You are here to shine your light, to be a beacon. You are not here to chase people down and force your light upon them.

Some will be attracted to your light, and some won’t. It is not your job nor your responsibility to seek followers.

Just be a beacon, and those who want to step into the glow of your light will.

There is nothing for you to do. Your job is to be. Be who you are at your core. Remember who you really are, and be that person.

All of your actions will stem from your inner light.

When you are in alignment with all that you are, then all your actions will be so aligned. And those who are attracted to your light will receive benefit.

As you struggle to define yourself, to figure out what you’re supposed to do, try to remember that much of this world was crafted by those who have forgotten their higher selves. What you see in the world today is in many ways a contrast to what it could be.

The more you can remember who you really are, and the more you can align yourself with that person, the more change you will see in the world, because it will be a reflection of your higher self.

The world today is a reflection of the light we are casting. Is your light casting fear or is it casting love?

As you beacon, so shall the world be. So be a beacon. But be a beacon of your highest self.

Awaken to your light. Remember who you really are. And love.

So in this paradigm, anything and everything in your environment affects you, some positively and some negatively. He talked about ways to reduce the negative energies and pull in more of the positive energies.

Immediately I was struck by how important it is to surround ourselves with the people, places, and things that make us feel good, and to try to remove as much of the people, places, and things that negatively impact our energy or cause us to feel bad.

For example, if you’re going to a job you hate, every single day, you’ll likely notice your energy is drained. You may even dread going to work. On the other hand, if you’re going to a job you love with coworkers you adore, you’re going to get a lot of joy and positive energy out of going to work every day. It will be an uplifting experience.

Or if you have a stagnant relationship or you’re having difficulties in your relationship you’ll start to notice that you dread coming home to your partner. That’s a drain. But if you have a super loving relationship with a super compatible person, you’ll derive great positive energy from interacting with them.

If you make a list of all the people, places, and things that impact you and then you make a quick evaluation about their effect on you, you’ll get a good idea of what’s bringing you down and what’s raising your vibration. Then you can take conscious action to improve a negative relationship or situation, or eliminate it if it can’t be altered.

When I looked at my connections, they were 90% positive. There are very few things bringing me down in life right now. Literally the biggest “bummers” in my life right now are a malfunctioning dishwasher, carpets I can’t seem to get clean, and a housekeeper that causes me more aggravation than I’d like. In the near future, I will take the steps necessary to correct these situations so I can move throughout my day without constant aggravation.

But the other aspect of the Love principle is more proactive. Who or what would you like to connect with more? Is there anything missing from your life that you’d like to add that would uplift you or raise your vibration even higher? At the workshop, we made a list of what else we’d like to attract into our lives that we know would make us feel more loved and loving.

For me, it was two things. I’d like to attract a loving relationship with a partner. It’s been 2 years since I separated from Steve and I’ve been really enjoying being single. It’s filled me with a sense of independence and freedom I can’t ever remember having. But now I feel ready to enter into a new relationship with a loving partner. So I wrote that down as something I’m ready to attract.

The second thing I wanted to attract was more involvement in providing emergency services during disasters. If you’ve been connecting with me on Facebook or through the forums, you’ll know I have a passion for emergency preparedness and being able to assist my community or individuals in times of disaster.

And so it was, on Day 2 of CGW I could not attend because I was signed up for the Red Cross Class: Chapter Response to Disaster, which is the prerequisite course I needed to take in order to be certified to respond to a disaster on behalf of the Red Cross. When I got to the classroom there were 12 other students there ready to take the course. The instructor had us introduce ourselves, our background, and share why we were taking the class. It was at this time I completely internalized and understood the power of the principle of Love.

Every single person in that room was there because they wanted to help their fellow man. Every person in there had a day job or was retired, and simply wanted to give back to their community. They were compassionate, caring, and selfless. I had never been in a room full of people so dedicated to helping others, for free, on their own time. It literally sent a wave of love chills up my back to be surrounded by others all committed to the same thing I was.

So that’s when I realized how much I’d been missing this vital connection in my life. While I sat there chatting with everyone, I realized they just got me. They completely understood my love and desire to help others, to provide comfort and relief to those suffering. I didn’t have to explain it or justify it. We were all on the same wavelength. It felt fantastic.

