If a spirit decides to linger, they will often “hang out” in their home, or where they died, or around loved ones. This can result in a haunting, which sounds worse than it is, because most spirits are benign. Occasionally you’ll get a nasty spirit who wants to harm you or scare you, but most often they’re just lingering, hoping for connection, or hoping to stay out of hell (can’t blame them for that, although there is no real hell so it’s a real shame they feel the need to hover).

So what can you do? Is there a way to help a spirit cross over into the light, into the warm loving embrace of Source, where they will merge back with Love? Yes there is.

Untimely Death
Someone who dies unexpectedly often can’t let go right away. Perhaps they have unfinished business. Perhaps they feel they need to get a message to a loved one before they cross over, believing that once they cross over they won’t be able to make contact.

If this is the type of lingering spirit you’ve got, then your best bet is to give them their say. If you know how to communicate with the dead, tune in and let them tell you what they need to tell you. I’ve had spirits tell me where their will is, what their computer password is for their family, and the name of their murderer. If you are not skilled in this, contact a good medium and see if he or she can channel a message for you. If you want to communicate on your own, develop your intuitive modalities, learn to lucid dream, or raise your vibration and meditate your way into a conversation with them.

Once they feel they’ve been heard, they will cross over.

Death by Suicide
When people take their own life, often they feel regret, guilt, or shame once it’s done. Some don’t feel they deserve to be in “heaven” so they keep themselves here. Some carry with them such a strong feeling of remorse, that they just can’t go on. They stick around, beseeching their loved ones for understanding and forgiveness, and sometimes there is unfinished business as well.

If this is the type of spirit lingering around you, send them forgiveness and understanding as best you can. Maybe that can’t happen right away, but the spirit needs to know it’s okay to move on and that you forgive them. Use the same methods described above to connect with them.

Once they feel forgiven they often cross over.

Murderers
One of the most common spirits that linger are those that fear they are going to hell. They know they’ve done wrong and can’t imagine being forgiven. Unfortunately, when they linger it’s usually not a good thing. Their fear, anger, and guilt can cause them to become mean and nasty while in limbo. Their energy is often dark, low and negative. This may manifest in ways that scare you or can even harm you. You want to get them unattached from you or your location as soon as possible.

For this type of spirit, I don’t really recommend talking to them if you don’t have experience with psychic self-defense or mediumship. It can turn ugly on you real fast. Contact a paranormal investigation team, or a medium experienced with these types of spirits and leave it to them. Otherwise you risk losing a lot of your energy as they siphon it away from you, or of anchoring them to your location, or attaching them to your person. It’s no good any way you slice it.

If you are a medium
If you are a medium and are called in to help cross over a spirit, the first thing you want to do is make contact with them. It’s helpful if you have a member of their family present who can help you verify what the spirit is telling you.

Once you’ve established communication, pass along any messages from them to their family and vice versa. Sometimes a conversation is all they need to release their hold on this life. If no family is present, then reassure the spirit that you will pass along the messages if you can, or if there is no family you can connect with, then simply listen and reassure them that they no longer need to worry about what’s going on here, and that they can safely and comfortably release and cross over.

Most often a spirit will be happy to let go and move on. If you connect with a spirit who stubbornly refuses to cross over, especially one that is bothering a family or person or location, then you’ll have to call in the big guns. Ask archangel Michael to assist you by either escorting the spirit across the threshold or by offering a shield to the family or location so that the spirit can’t bother them anymore. Be sure you advise the family how to prevent themselves from unwittingly inviting the spirit back.

Bottom Line
You can talk to anyone who has crossed over and they will hear you. You can talk to them out loud or telepathically, as long as you’re thinking about them hard and directing your energy at them, they will receive the message. You may not always hear them back if you don’t know how to tune in to energy from the other side, but at the very least you can rest assured knowing they DO hear you. Send reassurance, love, forgiveness, and compassion to those who linger. It’s in everyone’s best interest for those that have died to cross over fully.

Answer: On the other side there are no days, and we don’t have bodies, so definitely no eating, drinking, sleeping, or playing the harp.

Spirits on the other side do many things. They do “hang out” with other spirits they know. They commune with each other, share information, ideas, and philosophy.

Some spirits become spirit guides, so they actively work to help guide incarnated souls on their journeys.

Some spirits continue their “studies” on the other side, going to a sort of “school” as it would seem to us.

Spirits experience; anything and everything they want to. They travel the cosmos and meet other beings.

Some spirits help other spirits cross over. Some assist in the Akashic Records.

On the other side, we are energy, not matter, but we retain our consciousness. We look in on our loved ones, we plan our next life, and share our energy with others. It’s unlike our lives here in many ways, but it should be interesting for sure.

