Why Do Deceased People Go To Some Members of a Family But Not Others?

I get asked this question often during readings and via email. “My husband passed away and I have been trying really hard to get a message from him but I’ve gotten nothing. Meanwhile, my nephew and my mom get visitations all the time. Why isn’t he coming to me??”

Well, he probably IS coming to you but you are not receiving his message, you are not detecting his presence.

Let me explain how things work on the other side and perhaps it will make more sense.

When a person arrives on the other side they now consist of pure energy and consciousness. This is a huge transformation. There is no body anymore so there are no vocal cords to speak with. All communication is energetic or telepathic.

Now let’s say the person desperately wants to let his people back on Earth know he is safe and well. How does he do that? He can’t just pick up a phone or send an email can he? He has to reach out energetically because that’s the only capability he now has.

He can try to come to you in a dream, he can possibly move physical objects around you, he can potentially try to get your attention with a song on the radio, or he can speak to you clairaudiently. But it takes some practice for a spirit to be able to reach through to this dimension to communicate. They don’t arrive to the other side knowing how to do this automatically.

So let’s say he’s ready to communicate. He is hovering around you, but you don’t feel or sense him because maybe that’s not how YOU receive communication from the other side.

So then he tries to come to you through one of your dreams, but the night he tries it is the night you took a sleeping pill and your brain can’t receive communication from the other side in that condition. He misses you again.

So then let’s say he tries to get a song to play on the radio, your favorite song, the one you two danced to at your wedding. He gets it all arranged but you decide to check your email before you get in the car to go to the grocery store and you miss the song.

Undeterred, he dances around in front of the family dog who goes crazy barking, but you think the dog is just barking at the door so you let him out to play in the backyard.

The next night you go to sleep and beg for your husband to send you a sign that he’s okay. He is sitting next to you on the bed, speaking but you don’t hear him because you’re waiting for him to come in a dream. You ask him to knock over the picture on the nightstand, and he tries, but he is unable, and you conclude he’s not around.

Frustrated, he goes to other members of the family, hoping one of them can detect his communication and get a message to you. He sends the message to 18 members of your family, but in the morning it’s only your nephew who remembers the dream of his Uncle. He calls you and says “Hey, I had a dream about Uncle Bill last night. He said he’s still around, loves you very much, and he can hear you when you talk to him. He said he is fine on the other side.”

In frustration you say, “Why can’t he come to me!?!?”

As you can see, it’s not a simple matter for the dead to communicate with the living.

If you want to increase your chances of receiving communication, this is what I recommend.

Practice your dreaming skills. If you can’t remember your dreams then even if someone comes to you and you have a beautiful moment, you may not remember it. Get better at dream recall.

Don’t ask them to perform heavy physical feats. They are not physical and it is not easy to knock over pictures or move objects in this plane from that plane.

Meditate a lot. Sit quietly and consciously and get yourself to a super high vibration. Then ask for your deceased loved one to reach out to you.

Practice your clair abilities. If you can use clairvoyance, clairaudience, clairsentience, or claircognizance yourself, it will be much easier for you to connect with someone on the other side. It’s like both of you learning a new language so you can speak to each other using it.

Be patient. It can sometimes take months or even years to get clear communication. Sometimes a deceased person isn’t making a huge effort to communicate for a wide variety of reasons. Don’t take it personally and don’t worry about them.

Be grateful when someone you know brings you communication. Perhaps it’s not as satisfying as receiving the communication yourself, but other people you know may just be more sensitive to spirit communication. If someone tells you your loved one is okay, take some solace in that.

Most of the time, our loved ones ARE trying to reach back to us to let us know they are okay. Work on receiving that energy and you will feel it. It takes practice but it’s well worth the time to get that kind of validation.

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