Answer: If a deceased person is coming to you in your dream and showing you what really happened to them the day they passed away you should pay careful attention, as it could very well be true.

First you need to determine if you are really having communication with a deceased loved one.

Next, does their version seem plausible? If so, you’re probably get correct information.

Lastly, you may need to act on the information you get. Especially if the person was murdered or if there were extenuating circumstances. Sometimes spirits reveal they committed suicide when it really seemed like an accident. And sometimes the reverse is true.

Spirits who are not at rest or who have unfinished business or who are seeking justice will often send dreams to their loved ones in an attempt to notify them of the truth. So definitely pay attention and take those dreams seriously.

I’ve had several personal experiences and professional experiences where new information came through that turned out to be correct once tracked down and investigated. So it’s definitely possible, and in many cases, likely.

Answer: If I had a dime for every strange symbol I saw on my walls, I’d have … a dollar.

I’ve had many experiences where I’ve seen something going on in my room after I wake up. Sometimes it’s a carryover from a dream experience I’ve just had, and sometimes it seems to be its own distinct disturbance.

It can be hard to tell where it’s coming from or what it means, but when it happens to me, I tend to not worry too much about the source and simply try to figure out if there’s a message and if it’s meaningful or not.

Sometimes I have determined it’s just a carryover from a dream and of no real consequence. But sometimes I have determined that it’s a message with great meaning.

Unfortunately there’s not much you can do except try to fathom the meaning of the message. Use your intuition to figure out why you’re seeing what you’re seeing. Does it feel dangerous? Conscious? Is it something that needs interpretation like a dream? Is it connected to something going on in your life? Is it contact from the other side? Is it a demonic threat?

In order to help you properly, I’d need to know what you were dreaming before it happened, your level of consciousness in the dream, who else or what else was in the dream with you, how many times you’ve had the experience, and whether your dream also contained these lights and symbols.

When I’m confused about something that’s happening to me I tell the universe, my guides, or the entity behind the phenomenon to find another way to get me the message. Usually they can.

Good luck!

Use Secondary Factors
Sometimes you can’t compare the dreams directly. They’re both just too good. They are both something you’ve always wanted to do. So move on to secondary factors. Make a list of the other factors you want in your life, and compare the dreams to those. Here is an example:

Dream 1: Start an online magazine on your favorite topic
Dream 2: Lead exotic excursions to other countries

Make a list of the secondary factors that are important to you. For example:

• Income potential
• Free Time
• Fun
• Opportunities for Growth
• Networking with interesting people
• Easy to start now
• Inexpensive to run

Then rate each dream on these secondary factors on a scale of 1 – 10. If there is a certain secondary factor that is a lot more important than the others, (i.e. it has to be fun), then give that factor more weight, like multiply it by 2. Tally up the points at the end and see which of your dreams provides the highest score on your secondary factors.

It doesn’t mean one dream is better than another, or more exciting than the other, just that based on the secondary factors, one will provide the whole package better than the other.

Do One First and Then the Other
It’s okay to have more than one dream in life, and it’s okay to follow your dreams in succession. Look at your two dreams and see if there is one that you can do now while saving the other one for later. Maybe now’s the time to start an online magazine on your favorite topic, and once that’s earning a high income and is on autopilot, you could segue into leading exotic excursions to other countries.

Or perhaps you could have your life of adventure while you’re still young enough to climb machu picchu, and then settle down and run an online magazine from home.

There’s no law that says you can only follow one dream in life.

Combine Your Dreams
Maybe you can have your cake and eat it too. Maybe there’s a way to combine your dreams. To continue with our example, what if you started an online magazine about exotic travel locations, and took people on excursions then wrote about them for your magazine? In that case, you could fulfill both your dreams simultaneously. You could even hire other writers to contribute articles about their favorite exotic locations, and you could plan events in unusual places where your readers could meet.

