My best friend, Rochie, died on my 22nd birthday. It was so sudden and unexpected that I had a lot of trouble processing it.
I had to call a mutual friend of ours and break the bad news. This friend said, “Do you think she knew I loved her?”
I said “Of course she did.”
And she replied, “No, we had a big fight before her trip and I said some horrible things. She died knowing I was angry with her. I can’t forgive myself.”
That hit hard. I was lucky because when I said goodbye to Rochie before her trip, we both expressed how much we loved each other and I told her to have a good time.
Then she drowned on a scuba diving trip, a young life ended way too early.
The Pain of Not Getting to Say Goodbye
I have done thousands of readings over the years and one thing I see over and over again is the deep ache people carry when a loved one passes suddenly and they never got to say goodbye.
Sudden loss leaves a hole that feels raw and unresolved. There is no warning, no final conversation, no moment to speak from the heart. It is one of the most painful parts of grief because the mind keeps looping around what you wish you had said.
Why It Matters to Speak From the Heart
I like to encourage people to tell their loved ones how much they mean to them while they are still here.
We spend so much of our lives assuming we will have more time. We assume they know how we feel. We assume they will always be there to hear it later. But later sometimes never comes.
When you tell someone what they mean to you, you give them a powerful gift. You give them the gift of knowing their life has touched yours. You affirm that their presence has mattered. You validate their impact and you allow them to feel seen, appreciated, and valued.
I have watched people light up when they hear the truth of how they have shaped someone’s life. It often means more to them than we realize.
Sharing the Moments That Matter
I think it’s important to share the big things and the small things. Tell them you love them. Tell them they made you laugh. Tell them they inspired you to be brave or kind or patient. Tell them you admire how they handle adversity. Tell them you appreciate that they picked you up when you were low or that they pushed you to believe in yourself.
These moments of honesty weave a deeper connection and they create memories that last long after someone leaves this Earth.
Ways to Say Goodbye Before a Loved One Is Gone
There are many ways to say goodbye before a loved one crosses over. It does not always have to be a heavy or dramatic moment.
It can be a quiet conversation during a visit.
It can be a heartfelt letter you place in their hands.
It can be a phone call where you speak openly and clearly.
It can be sitting at the bedside holding their hand and sharing stories from your life.
It can even be spiritual. You can close your eyes, breathe deeply, and speak to their soul with sincerity and love.
Saying Goodbye Does Not Mean Giving Up
Sometimes people worry that saying goodbye means you are giving up on them or that you expect the end to come soon.
I see it differently. I see it as honoring the relationship and acknowledging the truth of being human.
None of us knows how much time we have.
Speaking from the heart does not hasten someone’s death. It strengthens the bond between you and creates peace for both of you.
Say It Now, While You Still Can
If you have someone in your life that you love deeply, consider sharing those feelings now. Do not wait for an illness to progress or for life to force the moment upon you.
Say the words while their ears can hear them and their heart can feel them.
You will carry great comfort knowing you expressed your truth. And they will carry your love with them on their journey, both in this world and the next.
Now is always the right time to speak from your heart.