I felt something similar when I attended the I Can Do It conference put on by Hay House. It was like finding my tribe. I didn’t have to explain about being intuitive. Everyone there was completely comfortable with the concept. There was no explaining or defending or shying away from discussing things like chakras, astral projection, and the paranormal.

Do you surround yourself with people who plug into the aspects of your life that you care about the most? Do you have people around you who mirror, reflect, or share the passions you also have? What does it feel like?

Or are you surrounded by people who just don’t get you? How does THAT feel?

If you love the wilderness, do you go hiking with others who share that love? If you love cooking, do you surround yourself with others who love to cook and co-create something together? If you love skiing, do you belong to a ski club or group? Do you love a certain tv show? Do you have someone you can talk to after the show airs, someone who shares your passion and can talk about the characters and plot for days without getting bored?

When you bring loving connections into your life, it just makes your life better. You’re more fulfilled, you’re understood, and you get to share your passion with others who get it.

I hope you have a ton of these passionate connections. If you don’t, I urge you to try to bring them into your life. Make a list of your passions, hobbies, desires. Then figure out where or how you could connect with others who share your hobbies. You’ll be amazed at the joy it brings you, and how much more fun your life becomes.

“Erin, this 30 day trial was amazing. I decided to call people on the phone instead of sending emails. I didn’t end up making 30 calls but I did end up with 17. I can’t tell you what a wonderful experience this was for me and my family and friends. At first it was hard because I wasn’t sure exactly how to explain what I was doing but eventually I found my rhythm and it was easier. Without an exception, I ended up going so deep with each person, and it gave them a chance to tell me how much they love me too. Thanks for doing the trial. I’m going to keep it in mind throughout the year!” – Maria

“Great experience here for me, Erin. I had the best reaction from my father. I’ve never really told him how much I love him, and more importantly, WHY I love him. He was so touched by what I said that he had tears streaming down his face. Then I started tearing up myself. It was crazy, but so cathartic. I haven’t had that amazing a connection with my father in decades. Thanks for doing this. It was awesome!” – John

“What a great experiment this was! I forgot some days but picked it right back up again, especially when you reminded us on facebook. The people I sent notes too were stunned. Like you, a lot of people wrote back that they were speechless. They just didn’t know how to respond. It’s interesting because I think most people expect complaints, and when they get love instead, it just sort of blows them away. I loved the experience. I definitely got as much out of it as them!” – Angela

“Loved the experiment. As I went along my notes started getting longer and longer. I really got into a groove. I was on a high each time I wrote something, and got even higher when they wrote something nice back. Way cool! You rock, Erin. Keep the love flowing!” – Markus

I also got an email from one of my readers who was attending a birthday party. The person planning the party asked each of the guests to write something about the birthday girl about what they appreciate and love about her. Then she made it into a book and presented it to the birthday girl. Imagine what a lovely and precious gift that was to know how you’ve positively impacted all your friends and family. Think about doing this for someone’s big birthday (40, 50, etc.).

Spread the love. Once a week. Once a month. Every day. Or just when the spirit moves you. What you put out into the world will come back to you a hundred-fold. When you raise people’s vibrations, it sends ripples of love and positive energy throughout the world. Makes the world a nicer place for everyone.

To start, this has definitely been one of the most profound and transformative trials I’ve ever done. When I first got the idea to do this, I knew it would be powerful, but I didn’t know how powerful and what a shift this would create for me and, apparently, some of those who received my emails.

I decided to use email as my source of communication, but it was originally suggested in the article that you could do it in person, by phone, text, or body language. As long as your recipient felt your love and gratitude, you did it right.

I crafted my first email to my twin sister, Nicole. I told her how positively she’s impacted my life and how grateful I’ve always been to have a twin sister who I know will always have my back. By the time I was done writing out my two paragraphs, tears were sliding down my face. I sent it to her, already feeling amazing just from what I had written. Then she responded to my email with some tear-creating thoughts of her own. By the time we were done going back and forth, I was bawling. And it was good. The rest of my day was awesome.