I successfully combined two of my dreams: helping and counseling others, and the paranormal. I got my degree in psychology but didn’t want to use classic counseling techniques. My intuitive abilities and love of the paranormal gave me the ability to provide intuitive counseling which is a much faster and more effective method of helping others. I found a way to merge my two desires into one career.

Trust Your Feelings
Tune in to your intuition. What does your gut tell you? First imagine you’ve decided on one of your dreams. Imagine what it’s like to actually be living that dream. Does it feel good? Or is there something about the dream that doesn’t feel right? Now tune in to the other dream. Feel it. Try it on for size. Imagine you are already doing it. How does it feel? See if one dream feels better than the other.

Also check to see where you feel relief and where you feel regret. Imagine someone came along and said, “You must choose Dream A.” Do you feel relieved and happy or do you feel sad and regretful about losing the other dream? Then imagine someone said, “You must choose Dream B.” Relief or regret? Sometimes our gut knows better than our mind.

By the time you choose your dream it should feel fantastic. You should have no misgivings or regrets about the path you’re choosing. It should even be high on secondary factors. It should excite and motivate you. If it doesn’t, then maybe it’s not the dream you thought it was. Think of what else you’ve always wanted to achieve or do and run it through these filters again.

Once you’ve got your dream in mind, run with it. Don’t stop until you’ve achieved it. Enjoy the process, and enjoy the success! If joy on your path ever begins to wane, find a new dream and take a new path. Keep following your dreams and you will be happy!

This week’s question comes from Jen. The question is:
I have very repetitive, exhaustive dreams that leave me drained during the day. I have them every night and when I wake up I feel like I’ve been gone for a month. Do you have any advice on what I can do to fix this or at least understand why they happen?

Jen, here is your answer…

Here is a transcription of the video:

Hello everyone and welcome to the “Ask Erin Pavlina” YouTube series. Today’s question comes from Jen, and she writes: “I have very repetitive, exhaustive dreams that leave me drained during the day. I have them every night and when I wake up I feel like I’ve been gone for a month. Do you have any idea of what I can do to fix this or at least understand why this happens?”

Well, Jen, you are definitely not alone. I know there are a lot of people out there who have very intense dreams, and when they wake up in the morning they feel like they have been working or busy or running around active all night, including me. I’ll tell you why this happens. It could be one of a couple of reasons. At night our subconscious mind attempts to alert us and make us aware of things we may not be aware of consciously. So, most people would say, that if you’re having very intense dreams at night, it’s your subconsciousness’ way of trying to get your attention and alert you to something that’s going on in your life that you should be aware of and perhaps take action on. If you’re not aware of this during the day it’s going to come out in your dreams.

Now, there’s another explanation, which may or may not apply to you, I didn’t get a lot of information from your question, but let’s assume. Often I see this happen among people who are very intuitive and who are lightworkers. What’s happening is at night you are being instructed and trained by spirit guides or other helpers from the other side who are attempting to help you develop, learn, and remember what you’re supposed to remember so you can help other people while you’re awake. This is the sort of thing that happened to me when I was growing up. I would have dreams that my spirit guides would come to me and give me instruction, they would give me training. They would put me through lessons and tests, and it was very exhausting because you are expending a lot of energy. You’re expending a lot of your conscious energy. So, in the morning, you feel like you’ve gotten no sleep and you feel like you’ve been running around all night.

The solution is really the same. During the day is when you want to communicate with your subconscious and with your spirit guides so that they don’t have to pull you aside at night and hijack your regular dream situation and your restful sleep in order to teach you something.

So my recommendation: If you are in this situation, spend a little time each day in meditation. Either connecting with your subconscious mind or connecting with your spirit guides – depending on what’s going on with you and the reason that you’re having these intense dreams. So, if this is happening to you pay attention during the day to what the universe is trying to get your attention about. If you can take action on that sort of thing during the day, you’ll have more restful sleep at night. Also, you are allowed to tell the universe, the dream guides, your spirit guides that you need a little break, so before you go to bed, tell them “Look, I don’t want any training tonight. I don’t want any communication, just let me have regular, normal dreams and a restful night.” And they should listen. So if you’re listening during the day, they will leave you alone at night. Good luck.

