How do you react to setbacks in your life? Do you get upset and angry? Rant about the unfairness of fate? Plot revenge against those wronged you? Do you curl up in a ball and mope? Does depression and a sense of defeat overwhelm you? Do you shut down, completely unable to move on?

What if what we think are major setbacks in our lives are actually blessings in disguise? What if these personal disasters are not disasters at all? What if a setback is the only way to untangle a knot and move you forward on your path? What if problems, personal disasters, and setbacks are mechanisms used to get you off of one path and onto another?

Years ago my boyfriend broke his leg. I took him to the hospital where they x-rayed his leg and found he’d broken his ankle. Big bummer right? For a very healthy and active person, this may have appeared to be a setback. But in the x-ray, the doctors discovered a strange growth on his shin bone. It was a tumor. They removed it and told him that breaking his ankle probably saved his entire leg. Was breaking his ankle a setback or a blessing?

When I first separated from my husband in 2009 I saw it as a huge setback. I was worried about how I was going to stabilize my income, take care of two children largely on my own, and cope with the loss of what I thought was going to be my companion for life. However, it didn’t take long for me to realize what a blessing our separation was. The sense of independence, freedom, and joy I have is monumental. I ramped up my business in ways I probably never would have thought of while in the confines of my marriage. And I found myself again, and grew into the person I am today, whom I love dearly. It was a difficult process, but definitely a blessing.

But what is orchestrating these setbacks? Is it just random luck? Or is it orchestrated?

I personally believe our spirit guides and higher selves have a lot to do with it. Your higher self set an intention for you before you incarnated. Knowing you’d forget this intention, your higher self assigned you some spirit guides to help nudge you along and keep you on track. When your guides see you’re going down a road that is not aligned with your intentions, they begin looking for ways to adjust your course, to nudge you off one path and onto another. These spiritual detours sometimes appear devastating because you’re not expecting them and often they are severely uncomfortable, but sometimes they are the only way to get you on another path.

I have learned over the years to trust my guides. I may not enjoy the setbacks while they’re happening, but I trust that when something major happens to me that it is serving a purpose and that it’s in my highest good.

The way to turn a setback into a blessing is to have a paradigm shift when something “bad” happens. Instead of seeing it as devastating, begin to look at where it’s going to lead you.

Did you get fired? Maybe it’s time to start that business you’ve been thinking about for years.

Did you get into a horrible car accident and have to spend a month in the hospital? Maybe that’s where you’re going to meet your future spouse.

Did you have a miscarriage? Maybe the time and conditions are not quite right for that baby to arrive, but with some adjustments, the timing will be much better.

Is there any way to know where the guides are trying to get you to go so you don’t have to have a setback to get on track? Yes! Being in touch with your intuition and your guides can keep you on your path so you don’t have to get slammed in the face by disaster. Meditate to tune in to your guides, and determine your dominant intuitive modality so you can strengthen it. If necessary, you can get a reading with me and I’ll tell you what path your guides are trying to move you towards and how to get there without a huge setback.

When a setback happens to you, instead of getting upset and banging your head against the wall, ask yourself, “What’s good about this? What is the universe trying to get me to see? Why is the road I’ve been on now blocked by rubble, and which way am I being drawn to go next?”

When I was 10 years old, during a period of heavy rains, the hill behind our house came down in a huge mudslide. It was frightening watching tons of mud encroaching on our house, threatening its foundation. I remember my mom screaming for us to get out of the house before it collapsed onto us or buried us. After everything stopped moving, only our garage was filled with mud, but the house was intact. I remember my mom looking around the backyard at the damage and musing to herself, “You know… I always wanted a mound in the backyard. Now I don’t have to pay a landscaper to build one. It’s even in the right spot. How lucky is that?” Luck indeed.

Setbacks are opportunities to head off in a new direction that will likely make you happier. Instead of standing agape at the disaster, start to pick through the rubble and see where you might uncover a blessing. Trust me, it’s there. You may not see it right away. In fact it may take years and a lot of hindsight. But it’s there.

Tweet

Email this article to a friend

What to do next:

• Read Erin's new ebook, The Other Side
• Download Erin's teleseminar, The Meditation Mind
• Receive Erin's blogs by email each time she posts a new article
• Subscribe to Erin's blog so you don't miss a single article
• Discuss this article on Erin's forums
• Sign up for the free newsletter and get a free ebook
• Book a reading with Erin and get clarity and guidance

Have you ever heard a little voice in your mind saying things to you like, “You’re no good. Who do you think you are? You’re never going to make it. You may as well stop trying. It’s never going to work.” What about, “He’s never going to love you, you’re not worthy of love. Why do you even bother trying to find love anymore? You’re going to be alone the rest of your life.” Where do you think that little voice comes from?