On the second day I sent a note to my mother. I love my mother very much, but there have been times throughout the years that we’ve disagreed so vehemently on things that I lessened my contact with her to avoid arguments. Still we have a pretty good relationship. As she is getting on in years and beginning to suffer from Alzheimer’s Disease, I realized that now was the time to tell her how much she means to me, not after she’s gone! So when I wrote the email to my mother it was probably the most cathartic thing I’ve ever written. I realized that I chose my mom for one reason and one reason only… to learn love. She was an extremely loving parent to me growing up. Despite the fact that we never had healthy food or clean clothes (not her strong points!) I realized all of a sudden that none of that mattered. She gave me exactly what I needed most. Love. And suddenly I was able to forgive her for all the things I thought she “should have” done and became simply grateful to have had such a loving parent growing up. She was beyond tears when she called me to thank me for my letter. I have a lot more patience for my mother now. Our relationship was completely transformed with that one expression of love and gratitude.

On day three my father got his email. He wrote back, “I couldn’t read your letter to the end because of all the tears in my eyes. Your mom had to read it to me.” I told my father how dearly I love and appreciate him and how wise I think he is. I thanked him for all the loving time and attention he gave me growing up and how special I always felt to be his daughter. Again I went through a transformative experience just acknowledging the gifts he’s given me throughout the years.

Day four was for my brother, someone I don’t communicate with a whole lot as our lives are just very different. He was completely stunned by the sentiments I sent him, and it connected us in a way that I never thought would happen.

I was on a roll and loving the trial! I spent the next several weeks sending these love and gratitude notes to friends and other family members. Each and every time as I wrote, my eyes would tear up. I started to realize how many truly awesome people are in my life and how each one has given me a gift.

The responses I got back were heartfelt, and surprisingly similar. “I’m speechless” was common. And several people told me they were so moved by what I wrote that they were going to keep the email and re-read it whenever they felt down. One of my friends told me that when I told her how I see her, it finally gave her permission to see herself that way too. She had suspected she was a certain way and she suspected she was having a certain impact, but when I shared it with her it gave her some validation that it wasn’t all in her head.

I encouraged everyone to pay it forward and send a love and gratitude note to someone in their life. A lot of people expressed to me that their vibration was raised the entire day after they received my note. That was definitely part of my intention and what I suspected might happen when I thought up the trial.

I think the most profound thing I learned from doing this trial was that we shouldn’t wait to tell people how they’ve positively impacted our lives. Often we wait until we are giving a eulogy to talk so positively about a person, but how about we tell them now when it will do even more good?!

Tell them now!

Connect with all the people you have in your life today or from the past, and tell them why you are grateful. Tell them how much and why you love them. It’s an amazing gift to give and to receive.

To tell someone that they are loved and that you are grateful to have them in your life is priceless. To tell someone how they’ve positively impacted your life is immeasurable.

Don’t wait until they’re gone.

Tell them now.

P.S. Since today is the last day of the trial, I want to thank each and every one of you who support my work. I appreciate all of you! Thank you for letting me express my thoughts to you. Thank you for guiding my articles with your questions and desires. Thank you for trusting me, letting me help you, and for being there for me when I have my own challenges. I could never have hoped to have so many people appreciate my work and support what I do. I am grateful to have the opportunity to impact so many lives, and I will continue to do this work with the wisdom and insight my own guides give me. In love and light… Erin.

So I was thinking about this the other day because people send me emails all the time expressing love and gratitude to me for the work I do, the articles I write, or the readings I’ve given them. And it occurred to me that the power of love and gratitude is so awesome that we really should get in the habit of expressing love and gratitude to the people in our lives as much as possible. I want to make this a habit. So I’ve decided to do a 30-Day Love and Gratitude Trial, and I’d love for you to join me.

For the next 30 days we’re going to express love and/or gratitude to one person each day. The medium doesn’t matter. You could do it by phone, in person, email, text, body language, morse code, or even smoke signals. The trick is you must do it consciously and sincerely.

