Do you sometimes wish you could be more organized? More productive? Do you wish you were more honest or kind? Do you want to be more attractive? Do you crave better health? Are there just some parts of yourself you hate and want to change? Recently I realized that becoming the person you really want to be is totally possible and in fact simple. I didn’t say easy, but the steps are actually quite simple to understand. I believe that if you follow these steps you really can become the person you truly want to be.
First, you have to identify what you want. Simply identifying what you don’t want isn’t enough. You don’t want to say, “I hate that I’m always late.” Instead you’ll want to say, “My ideal self is punctual.” Who is your ideal self? Ignoring who you are right now, just make a list of the qualities, character traits, and attributes of your ideal self. It’s not about what you think you can attain, it’s about what you want to attain. Here’s an example list which is obviously not exhaustive:
Read this list of values to help you determine your ideal traits.
You can’t reach your ideal if you don’t know what you’re reaching for. So make your list as exhaustive as you need to in order to feel like if you were all the things on your list you’d be really happy with yourself.
Take An Inventory
Now look at your list and put a check mark next to all the attributes you have already. If you’re already honest and compassionate, check them off your list. Whatever attributes are left are the ones where you’re currently challenged. Those are the ones you’re going to work on attaining.
Adopt New Habits
Pick one or two attributes on your list and start working on them. If you want to be more punctual, for example, start giving yourself an extra 15 minutes to get where you need to go. Even if you’re early, it’s better than being late. If you want to be healthy and you don’t currently have good health, begin adopting a few habits that will lead you to greater health. For example if you don’t currently exercise, start walking 5 minutes a day, and gradually ramp it up to 10 then 20 and then 30. When you’re able, increase your exercise and continue to challenge yourself in this area. Work on your diet too until you’ve achieved the state of health you desire.
I don’t suggest working on more than 2 or 3 attributes at the same time because that involves a lot of change and you don’t want to get discouraged. Instead, plug away steadily on a few at a time.
Be very conscious of the attributes you’re working on. It helps to tell others what you’re working on so they can help reinforce your changes. If you’ve decided to quit smoking you may need to tell the other smokers in your life what you’re doing so they can support you.
Delete Attributes and Qualities That No Longer Serve You
While you’re adding qualities and characteristics of the ideal you, start deleting the old attributes that no longer serve you. Does your ideal self drink coffee? Does your ideal self hang up on her mother when she argues with her? Does your ideal self ignore homeless people? Does your ideal self start his day with 6 Krispy Kreme donuts? Drop any habits that are not going to be part of your new package. Dropping an old habit is not the same thing as adopting a new attribute. You have to consciously delete old programming and consciously create new programming. Simply dropping bad habits won’t instill good ones.
Repeat Until You Reach Your Goal
After you’ve instilled a new character trait or attribute, check it off your list and pick another one to work on. Pick an attribute you want to delete and work on deleting it. Keep working on your list until you are exactly the kind of person you want to be and you no longer have habits or character traits you don’t want.
It really is that simple. Out with the old, in with the new. One day you’ll wake up and realize you’re exactly the way you want to be. It will feel awesome! You’ll be totally congruent with yourself. It’s like being in vibrational harmony with yourself. It may take years, but it’s definitely worth the effort.