Is Our Sex Predetermined?

Recently a reader asked me if we get to decide whether we will be born a male or a female.  

I’ll explain how that works from the perspective of incarnation.

Who decides if we will reincarnate?

Reincarnation is your choice, not God’s or anyone else’s.  You are a free will soul and if you want to come back to Earth it’s your choice.

So do we pick our parents?

You will attempt to choose parents who can best nurture you into a life intention your higher self chooses for you before you are born.  So, for example, if you really want to come here to experience physicality in all it’s might and glory, you might look for parents who do sports, or who are sex therapists, or who work for Cirque du Soleil.  

If you want to advance medicine, you might look for parents who are doctors, researchers, or who may be suffering from a rare disease that is aching to be cured by someone who has experience around it.  

How long would we wait for those parents to become available?

Yeah, so that’s the rub.  You could wait longer than you want to for just the right parents to procreate.  For example, you may see that two people who are currently together would make really suitable parents, but if they aren’t “doing the dance,” you may never have an opportunity to be born.  You could wait a long time or it’s possible it may never happen.

So what would you do then?

You would search for other suitable parents.  They may not be your first choice, but there are certainly many paths to your goal.  

Perhaps one parent would be a great role model for you while the other may be more neutral towards your intention.  That’s okay, you can still reach your goal.

Sometimes getting here is more important than what kind of horse you rode in on.

So would you ever choose parents randomly just to get to Earth quickly?

Yes, I see this all the time in my readings with clients.  Sometimes the window to accomplish a life intention is small and you need to be here, now, under any circumstances.  

In these cases, I have seen souls allow themselves to be born into abusive families, or families with little means to care for a child, or into a family that might give their baby up for adoption.

Having the most suitable parents isn’t the only path to success here.  If your drive is strong enough, your birth circumstances will not stop you from finding a way onto your path.

So, do we get to select our sex?

You can set an intention to be born male or female, but I’ve got to tell you that sex determination has more to do with our physical vessels than our spiritual intent.  When the sperm and egg meet the die is cast.  Your chromosomes and DNA will determine the sex of your physical body.

What if we feel that our intention is best served as a specific sex, but that’s not what we get?

I did a future life reading for a gal and her guides showed me how her options and trajectories would change based on whether she ended up being male or female in her next life.  It was fascinating.  

Her intention in that life was related to natural health.  As a male, that trajectory would likely lead to forming a natural health product company with a partner in another country who was her father in her current life.

If she was female, they showed me she would become more of an online personality with a large following and turn that into a platform to show people how to live healthy using natural products.

Whether you get the physical body you wanted or not, your guides will help you find a way to manifest your life intention no matter what.

So to sum all that up, you cannot control what sex you will be when you are born. From the perspective of the other side, though, it isn’t that important to your life intention.  Your power, perseverance and ingenuity will allow you to overcome or surpass any limitations you encounter by being male or female.

You will find your way!

Share this article:


Get a reading with Erin


Improve your career, relationships, finances, health and more. Your spirit guides will help you get what you desire in life. Don’t wait, book a reading now!