If you’d like, you can make a list of 30 people you’re going to do this with, or you can just decide each morning. Think about how this person contributes to your life and how much you love them. Then communicate that love, appreciation, gratitude, and affection to them directly. If you can’t think of 30 people, it’s okay to duplicate people along the way, but I think you can find 30 people in the world who deserve your love and gratitude. Besides the usual suspects (family, friends, co-workers) you could include bloggers, authors, your masseuse, your postal worker, the lady at the grocery store that you see week after week, your spirit guides, angels, higher self, God. You could even send a note to yourself!

It doesn’t have to take long. You could write a short one-line email, or a simple text. Or you could craft an entire letter to them. Whatever moves you. Just really give some thought to how this person affects your life positively and thank them for it. You will be utterly amazed at what happens to you for sending it and what happens to them when they receive it.

On August 31, I’ll check in with you to see how you did and what you learned. And I’ll post some of the stories, so please feel free to submit them to me using my contact form.

Are you ready to have a ripple effect? Are you ready to put positive energy into the lives of others? Are you in?

How can you love others if you don’t love yourself first? You can’t give what you don’t have. I know so many beautiful, loving people who give so much to others but suffer silently because they are not receiving love back. If you can learn to love yourself, and proactively show yourself some love, you will have a rich and renewable resource with which to love others.

Here then are 10 ways you can show yourself some love.

Just Say No
Learn how to say no to people, even people you love. It’s not loving if you agree to do something you don’t want to do just to make someone else happy. Instead find something you can do with or for someone that makes you both happy.

I’ll share a recent example of this in my own life. I bought a ticket to a toastmaster contest and event and encouraged a toastmaster friend of mine to go to the event as well. He initially said he would go, but I sensed a hesitancy in him. As the event approached I found out he hadn’t bought his ticket yet and was going to pay at the door, which would cost him $50 more than if he’d bought the ticket in advance. He said, “I’m only going to this thing for you.” So I told him in no uncertain terms to please not do that. It seems loving on the surface, but knowing he only went to make me happy would not have made me happy at all. I told him not to come and that I’d be fine with all my other toastmaster friends who wanted to attend. Instead I suggested we do lunch or go hiking, two things that we both enjoy.

Go through your friendships and relationships and get clear on how you like to show love to those people. Don’t agree to do something you don’t want to do. It’s no fun for either of you. Find the areas you both enjoy and engage in those activities together.

Guard Your Energy
Every day that you wake up in your bed you have a chance to make it a good day or a bad day by your decisions and actions. As you go through your day, sometimes events will happen outside your control. Only you can decide how you will let the events affect you. You can choose your emotions, you can choose the meanings you assign to events, and you can choose your reactions. Guard your energy, because as soon as you start feeling down or low vibrational it will affect not just you but everyone around you. To show love to yourself, choose positive emotions and reactions to everything life throws at you. If you are completely knocked off your feet, lean on your friends for support. Then get back in the game with a reframe and move forward. Sometimes we do need friends to lift us back up, but you can work on learning to reframe experiences as they happen so that you are not knocked down so often.

Carve Out Me-Time
I know you’re busy, there’s lots to do every day. And I know a lot of people who spend most of their day assisting others, whether personally or professionally. It’s vital to restore, recharge, and repair yourself each day, and sometimes the only way to get some me-time is to carve it out in stone! Even 15 minutes a day completely to yourself, with no other obligations, can be enough to recharge. Sit and read a magazine and have a cup of tea. Take a bath, or a long hot shower. Take a walk or sit in nature. Turn off your cell phone and leave the laptop behind. Don’t answer the phone, and don’t respond to requests for help. Be vigilant about your me-time. Let nothing and no one disturb you. If you’ve never carved out time for yourself, you’ll be amazed at what happens when you start doing it. It’s like putting fresh batteries in your body. You come back restored and replenished and ready to give some more.

When my kids were young I spent a lot of time attending to their needs, and I felt myself becoming energetically depleted and sometimes frustrated and angry. My fuse became very short. So I started taking every Saturday morning to go have lunch with a friend. I noticed that when I got home, I was ready and raring to see my kids again, totally restored and recharged and ready to be a great mom. Sometimes to love others more, you have to step back and love yourself first.

Use Your Love Strategy On Yourself
What makes you feel loved? Gary Chapman wrote a fantastic series of books related to the five love languages that I … well, love! What is your love strategy?

