Imagine you had a car and it was your job to give people rides in your car, to help them get where they needed to go.  You invite someone into your car, take them where they need to go, drop them off, and pick up the next person.  You do this happily.  It gives you a sense of purpose, contribution, connection, and love.  And you do it without expecting anything in return, not even gas money.  Even when people offer you money for gas, you turn them down, because to accept the money would cheapen your service, it would devalue the gift.

Then what happens?  You run out of gas.  And since you collected no money from your rides, you can’t pay the gas station attendant for more gas.  People still need you.  You’ve set up a system, they’ve come to rely on you, and you can’t let them down.  So you keep inviting people into your car, but now instead of driving them where they need to go, you’re pushing the car instead.  They’re uncomfortable because now they can see you suffering on their behalf, and you’re uncomfortable because you actually are suffering.  How long can you keep that up before you keel over from exhaustion? 

You know who you are.  You’re emotionally drained.  Physically exhausted.  Spiritually tapped out.  You’ve got nothing left to give.  And why?  Because you didn’t fill up your gas tank so you could keep giving people rides.  There’s nothing wrong with giving rides to others if that’s what you want to do, in fact it’s an admirable way to go through life.  But when you disallow others the opportunity to give back to you, the system eventually fails and everyone suffers.

Somewhere along the way you were taught that to give is divine and to receive is selfish.  This is false though.  To give is indeed divine, but to allow others to give back to you is divine also.  If you don’t receive it means you’re blocking someone else from giving.  Yeah, that’s not cool is it?  When you give but do not allow yourself to receive you are molding yourself into the role of martyr.  What’s going to happen when you’ve got nothing left to give and you’ve conditioned people never to help you?  They’re going to move on and get help elsewhere.  Then how will you achieve that sense of purpose you attached to giving without receiving?  If you’re tapped out, the people who rely on you have to seek help elsewhere.

The solution is to allow people to give you fair value in return for the value you’ve given them.  This could be in the form of money, a service, emotional support, good will, or a material possession.  It doesn’t matter.  You must be energetically open to receiving, otherwise you’ll eventually run out of juice and be so depleted you can’t give anymore. 

I frequently see this syndrome among mothers who give all their time, attention, love and support to their families and get nothing in return.  I also see it in people who have limiting beliefs like, “I should help people with my gift and not expect anything in return,” or “Money is evil, I’ll just learn to live on less and less.”  This helps no one.

So how do you restore yourself?  How do you fill the tank?  Here are some ideas:

• Accept monetary compensation for the value you provide (I know, what a concept!)
• Take a day off to restore your energy by  doing what YOU love
• Mark off time in your day where you work on your own life goals instead of helping everyone with theirs
• Learn to say “no” when you are depleted and just let others know you’ll be back when you’re restored
• Graciously and sincerely accept praise when it is bestowed upon you
• Ask for love when you need it
• Learn to stop feeling guilty for taking care of your own needs
• Learn to accept assistance from others when you actually need help
   

Being a martyr is a dead end path.  Instead, give and receive equally to keep the gears turning and the spice flowing.  The more you have, the more you can give.  Don’t restrict the energetic flow of abundance or you’ll end up taking yourself out of the game.  And then who is going to help everyone you’ve been helping?

I could sum up this entire concept with the oxygen mask on the airline example.  Put your own mask on first and then assist the others around you.  If you go down who will help all those people who need assistance to get their masks on?

Being grounded means you are present in your life, not obsessed with the past or future.  It means your energy is planted firmly in your body instead of drifting off into airy-fairy land.  Being grounded means you have stability, security, and control over your life.  It means being ready to handle life’s challenges instead of burying your head in the sand and pretending they aren’t there.  It means you are checked in instead of checked out. 

Being grounded is important so you can face your life instead of running from it.  And ironically, being properly grounded can help you reach higher spiritual frequencies.  Think of it like tethering your energy here while the rest of you explores another frontier; it’s easy to find your way back if you are grounded.

So what do you do if you’re ungrounded?  Here are five ways to ground yourself.  You can do them all or pick the ones that resonate with you.

Exercise
Moving your physical body reminds you that you have one.  Instead of zoning out in front of the tv while a show transports your mind to a fantasy land, get up off the couch and get moving!  Try dancing, aerobics, hip hop abs, weight lifting, or jogging through your neighborhood.  Jump up and down a little, that will get things settled.

Walk on the Earth
Take off your shoes and walk on the Earth.  Not the concrete.  Find some actual Earth.  Run through the grass, take a stroll along the sandy beach.  I don’t recommend rock climbing without shoes though.   The Earth carries an energy that nourishes your energetic body.  But when you wear shoes and walk on concrete you don’t get to absorb that energy.  So get back to nature and let Mother Earth ground and restore your energy. 

Meditation
Sit quietly and imagine roots going from your feet deep into the core of the Earth.  Plant yourself.  The first time I tried this I wasn’t expecting much, but I was amazed at how this actually felt.  Imagine your feet have grown roots, and like a beanstalk imagine the roots snaking their way down into the Earth.  Go all the way to the core.  This will completely ground you energetically.

Sit in hot water
A hot bath or a dip in the Jacuzzi isn’t just relaxing, it’s cleansing.  Take a hot bath with some Epsom salts mixed into the water.  Water is purifying.  Sitting in a warm tub of water will slough off any negative energy that’s sticking to you.  The shower is okay if you don’t have a tub, but while you’re in the shower, you want to imagine all the gunky energy peeling off your body and going down the drain.  Sometimes other people’s energies can stick to us.  You may come home from work with other people’s problems attached to you.  Water will clear that right up.

Sit in Stillness
Be in the present moment.  Sit in a chair or better yet, sit outside on the grass under a tree.  Get quiet.  Just look, just listen, just feel the air gliding around your body.  Notice what you smell.  Notice what you hear.  Just absorb the present moment.  Disallow your mind from wandering to the future or the past.  Just be in the now.  Notice that you are alright, that nothing bad is happening to you, and that you are totally at One with the world around you.

There are many ways to ground yourself.  What is your favorite method?