Imagine someone dies because of another person’s actions. Maybe they were murdered. Maybe they were abused for years. Maybe someone betrayed them, stole from them, ruined their life, or caused them tremendous suffering.
What happens when that person crosses over?
Do they look back at the person who hurt them and think, “You’re going to pay for what you did to me”?
Do they haunt them? Torment them? Try to ruin their life from the other side? Do they wait patiently for that person to die so they can finally settle the score?
I’ve communicated with thousands of deceased people during readings, including people who died violently or under incredibly painful circumstances. And one thing I’ve learned is that revenge doesn’t seem to be part of the agenda on the other side.
That can be difficult for us to understand because we’re looking at the situation through human eyes.
But souls don’t see things the way we do.
It Would Be Like Hurting Their Own Body
One of the biggest shifts that occurs when we cross over is that we remember our connection to everyone else.
While we’re incarnated, we experience ourselves as separate individuals. I’m me. You’re you. You can hurt me, and I can hurt you.
But at the soul level, that separation isn’t nearly as pronounced.
Imagine your right hand becoming angry at your left hand and deciding to punish it. Your right hand could certainly injure your left hand, but ultimately they’re both part of the same body.
That’s much closer to how souls perceive one another.
This doesn’t mean souls suddenly approve of everything everyone did on Earth. It doesn’t mean murder, abuse, cruelty, or betrayal suddenly becomes acceptable.
It means the soul understands that harming another soul ultimately doesn’t accomplish anything. There’s no satisfaction in perpetuating suffering because the connection between souls is much more apparent on the other side.
Hurting you would, in a very real sense, be hurting themselves.
Justice Is Largely a Human Concept
Here on Earth, justice matters.
We need laws, courts, consequences, boundaries, and systems designed to protect people from those who would harm them. If someone commits a terrible crime, there may absolutely need to be consequences for that crime.
But those systems exist because we’re living in a physical society.
Souls don’t need a celestial courtroom.
They don’t need to see someone sentenced to 30 years in spirit prison. They don’t need compensation. They don’t need an apology before they’re allowed to move forward.
Once someone crosses over, they have access to a much broader understanding of what happened.
They can see the circumstances surrounding their death. They can understand the people involved. They can see the choices that were made and the consequences that rippled outward from those choices.
They don’t need justice in the same way humans do because they have something much more powerful: understanding.
Getting Even Doesn’t Heal Anything
Revenge is based on the idea that if someone caused me pain, causing them pain will somehow restore the balance.
You hurt me, so I’ll hurt you.
You took something from me, so I’ll take something from you.
You made me suffer, so now I want you to suffer.
But souls aren’t trying to balance a cosmic spreadsheet.
They aren’t sitting on the other side thinking, “She caused me 47 units of suffering, so I need to send 47 units of suffering back.”
From the soul’s perspective, creating more pain doesn’t erase the original pain.
If anything, it just creates more pain.
Souls are interested in growth, healing, understanding, compassion, and evolution. Revenge doesn’t serve any of those purposes.
Souls Can See More of the Story
This is probably one of the biggest differences between our perspective and theirs.
As human beings, we see a tiny portion of the story. We know what happened to us. We know how it felt. We know what someone did.
But after death, consciousness expands.
A soul may be able to understand the childhood of the person who harmed them, the trauma that shaped them, the fears that drove them, the choices that led them down a destructive path, and the opportunities they had to make different choices.
Again, understanding isn’t the same thing as excusing.
If someone murders another person, the deceased soul doesn’t necessarily say, “Oh, now that I understand why you did it, it’s perfectly fine.”
It wasn’t fine.
But understanding often removes the need to hate.
When you can see the entire chain of events instead of only the moment in which you were harmed, the situation looks very different.
They Know Death Didn’t Destroy Them
There’s another enormous difference between the deceased and those of us still living.
They know they’re alive.
Imagine how differently you might feel about someone who killed you if, immediately afterward, you discovered that you hadn’t actually ceased to exist.
You still think.
You still feel.
You still love.
You still have relationships.
You still have experiences.
You still have a future.