Words of praise: You like it when someone pays you a compliment or tells you how great you’re doing.

Physical affection: You like it when someone gives you a hug when you feel down, and you like physical affection from a partner or spouse to show you that you are lovable.

Gifts: When someone gives you a gift you feel loved, like when you get flowers or a token of affection.

Acts of service: When someone does something for you, you feel loved, like when your spouse takes out the garbage or picks up the kids even when it’s your job to do so.

Quality time: You like it when someone spends a lot of time with you, like taking a long walk or listening to you talk for hours, or going on a long vacation with you.

Now, determine your love strategy and give it to yourself! In the same order as above, try these ideas:

Words of praise: Pay yourself a compliment. Write yourself a love letter telling yourself what you love about you. Write “You are lovable” on your mirror and read it every morning, out loud, five times.

Physical affection: Get a massage, hug yourself, or make your bed the most luxuriously snuggly place you can imagine. Get slippers. Go plush.

Gifts: Give yourself a gift. A small trinket, a piece of jewelry, a foot massager for under your desk. Send yourself flowers every week. Be your own gift-giver. After all, you know what you like, so no guess work or returns involved.

Acts of service: Go to a restaurant and let someone else cook for you. Hire a cleaning service to clean your house so you don’t have to. Pay someone to run errands for you. You can actually give yourself acts of service as odd as that sounds.

Quality time: Spend quality time with yourself. Mark off an entire afternoon to engage in an activity you love. Go to lunch and a movie. Take a long walk on the beach. Sit in the park and read a book.

Actively love yourself using the same strategy you have with others.

Do What You Love
One of the greatest ways to love yourself is to make sure that you are spending your days doing what you love, whether that’s professionally or personally. When you go to a job you hate, your negative energy exudes out into your office environment and affects others. When you go to a job you love, your positive energy washes over others and they end up having a better day. I’m sure you’ve seen this in action yourself. You owe it to yourself and to others to do what you love, and to do what makes you happy.

The same is true for your evenings and weekends. If you’re at a job you hate all day and you come home grumpy and depressed, that’s no fun for your family. Likewise if you’re a stay-at-home parent and you’d rather be working, you’re injecting a lot of negative energy into the home. One of the greatest gifts you can give your family, friends, and co-workers is to love yourself enough to insist that your day is spent doing something you love and that makes you happy.

Forgive Others
Holding a grudge or carrying anger and resentment towards others only burdens you. Every morning you have to pick up that grudge again and carry it around with you all day. You have to send hateful thoughts to other people. It’s like putting poison in a cup and sending it to your enemy hoping they will receive and drink it. Why not just decide to forgive? Tomorrow morning, instead of picking up that grudge, pick up a cup of forgiveness and drink it. Let it go. Give it up. Let them be. Move on. Concentrate on your own life and your own future, and leave the past in the past. Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. Whatever was done to you, decide you learned a valuable lesson, and move forward. If you need to extract some meaning from the experience, help other people who may have been hurt in a similar way.

Reward Yourself
This is one of my favorite ways to show myself some love. Indulge in a reward. Do you reward yourself for a job well done? How about a life well lived? Go on, reward yourself. Sometimes after I finish a huge project, release a product, or complete a training, I take a day off and go to the spa. I get a massage and soak in the Jacuzzi for hours. Other times I reward myself with a new book, or a night out, or a nice meal at a fancy restaurant.

Keep a list of rewards, and as you tackle new challenges in your life, attach a reward to completing one. It’s guilt-free and you’re worth it! Indulge.

Plant a Tree in Your Soul
Sometimes loving yourself means taking the time to plant a seed that won’t bear fruit for years. Love yourself enough to make a long term plan that will ensure your happiness. I know people who worked intensely for 10 years to make enough money to be financially independent by age 35 and never have to work again in their lives. Those 10 years were brutal, by their own account, but worth it to have financial freedom so young.

If you’re in a job or relationship you hate, or your health isn’t what you want it to be, make a plan change it. Then start taking actions today that will get you where you want to be tomorrow. Tune in to what your heart really desires. How do you really want to spend your life? Then make a plan to transition. Plant a little tree in your soul, water it, and let it grow. One day you’ll use that tree to climb out of your current situation. Be patient, but start now.

