A lot of times when I’m doing readings for clients, their guides bring up information about the people who are closest to them, like partners, family, friends, and co-workers.
From what I’ve been able to discern from working with thousands of clients is that who you relate to most often and who you spend your time with has a significant impact on the direction and quality of your life. It even impacts your odds of success and fulfillment.
The level of understanding and support you receive from the people closest to you can determine whether you are happy or sad, on path or off path, successful or unsuccessful.
Sometimes during readings the guides will specifically say “Don’t share this dream with so-and-so, they won’t support you, you’ll second guess yourself, and ultimately you’ll choose not to pursue your dream.”
Or the guides will say ,”You’ve got really supportive friends and family. If you share this dream with them, you’ll achieve it faster because they’ve got resources they can offer you.”
Who you spend your time with is so important that it’s critical that you take inventory periodically and at the very least identify who in your life is toxic and holding you back, and who in your life is supportive and lifting you up. It really can make or break you.
Here’s an exercise you can do to help you determine who in your life is supportive and who will be toxic to your dreams.
Make a list of the people closest to you. These are people you see or talk to on a regular basis. These are people who are in a position to comment on what you’re doing with your life. Write the names down the left side of a sheet of paper.
Next ask yourself if each person tends to be supportive of you and legitimately wants you to succeed or whether the person is always trying to talk you out of doing what you desire. You can put “supportive” or “unsupportive” next to their names.
Now look at the people who are unsupportive. Ideally, you don’t want to go to those people and share your dreams and desires. If they aren’t going to support you in your dreams, then they are putting shackles on your happiness.
But what if that “unsupportive” person makes good points and they’re often right about what you are and aren’t capable of?
A truly supportive person will listen to you talk about your dreams and if he or she thinks you’re heading for disaster they’ll try to help you find a way to realize your dream another way. If all they do is bash your dreams and tell you that you’ll never succeed, they are unsupportive.
Now if a person is unsupportive it doesn’t mean you need to kick them out of your life. But the next time you get excited about something, only share that information and news with people who genuinely want you to succeed. The other, unsupportive people in your life can hear about it after you’ve accomplished it.
What if your partner is unsupportive of your dreams? That’s a tough one because when you have a partner you both want to be excited for the other person and you want them to be happy. If that’s not the case, you may not be with the best partner you could be with.
But even if your partner is unsupportive of your dreams, you shouldn’t let that stop you. They don’t have to live your life, you do. You are ultimately responsible for the quality and level of joy in your life. If you don’t get support from a partner, find friends who will support you and talk to them about your plans. Let them help you up.
And lastly, for those in your life who are unsupportive, ask yourself if they are happy with their own lives. You’ll probably find that most people who try to bring you down are already wallowing around at the bottom of an unfulfilling life themselves. They are not qualified to guide you up.
Listen to those who want you to succeed. Even if they can’t help you directly, their joy at seeing you happy and fulfilled will help you rise to the top of your own mountain.
Who you spend time with matters.