Sometimes during readings my clients are told that they are not performing enough self-care, that they’re aren’t loving themselves enough.
The type of people who hear this from their guides are often the people pleasers of the world. Those who spend most of their energy helping others with very little time left to help themselves.
These are folks who maybe don’t have people around them who can be loving and supportive towards them, so the client must find time to perform their own self-care.
Inevitably, the clients ask, “How do I know if I’m loving myself enough? What does that even mean?”
For those who aren’t accustomed to self-care, that’s a very valid question.
Ask yourself this question. “Are my needs being met?”
If you can answer yes, you are loving yourself.
If you answer no then you need to listen up.
Self-care is really important. Ensuring that your needs are met is like filling up your gas tank. I know you love helping others, that you get joy from that, but you’ve got to get your needs met too or you’re going to become depressed, fatigued, anxious, sad, and even resentful of those whose needs are being met.
And then you’ll stop helping others because you’ll have nothing left to give.
So how do you get those needs met?
First, identify the needs. What makes you feel loved and cared for?
Is it receiving praise and acknowledgement for your efforts?
Does it involve a pedicure, a spa day, or a paraffin wax?
Is it spending time out with friends socializing and letting your cares melt away?
Maybe it’s being alone in nature or floating in a boat on a lake?
Maybe it’s as simple as sitting down for 10 minutes a day with a cup of tea and your favorite magazine.
Whatever fills your tank, whatever restores your balance and energy is what you want to identify.
Next look at your list and ask yourself if it’s something you can do for yourself or if it involves other people.
If it’s something you can do for yourself, that’s great, because no one can stop you from doing it except you.
But if it’s something that requires other people’s involvement then ask yourself if you have an infrastructure in place to obtain this with those people.
For example, if you love socializing with friends, make a list of the friends you love to hang out with and schedule a monthly or weekly date with them.
It might be harder to get some needs met than others, so make a good long list of things that make you feel fantastic.
Next you need to schedule these things into your life. They probably won’t happen automatically or you would already feel well taken care of.
So schedule in as many of these as you can, and don’t feel remotely guilty for doing them or receiving them. You can’t help others if you’re on empty.
You’ll know you’re loving yourself enough when you honestly feel like your needs are being met, when you feel that sense of balance between giving and receiving.
Do not push your needs to the back burner. It doesn’t benefit anyone. You matter. You deserve to have your needs met. See what happens when you start caring for your needs.