Keep a Journal
Journaling is a great way to show yourself some love. It’s like having a deep conversation with yourself, and it’s on paper so you can look back on it later to see where you were and how far you’ve come. Grab a blank book or an online journaling program and start writing down your thoughts, fears, feelings, and successes. A journal is a great place to vent when you are angry and have no one else to vent to. Share your feelings, and release your burdens.

Be Grateful
Gratitude is a super high vibration. When you are in a state of gratitude and feeling blessed you become more resourceful than you can imagine. Use your journal or just grab a piece of paper each morning and write down 10 things for which you are grateful. Part of my audio program, Raising Your Vibration, contains a 10 minute gratitude meditation, which can be done every evening. Being in a state of gratitude restores and resets you. Gratitude helps you show love to yourself and to others.

***

What are some other ways you show yourself some love? Come up with your own methods, and use them often. The more you’re willing to show yourself some love, the more love you will have to give to others. It’s a win-win for everyone!

Recently I received an email from a reader who had a beautiful story to tell that illustrates what happens when you are guided by connection instead of separation. He gave me permission to share it with you.

“I just wanted to tell you that your article for Martin Luther King Day, I Have a Dream Too, was very touching and I wanted to share a little story on how I did something today that I would have never done if I had not read your articles over the past couple of weeks.

Then I said goodbye and went on my way. But from you I realize that God or Source is in all of us. We choose everyday how we are going to act in a situation. If it was not for me reading your articles saying to give money to the homeless when in need I would have walked right past him. I felt really good about what I did today. And whenever someone on the street asks me for change, I always give what change I have even though I am a student and not wealthy. I do this simply because I am grateful for what I do have, and giving spare change to someone in need does not hurt me and it will help them. So, again thank you for all of your articles. You have changed who I am in a short period of time and I am really grateful! Take care!” – D

“You must have God in you.” What does that mean? What did he see? Compassion, care, connection, a generous heart, and a sympathetic spirit. How do you feel when you reconnect with the God-ness in you? When you help others it raises your vibration. It elevates you to a state of compassion, gratitude, and love. When you can gift those feelings to another the love is magnified. How do you think the homeless man felt as he went on about his day? He probably felt loved, cared for, and like he mattered. And he probably paid it forward throughout the rest of his day.

Do something today that reconnects you to Source. Connect with another tendril. Give love, express compassion, offer empathy and understanding. We might look like we’re going through life as individuals, but we’re actually all connected. When you help others, you’re really helping yourself.

One of the reasons Steve and I hung on to our marriage for so long, before we decided to separate, was that we truly loved each other. And every time we would discuss whether we should end our marriage, we kept asking if the love was still there. And every time, the answer was yes, the love was there. So we would conclude that we should stay together and try to work on our issues because “love conquers all.” We held the belief if we loved each other we could overcome our incompatibilities. In October of 2009, we finally challenged that belief and realized that sometimes love just ain’t enough.

Loving your partner is an important component to a strong and healthy relationship, but it is possible to love someone ardently yet still not be happy in a romantic relationship with him or her. It took Steve and I years to realize that you can’t build a long-lasting relationship on love alone.

Steve and I met when we were in our early 20′s at a time when our compatibility was super high. We loved doing all the same things, had similar values, plans, and goals. We were very attracted to each other physically, psychologically, and emotionally. We fit together like two puzzle pieces. We built a life with each other, got married, and had kids. Then we built two successful online businesses following our passions and purpose. On paper, we seemed to have it all. But something wasn’t right in our marriage.

Over the years we both grew, but we started to grow in slightly different directions. At first it was no big deal. For example, Steve really wanted to spend a lot of time traveling and I didn’t but we lacked the funds to travel anyway so it hardly ever came up. Likewise, I really wanted to be a mom, but Steve wasn’t that into the idea of being a father. So when we had our first child I elected to be the primary caregiver and we were both fine with that. I loved family and routine. Steve liked adventure and trying new things.

