The topic of soul mates is a point of debate among spiritual professionals. Do we incarnate with a pre-determined soul mate who will be our sole partner in life, or is there no such thing as soul mates? Or maybe there is something in between?
The concept of a soul mate is very romantic. The idea that there is a soul dedicated to making you feel loved and happy and all you have to do is find that person on Earth and all your problems are solved is enticing, is it not?
I have found in working with thousands of clients that the concept of a soul mate can cause way more harm than good.
For example, I’ve done many readings with people who are in abusive relationships, but they are convinced their partner is their soul mate and they cannot leave them, as it would be wrong to abandon the person chosen for you in this life.
I’ve also had many clients who divorced their abusive “soul mate” and now feel like they are never entitled to love anyone again since they “got rid” of their soul mate.
I also have clients who won’t date someone unless they can find out in advance that that person is their soul mate, so as not to make a mistake and marry the wrong person.
I’ve also had clients opine that their soul mate must have died or something since they cannot find love at all, and they feel alone and bereft without their magic soul mate.
In all of these cases people are being significantly disempowered and prevented from experiencing joy due to the belief they carry that there is one and only one true love for each of us on this planet.
I don’t believe in the concept of soul mates, just like I don’t believe in fate or destiny.
When you incarnate you are given the gift of free will. You and only you get to decide if you want to be with a certain person for life. You and only you determine who you will date and what sort of behavior you will tolerate.
That being said, I do believe that we sometimes set an intention to connect with certain souls during a lifetime. Members of your soul family who are incarnated on Earth at the same time as you are will be very attractive to you on an energetic level.
But those people may end up just being good friends, or co-workers, or they may pop in and out of your life. You may end up marrying one of them, sure, but it’s a choice, not a pre-determined destiny.
So what I like to tell my clients is this… be your own soul mate. Fall in love with yourself. Figure out who you are and what you desire in life and go after it with all your free will. And when you know who you are and you love yourself, then search for a partner (if you want one) with whom you can share life’s journey.
Life is too short to feel obligated to spend time with someone who erodes your joy or abuses your body or soul. That is not a soul mate, that’s a life sentence.