I received permission from my friend to share this story however I have changed the names to protect their privacy.  All details except the names are true.

In the dream there were four scenes.  In the first scene I was hanging out with my friend Anna and her family.  They were preparing to have a family portrait taken.  Her son and his wife and kids had flown in from out of town so finally everyone was together.  While we all waited, Anna’s daughter, Samantha, decided at the last minute that she didn’t want to take part in the family photo and walked off in a huff.  Anna was really upset as it had taken a lot of effort to set this up and her daughter was basically ruining it for everyone.  As she ran off to convince her daughter to pose in the photo I made a comment to Anna’s son, “Does this happen often?” to which he replied, “Only when Samantha’s involved.” 

Now the second sequence in the dream:  While waiting for Anna and her family to resolve their family issues, I went to visit my mom who was throwing a party.  At the party she was spending so much time talking to all her friends that she actually missed out on eating.  She was hungry so she kept asking the wait staff if they could please bring her meal back out.

Third sequence:  Now I’m back with Anna’s family and I see her son sitting with a friend who I knew was 22 years old.  The friend hit on me and I said, “You know I’m 47 right?”  Then I realized I wasn’t actually 47 so I said, “No wait, actually I’m 38 (my true age).”  He replied in a slightly lecherous tone, “Doesn’t bother me one bit!  I like older women and you’ve got quite a rack.”  I was insulted and flattered at the same time.   Anna’s son is actually in his mid-20′s but in the dream I knew he was still in the Air Force academy and that he and his friend were 22.

Fourth sequence:  I decide it’s time for me to go and Anna’s husband Richard says he’ll walk me to my car.  While we were walking the scene changed a little and I now I’m in the desert with Richard and some military types.  I’m in a secret underground military base in the desert and I’m seeing things I’m sure I’m not supposed to see.  Civilians in makeshift prisons, small spindly humanoid creatures running around, and some bug-like creatures that were pretty scary looking.  Richard comes up to me and says, “Look, you really weren’t supposed to see any of this, you don’t have the clearance.  They’re going to detain and debrief you for 24 hours and then they’re going to make you sign this non-disclosure confidentiality agreement.  If you refuse to sign it, they’ll keep you here until you do so you might as well sign it and get on with your life.  They’ll give you lie detector tests periodically to make sure you haven’t said anything to anyone about what you’ve seen here.  If you do, you’ll be charged with treason.  Trust me, they’re serious so I suggest you just sign it.”

I woke up.  The whole dream left me feeling really odd.  I felt like I was witnessing things that were really not my business.

So that morning I’m driving the kids to school and my daughter is on the phone with Grammy, my mom.  I can hear Grammy say, “Oh Emily, I had the strangest dream last night.  I dreamed I was at this party and I spent so much time talking to my friends that I missed the meal service.  I spent the rest of the dream trying to find some food.”  WHAT!?  I grabbed the phone and got the story directly.  She dreamed what I saw her doing… trying to find food at the party and missing out because she was talking too much.  That was too weird.  That’s a shared dream. 

So I call my friend Anna to discuss the other pieces of the dream.  To my great shock she told me that the first sequence with the photography fiasco actually happened a couple of days prior.  Indeed, her daughter refused to be in the photo at the last minute offering a somewhat lame excuse for why she couldn’t be in the photo.  I was so surprised that this actually happened.  I guess that’s not pre-cognitive, it was post-cognitive.  I picked up on something that had already happened.

So I told Anna the next sequence about her son and his friend in the Air Force academy.  She thought back and remembered that her son did indeed have a friend at that time who was, for lack of a better word, always hitting on older women.  It’s a small thing and we can’t totally verify that I saw the same guy she’s thinking of.  If only I had gotten the guy’s name, that would have been something.  But both Anna and her son knew exactly who I was talking about when I talked to both of them.