Over the years our lifestyle incompatibilities became more of an issue. Steve likes his house to be totally pristine and tidy and the kids and I couldn’t keep up with his borderline OCD. Steve wanted to spend half the year traveling and I wanted to provide our children with stability and routine. I wanted to spend more time with extended family and he wanted no part of holidays or family festivities. So we would talk and talk and discuss and try to compromise. But when we would compromise it meant neither of us were truly getting what we wanted out of life.

In the end, we decided that love just wasn’t enough to hold a marriage together. We always held each other in high regard, were always supportive of each other’s goals and passions, and always there for each other to provide support. We didn’t want to lose any of that, but the marriage had to go.

We very consciously decided not to hold each other back any longer, so we ended the marriage and freed ourselves to pursue the lifestyle we wanted. Ending the marriage didn’t kill the relationship, it transformed it. Steve and I are still close friends, and we still love and support each other, but now we each have the freedom to pursue the life we want.

If you are in love and your relationship totally serves your happiness, that’s awesome! But if you are no longer happy in your relationship, if you can no longer have the life you dreamed of having, then consider that staying together is not worth it. In the end, you must be more committed to your own joy than to a partnership that is causing you to give up your joy in life. I know that in our society there is a lot of peer pressure to stay together, especially if you have children. But I don’t think that constantly compromising your joy is a good example to set for our children.

You deserve to have the life you want, the life that brings you joy. If you can’t create a life of joy inside a relationship with a partner you love, then you are compromising your God-given right to happiness. Transform the relationship if you can, or end it.

So ask yourself. Are you in a relationship with a partner you love, but you’re still not happy with your life? Do you have to compromise too much to maintain the relationship?

In the end it’s a choice. I do believe that love is a necessary component to the success of a long term partnership. But sometimes… love just ain’t enough.

But are we really in rough shape or do we just think we are?

I think most of us are aware that bad news sells better than good news. I think we’re also aware that hype sells better than simple truth. People don’t seem to want to read about people’s fortunes, but their misfortunes. So if all we’re being exposed to is the bad news in the world, obviously we’re going to draw the conclusion that the world is in trouble and sliding in to the pit of despair. But is it?

So let’s look around see what’s really happening. What’s going on around you personally? Who are the people around you? What do you see?

When I look around me I see a lot of lightworkers, people who care about humanity and are doing what they can to help. I see people who are generous with their time and friendship. I see people rescuing animals, caring for small children who are sick, and giving the homeless man some money. I see good neighbors who look after other people’s children playing on the street. I see people who meditate, raising their vibration, so they can pass their good cheer on to others. I see people telling the truth, living with integrity and honesty, and paying their taxes even when there are other things they’d like to do with their money. I see people excited to be in a new relationship. I see people studying together, learning and growing together, and passing on their wisdom to their fellow man.

I see good people. Honest, caring, compassionate people.

People don’t want more war, crime, disease, poverty, injustice. The people I know want peace, love, and justice. They’d rather see everyone get what they need than only hoard supplies for themselves. Is that just the people I hang out with? Or is it most people?

Think about the people in your daily life, the ones you interact with the most. Are these good people or evil people? Are they frightened, living in fear? Are they expressing a desire to see war, crime, poverty, and disease continue or are they just trying to make it in this world?

I think that as long as people desire love, peace, and justice then we can achieve it. It’s when people stop caring about these things that we’re truly sunk. As long as there are people out there who care about the well being of the planet, we can make it. We can shift the planet back to love. We can swing the pendulum to peace.

The news might be full of what’s wrong in the world, but it’s up to us to see what’s right in the world. And we see that by looking into the hearts of our fellow man. When I stop seeing love, I’ll know we’re in trouble. Right now, I see love. What do you see? What’s in your own heart?

Be in the world what you want to see in the world. When we are, we become. When the people of the world are love, are peace, we will have love and peace in the world. Do not despair. The light is in your heart and no one can extinguish it unless you let them. Do not fear. There is yet hope.

The state of our world cannot be gauged by what you see on the news, but by what you see in the hearts of men and women the world over. That is what prevails.

Is evil winning? I don’t think so. Not as long as there is love in the hearts of humanity. Hang on to love.