An earthbound spirit is one who chooses not to cross over when their physical existence ends. We are all given the opportunity to re-engage with Source when we die, but you don’t have to cross over if you don’t want to. You can resist the light and stay earthbound, half-way between living and dead, a disembodied spirit who is still attuned to this plane. So why would a soul choose to stay behind? The souls I have encountered during readings who have remained earthbound are here for a few reasons.

Some fear judgment.
If you believed you were going to Hell, like say for murdering someone, how fast would you want to get there? Perhaps you might want to slow down the process a bit or even stay off the grid so you can’t be sent there right? Some people fear God’s judgment so they resist the light and stay earthbound. To them, this is preferable to going to Hell. If Hell existed, I might agree with them, so it’s a real shame that some people remain earthbound instead of crossing over. There is nothing you could have done on this earth that would cause Source to turn its back on you. You will be forgiven if you can forgive yourself. This includes those who commit suicide.

Some have unfinished business.
I’ve encountered people who were murdered and are hanging around waiting to see if their murderer will be brought to justice. I’ve also seen family members hang out waiting for another family member to cross over. This is unnecessary but if the timing is close, I can see why people hang out.

Some aren’t aware they’re dead.
Believe it or not, there are spirits wandering around out there who aren’t clear on the fact that they’ve died. Your mind is powerful. If you die unexpectedly or you were extremely committed to living, it could take days or even weeks to get the clue. You could end up haunting your old haunts, hanging out in your old house, trying to get the attention of the living and wondering why they can’t hear you. If you ever find your spirit instantly severed from your body, it could take a little while to realize what’s happened. If you’re ever in a situation where you suspect you might be dead, try walking through a wall. If you can, you’re probably dead.

Some aren’t ready to go.
Some people cling to life as best they can because they simply aren’t ready to leave it. Sometimes people stay earthbound because they can’t leave their loved ones, such as children. This can also happen if you are extremely passionate about your life or simply having a fantastic time.

All of the above situations are unnecessary. When you actually do cross over, you are not judged and sent to Hell, you can still finish your unfinished business, and you can still watch over your loved ones from the other side. For those that are lost or unaware that they are dead, they do usually figure it out. If they don’t, a good medium can help cross them over.

The vast majority of people die and cross over just fine, so I don’t want you to worry that your loved one didn’t “make it” to the other side. People find their way there eventually. Guides and angels on the other side take care of our loved ones who are still earthbound and, when they are ready, these guides and angels help them cross over. If you are being haunted, find a medium and ask them to help you cross over an earthbound spirit.

Send love to your dearly departed
Those who have crossed over can still receive our loving thoughts and feelings. When you send love to the other side it goes there as a form of energy that they can receive. If it’s not too painful for you, think about your loved ones on the other side right now. Send them some love, a smile, or a thought you want to share. Let them know you’re thinking about them, and that you love them. Then sit back and see if you can see, hear, know, or feel their response. Although the distance may seem ridiculously great, the other side is actually not that far away at all. Your loved ones are really just a thought away.

If you’ve been following my blog for a long time you’ll know that a good portion of my blog articles are about the other side and what happens when we die. In fact, when I went through the entire blog I found that 86 of my articles contain information about the other side. If you haven’t read them all, here is your chance to get them all in one ebook, logically sorted by categories, 249 pages of afterlife goodness.

To sweeten the deal, the ebook comes with two free bonuses that are exclusive to this product. The first is an audio podcast (mp3) detailing what happens to you before you are born, while you are here, and after you die. It’s called A Tour of the Other Side.

The second bonus is a pdf called 25 Questions to Ask Your Guides. It includes an easy method for tuning in to your guides, plus 25 questions to ask them to get the conversation started.

To learn more about the book and to get your instant download of the ebook and free bonuses, go here:

The Other Side: Spirits, Guides and the Afterlife by Erin Pavlina

Answer:  When I was a teenager a lot of scary beings used to visit me.  I was able to take control of the situation and open up a can of astral whoop ass on them, but I don’t recommend that approach for most people.

In my twenties I shut down my psychic abilities as best I could so I could get away from that life.  That worked pretty well for a while.  When I met Steve, though, he encouraged me to reopen that part of myself and continue exploring.  I found that when I opened up to the psychic realm as an adult, it wasn’t scary anymore.  This was due in large part to the fact that my vibration had changed.  I was no longer susceptible to fear.  I was vibrating a lot closer to love, so those darker entities just didn’t bother me.  We were not on the same channel anymore.

But like you, I was always afraid that ghosts or spirits would try to get my attention by appearing in my bedroom at night, in the dark, and scare me.  I could easily see having a heart attack if that happened!  When I started to see I had an ability that could help others, though, I knew I had to somehow get over my fear.