The fourth sequence with the underground military base we can’t totally verify, but Anna confirms that her husband, Richard, was heavily involved in top secret military missions in the Nevada desert, and that he was always debriefed, had to sign non-disclosure agreements and take lie detector tests because of it. 

I’ve had dreams of this nature related to this family before.  Once I dreamed that they had a leak in their ceiling and water was dripping all over Anna’s bed.  She told me that that had indeed happened many years ago, long before I ever met her.  I think there is a strong psychic connection between me and Anna and members of her family.

What really surprised me was having the same dream about my mom that she had about herself.  Wondering if this was happening more often than I thought, Steve and I have started sharing tidbits from our dreams each morning to see if we’re having any of the same dreams.  This morning we both reported having a dream about our old martial arts instructor whom neither of us have had contact with for probably 8 or 9 years.  That was odd.

So what does it all mean?  Is dream sharing possible?  I think it definitely is.  Is one person picking up on the dream of another?  Or are both having the same dream on their own?  I’ll bet both are possible.  I think that the fact that I am so aware of my dreams and also so intuitive offers me the opportunity to dream-share more often.  I am intending to continue exploring this more proactively.

If you ever have a dream about me, please email it to me the next day if you can.  I want to see if I can correlate your dream with anything I dreamed the night before.

In any case, the whole subject is fascinating.  If we can share dreams I wonder if we can have lucid communication in a dream that is actually received and remembered by both parties.  I enjoy exploring possibilities such as this.

Does anyone else have a shared dream experience they’d like to relate?  Please post in the forums or contact me privately.

Dream interpretation is not about universal symbols.  To interpret your dreams you need to understand what the dream elements mean to you.  I’ll expand on this in a moment.

In junior high I made a study of dreams for a science fair project.  I learned how to interpret dreams and started doing it for all my friends, and even my teachers.  As the years went by I just got better and better at it.  It’s hard to interpret someone else’s dream without knowing the person really well, so usually I have to ask questions to elicit the information I need for a proper interpretation.  I can’t just automatically assign a meaning to a dream symbol based on some universal interpretation.

Interpreting my own dreams is very easy for me because I know me so well.  The other night I had a dream about a lilac bush with a bunch of bees on it.  One dream dictionary I looked up online says it means good luck is coming my way.  That’s not what it meant to me though.  Earlier that day I was sitting at a red light and looked over to my left where I saw a lilac bush with bees buzzing around it.  I am really afraid of bees and I remember feeling glad I was in my car with the windows closed so one didn’t buzz in.  So dreaming about bees in a lilac bush was simply my subconscious mind reliving a fearful experience from earlier in the day.  If a florist had the same dream, it would mean something else.  If a beekeeper had the same dream, I’m sure it wouldn’t have the same meaning as it did for me.

There are common dream themes, however.  When I first learned about dreams I read that there were eight of them actually.  These eight dream themes are supposedly so common that most people will have all of these dreams at some point in their lives.  They are:

1. Dreams of falling
2. Dreams of flying
3. Dreams of finding money (usually coins)
4. Dreams of losing money
5. Dreams of being naked in public
6. Dreams of losing your teeth or having them fall out
7. Dreams about being chased
8. Sex dreams

But just because you have a dream that falls into a common theme category doesn’t mean it will have the same meaning for you that it will for someone else.  If you’re a dentist and you dream that your teeth are falling out it could mean that you feel inadequate as a dentist, or you feel like you’re a fraud, or you feel like you want to stop being a dentist … or any number of interpretations.

In order to interpret your dreams properly you have to know what the dream symbols mean to you. 

Let’s take an example.  The dream is that you are sitting on your couch when all of a sudden you feel something slithering around your body, and you hear a rattling sound.  In a moment, you see it’s a rattlesnake! 