Whenever something really cool happened to Melissa I remember saying in my mind, “I wish I was Melissa.  Her life is so much better than mine.”  These thoughts continued for a long time and repeated every time Melissa was happy or excited and I wasn’t.  Then one day something different happened.  Melissa came to school excited because she and her family were going to take a road trip to the Grand Canyon.  Instantly, the green-eyed monster of jealousy reared her ugly head, “Darnit, I wish I was Melissa!”  But this time a voice in the back of my mind replied and said, “No you don’t.  You wish you were going to the Grand Canyon.  There’s a difference.”  Pardon me? I thought.  Who’s talking?

I continued my dialogue with this new voice.  “But Melissa is so lucky.  Her parents take her everywhere!”  The voice said, “You didn’t think Melissa was so lucky when her mom cancelled trick-or-treating because she hurt her little sister.”  “True,” I conceded, “that really sucked for her.” 

The voice continued, “You didn’t wish you were Melissa when you found out her mom makes her go to bed at 9pm and you get to stay up until 10pm.”  “That’s true too,” I thought back.

Then the voice said, “Melissa’s life is no more perfect than yours.  Stop desiring to be her and simply acknowledge that sometimes Melissa is going to enjoy things that you don’t get to do or have.  Why don’t you just be happy for her?”

I silenced the voice at that point.  It was starting to bug me because it was starting to make sense.  The next time something great happened to Melissa I didn’t have the same ugly reaction.  Instead of wanting to be Melissa, I was able to just tap into my real feelings.  “Melissa must be really excited.  I would be really excited if that was happening to me.”  And I could leave it at that.  I wasn’t at the point where I could be truly happy that Melissa was getting something I wasn’t, but at least I was at a point of understanding and empathizing with her excitement.

As I got older and more aware I started to tap into the feeling that we are all One.  We’re all connected, we’re all part of the same body of humanity.  We’re all pieces of Consciousness.  This brought on feelings of connection, empathy, love, and compassion with all living things on Earth.  When someone was in pain, I felt sad.  When someone was excited, I felt happy.  It was easy for me to tap into a person’s energy and feel what they were feeling.  I started to really appreciate all the experiences other people were having that I wasn’t able to have.  I began to see other people as pieces to a vast puzzle of which I was just a small but integral part. Whenever I encountered someone I would think, “Ah, there goes the piece of me that is a male high school football player.  And over there is the piece of me who is having the experience of being a cheerleader.  And the other day I ran into the part of me that is living homeless on the street.”  I began to feel great compassion for the pieces of me that were obviously suffering, and I began to feel great excitement for the pieces of me who were millionaires or celebrities or highly successful.  But the thing is I felt like they were all part of me.  Their success was my success.  Their suffering was my suffering.

Once this shift happened I was able to feel completely and totally happy for other people’s joys even when I wasn’t experiencing them in my own life.  And I also felt complete and total compassion for those who were suffering when I wasn’t.  When a friend would share good news, I could honestly feel happy for them.  The jealousy wasn’t there.  It would be silly to feel jealous of yourself right?  And that’s how I thought of everyone … as pieces of me.  I can’t possibly experience every single thing that life has to offer.  I’ll never have grown up in Poland.  I’ll never have been a little boy.  But out there, other people have, and I can share their experience through my sense of Oneness.

Today I don’t have to say, “Darnit, I wish I was Melissa” because I’ve learned that I am Melissa.  Some part of me went to the Grand Canyon on a road trip when I was a kid. 

When you feel jealous of other people’s successes you’re just disconnecting from the collective consciousness.  Share in their joy instead.  And when something bad happens to someone else and you think, “Thank God that wasn’t me,” stop yourself, because it was you.  Send compassion and love to those around you who are suffering, as you would want them to do for you.

When you are comfortable with who you are and what you have, you’ll stop being jealous of others’ successes and rewards.  I have some friends who are genuinely happy for me when I share good news, and I have other friends who get quiet and can’t even muster an “oh, goodie goodie gum drops for you.”  It’s not the news itself that causes this reaction, otherwise I’d get the same reaction from everyone.  Invariably, the people who aren’t happy with their lives just can’t seem to be happy for me when something great happens, and the people who are happy with who they are and what they have are always excited for me.  Which kind of friends do you have?

More importantly, which type of friend are you?