That’s when the tv show, Ghost Whisperer, came to my rescue.  In this show the main character, Melinda Gordon, is a medium who regularly sees and talks to spirits.  When they appear to her, they almost always startle her, but she is never afraid of them.  That’s when I realized that being startled is different than being afraid.  I decided that if I had to, I could live with being startled.  So I made a deal with my guides, telling them I would open myself back up to these psychic abilities I’d had practically my whole life, as long as they knew I didn’t want to see dead people in my room in the middle of the night.  And I told them if seeing the spirits in my room at night was the only way to help them, I would learn to deal with it.

As it turns out, I needn’t have worried.  I have a conduit guide named Bob that prevents spirits from presenting to me unless I’m working.  Only three times in the last three years have I had a spirit present to me when I wasn’t officially working.  All three came in very gently with me though, and all three came at night.  When you think about it, why would they want to scare me?  If I’m scared, I’m not going to be able to help them.

I did do a reading once where a spirit appeared to me in my White Room (the mental construct I go to when I do readings) and she nearly gave me a heart attack.  She had shot herself in the face and showed me the whole image.  And she was standing right over me.  It took me a moment to collect myself and I was quite startled.  She wasn’t trying to frighten me, she was just in an intense situation and probably didn’t know that I would react so strongly to her grisly visage. 

So my advice is to get a clear connection with your guides and tell them what you are and are not willing to tolerate.  Also, make sure you vibrate at a reasonably high frequency normally.  If you’re depressed, angry, sad, ashamed, or guilty you might attract lower vibrational beings when you open yourself up.  And lastly, decide in advance that if a spirit does show up, you’ll only be startled and not afraid.  They aren’t there to hurt you.   They’re there to reach out for your help.  If you have this gift, think of all the good you can do with it.  Don’t let a little fear stop you.

Answer:  Thoughts are energy.  Think of your thoughts as little energy waves that go out into the universe, much like sound is generated on our planet.  If you send it, someone can receive it.  That doesn’t mean someone is always listening.  If a tree falls in the forest and there’s no one around to hear it, does it make a sound?  Your thoughts generate an energy wave capable of being heard by any number of beings, but if no one is tuned in to you, they won’t hear it. 

Think of your thoughts like email.  If you want one specific person on the other side to hear your thoughts, you want to “address” that thought directly and individually to that person.  “Mom, I miss you.  I love you.  I hope you’re well on the other side.”  Or you can send out a spiritual email to everyone on your friends list. “Sending you all love and light.  Can’t wait to see you again.  Thanks for being there for me and watching out for me.”  In an urgent situation?  Spam the thought, “Help!  I need help!  Can anyone out there help me?” 

You don’t have to speak out loud for spirits to hear you.  Thoughts are enough.  You just want to put some energy into the thought so those on the other side are “pinged.”  You’re not tuned in to their broadcasts all day long and believe me, they’re not tuned in to yours.  It’s not like they’re hovering around you listening to your every thought.  They’ve got things to do, places to go, and people to see.  If you want their attention, direct your energy to notifying them.  “You’ve got mail,” or the like.  Don’t think in all-caps though, that’s a big turn-off there as well as here!

Do your deceased parents know what you’re doing?  If they want to, yes.  But don’t worry, they’re not going to judge you.  They understand that you are “in school” and they know you will learn your lessons.  But if you feel guilty about something you’re planning to do, don’t do it.

Now, how many spiritual emails do you have sitting in your inbox?  Don’t think the communication only goes one way.  Your spirit guides, higher self, and deceased relatives could all be trying to tell you something.  Are you tuned in and listening?  Do you know how to check your own spiritual email?  You can do this in many different ways.  Through dreams (particularly lucid dreams), through meditation, or through automatic writing to name a few.  You can also consult a psychic medium like myself who can retrieve messages for you.  Really that’s what I’m doing when I do readings with people.  I’m checking in with your posse on the other side to bring you their messages that you aren’t receiving on your own.

My guides send me a ping or feeling when they’ve got something they want to tell me.  Steve’s guides get my attention too, so sometimes I go up to him and say, “Sit down.  I’ve got some messages for you.”  If I haven’t been checking in with my guides or if I’m avoiding hearing something, then sometimes Steve comes up to me and says, “Your guides are knocking.  Sit down.  I’ve got some messages for you.”  Sometimes I’ll even get pings from guides of people I’ve read for in the past.  It’s like once they get my spiritual email address they think they can just send me email all the time!  Many times I’ve received word from the guides of a previous client, and sure enough a day or so later that client has booked another reading, because they too sense a message wants to come through.

Bottom line is, yes the dead can hear our thoughts, they’re not always listening, and they know what you did last summer.  Be responsible out there.