Your physical life ended, and that matters. Perhaps you left children behind. Perhaps you had plans you desperately wanted to fulfill. Perhaps your death caused tremendous grief for the people who loved you.
The soul can acknowledge all of that.
But the soul also knows something we sometimes forget while we’re here:
Death didn’t destroy them.
Their existence continued.
That alone changes the emotional equation tremendously.
They Don’t Need You to Suffer
Sometimes grieving people wonder whether their deceased loved one wants the person responsible for their death to suffer.
Usually, what I encounter is quite different.
The deceased person may recognize that the person who harmed them has created consequences for themselves through their own choices. Those consequences might involve prison, broken relationships, guilt, isolation, fear, regret, or eventually facing a much deeper understanding of what they did.
The soul doesn’t need to orchestrate additional suffering. In many cases, the consequences are already built into the choices themselves.
When we hurt other people, we affect our own path as well. The soul understands this. It doesn’t have to become the executioner.
What About Karma?
People sometimes imagine karma as a spiritual revenge system.
“You killed me in this life, so I’ll kill you in the next one.”
That’s not how I see karma.
Karma isn’t punishment. It’s learning.
A soul may eventually choose experiences that help it understand the impact of choices it made in another lifetime. There may be opportunities to repair relationships, experience another perspective, or develop qualities that were lacking before.
But that’s very different from revenge.
The universe isn’t keeping a list of people who need to be punished. It’s creating opportunities for souls to grow.
What About Ghosts Who Seem Angry?
There are certainly spirits who appear angry, confused, frightened, territorial, or emotionally attached to what happened to them.
That doesn’t necessarily mean they’re seeking revenge.
A spirit can remain emotionally connected to the circumstances of their death, especially if the death was sudden, traumatic, or confusing. They may replay aspects of what happened or remain focused on a person, place, or event.
But that’s different from a soul deliberately deciding to punish someone.
And once that spirit gains greater awareness of their situation and reconnects more fully with the spirit world, that human anger tends to lose its grip.
The more expansive the soul’s perspective becomes, the less appealing revenge becomes.
Souls Don’t Want to Become What Hurt Them
There’s also a very basic spiritual contradiction inherent in revenge.
If someone caused suffering and the deceased soul responds by deliberately causing more suffering, what has been accomplished?
Nothing has been healed. Nothing has been learned. Nothing has been transformed.
The victim has simply become another source of pain.
Souls aren’t interested in becoming the thing that harmed them. They’re interested in moving beyond it.
The Soul’s Goal Is Growth, Not Retribution
From what I’ve experienced communicating with the deceased, souls seem much more interested in what can be learned from an experience than in who deserves punishment for it.
They see the larger picture.
They understand that everyone involved is on an evolutionary journey, even those who made terrible choices.
That doesn’t erase responsibility. It doesn’t mean people shouldn’t face consequences while they’re alive. And it certainly doesn’t mean victims or their families are required to forgive someone before they’re ready.
But the soul isn’t standing on the other side with clenched fists waiting for an opportunity to strike back.
It’s looking at the experience from a much higher vantage point.
What happened? Why did it happen? What did everyone involved learn? What happens next?
Those are questions of evolution.
Revenge is about staying connected to the wound.
Souls are trying to heal it.
You Don’t Have to Seek Revenge on Their Behalf
If you’ve lost someone because of another person’s actions, you may feel enormous anger toward the person responsible.
That’s human.
You may want justice. You may want accountability. You may want that person to understand the magnitude of what they did.
There’s nothing spiritually wrong with wanting someone to be held accountable.
But you don’t have to carry hatred for the rest of your life because you believe your deceased loved one needs you to.
They don’t.
Your loved one isn’t standing beside you whispering, “Don’t let this go. Stay angry for me.”
If anything, they would want you to eventually release yourself from the emotional prison created by what happened.
Seek justice if justice needs to be sought. Set boundaries where boundaries are needed. Protect yourself and others.
But don’t confuse justice with revenge.
Your deceased loved one has already discovered something incredibly important.
Their story didn’t end with what happened to them. And neither does yours.