Are you afraid of snakes or do you like them?  If you’re afraid of them then I might suggest you are coming face to face with a fear.  Or I might suggest you feel like you are in the grip of fear.  

If, on the other hand, you love snakes, the dream will have a different meaning.  Maybe it’s an expression of courage.  Maybe the snake in the dream reminds you of a deceased pet snake you had and you’re happy to see it.

The emotion you feel from a dream is the most telling element of what the dream means.  It’s important to identify how the dream made you feel.  Often it’s difficult to figure out what each and every symbol in a dream means.  But knowing the emotion is probably the most critical element.  Did you feel sad, angry, overwhelmed, depressed, defeated, afraid, overjoyed, hopeful?  That alone can be enough of an interpretation.

A great technique to figure out what your dream means is to tell it to someone else.  The words you use are often indicative of the meaning.  Example:  I was with my father and then all of a sudden his head just came flying off.  “Hmm, did you have a fight with your father the other day?”  “Why yes, I did, and he really just flew off the handle.  Oh, I get it… ”

Try this one:  I dreamed I was in a boat and was floating gently down a stream.  All of a sudden there was a thunderstorm and lightning and the river started moving more swiftly.  I felt like I was out of control, like I couldn’t get control of my boat.  All I wanted to do was get back to safer waters, but I saw rocks ahead and knew I was going to crash.  When I woke up I was so anxious.

Now let’s take the same dream and describe it a different way so you can see how the emotion is different even with the same elements.  Dream:  I dreamed I was in this boat and was floating meekly down the stream.  But a powerful thunderstorm was brewing; I could just feel it’s power.  Then lightning struck and all of a sudden I was barrelling down the river faster than I ever had before.  I could easily see the obstacles ahead of me but I was so powerful that I knew I could easily face and overcome them.

In the first dream, our dreamer is expressing anxiety over something in their life that probably happened suddenly, without warning, that is scaring them.  Our dreamer is not feeling in control of his life and probably wants things to go back to the way they were.  He thinks tragedy looms before him.

Our second dreamer is having a different experience.  He went from being meek to getting a great idea that is propelling him forward in life.  He is feeling courage and power, not anxiety, about the obstacles ahead.

Telling your dream to your partner or a friend is a good idea.  The words you choose are often insightful.  Sometimes I’ll tell Steve a dream that was very emotional for me and he can interpret it as I go because he’s hearing the words, not seeing the images I saw.  While I’m caught up in just describing the scene, he is hearing my words.  This works when you write it down in a dream journal too.

It takes practice to interpret your dreams.  You’ve got to just keep working at it. 

Being able to intrepret dreams has actually helped me considerably with my psychic readings.  When I tune in to the spirit guides they will often send me a metaphor for my sitter’s life and current circumstances.  I have to figure out what the imagery means just by seeing the symbols.  If I didn’t know how to interpret dreams I might be really lost. 

Not all dreams require interpretation.  Sometimes I will dream that someone calls me on the phone, tells me something, and hangs up.  The message comes through cleanly and with no symbolism.  Saves time. 

Some dreams are communications from spirits or deceased relatives and also do not require much in the way of interpretation.  And some dreams are premonitions so where you might see something symbolic it could be literal.

If you’re not used to remembering your dreams you may find them very disjointed in the beginning (e.g. “There was a flying monkey and then it was in my bath tub.  A second later I was back in high school with my old boyfriend, Fred.  He was annoying me.  Then I saw that he had a butterfly tatoo, which started singing to me in Latin…”)  Don’t be discouraged.  Keep on dreaming!  Share your dreams with a partner, or just say them out loud to yourself.  The words you choose are important.  In time you’ll get to know what your dreams mean to you.  If you feel fear in your dream, ask yourself what you’re afraid of in your life.  If you feel excited in a dream, ask yourself what you’re feeling excited about in your life, and so on.

But throw the dictionaries away.  Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.