I frequently receive emails from people who want to attract specific people into their lives. Recently, someone wrote to me wanting to attract an ex-boyfriend back into her life. She felt they were meant to be together and she wanted to use the law of attraction to manifest him back into her life. Here is part of what she wrote to me:
Is there any way to attract a specific person to call or come back into your life? Everyone else seems to say this is impossible with the law of attraction. What do you say? Is it futile? What if this is truly something I want to attract?
Since I get asked variations on this question I thought it would be good to address it in a blog entry. This is what I wrote back to her:
When you want someone to do something, that is not law of attraction. When you want something for yourself that you are hoping will come from a specific person that is law of attraction with limits. When you decide that you want a loving relationship and that you are open to receiving it any way the universe wants to bring it to you then that’s law of attraction and being a vibrational match for it.
Because another person is involved and this person has his own intentions you cannot control what he will do, and you cannot ask the universe to force someone to feel a certain way about you.
Now, that is not to say that he will not come back into your life. It could actually happen that way. But you can’t ask the universe to bring you a certain person. That’s like black magic or mind control in the sense that you are asking the universe to make something happen. What you really want to do is open yourself to receive a loving relationship and prepare yourself to receive that love. What if the universe is trying to send you the perfect guy and you are insisting it be this other one?
Besides love, people often try to use the law of attraction to manifest something very specific when what they really should do is be open. Sometimes being specific prevents you from getting what you really want. For example, people often ask me how they can use the law of attraction to win the lottery. I ask them if they want to win the lottery or have a lot of money. They usually say they just want to be rich. To which I reply, “Well, surely the lottery is one way to accomplish that, but by trying to manifest a lottery win you are blocking the universe from bringing you money some other way.” When you decide in advance how something must manifest for you then you close the door on other ways it can manifest. Why do that? Keep all your options open. Let the universe figure out the how, you just figure out the why.
The why is the most important part of the law of attraction because that’s what makes you a vibrational match for your desire. The “what” part is easy. I want money. I want time. I want to relax. I want a loving relationship. I want a good meal. That’s like looking at the menu at the restaurant of life and deciding what you want to eat. But the why is like handing your money to the cashier and getting a receipt. That’s what puts you in vibrational harmony with your desire. Without the cash it’s just thinking out loud. In my experience, if you don’t have a clear enough “why” then your intention probably won’t manifest.
When you find yourself crafting an intention make sure you are not trying to decide how it will manifest. Be open to any and all ways that the universe might bring your desire to you. Then start looking for signs that your order is on its way.