and interesting for me.  We’ll just have to wait and see what happens next.