I’ll tell you. Meet the Ego Imp. He sits on your shoulder and whispers disempowering things in your ear. And you know what? You don’t have to listen to him. That’s right, you are under no contract, legal or otherwise, to sit there and listen to him ramble on incessantly about how horrible you are and how you’re just going to keep failing. You can shut him down.

“But, Erin, my Ego Imp has a megaphone. For a little guy he sure packs quite a wallop! How am I supposed to shut the little guy up?” Fear not! There are two steps to putting a muzzle on the Ego Imp.

First, you must become aware of when he’s talking to you. Should be obvious right? But it isn’t. The Ego Imp attacks you when your vibration is low, when you feel disconnected from love, when you’ve suffered a setback or emotional blow. And he’s insidious. He sounds like your own mind. He sounds like he’s making perfect sense. He appears to mirror exactly what you think your own self would say.

This is why it’s vital that you become aware of when the Ego Imp is whispering sweet nothings in your ear. You’ll recognize the thoughts because they are always disempowering, and they are not based in fact. The thoughts are based on conjecture alone. Are you REALLY never going to find love? Are you REALLY never going to make it in your chosen profession? No! That’s just speculation. These thoughts are just a conclusion drawn in a disempowering way designed to make you give up, feel bad, and take your ball and go home.

So the first step to stifling that Ego Imp is to become aware of when he’s talking to you. When you realize you’re having the disempowering thoughts, say, “Oh, I see you there, you little bugger. I know you’re whispering at me.” Seriously, that’s half the battle. The Ego Imp thrives on you not noticing when he’s talking to you. So shine a light on his impy ways and let him know that you know he’s there.

Now you’re ready to take him down. Get into position, bend your knees, find your center of gravity, and get ready to rumble! You’re about to do battle with your Ego Imp.

When he says, “You’re never going to find love,” you fire back with a more empowering thought; one that is just as accurate, if not more so. For example, “Oh yeah? I’m willing to wait for the right person and I’m not going to settle.” Score one for you.

Then the Ego Imp might say, “You’re nobody special.” So you counter with, “I’m unique, there’s no one else in the world like me. That right there means I’m special.” Burn! You: 2 Ego Imp: 0

Ego Imp is getting nervous, so he fires with, “You’re worthless. You can’t do anything right. You’re never going to succeed!” He’s sly, but you respond with, “I can think of at least 10 things that I CAN do right, and I will figure out how to put something together that is of value to others and run with it. I can’t be stopped unless I stop myself.”

Ego Imp is sweating now. His bullets are hitting Kevlar. He takes one final stab, “You’re not worthy of love!” Oh, ouch! Right below the belt. Ego Imp has hit a nerve, but you’re still standing and reply triumphantly with, “I was BORN worthy of love and that will never change no matter what happens!”

Game, set and match. Ego Imp slumps to the floor in defeat, waving his white flag in surrender. You’ve just shut down the Ego Imp. He’s completely depleted. He knows that no matter what he says to you, you can ALWAYS find a more empowering thought.

If you want, you can flick Ego Imp off your shoulder. Heck, stomp on him a couple of times if you’re in the mood. Then delete him and go on about your day.

The fact of the matter is that no one, not even yourself, can make you feel bad without your permission. You’re the one that lets the Ego Imp in, and you can escort him out just as easily. Once you do, you make way for more resourceful thoughts. You allow your mind to open to new possibilities. You can make new plans. It’s a good time to listen to your higher self, the one that knows your greatness already, the one that knows what you planned for yourself in this life, and wants to help you get it.

So there you have it… how to shut down the Ego Imp. Next time he clears his throat and gets ready to barrage you with disempowering thoughts you’re going to say, “Pfft, off with you, you little monster. You are not welcome on THIS shoulder!”

Winner and still champion: YOU!

Tweet

Email this article to a friend

What to do next:

• Read Erin's new ebook, The Other Side
• Download Erin's teleseminar, The Meditation Mind
• Receive Erin's blogs by email each time she posts a new article
• Subscribe to Erin's blog so you don't miss a single article
• Discuss this article on Erin's forums
• Sign up for the free newsletter and get a free ebook
• Book a reading with Erin and get clarity and guidance